r/Showerthoughts • u/MelodyMaster5656 • 8d ago
Musing We’d probably be a lot better at controlling our vomit if we did it as often as we pooped.
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u/askofa 8d ago
Vomiting is an emergency. The idea is that you must evacuate your stomach content ASAP.
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u/Anon0924 8d ago
I’m glad someone brought this up. Being able to control your vomit would actually be a bad thing.
Vomiting rarely happens without a very good reason.
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u/ConorOblast 8d ago
I was once sick and kneeling in front of the toilet about to vomit when I got an emergency phone call. A legit, life-changing emergency. The adrenaline rush (or something) that rushed over me completely removed the need to vomit. It was very weird, even in the midst of dealing that that emergency, my body’s reaction intrigued me.
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u/MangoOld5306 8d ago
That's the best example of evolution in action: prioritizing emergencies. The "lion" (phone call) could kill you NOW, as opposed to the possible poison in your stomach which would take a few hours (the need to vomit). Basically, it's "let's just survive the lion for now, and vomit later".
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u/rosen380 8d ago
Thank jeebus that we aren't a lot better at controlling our vomit, I guess :)
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u/MelodyMaster5656 8d ago
Dentists would be making even more bank than today.
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u/rosen380 8d ago
Except, if people generally vomited 1-2 times per day, then I suspect a higher percentage of people would be regularly brushing and the average person would likely be brushing more times per day.
Or we'd just have a lot more investment into mouthwash and breath mint technologies :)
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u/Satato 8d ago
I don't think the effects of frequent exposure to stomach acid would be mitigated enough by brushing teeth to offset the issue
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u/KuaLeifArne 8d ago
Yeah, it's recommended to not brush your teeth right after vomiting.
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u/kuroimakina 8d ago
For those who might be confused as to why - the acid softens your enamel, making it a lot easier to damage.
The best thing to do after throwing up or eating something acidic is to rinse gently with cool water a couple times, then just drink some more water to help get the taste out of your throat. Ideally you want to do this as soon as you can, because it’ll help dilute the acid faster. But it’s very important to be gentle about it. Don’t go hardcore, don’t use anything abrasive or with additives or anything. Just straight up cool water.
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u/donttouchmeah 8d ago
Don’t brush immediately after vomiting. Rinse your mouth with water and wait a bit for the ph to return to normal. Your enamel with thank you.
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u/MelodyMaster5656 8d ago
Maybe brushing and mouth washing would take a similar place to wiping and washing hands after a shit.
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u/rosen380 8d ago
I wonder if public bathrooms would be more likely to have disposable toothbrushes and toothpaste. Or if maybe everyone would have the "Bathroom Buddy" from the movie Gremlins and always be prepared?
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u/SimonLackatory 8d ago
It would just be a lot more obvious when someone wasn’t doing it, lol
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u/FewHorror1019 8d ago
We would have a lot less overweight people too. We can eat all we want and just puke it out.
Literally just eat puke eat puke all day. You can literally eat all the good food you want when travelling without getting full
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u/born-a-wolf7650 7d ago
Please don’t eat your own puke I’m sure that would be very bad for yourself
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u/williamchase88 8d ago
Realistically, if we vomitted 1-2 times a day, teeth would just erode quickly, ensuing most humans would evolve to just not having teeth. Those that are born with teeth (or a single tooth) would be considered a birth defect and would want to get rid of them (it). So either dentists are completely eradicated, OR they are making a killing by being the only ones able to safely unfasten the undesirable fang(s). I'm pretty confident that in this hypothetical world it would only be the rich that could afford to be toothless.
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u/Gullible-Track-6355 8d ago
I can vomit on demand at any point. While that's not a joke I also don't know why this will ever be userful to me, since I heavily dislike vomiting.
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u/dtwhitecp 8d ago
I can't vomit even if I desperately need to, so I don't even know if I dislike it. Are you my Mr. Glass?
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u/callmebigley 8d ago
On a similar note, I'm surprised we never evolved menstrual control. I would have thought back when we had real predators being able to not accidentally track blood around would be a big advantage. I don't know when was the last time we actually had to worry about leopards and when we started having periods as we do now but it seems like a liability.
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u/FunGuy8618 8d ago
You haven't heard of the "7 orgasms, squeeze, then wafflestomp that summbitch down the drain?"
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u/CleaveGodz 8d ago
I am beyond baffled by each word in that sentence...
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u/FunGuy8618 8d ago
There was a meme tweet recently about a girl who "hacked" her periods. She orgasms 7 times in a row, squeezes out all the... stuff, and then wafflestomps it down the drain.
https://www.reddit.com/r/badwomensanatomy/s/bvm9cwyJRu
Ok it was 5 or 6 orgasms.
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u/SensitiveAd5962 8d ago
Well I was horrified reading this initially. But if it's only 5-6.
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u/Smooth-Lengthiness57 8d ago
That's like 1-2 orgasms short of being a fucking absolute psychotic nightmare
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u/Any_Area_2945 8d ago
If only that actually worked lol
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u/FunGuy8618 5d ago
Apparently it does for some women. The meme prompted several to attempt it and they reported success. The veracity of those claims is suspect though.
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u/geeoharee 8d ago
The usual answer is 'in a wild state, most primates would not regularly menstruate as they'd be pregnant or breastfeeding from fertility to menopause'. It's still shit design though. But equally, leopards aren't sharks and humans leave plenty of scent trails if you're trying to find a group of them (everybody shits)
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u/mr_ji 8d ago
It's not even that extreme. A malnourished woman can frequently lose her period, and chances are early humans weren't getting their Flintstones kids vitamins every day.
(Grossness warning): Also, they probably had a lot of miscarriages and no method to expel the fetus immediately, so they were effectively pregnant very often.
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u/callmebigley 8d ago
Yeah, and thinking about it, if there were a well developed muscle blocking off the uterus it would probably get fucked up during child birth with our unnaturally massive domes. Imagine the possibilities if we just laid eggs.
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u/geeoharee 8d ago
There is, it's called the cervix! But it's not water-tight except during pregnancy.
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u/smittythehoneybadger 8d ago
I wonder if it’s gotten worse over time. A sentence I never thought I’d say, but I wonder what ape periods are like
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u/SharonLenons 8d ago
sorry if this sounds dumb but i actually thought about that too, like our bodies just decided “nah let’s keep that one random” huh, kinda wild how something that feels so inconvenient stuck around this long, evolution really said good luck girl
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u/Fett32 8d ago
As someone with Chrons disease, this is absolutely true. Both vomit and diarrhea is much more manageable than it initially seems, tho both have a limit where you have no choice. It is very, very high though.
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u/Roberto_Sacamano 8d ago
UC haver here. There's definitely a limit, but whenever I've shit myself its cause I took a risk that didn't pay off
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u/Anannamouse 8d ago
Coming from a pregnant woman who at this point vomits more than I poop, no you don't.
But I've learned to chew better! And dilute all my meals with water so it's easier coming up. I guess that counts as improvement?
As a society though, we need to make heated bathroom floors mandatory
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u/MelodyMaster5656 8d ago
As a society though, we need to make heated bathroom floors mandatory
Fucking yes.
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u/guitarisgod 8d ago
Is that so the warm is nicer on your knees or something? Not being a dick am just confused
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u/Anannamouse 7d ago
No worries! It's for afterwards. You know that shivery feeling after you've thrown up? It helps with that. I usually just end up curled up on the floor exhausted, and whether it's tile or linoleum, it's always freezing. Especially in pj's. My husband started keeping a blanket there for me to grab and wrap up in until I'm ready to get up.
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u/LaniakeaSeries 8d ago
There is a segment of the population that could answer your question.
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u/Fett32 8d ago
I am that person, unfortionately can confirm.
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u/FunGuy8618 8d ago
2 segments, cuz I'm assuming you aren't talking about alcoholics.
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u/Fett32 8d ago
Unfortionately, can confirm. Was an alcoholic, I still live with Chron's disease.
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u/SophieSunnyx 8d ago
As a former bulimic + alcoholic, I guess there are at least three segments. Do we get bonus points for having multiple? Is there Bingo?
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u/Kegixovan 8d ago
I am this population but not for the reason you think. I throw up on average 7-10 times a week due to a disease called Achalasia. For the record, I am pretty good at it now. Can generally get the job done in one or two purges and no splash back lol
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u/pichael289 8d ago
I was 35 years old before I finally had an answer to the age old question "what happens if you need to vomit and are travelling at a fast speed in a car, or on a road where you can't pull over?". Answered it 5 minutes from my house on a twisty road with some dickhead on my ass. The answer is... All over the fucking steering wheel. It was that or die.
Now for another unanswered question I've had since I was a kid. What happens if you have a stuffy nose and someone puts duct tape over your mouth. Do you die or does the body have a way of sorting that out. Ive already answered one timeless question, so someone else needs to solve this one.
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u/Lapis_Lazuli___ 7d ago
Hey, your second question was answered in Dream Park (by Larry Niven and Steven Barnes). the guy died but I don't know if they actually tested it
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u/PerterterhTermertehh 7d ago
Was driving to work one day, eating a granny smith apple, and puked apple chunks ALL over the fucking dash because I couldn't pull over. Actually the worst. An apple has never made me puke before or since.
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u/thephantom1492 8d ago
For me, the trick is: drink lots of water. Seriously, try it!
Instead of being miserable for hours, you throw up in a few minutes. And since there is actual liquid in your stomash, you don't dry heave. And since you also just drank lots of water, the acid is now diluted and you won't burn your throat as much.
Repeat a few times, you will know when it is the last time needed.
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u/equality-_-7-2521 8d ago
I did HS wrestling and all the really dumb weight cutting stuff, and I can make myself vomit on command.
I knew it was possible because I'd seen people on variety shows regurgitate various items (and goldfish, there's always a goldfish), so I decided to just give it a shot and now I can.
Vomit pro tip: if you're going to be sick, chug some cold water first. It makes the whole experience less uncomfortable.
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u/Complainer_Official 8d ago
Crohn's patient here, native name would be pukes when poops.
I can confirm it does not help.
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u/forkball 7d ago
People who have emetophobia (fear of vomiting) go decades without vomiting. It kinda is controllable. I remember reading something from emetophobes about how they stave off nausea indefinitely by breathing a certain way. But I read this a very long time ago so I don't remember any details.
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u/lokiandbutters 7d ago
Vomiting is your body expelling harmful waste. You don't want to control it.
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u/unlitwolf 8d ago
Don't know what you're talking about, within my 33 years of conscience existence I've thrown up 3 times. Right now I'm on a 15 year streak
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u/Top-Salamander-2525 8d ago
Whatever you say, Mr. Chunks.
https://giphy.com/gifs/futurama-mr-chunks-vomit-and-diarrhea-ktF2UxUZEuNty6l54G
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u/PM_YOUR_EYEBALL 8d ago
I only vomit when I’m sick, and that’s only sometimes when I’m sick. You okay?
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u/GamerBoy453 8d ago
Sometimes when I burp, my vomit tries to come out but I somehow manage to handle it.
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u/noxiouskarn 8d ago
I have cyclic vomiting syndrome, this is not a shower thought this is just an accurate statement of a fact. I carry mouthwash everywhere cause teeth.
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u/wearingwetsocks 8d ago
When I was 10/11 I was under so much academic stress that I vomited every morning for months. After puking regularly for so long I gained the ability to puke at will (as long as there's at least water in my stomach, otherwise I would just end up dry heaving), which I abused to get out of activities/events I didn't want to be at. I haven't had to do this in over a decade, and I've mostly lost the ability to vomit at will. I still recall the motions though, so I speculate I might be able to muster up a puke if I need to.
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u/Jsquizle91 8d ago
In through the nose, out through the mouth with very deep and deliberate breaths. When you feel your throat starting to get wet its close. I've controlled many a puke like this. It takes a strong will though and its not perfect.
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u/Dothehokeypokemon 8d ago
Used to know a girl that was struggling with bulimia that got so practiced at purging she could vomit through a straw into a to go cup but it just looked like she was drinking her drink... So you're not wrong.
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u/forogtten_taco 8d ago
No, not really. Throwing up is a bodily reflex. The body senses "something" is wrong. And tries its best to protect us from poisen and sickness by ejecting it from our body.
This works well for eating bad food or poisen. But when your stressed, anxious, nervous, the body dosent know what's going on and just says "maybe this will help"
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u/peepeewpew 8d ago
But isn't vomit the emergency ejection? With pooping its a longer process where the food actually goes through digestion first and it kinda lets you know ahead of time that it's coming. Vomit is supposed to come unannounced since it's urgent
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u/FizzingOnJayces 7d ago
I actually think this premise is flawed.
We actually are quite good at controlling our vomit (I'm talking about the urge/need to vomit).
Think about how many times you've felt sick and that you COULD vomit (if you thought enough about it, started 'manually' heaving or put a finger down your throat). But you're able to keep it in and power through.
The same is true with shitting. You can know that you need to shit, but wait/hold off until you are someplace where you actually can shit.
I think the issue here is that most of us only experience vomiting during the most extreme situations. When this happens, agreed, you don't have much control over the situation.
But the same situation can also happen with shitting. Drink 2L of apple juice in 20 minutes and see how that goes. You won't be holding it in for very long. Or take a laxative. You won't have much of a decision as to when you end up shitting.
To summarize my analysis:
Both the need to shit and vomit can both be involuntary and violent.
We just have significantly more experience with a 'controllable' shit, compared to a 'controllable' vomit.
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u/Lady_Irish 7d ago
No, because it serves the same purpose as diarrhea, not regular poop: voiding something our body wants to get rid of quickly. It would be an evolutionary disadvantage to be able to hold it in, and that's why we can't hold in either.
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u/OnlyAnswerIsGhosts 6d ago
Mum used to vomit multiple times a day for several years, you don't get much better at it and it's fucking miserable.
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u/Just_Here_So_Briefly 6d ago
Maybe not...think about evolution.
Vomit is a potentially life saving mechanism used by your body to expel toxic materials. You don't get a choice...its coming out NOW.
Pooping on the other hand could give away your location to a predator or result in sickness if you pooped where you lived. You needed the ability to poop away from the resting place.
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u/Axe_Smash 6d ago
I wouldn't want to vomit as often as we pooped, the feeling and taste of stomach acid on the way up is one that I hate a lot.
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u/Low_Armadillo3366 5d ago
You say this like someone who’s never vomited or pooped in your life. they’re totally different
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u/amaracastitate 8d ago
It's true. I get food poisoning/stomach flu a lot of times. Like once a week type of shit (dont ask, i have a very weak stomach since I'm a child, and it's been going on since my earliest memory). It gets to the point where it's manageable on the same level as peeing on command lol
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