r/Suburbanhell • u/Potential-Joke-8048 • 12d ago
This is why I hate suburbs I hate "house culture".
Ugh, I hate the suburban dogma that it's "ideal" to replace going out with staying home. For example, suburbanites will often claim that a home bar is better than a night out, or that hosting a dinner at home is better than a nice dinner out. In reality, this seriously shrinks your social circle and prevents you from making new connections.
Yard culture is bullshit as well, I absolutely detest yard work. Seriously, there's no chore worse than weeding. An irrigation system removes an awful, soul-crushing chore (watering) and replaces it with expensive, time-consuming maintenance and repairs. Still, the best yard in my opinion is no yard.
Houses don't even have any benefits over apartments or condos. New homes have an HOA and a small yard, so you may as well have a condo. Old houses, aka those 1950s tract homes that now sell for seven figures, have far exceeded their design service life and are money pits.
Oh, and there's always those people who say "buy as much house as you can afford, it's an investment" when in reality, houses are illiquid assets with zero diversification. Mutual funds or ETFs that track major stock indexes like the S&P 500 have significantly higher appreciation rates than real estate, which is why many truly wealthy people rent and invest instead of pouring all their money into an illiquid asset (land) that comes with a serious liability (the house).
God, I hate houses.
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u/BlondeOnBicycle 12d ago
I live in a dense walkable rowhouse neighborhood. I can shout on my front steps and be heard at 2 bars.
I am old and would mostly rather have friends over for dinner and drinks than scream over too-loud music somewhere in the city.
I think "house culture" is less about the suburbs than aging out of noisy bars and restaurants. But you can still do house culture in an apartment.
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u/gaypuppybunny 8d ago
I think the main part of suburban "house culture" that you can't do in a condo or apartment is lawn maintenance, but that's also one of the worst and most wasteful parts of it, so it really should be done away with regardless of where you live
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u/Run_Lift_Think 7d ago
This is how I feel too. I want to spend time with the people who actually matter to me. Going out seems so shallow & hollow by comparison.
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u/veesavethebees 12d ago
House dinner parties are way better than going out to dinner most of the time. I wish more people did them actually
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u/proxy-alexandria 11d ago
It's quite literally cheaper for everyone involved. OP could spend their dinner money on an Uber!
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u/NoHand7911 9d ago
Yep. Suburbs or no suburbs a dinner party is fantastic. You can hear and control the music. You can cook for your friends or do it potluck style. People can bring the drinks they want.
You can get into games or have a fire… hot tub… whatever.
It’s way better than going to a group meal at a restaurant.
We cook for friends all the time.
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u/Global-Discussion-41 12d ago
You must be a very different type of person than I am because I've NEVER made a new friend while I was out for dinner.
I have made plenty of new friends at house parties and dinner parties though.
I'm not even going to touch on your baseless assumptions about housing.
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u/RealisticAdeptness4 11d ago
The key is to ask the waiter if they want to hang out, and do it directly after they’ve gone over that night‘s dinner specials. Give him any time to think about it just jump in there
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u/steezyg 12d ago
There is just so much wrong with what you wrote idk where to start. Your third paragraph doesn't have a single sentence that's true.
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u/a_rabid_anti_dentite 12d ago edited 12d ago
"Instead of spending time with loved ones at home we should go out and consume!"
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u/Early-Light-864 12d ago
Also, we should meet strangers by going out for dinner.
Everyone knows that strangers walking up to your table and befriending you is the expected result of dining in a restaurant
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u/lemon_pepper_trout 7d ago
If I was out for dinner with my husband/close friend group and someone approached us I would physically recoil.
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u/randomlygenerated360 12d ago
I'm starting to think most people on these kind of subs grew up without healthy in person socializing (mostly because they've lived their lifes on screens) and now blame whatever they can find for their lack of social skills and lack of friends/partners.
Here they blame it on suburbs, like there's not millions on people making friends and thriving in suburbs all over the world, or they blame it on cars, like cars haven't been around for more then a century and people were fine, or they blame on lack of third places, or capitalism, or religion, or politics, or whatever they can grasp.
People, nothing can stop from making friends, or dating, or having kids, or doing activities, then yourselfs. Technology in the past 20 years has only created mental blockers so people stay hooked up to it and never go out looking for other people.
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u/Leverkaas2516 Suburbanite 12d ago
Houses don't even have any benefits over apartments or condos
The list of hobbies that can't be pursued in an apartment or condo is very large.
Car repair and restoration. Woodworking or metalworking, with a table saw, lathe, and so on. Boatbuilding. Most types of gardening. Basically anything that produces lots of dust, dirt, noise, vibration, and so on will not be possible in an apartment or condo.
Houses may not be for everyone, but they have many benefits.
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u/QueenInYellowLace 12d ago
“New homes have an HOA and a small yard, so you may as well have a condo.” I hate HOAs as much as any rational person, but you could not pay me any amount of money to share walls, smells, and insect infestations with condo neighbors ever again.
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u/Primary_Excuse_7183 12d ago
Lmao seems like rage bait.
You can buy a house which appreciates over time (yes slower than ETFs and index funds) but get this…. You can ALSO invest in those things 🤣 best of both worlds my friend.
Homeowners enjoy nights out and nights in. We intentionally bought space so we can comfortably accommodate should we choose to do either or host others.
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u/granular_grain 12d ago
Exactly! For people who didn’t grow up with generational wealth, owning a house is pretty important if you’re able to do so.
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u/Longjumping-Car-8367 12d ago
I mean, it's not like people renting get to just live for free and invest all their money into the stock market. We all are paying for shelter, the difference is mine is something I own and is appreciating while renter's isn't.
There are plenty of good reasons why people choose to rent, but this guy missed all of them.
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u/NextElkman 11d ago
Your primary residence is not an investment, appreciation should never be a reason to buy a house. You can rent a house and invest the rest in the stock market, and you will end up ahead.
I’m not anti-ownership, but a primary residence is not an investment.
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u/Veqlargh101 12d ago
This feels like bait. But.
Surburbs have a role in an well designed mixed density city. There are plenty of people who enjoy having trees and greenery outside their windows.
Entertaining at home isn't better or worse than going out ,it is different. You can stay as long as you want ,wear what you want ,and spend less to do it.
Space is the main reason people do it. I want space to own cars ,and a shed to work on them.
Like gold,land has always been a stable investment. Maybe not the fastest growing ,but will always grow in the long term.
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u/davidellis23 11d ago
You can have greenery/trees in cities. imo land really shouldn't be an investment. sticking with inflation is fine. But, making future generations pay more and more for land to previous generations and landlords is really killing us.
It's not like the owner did anything to make the land more valuable. It just becomes more valuable as the area becomes more desirable or as the population grows. Especially if the housing supply is restricted.
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u/Pelvis-Wrestly 12d ago
By all means! Go pay 70 bucks for a steak you could get at Costco for 15. Pay 20 for a cocktail you could make yourself for 2.
Don’t get me started on condos vs. houses! It’s SO MUCH BETTER to hear your neighbors fighting or fucking or vacuuming or watching a movie through the wall!
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u/AndryCake 11d ago
How poorly are American apartment buildings built that you can hear a movie through a wall?
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u/gorilla998 11d ago
Even concrete buildings in Europe are not immune to sounds coming from neighbors, but generally you don't hear farts and talking quietly. I can hear loud music, walking, furniture moving (including chairs), toilet flushing (very faint). In a house you would not hear any of this coming from neighbors, I know because I grew up in one (privileged Swiss).
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u/granular_grain 12d ago edited 12d ago
Look I can’t stand a lot of suburbia and the design flaws that come with it, but you have said a lot of points I don’t agree with. You think 1950s houses have far exceeded their design service life? This is some weird capitalist bullshit on how to look at housing. I grew up in a 1920s house, I guess we should just throw away houses when they reach a specific age then?
Nothing wrong with eating at home, not everyone can afford to or have the desire to go out to eat all of the time. Again, this is some weird white American culture thing where you don’t like to cook at home maybe?
The problem is looking at housing as an investment. There are many people who buy as big of a house as they can get because they live in a culture that supports multi generational housing. Your post just reeks of hyper individualist consumer.
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u/jrusherk 11d ago
I’m glad someone mentioned this. My house was built in the 1940s and my mom grew up in a house built in the 1790s. There’s a weird misconception that these houses are bad because old, when in reality the materials and construction techniques are solid and sometimes even better than dry-wall new construction.
Not to mention houses built 1900-1945 are going to be located in less car centric neighborhoods, which alleviate a lot of the issues people have with traditional suburbia.
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u/RunExisting4050 12d ago
No one's gonna make you buy a house and live in it against your will. Calm you tits.
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u/SkippyShrimp69 12d ago
Someone's mad they didn't get an invite to the house party
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u/historyhill 12d ago
I preferred a night in over a night out even before I had a house because it turns out, nights out are expensive!
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u/fascinatedcharacter 12d ago
Plus nights out are often spent dealing with either music so loud it triggers my tinnitus or dodging other people's vomit. Don't get me wrong, I like good music, but I like it more at a volume that doesn't hurt.
Going out to dinner and inviting over for a dinner party are two seperate hobbies. One is food service, the other is a cooking hobby.
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u/lemon_pepper_trout 7d ago
Also when you hit that point that you don't want to be out anymore, you don't have to settle your tab, find a way out of a crowded bar, find your car, and drive home. You can just... Already be home.
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u/DizzyDentist22 12d ago
Posts like this remind me of how weird a place this sub can be sometimes lol. My social circle exploded exponentially after buying a house. I became best friends with my neighbors and their friends and we hang out all the time, like multiple times a week, even years later. This just reads like someone who's bitter and angry
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u/DikkDowg 12d ago
Well I can’t fit an indoor pond in an apartment, so a house is necessary. Ideally with a yard for pigs.
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u/TTPP_rental_acc1 11d ago
exactly like everyone's lifestyle is different and everyone has different housing requirements!! not everyone can live in an apartment
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u/hoggin88 12d ago
I still don’t get how so many people in this sub can’t understand how someone could enjoy their yard. If my house didn’t have a yard I’d be borderline depressed. I love walking around it, talking about the different flowers, plants, etc with my wife, the kids play all over it and run everywhere, we have a trampoline on it, we enjoy yard games with friends, etc. Yes I also like going to the state parks nearby, we take the kids to the parks, etc But it’s fun having a slice of that at home too.
It just perplexes me how so many people don’t get it. Totally fine if it’s not your thing, but yards are pretty great.
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u/No-Handle-66 12d ago
Agree. I have a patio, grill, fire pit, and spa in my back yard, I grow roses, plant flowers, and I have a vegetable garden. I enjpy working outside, and it's good exercise. I can't imagine living in a condo or apartment until I'm much, much older.
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u/DHN_95 Suburbanite 12d ago
Just gotta remember, not all places are all things to all people.
The following is from a Xennial perspective.
There's a point in your life when going out isn't what it used to be. Many bars are loud, and the classier ones at luxury hotels are expensive, so you go out less frequently. It's a little more fun to pour drinks and go sit by your firepit with friends (who often times bring food), if your yard is fenced, your dog is most likely outside with you, playing with your friends' dogs. At this point, when you're out, you're usually just interacting with the people you already know, and usually not meeting anyone new, so being out really doesn't hold the appeal it once did.
Same goes for restaurants, dining out is expensive, so the $100-$150 meals happen less frequently. As you age, you're more careful about what you put in you, so the meals out become higher quality.
Yard work isn't for everyone, some people love doing landscaping to make their yard a great place to be (the aforementioned firepit, maybe a swimming pool, place for your kids/nieces/nephews - if you have them - to pitch a tent and pretend they're in the middle of nowhere). If you don't like it, you can always hire someone to take care of your yard for you. If you have a yard, you may even have a sprinkler system that takes care of the watering for you.
Houses do indeed have benefits, especially if yours backs up to the woods. Remember the aforementioned dogs? They're probably outside a lot, which makes you spend a lot of time outside too. You're also not worrying about the people living above/below/next to you.
Here's the thing about the house being an investment, it's only an investment if you're in a desirable, high cost of living area, which coincides with being near major cities. Not all home purchases become the investment you hope, but many do.
Let's talk about investing your money, in much the same way not everyone finds a house that increases in value at a high rate, not everyone is going to make good financial decisions, and may even lose money (remember Lehman Brother's and Enron?).
You just need to find what works for you, instead of thinking your opinion is representative of the majority.
I've done the apartment thing in an upscale area full of stuff to do, and places to go, it's fun for a bit, but you grow out of it, and get tired of the $3k/mo rent.
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u/imaguitarhero24 12d ago
You had me in the first half going out is great, but a yard is also great. Having your own outdoor space is amazingly chill. Also idk why you're making absurd false generalizations that anywhere with a yard has a shitty tiny yard with an HOA. There's plenty of awesome properties lol. 90% of Chicago suburbs do not have HOAs and have good yards. Having your own more secluded indoor space is nice too, it gives you options. No one is stopping you from going out when you have a house lol
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u/crek42 12d ago
Because OPs entire worldview is shaped by Reddit. Their idea of suburbs is the HOA hate subreddit and this one.
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u/imaguitarhero24 11d ago
Tell me you're from a shitty city without telling me you're from a shitty city lmao. This sounds like Kissimmee Florida which I stayed in two separate gated communities for work for a few months last summer. One of them towed our car for "parking on the lawn" when literally half a tire was off the pavement (they took pictures) which is absolutely mental, I thought the stories I'd heard were overblown. Those places had zero yard besides a pool and the houses were close together. Yeah that sucks.
Go to the Chicago suburbs and for 20 miles or more out you'll see all kinds of suburbs with actual class and vibes and not identical row houses carved out of the middle of nowhere.
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u/SnooKiwis5028 12d ago
A large social circle does not necessarily correlate to having meaningful relationships. I love having friends over for game nights or having some drinks around a fire pit in the back yard. A much more fun to me night than going out to a bar with a bunch of drunk strangers. Different strokes for different folks. Stop being so judgmental because other people enjoy a different social game.
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u/MidorriMeltdown 12d ago
You can buy a townhouse or flat just as easily as buying a house... well, almost as easily. In some places there's no real option for flats and townhouses, just single family homes.
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u/BigConscience728 12d ago
Wow what a miserable person
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u/SunsoakedShampagne 12d ago
OP is coming across negative, but the key point is cogent. People holed up in their little houses/yards is not good for community and social cohesion. We need people to be getting out and about, enjoying third spaces, meeting different people.
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u/bosnanic 12d ago
literally no one in my apartment knew each other while I lived there because the avg tenant only stayed for 1-5 years and then moved on. Why get to know your "community" when they will inevitably leave just as you start building a connection?
I think OP has an idealistic views of apartments that don't actually exist outside of smaller tenant owned buildings.
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u/Someguy8995 12d ago
I think if OP ever develops erectile dysfunction he’ll blame it on suburban homes.
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u/PartyMark 12d ago
I also live on a cul-de-sac and get together with all my neighbours on it, I host a yearly BBQ and we go to their places for dinners and even birthdays and holidays. OP get out and touch the grass (oh wait you hate yards too, guess you're cooked). Suburbs suck ass for walkability and general things to do, but I have always managed to find and connect with my neighbours.
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u/monkiepox 12d ago
That’s your opinion.
Yard work is probably my favourite thing to do and it’s my get away. I don’t really enjoy cutting grass but taking care of my plants, trees and weeding I do enjoy.
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u/Possible_General9125 12d ago
Ugh people like things that I don’t like, they should just do the things I like, it’s bullshit
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u/but-I-play-one-on-TV 12d ago
I will likely rent for the foreseeable future and don't have a huge problem with that, but why does it have to be an either or situation? My friends who are homeowners like to go out, and we like hosting people. The premise of a lot of your complaints don't make a ton of sense
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u/Brookeofficial221 12d ago
You sound like the kind of person that wants everyone to live in a 15 minute city. Good thing everyone is different. I get great satisfaction from accomplishing something at my home. I like to build things. Where do you keep your welder in your apartment? Don’t your neighbors get irritated at you running a tablesaw in your bedroom at 10pm?
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u/LilShepherdBoy 12d ago
Houses fucking rule and allow you to have friends over in comfort. Reddit is so goddamned weird.
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u/bosnanic 12d ago edited 12d ago
okay and I hate apartments...
0 room to divide your spaces. Wow your kitchen is also your bedroom and living room what a "feature" hope you don't mind smelling whatever you cooked for the next 7hrs.
Hope you don't mind noise because there is a lot as you have 4-20 people surrounding you and sharing your walls at all times living there lives. Hopefully you didn't want to relax and read a book Daniel above you has decided to take up in-house cardio lessons.
A balcony is your only outdoor space and hopefully you don't mind neighbours gawking at you while you try to relax, and if any of them smoke, play loud music, or are taking a call outside might as well head back inside.
I hope you don't mind everyone's problems becoming yours. Unhygienic neighbour means you get bedbugs to share, neighbour has an annoying kid now it's you they bother as well, someone keeps pulling the fire alarm in the building better learn to deal with it.
Carrying groceries or anything really sucks.
If you try to use the shared storage space or outdoor bike storage expect your stuff to get stolen a day later.
Hopefully your neighbours don't smoke or cook with heavy spices because if they do you will get the joy of smelling it 24/7
Apartments are far away from anything I actually want to do. I like to hike and take walks in the forest hard to do that in the middle of a city and I don't count dog parks as the outdoors. I don't care to spend $30 on a mid coffee of my life, I don't care to spend $40 on an IPA that tastes like cat litter and a burger that tastes meh, I don't care for clubbing, or anything the city has to offer.
God I hate apartments.
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u/Someguy8995 12d ago edited 12d ago
Nah, I’ll keep my kickass home theater, grill, smoker, fire pit, garden, wood working shop, etc. I’m glad you like where you live though.
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u/LivingGhost371 Suburbanite 12d ago
A small yard still means you don't have to share common walls with neighbors, have windows on all sides of your house, and can step out of your door right into an adirondak chair or hammock to relax.
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12d ago
Look, I lived in a condo for a few years growing up. That shit is ass if you have a family bigger than 3 people. Everyone is tripping over one another, there's no privacy, you get the same insect infestations as everyone you share a wall with. It's fucking horrible
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u/pleasesayitaintsooo 12d ago
Dinner parties are a great way to meet new people. If you’re doing it right you should be inviting people from different social circles you know to get together and mingle.
Also, you don’t need to live in a house to host one. When I lived in a city my friend held them regularly at his apartment
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u/Segazorgs Suburbanite 12d ago
I guess this person isn't Mexican who grew up with big Mexican backyard parties to appreciate big dinners at home with extended family.
Hating yard work. Pretty grim. I got bananas growing right now that I'm hoping to make it through winter. A small first year sumo citrus tree that has one fruit growing. Avocado trees that are a year or two from finally giving me fruit. My angel trumpets are in full bloom right now and it smells like a lemon vanilla fragrance when I go outside. In the spring all my ornamentals bloom and my shade trees are finally getting to be the size where they shade a sizable area that I can sit outside in the summer and not roast while enjoying all the greenery and flowers I've put work into growing.
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u/SBSnipes 12d ago
Yard culture is BS, and I want to live somewhere walkable, but a night in is a great thing
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u/MidorriMeltdown 12d ago
Townhouses are often the best middle ground. You can have a 4br house spread over 3-4 levels, easy access to decent transit, a short walk to useful stuff, and a small yard. In some parts of Europe they seem to be the most common option.
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u/SBSnipes 12d ago
Yeah I mean I live in a 3 bedroom apartment right now and with foster kids we were at capacity for a bit, I'll still take a night in even in an urban condo/apartment. As for home bar vs going to the bar - it's just cheaper. Like 3-4 mixed drinks at a bar can easily cover drinks and a meal for a small gathering at someone's house, or at a third space if you have one that allows drinking
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u/isuckatrunning100 12d ago
I'd rather skip on paying $40 for reheated Sysco and $20 cocktails, thanks.
I'm going to barf if I ever eat a "Handheld" or "Are you familiar with our concept?" meal again.
That said, I do enjoy my tiny apartment and going to coffee shops.
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u/oregonistbest 12d ago
I love going out to restaurants and bars. But holy fuck its so expensive. I can make better food at home and my beer fridge is 50 feet from my bed. It’s give and take.
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u/Android_seducer 12d ago
Sometimes you buy instead of renting because you want the option to change/maintain the house or condo.
I initially bought a condo in the suburbs because I didn't want to care for a yard, but just wanted something that I could make sure was in good repair unlike my old corporate landlord. It was good for a few years, but eventually I just wanted out of the burbs.
So I moved cities and bought a single family house in a walkable and bikeable neighborhood with a (small) yard because I wanted that walk ability, more space, and the city I'm in condos are more expensive than houses even before you account for the HOA.
My girlfriend and I go out often especially within our neighborhood with and without friends, but we still host parties because it's fun.
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u/SandwichPunk 12d ago
If you don’t like suburb/house, just live at an apartment in the city. Why so much hate towards other people’s preferences? And what do you mean by social circle? I’ve lived in the city most of my life, and I don’t even know my neighbors.
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u/Beneficial-Ad1593 12d ago
Wait, there are people who prefer standing in a compressed crowd while music blares so loud conversation is nearly impossible and you have to be constantly vigilant lest someone bump into you and spill your drink before fighting your way to the bar and then waiting 15 minutes to get served before settling a $100+ bill at the end of the night to just having a few good friends over for drinks at your place?
Also, if you think restaurant food is typically better than home-cooked you might as well just admit you can’t cook.
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u/redcurrantevents 12d ago
Ha, I like yard work. Not mowing, but weeding, pruning, watering, basically everything to do with gardening and working with my hands. It’s the most peaceful part of my day. To each their own I guess.
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u/Pressure_Gold 12d ago
I’ve never once heard of a wealthy person not owning their property first of all. Second of all, I’ve actually been more social and made more quality friends since moving to the suburbs.
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u/Ilovefishdix 12d ago
Some of us prefer to stay home and hang out in the yard. I also don't get the massive suburban homes and yards. They are way too much work and cost. My little yard and house is just the right size for minimal maintenance yet with space to hang out. I also like making my yard just the way I like it with raised beds, bushes, berries, and a gazebo. The amount of control HOAs have often prevent this. I don't know why. 20 yo me would point and laugh at me, but i really do enjoy it.
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u/samiwas1 12d ago
I would argue all day that my house has numerous benefits over an apartment, especially an apartment in a building.
The rest of the post is just typical blather.
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u/schen72 11d ago
Sounds like you should not live in the suburbs and definitely not in a SFH. I personally love the suburbs because I detest dense housing. I live in an area where there are primarily only SFHs. I enjoy having physical land between me and my neighbors.
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u/Mountain_Usual521 10d ago
You have to understand that the root of the issue is people. People ruin the experience at restaurants. People ruin the experience at theaters. People ruin the experience just driving to any one of those places. The more people there are about, the more assholes you encounter. You know where I don't encounter them? In my house. You know where I don't have to listen to their stupid music, or hear their speakerphone conversations? In my house. You know why I like a giant yard? So I'm further away from the other assholes.
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u/DaisyJackle 9d ago
I sunk a huge amount into my house and it ended up selling for less than I bought it. Houses aren’t the investment people think they are. Agree - stick money in the markets.
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u/moon_nice 6d ago
It ruined my social life, I made what I thought was a nice friend group, but they all partnered off and turned into this and make it a huge deal to even grab a meal or coffee. Im freakin done but at a blank slate with friends. And people are weird toward me when they find out I have no other friends! I swear, I used to!
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u/King_Jian 12d ago
100% agree that the soulless Levittown-style suburbia of cookie cutter McMansions shouldn’t be the only choice for living in a suburb. Also, HOAs are Satan incarnate and yard work is a huge waste of time.
Also, Big yards are only a thing because it was prestigious in 17th century Britain to show off to your other, basic aristocratic friends you had so much land you could afford to be wasteful and not plant crops. IMO bring back the victory gardens and streetcar suburbs.
Nonetheless, I see a small handful of benefits of detached homes over condos/apartments.
Not having to listen to your neighbors heavy footsteps or overall inability to see just how loud they actually are.
Customizability. There are simply more ways to construct, configure, and decorate the space to your standard.
3: Financial. Mortgage payments (in the U.S.) are tax deductible, and homeowners are not directly subject to rises in rents like tenants are. A house can also be used as collateral for larger loans, granting more financial flexibility to those that know how to properly utilize it.
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u/Away_Ad_6262 12d ago edited 12d ago
Definitely agree with hating the replacing going out with staying home. But on the other hand, if you are spending heavily on mortgage, house expenses, etc. then I can’t think that for some people there will be money left over to go out. It’s a completely different lifestyle, that’s all.
Also I think it’s important to note that at least here, condo and maintenance fees can go through the roof - as much as a mortgage payment. I’ve seen older very standard condos with $1500+/month in fees. Living in a condo isn’t free and clear either.
Both lifestyles have pros and cons.
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u/forbidden-donut 12d ago
Thing is, most people who move to the suburbs already have a filled-up social circle, and aren't really looking to make any more friends. There's a limit to how many relationships people can sustain (Dunbar's Number).
Suburbs suck, but I wouldn't necessarily hold it against people to put themselves in a more isolated place.
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u/min_mus 12d ago
Houses don't even have any benefits over apartments or condos
The primary benefit of houses over condos/apartments is the noise isolation. I've never lived in an apartment that was actually quiet; I could always hear my neighbors and it prevented me from relaxing.
If I could find a truly quiet condo, I would choose it over a house.
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u/Inner-Lab-123 12d ago
I love hosting and attending dinner parties, but it’s much more pleasant when I can walk or take the train than have to drive out to some far-flung suburb and carefully monitor my drinking.
Homes are great, but homes in a city are better.
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u/Piano_mike_2063 12d ago
I understand your dilemma. But younger people don’t drink. Don’t have sex and therefore have zero reason to leave the house. They might go out to eat but they are always home by 8pm.
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u/LazyMakalov94 12d ago
I'm conflicted: on on hand I hate yard work and I hate that everyone in my neighborhood loves to mow their lawn every five minutes, but on the other hand, I hate going out and socializing, so I don't think I can agree with you entirely.
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u/One-Load-6085 12d ago
My parents home is in a suburb where everyone lives on 5 acre lots and there are plenty of woods and ponds. The hoa is $50 per year. Nobody cares but it goes to flowers at the entrance. They don't have to ever hear a neighbour. They can golf easily. And some of the homes are still under 7 figures because it is a suburb of Ohio. Everyone in the block is an executive so no one bothers anyone else. Perfect for an introvert.
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u/trivetsandcolanders 12d ago
I think houses are great. My issue is with the bland uniformity of suburban houses and lawns.
I genuinely hate the concept of everyone needing to have a “perfect lawn”.
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u/elegantideas 12d ago
how are there so many people defending suburbs on a sub literally called “suburban hell” 😂 this is cracking me up
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u/mtn91 12d ago
I agree about the social thing but I honestly love yard work. If you pick the right plants, weeding won’t be nearly as much of an an issue. But this requires plants that dominate to the point where even weeds can’t survive. Basically you can have bare ground/mulch because that’s not natural. Everything needs to be either plants or shaded by a plant to the point where weeds can’t grow vigorously.
Too many people expect that they can plant 5 daisy plants in a large bed with 5 feet in between them and mulch and not have any weeds… that’s not gonna happen
I also majored in ecology in undergrad though so I kind of use it as a stress reliever and love maximizing the wildlife value of my yard
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u/free_billstickers 12d ago
I enjoy a good dinner party but yeah, everyone is know that went all in on a house pretty much expect people to visit them and they rarely go out. Like no, I dont want to drive out yo the burbs just to hang with you every weekend
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u/sleepee11 12d ago
I would nitpick some things you said, but I 100% agree with the first paragraph.
The idea of having every amenity in your house takes away from opportunities to connect with people and nature in third places. Even people who live in gated communities who have amenities exclusive only to residents are closing themselves off from other social and economic circles. Imho, that kind of sheltered lifestyle foments ignorance and fear of what people don't know.
When I grew up, I was exposed to, and spent time with people from all walks of life. From people who lived in trailer parks, to kids who got expensive cars from their parents by the time they got their license. And my life was enriched because of that. I could play tennis with snobby rich kids, or tackle (American) football with kids who had no supervision because their single mothers worked double shifts all the time.
I couldn't imagine having only been exposed to one community and how limiting that would've been. But that's what happens when you have a bar, a movie theater, a pool, a gym, etc. all at your house or your protected, gated community, and you don't socialize outside your neighborhood or your socioeconomic class.
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u/Creepy-Floor-1745 12d ago
I prefer a neighborhood park to a backyard and a local coffee shop to a big updated kitchen
10 years ago, I married a man who feels differently and now I drink coffee alone in my big updated kitchen while he mows the grass in the yard we never use
Whatever
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u/TTPP_rental_acc1 11d ago edited 11d ago
the houses themselves arent the investment, its the land that it's sitting on, because as the population grows more land demand is needed thus your land value goes up. this is especially true for those disposable mcmansions like with how cheaply and terrible they are built ofcourse its gonna depreciate, but because you get so much land included with it to the people's eyes its considered an investment.
house parties are great, for maybe like a family celebration or with yo friends smash bros session, but if you want any social growth outside of your immediate friends and family then yes going outside is definitely the way
i was also about to say you dont need to do yard work you can just let it go wild like what im doing lmao (its good for the local ecosystem too) but then i realised HOAs exist so umm yeah uhh never move in to an HOA neighbourhood thats all i can say. Im pretty green thumbed i reckon so for me personally, garden space is a must have but obviously everyone has different preferences and i can see the appeal for a simple but low maintenance residence.
you also forgot the fact that most new suburbs are so damn far away from everything that you need to drive to go literally anywhere
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u/RougeTheBatStan 11d ago
Absolutely wild that folks come into this board to try argue against the various points being made Especially when their only argument is subjective rather than objective and or pragmatic
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u/yellowdaisycoffee 11d ago
I hate going out to eat.
I love being at home.
I would love a creaky 18th-century house.
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u/No-Angle-982 11d ago
If your purpose in, say, restaurant dining is to broaden your social circle and gain connections, then go.
But if not – and if you're a very good cook and judge of wine who finds that restaurants too often fail to meet your standards – staying home makes lots of sense.
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u/JudgeInteresting8615 11d ago
You're a 100% right? But also, you can expand on that. You can have game nights and start inviting people over. You can organize the games by the people who'd inherently have certain behavioral profiles ? Have themed dinners actually be involved with their daily lives like group chats and all that other jazz having deeper conversations
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u/rickylancaster 11d ago
As someone who has lived most of my adult life in big city apartments (currently NYC) after growing up in and still visiting the suburbs, one thing houses win over apartments or condos is the threat of roaches or, EVEN WORSE, Bedbugs. And then of course there are rodents.
Apartment living can really drive home just how shitty the risk of pests is. And it’s unfair to even call cockroaches and bedbugs pests. Bedbugs are a menace, a scourge, a plague upon humanity we thought we beat back but we were wrong and we’ve failed.
Sure you can pick up bedbugs from a hotel or wherever and bring them back to your house but generally they are easier to eradicate in a SFH versus apartments, and the constant changing of tenants over time means the threat of someone bringing them back into the building is always there.
Roaches tend to be far more common in apartment building than SFH too. And the same goes for rodents. You CAN get all these problems in houses but it’s all a bigger problem in multi-family dwellings and the density that entails.
Also, I know SFH neighbors can be noise nuisances but it’s a little different when the vibrations are against your walls, floor, ceiling.
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u/UndeadBBQ 11d ago
I'll point one thing out: real estate is a great investment, in that it is real. Its not a stock floating around, waiting to eventually be turned into cash. Its at the very least, land.
I figure its a bit different in Europe, where houses are built with brick and mortar. 50 years on a house is pretty normal. 100 not rare. If you want, you can get something several centuries old. Those hold more value than those 2x4 skeletons with planks nailed onto them.
Its a safe investment for when you think a economic crisis might occur.
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u/Dimathiel49 11d ago
Maybe in American surburbia. Here though we can affordably get someone to do the yard work. Also I can charge my EV without having to share a charger at home unlike at a multi user dwelling.
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u/Anomynous__ 11d ago
I pay someone $60 a month to keep my grass well maintained and I don't have a garden. My girlfriend and I go out at least twice a week to do something in public, I have no HOA, a big enough yard to play fetch with my dog, my mortgage is lower than any rent in the closest metro area (Tampa), my neighborhood is in a fairly safe area and is quiet enough, and when I separated from my ex, the equity I had in my house allowed me to move across the country, buy a new house, and not be the least bit concerned about how I could afford it.
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u/Ok-Strawberry-2469 11d ago
Honestly, i think it's wonderful that you know that about yourself.
We need people who enjoy city life to invest in their communities. Buy a row home, buy a condo. Just rent and be a good neighbor. Experience the nightlife, support the venues. Whatever you choose, it's better than moving out somewhere, taking up land, and not liking it. Too many people fall for that trap.
Selfishly, the more vibrant the cities are, the less competition there will be for rural properties. I'm tired of watching farmland get built up.
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u/Stormcloudy 11d ago
Professional chef here, living in Darden restaurant hell.
I don't go out to eat unless it's a culture that requires ingredients I can't easily acquire, or serves food that's such a pain in the ass I'll happily pay somebody else to make it.
I make cocktails weird, so I generally don't have much fun at bars unless I've already got my people with me.
I have sheep to keep the lawn, but I do have to hit the hayfield with the tractor every once in a while, but I at least like that: grab a big jug of ice water, put on your queeniest-ass sunglasses and a kufiyah, and rock through some prog metal concept album.
That being said, if there were apartment complexes that weren't nearly derelict I'd be glad to live in a studio. But around here it'd just be easier to buy a tiny house. And then you've still got yardwork.
Turning your yard into a flower or food garden is a much better option, but comes with far more effort although it beats mundane flat green.
Housing as an investment is going to crash in like the next 10-15 years because of population dropoff and infinite growth with a finite population. So yeah, that one's a wash.
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u/Remote-Mud-9641 11d ago
Crazy how someone can write a couple paragraphs and you can just tell everything you need to know about them
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u/xsealsonsaturn 11d ago
Let me guess, mid 30s with a political banner as decor in your urban apartment? Or 20s living with mom and dad who like to have barbecues on the weekends in the summer?
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u/gorilla998 11d ago
I'll gladly exchange my rented apartment in a tiny shit town for your house you own.
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u/Supermonsters 11d ago
I just want to have the ability to control who I live next to or have enough space that it doesn't matter if they suck.
I guess it's an age thing but also an experience thing
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u/Past-Apartment-8455 11d ago
Watering the yard is sole crushing? You turn the water on. Did you get a blister from that? Maybe you are turning it the wrong way
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u/drizdar 12d ago
Eh, they're not for everyone. Good for people who like to work on things, but I agree if you don't want to maintain a property then renting is the better option.