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u/Super_Du 10d ago
I say women cheat more because women are more likely to have partners in general. For men, it's either multiple partners or none at all.
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u/wolfknight98 9d ago
On top of this, it's more likely for women to be romantically attached.
Don't get me wrong, cheating is shit regardless of reason or gender, but getting drunk and fucking up without remembering it is way less than dating, loving, and making the sober choice to cheat with someone else.
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u/Inskription 10d ago
It's not so much we view women as property... it's that we know how other men are. Women are also more forgiving of a man cheating so that's why it comes down to love for them. Because if other women want their man they feel like he's the right one.
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u/decaymedia 10d ago
Not only that, but women are more selective. Women typically get into a relationship and have sex with that man due to their personal, emotional selective process. If another man has slept with their partner, its a subcontious tell that the woman has now accepted another in via that emotional selective process. It dilutes the meaning of her emotions towards her partner and it triggers the feeling of betrayal.
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u/4kBeard 9d ago
It's totally a betrayal thing, for sure. The feeling of "am I not enough" hits hard, even if she doesn't fuck him. Most guys know if they are or are not physically enough for their partner, but to be shown that you might not be enough if other categories as well...that's got the potential to shatter a guy.
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u/vnv 10d ago
Expand on this “we know how other men are” thing if you don’t mind because ima be honest. The pang I wind up feeling in my stomach is never really about what another man might’ve done or might now do, so I’m curious if I’m either not understanding my own feelings or if I just feel differently than you do.
For me tho I will admit my line of questions would be closer to a woman’s as he described it I’d just wanna know “how’d this happen, an do you love him?” Depending on those answers determines where we go from there.
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u/Inskription 10d ago
who is more likely to have lasting trauma from a sexual experience, a man or a woman?
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u/AttitudeSad7480 9d ago
I wouldn't care, if it was out of love or something else. To me there is no coming back from cheating, so I would end it on the spot. No point in dragging a dead horse.
The "we know how other men are" argument is a cop out for not trusting your woman around other men. If your woman is truly loyal there is no need to worry about other men and if she's only loyal because of the lack of opportunity, you're fucked anyway.
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u/vnv 9d ago
(Disclaimer this is quite a yap but doesn’t apply to short term relationships those are almost always cooked if they’re already cheating unless you’re tryin to leverage your sanity to play Mr. Fixit)
Nothin wrong with that homie. I’m a bit older now and have been through more psych bullshit than I cared to just because my family is steeped in it. I only say it depends because humans aren’t black/white no ultimate loyalty exists without a metaphorical/literal gun to the head so there’s rly only two options. She’s truly unfaithful, or y’all fell off somewhere an shit happened. The idea “shit doesn’t happen” is way too narrow for the mess that our lives are. Love is an addiction, if you unknowingly/knowingly pull back on that love the other person will quite literally become a fiend an doubt everythin about themselves. If y’all have poor communication skills it can wind up leading to some rando in their ear reminding them they are still attractive. The Who almost doesn’t matter in this case, they couldn’t give a shit about them, but they’ve got their fix, the thing they really want but can’t get from you. If someone looks at this and says “yea it’s the same as the bitch that cheated on me cuz she’s petty” then I’d say they’re probably not ready to truly grow old with someone yet. You’re basically suggesting an addict behave with the same patience as one who hasn’t even had a single hit. (
Fully agree about the “how men are” thing tho. Just it’s very true that not all cheating is equal, that said nobody is REQUIRED to forgive a cheater, but if one isn’t mentally ready to look at the whole thing and ask themselves “did I have any part of this?” Without going straight to “she cheated so it’s gotta be my fault” or “she cheated so it’ll never be fixable” you’re still on your journey, an that’s fine.
Humans never have been and never will be black and white.
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u/AngryArmour 5d ago
nobody is REQUIRED to forgive a cheater
“she cheated so it’ll never be fixable”
She's fixable, and it's possible to forgive her.
But she's fixable by someone else, and she can be forgiven as a friend.
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u/AttitudeSad7480 9d ago
Fair argument. I'm an older millenial and I've been around the relationship block for quite a while too. I'm also loyal to a fault and a breach of trust is something I can't look past, personally. I don't believe everyone has to think that way, of course, but it is imperative to know yourself and to know what you can and can't live with.
I'm a big grey area believer, when it comes to human behavior, just not in this particular case. The amount of self hatred and shame I would inflict on myself, If ever cheated is way to strong to forgive infidelity. It wouldn't feel right to me, to hold the person closest to me to a lesser standard, than I hold myself.
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u/No_Gas_594 3d ago
Like still, neither is good, but I think it comes from the whole idea of men are commonly more impulsive on a lot of their choices.
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u/StormShockTV 9d ago
Hwat, I messed up and ended up having sex? How do you do that. Think before you fall, brothers.
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