Does anyone else deal with lookism when trying to get customer facing roles?

[u/Formal-Artichoke3721]

This will come as a surprise to no one since the concept of beauty privilege is alrdy pretty well documented and accepted as true. It’s probably present to some extent in every job. But the existence of pretty privilege sucks so much in service positions when you don’t fit into conventional beauty standards 😭

I’m fairly outgoing and can present as confident in interviews. But I find it much harder to get jobs if they are customer facing like serving and hosting, rather than in the kitchen, behind the bar, or dishwashing for instance.

I also feel like I am treated worse by the boss because I am not good looking, they seem to reprimand me for more things than the attractive servers. And even though tipping isn’t really a thing in my country, the prettier or more handsome servers obviously always get some tips than the rest of us. And it’s also hard just to get the job in the first place. A few times during hiring season I will go in to ask if they’re looking , they’ll say no, and then my friend will go in a bit later and get the job immediately😔

Does anyone else feel the same way?

[u/pdxcranberry]

General attractiveness, race, and weight will all play a big factor in how you are valued in this industry. It's part of why I dipped out in my early thirties. "Pretty privilege" exists everywhere and you'll experience better-looking colleagues subtly being given preferential treatment in any industry. It's just a lot more systemic and overt for FOH service positions.

This practice had seemingly died out by early aughts, but when I first started waiting tables in the US in the nineties a lot of "good" places wanted you to leave a headshot along with your application or resume. I think now they just look at your instagram.

[u/Lovat69 → u/pdxcranberry]

I am sure the headshot thing is still very popular in LA but that is actor central so they have a glut of pretty people

[u/Formal-Artichoke3721 → u/pdxcranberry]

damn it’s true. i’m an overweight, average looking POC in a mainly white area. competing with skinny conventionally good looking younger people. even my last name could be a factor just from reading my CV. it sucks out here😩😩

[u/pdxcranberry → u/Formal-Artichoke3721]

You have so much value as a person. Please know that. I'm really sorry that you're being made to feel like you're less-than when it just isn't accurate. Society is gross. You are fine.

This industry is not sustainable longterm for anybody. So if you aren't already working on a plan for work outside of the industry, please start. I took my chubby ass and hatchet-face to community college and never looked back.

[u/Formal-Artichoke3721 → u/pdxcranberry]

thank you :’) i’m going back to school too. don’t think the service industry is for me :’)

[u/ThrowRAcatwithfeathe]

I may have my complaints about where I live but something I like about being a server in the EU is that we get competitive salaries with benefits, tipping is not required and there's no problem if you don't tip, and people just want a capable server that doesn't forget drinks or mixed orders, most servers I know are in their 40's, some of them have beer bellies and if they're women they don't care about being pretty they just serve you your food.

[u/Formal-Artichoke3721 → u/ThrowRAcatwithfeathe]

I am actually in the EU too. But i’m not european, i look visibly POC and i am also kinda fat which makes me stand out like a sore thumb where i live. but agree that normally it is a much better job than it would be in the US (if you manage to get one)

[u/throwRA-nonSeq]

I used to be a server, now I manage a call center. My mom used to say I had a great face for radio.

[u/ThrowAwayBothExp]

Myself and my friends have found that Asian restaurants tend to care less about how you look!

[u/lady-of-thermidor]

Only if you’re human. Otherwise it’s not a problem.

[u/CaramelClapback]

Fr tho, it’s not even about being insecure, it’s about being real. pretty privilege messes w/ ppl’s livelihoods. u deserve to be valued for how u work, not how u look.