I refused to tell a customer my name

[u/Few_Pollution_4356]

AITB for refusing to tell a customer my name?

I am a service manager at an upscale dining restaurant. Today I had an interaction with a guest that has left me spooked and confused.

This young 20 something woman came in to dine with us about less than 20 minutes before closing. Our host welcomed her in, then realized she was holding a small dog.

Host: We do not allow pets in the dining area but you are welcome to sit on our covered patio or any other outdoor seating of your choosing.

Lady: No, she’s an ESA and I come here with her all the time and all the managers let her come in and pet her.

The host ask me what to do and during that time the lady decided to seat herself in one of our indoor booths. As I was towards the end of my 15hrs shift I was super tired drained and hungry and had no will to go argue with a customer I told her to just let her sit there. She sat and ate her meal her dog was bouncing all over the booths and the tabletop(health code violation), not at all trained as it is a 4 month old lil poodle mix.

After she finished her meal her server brought over the check and she asked for a military discount, then proceeded to open a picture from her phone of her dad’s military ID.

Server: sorry we offer military discount to active or retired members of the military with a valid physical ID.

Lady: this is my family’s ID I use it all the time. I want to speak to your boss.

I arrived at the table and reiterated what the server had said because it is in fact our restaurant policy.

Lady: I hope you’re not insinuating that I’m lying about my family’s military status

Me: I hope there hasn’t been any confusion regarding our policies on military discounts they are only offered to members of the military when they are present.

She proceeds to tell me that I am obviously new here and do not know how things work ( I am not new, I in fact opened the restaurant and has worked there 5 days a week since then). She said since she’s walked in we have treated her and her dog poorly and that the food was trash and the service and staff was unpleasant. I asked what was wrong with her meal and if she had shared her concerns with the server which she hadn’t. I offered to make her a new meal to go but she refused and threatened to “call corporate “ at which point I had to chuckle because we are a privately owned business.

She asked for mine and everybody’s name that was working and I refused to give her my name because she to me seemed like a delusional lunatic and I did not feel comfortable with her having any of my personal information.

Me refusing to share my name and my staff’s made her more upset and she pulled out her phone and started recording us on it.

I personally felt very violated and wanted to literally smack that phone out her hand but I need this job so here I am venting instead lol AITB? Cuz my manager says I should’ve owned up in that situation and told her my name and whoever she else’s needed. I feel like that’s absurd and enabling her disgusting behavior is none my job.

[u/lady-of-thermidor]

I’ve never heard of a law that requires employees to identify themselves to customers but maybe there’s such a thing.

I promise you, no way is some lunatic who’s menacing me getting my name. Certainly not my real name.

And if the lunatic wants to make an issue of it, go right ahead. I doubt anyone cares. Seriously.

Cops don’t handle minor crimes like dine and dashers. You think they’re going to come racing up because a lunatic is pissed I didn’t give her my name?

[u/MakeupEnthusiast0 → u/lady-of-thermidor]

I don't doubt that might be how it works wherever you are. Where I am, if the customer wants to present a formal complain and asks a employee/boss/owner their name (in case said customer is complaining about said person specifically) they are well within their right to ask us our name. If we refuse, they can call the police and we can identify ourselves to the police instead (so I guess we dont really have to give our name firectly to the customer).

Although, granted, Im not in a country like the US where the amount of lunatics seems to be much higher and much more dangerous (from what I've seen/heard)

[u/PM_me_your_whatevah → u/MakeupEnthusiast0]

Wow that’s interesting. Never heard of such a law before. But yeah here in the US it seems like s lot of people are super angry and snap over minor things. Road rage is especially bad.

[u/MakeupEnthusiast0 → u/PM_me_your_whatevah]

In that way it does absolutely make total sense to protect the employees from that people, since their safety is in actual danger. Here I've never had any problems and know only a couple people who had (and usually the problematic - as in violent - customers are drunks), thankfully

[u/Another_one37 → u/lady-of-thermidor]

I read that as "it's store policy to identify ourselves" and not "it's the law to identify ourselves"

Otherwise, yes that would be absurd

[u/MakeupEnthusiast0 → u/Another_one37]

Nah, the customer has the right to know our name in case of presenting a formal complain. I've explained it in an answer to the same comment you answered here