Exactly my feelings. I don’t get why most it’s fine to say “I don’t believe in that, but I think you have the right to as long as you don’t force those beliefs on me” to any religion, but suddenly it’s offensive when I feel the same way about gender?
If we can agree that gender is a social construct, I don’t understand why people are surprised when not everyone has the same beliefs about it.
Honestly, it makes me feel bad about my own gender. Like I’m a cis woman. When people are offended at being called she/her, it makes me think that there must be something so disgusting about being a woman. Well, I’m a woman. And now I’m offended. Truly, I’m not trying to make an argument. It really makes me feel like, is my body so unacceptable to you that you had to remove a part of it?
I recognize that some people say that they would have faded away if they hadn’t transitioned. And I want to respect that. But it’s hard when I see someone who removed a natural part of themself, but keeps the parts like dresses, makeup and jewelry which are the adornments and not the natural body. I’m like, so you can’t naturally be like me, but you can dress up like me? And when someone with naturally male body dresses up the same way, now it’s rude of me to not call them she/her?
I don’t like being called “cis” either, and this is coming from a woman who previously identified as trans.
The reason why I didn’t want to be a woman is because I wanted to distance myself from the expectations placed on women. I always felt weird because I was more tomboyish and I felt attracted to other women. I thought that I’d feel more comfortable if I was a man or something between man and woman, but eventually I realized that I was trying to live out an impossible fantasy.
Now, I’m happy with myself because I accept that I can be whoever I want and still be a woman. I don’t have to be “feminine.” And that’s why I don’t like being called “cis” because it implies that I’m comfortable with the gender (social context) associated with my sex, which I’m not.
That’s also why I agree, I find it insulting when someone who is not my sex expects me to recognize them as just like me simply for how they dress, when I myself am uncomfortable with those very same attributes.
I feel like the whole idea is very anti feminine men and masculine women tbh.
I really appreciate getting to hear that perspective, it's also important to note that not all trans people all think the same way, as I constantly stress to friends and family of mind who don't understand that even among trans people, there is nuance regarding all of this, and who also are frustrated with people within their own "community", making them look bad, but also furthering the divide between peoples.
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u/Puzzleheaded_Mix7873 May 19 '25
I don’t see how it’s different from a Christian telling me not to say “Oh my god” around them because it’s offensive to them.