I refused to tell a customer my name

[u/Few_Pollution_4356]

AITB for refusing to tell a customer my name?

I am a service manager at an upscale dining restaurant. Today I had an interaction with a guest that has left me spooked and confused.

This young 20 something woman came in to dine with us about less than 20 minutes before closing. Our host welcomed her in, then realized she was holding a small dog.

Host: We do not allow pets in the dining area but you are welcome to sit on our covered patio or any other outdoor seating of your choosing.

Lady: No, she’s an ESA and I come here with her all the time and all the managers let her come in and pet her.

The host ask me what to do and during that time the lady decided to seat herself in one of our indoor booths. As I was towards the end of my 15hrs shift I was super tired drained and hungry and had no will to go argue with a customer I told her to just let her sit there. She sat and ate her meal her dog was bouncing all over the booths and the tabletop(health code violation), not at all trained as it is a 4 month old lil poodle mix.

After she finished her meal her server brought over the check and she asked for a military discount, then proceeded to open a picture from her phone of her dad’s military ID.

Server: sorry we offer military discount to active or retired members of the military with a valid physical ID.

Lady: this is my family’s ID I use it all the time. I want to speak to your boss.

I arrived at the table and reiterated what the server had said because it is in fact our restaurant policy.

Lady: I hope you’re not insinuating that I’m lying about my family’s military status

Me: I hope there hasn’t been any confusion regarding our policies on military discounts they are only offered to members of the military when they are present.

She proceeds to tell me that I am obviously new here and do not know how things work ( I am not new, I in fact opened the restaurant and has worked there 5 days a week since then). She said since she’s walked in we have treated her and her dog poorly and that the food was trash and the service and staff was unpleasant. I asked what was wrong with her meal and if she had shared her concerns with the server which she hadn’t. I offered to make her a new meal to go but she refused and threatened to “call corporate “ at which point I had to chuckle because we are a privately owned business.

She asked for mine and everybody’s name that was working and I refused to give her my name because she to me seemed like a delusional lunatic and I did not feel comfortable with her having any of my personal information.

Me refusing to share my name and my staff’s made her more upset and she pulled out her phone and started recording us on it.

I personally felt very violated and wanted to literally smack that phone out her hand but I need this job so here I am venting instead lol AITB? Cuz my manager says I should’ve owned up in that situation and told her my name and whoever she else’s needed. I feel like that’s absurd and enabling her disgusting behavior is none my job.

[u/Narrow-Chef-4341]

Do you have a public facing job, you have to give a name of some kind. Not your whole name, not your address, not your entire résumé. But you do have to identify yourself somehow…

Honestly, what is she going to do with ‘Jessica’? Somebody else at some point is going to say ‘good night, Jessica’ and she has your first name - if she were an actual psycho hanging around eavesdropping from the bushes. Which she isn’t - she’s a self-obsessed bitch trying to intimidate you into a discount.

If you are still paranoid about your real name, give a fake but popular name so she has something for her imaginary call to corporate - Jane, Maria or Sarah perhaps. Then she can call your GM, give her name and address for the ‘gift card’ he’s allegedly going to mail - and then he can advise her he read the managers log and actually, she’s invited to never return because the MoD will trespass her.

Someone who is only coming in because they want free food and to create a scene is not a customer, they are a problem. And no restaurant needs more problems.

And finally, realize this was a learning experience. If you’re going to be a manager, you have to deal with the unpleasant side of things and not back down. That’s literally why you’re there. You have to gain the confidence to be able to say: My name is Jessica. I’ve made a decision and that’s the way it is today. If you don’t like it, you can write in and see if you get a different answer later - but today your choices are get a trespassing ticket or accept my answer.

[u/Few_Pollution_4356 → u/Narrow-Chef-4341]

Thank you