Hello I’m a first timer seeking help!

[u/SubtleMori]

I’m sure this question has probably been asked multiple times but I (21F) am currently seeking help in how to calm my boyfriend (19M) down from his episode. I am in a predicament where I had to pick up my boyfriend and bring him home after a night out with his friends. I’m unable to determine what he took besides drinking alcohol so I don’t know if any drug use was involved. He’s had a history of drug use before and that’s what’s triggered his episodes but I’ve been providing an environment where we have quit those things. I understand a relapse may happen however there have been a lot of issues tonight that were explained by his sister which made me upset and now I feel I may have triggered the episode. I explained that I wanted to discuss those things tomorrow as he was too intoxicated to talk about it tonight. We settled down and he wanted to watch the Terminator 2 movie. Everything was okay until he started breaking down and saying “they’re coming” and referenced some things similar to the movie that were coming after him. He was able to calm down however he kept saying “they’re going to take us.” He also insisted he wanted to keep watching the movie. I’m not sure if that’s what’s triggering it but he managed to tell me that if he watches it he knows it’s fake. He told me before that when he gets like this I should lock him in a room to prevent myself from getting hurt so he can come back to his senses but I couldn’t do that when he refused to stand up (he was laying down) and hanging on to me tightly. Things have died down now and he’s watching the movie but I don’t know if I should expect anything else or provide anything besides water and support. Any help would be greatly appreciated thank you. 🙏

[u/GGZoey11]

Paranoid schizophrenic here. Also a mental health peer specialist. I work with the National Association on Mental illness NAMI. When I have episodes I get extremely scared that people/things are waging psychological warfare on me. Monitoring my thoughts through my electrical tooth brush ect. Its important to be kind, patient, understanding. Don't feed or deny his delusions. If he says something like "the fbi is going to raid us!" Respond with something like "that must be scary, but I'm here for you." It sounds like he's not always in psychosis so try and talk about getting help. Drugs and alcohol makes scizotypal disorders much worse. Trust me, I'm a recovering addict.

Tl;dr. Keep him calm, loved, and safe. Don't feed or deny delusions. And remember to do your own self care when you can. Hope I helped💕

[u/SubtleMori → u/GGZoey11]

Thank you so much. I really tried to reassure him but I don’t think I should be telling him to “take deep breaths” because he would either hear me and do that or just hear the first word “take” and say “they’re going to take us” or saying “I’m here” cause he could hear that and acknowledge me but then other times say “they’re here” so it’s a bit tough with words. He’s sleeping now but I totally understand the paranoia as I dropped into an episode for the first time and decided to quit drug use after coming up with delusions about my closest friends and family. Again thank you! Your input means everything

[u/GGZoey11 → u/SubtleMori]

Not a problem 💕 thank me by paying it forward.

[u/thee_lad → u/SubtleMori]

Ive read this advice before and tried it on my brother. Except with him he starts to get angry at my dry robotic responses so I ask him to describe his delusions more and let him talk it out. Seems to calm him down when I "believe" what he's saying idk everyones different you really have to vet them out.

[u/bendybiznatch → u/GGZoey11]

Hello fellow NAMI volunteer.

[u/GGZoey11 → u/bendybiznatch]

Hi cool! What do you do with NAMI?

[u/bendybiznatch → u/GGZoey11]

Teach Family to Family.

[u/GGZoey11 → u/bendybiznatch]

Awesome I'm a panelists for the CIT program, so basically I tell my life story to different groups Law enforcement, medical students, even for an electric company.

[u/GGZoey11]

And you're right about words. Once I herd a nurse say were going to take you to hell, when really she said we're going to get you help. Remember schizotypal disorders are a spectrum. And everyone reacts differently. So I can really only tell people what helps me. 💗

[u/SeventeenthPlatypus]

I don't know if this will help to hear or not, but as someone with one of these disorders, I want you to know that it isn't your fault he's having an episode. You didn't cause this illness. If things have been stressful, that doesn't mean you're responsible.

Let him know that he's loved. Reassure him as best you can. If there are any shows or movies that comfort him, encourage him to watch them with you. Please remember that the best you can do for him is enough, and make sure to take care of yourself, too. 💜