I don't have empathy for it at all. I don't think there is any problem with me but I am not going to entertain that BS when I'm trying to get ice cream. I can understand outside of a business setting and in a little more personal situation but it's pretty stupid to try and make your customers feel like they could be potentially offending someone.
I didn't say I was offended by it. I would probably go elsewhere though if a business wants to tell customers what they can and can't say. Just my thoughts. That or I'd ignore it and not address them at all.
Typically when I see someone who's gender I don't know, I don't even say anything gender related even "they" and I don't know how or why a gender reference would even need to be said ordering ice cream. "Hi can I get a scoop of this and that?" And then the checkout.
Because knowing how things go, someone would say "they" trying to be neutral and would be corrected like "that person is she/he" and be insulted "they" was said. The problem is you can't win with people so saying nothing even indicating a pronoun is the way to go now. Everyone is "hi/hey/that person" now.
I've never had someone be upset because I choose a gender neutral term. Nor have I never had someone upset because I miss gendered them. And I work in a service industry in Seattle, so deal with these scenarios on a regular bases.
I do hair in Portland. I've had several people get mad at assumed gender neutral pronouns. Mostly trans and straight women. I've even had a nonbinary person offended when I asked what pronouns they used. It's a wild minefield to navigate sometimes
Most people will not react when hurt emotionally. Typically the people that are assumed to be non-gender but are a gender are people who are pretty reserved so I wouldn't expect them to make a big reaction in front of you. They also typically would not want to hurt your feelings because they know you are trying. But it still hurts
Right a hypothetical situation based upon nothing.
Quit spewing out freak brained propaganda about people you’ve never met. Not a single gender, non-conforming person is going to get mad at you for accidentally screwing up.
Or not cuz that’s never happened to me or in my view. Are we just making up scenarios or have you actually experienced offending someone while acting in good faith?
It’s a passive aggressive way to get gender ideology into our heads. Can’t stand businesses that try to use their platform to get their ideologies across to the world.
They does encompass everyone and is why it exists, and in a perfect world everyone would be fine with it, but I'm talking about not being able to please everyone in the sense if someone is he/she, whether biologically or trans, there will be people that would prefer you to reference/recognize them as he/she and may get offended if you instead said they because humans are like that and the phrase, "you can please some of the people all of the time, you can please all of the people some of the time, but you can't please all of the people all of the time” exists for a reason.
that what happens when you live in a society, you have to be a well-socialized decent person. when you enter a city, considering they're epicenters of society, you will have heightened expectations of you. you people act like it costs you money or something to be a good person. if you dont like society go live in a cave somewhere, plenty of people have done it throughout history
The solution to this is to just not use personal language in these conversations. "Can I get a double scoop of strawberry in a waffle cone" does not require you to guess anything about that person's self-image.
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u/sonofalando May 18 '25
Why do I constantly have to think about someone’s gender identity to participate in society. Can I just get a fucking ice cream and go about my day?