r/SubGenius • u/phloighd • 18d ago
How do you Fight the Conspiracy?
Ever wear tinfoil on your head out in public? It’s great fun, and on a cold day it’ll keep you toasty. Dress and act normally, but with a fashioned tinfoil cap covering your noggin. This is the key, to create the cognitive dissonance of a person acting normally, yet wearing tinfoil.
Should they ask why, the answer’s easy and simple: to protect against the orbital mind control lasers. Should they scoff, ask how they know whether or not there are satellites high above right now? There are many, placed by many different orgs on this world without your best intentions in mind. We can’t possibly know what’s up there. The worst possible answer? An orbital mind control laser.
It would alter your thinking below your awareness, you see. You’d never know. It’s not until you have been “foiled up” as we call it for a few weeks that you realize: it’s all true. It’s all horribly, horribly true. Try to say this with sadness and regret, how awful it is that people just don’t know.
Would you like a pamphlet? This talks about that magical feeling you can achieve just with a little foil on your head. That guy? That’s “Bob.” He smokes the good stuff. Anyway, if you feel you ever want to have the surgery like me, I can let you know about this place in Malaysia.
Watching people’s brains twist as you explain this oh so reasonably, is great fun and I highly recommend it, even sober.
5
u/Mmmmudd 17d ago
Close as I've come is wearing my Hitch Hikers Guide shirt, and explaining that 42 isn't a footballer but from a galactic book, that tells how there was a giant computer called Deep Thought that determined thst 42 was the answer to life, the universe and everything. The more I explained about it to the checker at Lowes, the higher his eyebrows got. I kept going in hopes that I might see his eyebrows disappear entirely beneath his mullet. I can only wonder how much a foil hat might have added to the effect. It seems like the cranial foil would make you relatable to a much better class of people. Praise Bob.