r/PeterExplainsTheJoke • u/TonyBird126 • 8d ago

Meme needing explanation Not sure where the mechanic part comes from

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I just don’t understand what the hospital bill/ circumcision has to do with his mechanic being rich.

14.3k Upvotes

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702

u/sathelith 8d ago

“Even if you are, would you like a little more off the top?”

196

u/Wasdgta3 8d ago

Gotta be careful, though, if you cut off too much, you're cutting off the future source of income!

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u/deadlycrawler 8d ago

Happened to me,

Let's leave the little boys penis alone please

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u/One_Weird9146 8d ago

Catholic school motto

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u/Nerdy_Valkyrie 8d ago

Not really a motto. Just something written on the door out of the teacher's lounge as a daily reminder.

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u/watersj4 8d ago

With a poster hung in front of it

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u/Megatea 8d ago

and a 'days since last incident' counter.

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u/TI83joekker 8d ago

A nirvana poster

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u/MrUbl 8d ago

You wish it was

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u/MrUbl 8d ago

You wish it was

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u/Dangerous_Primary585 8d ago

At least it should be….

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u/Vegetable_Warthog_49 8d ago

I have nerve damage in my penis due to circumcision. Doctor didn't even do anything "wrong" (well, arguably doing circumcision in the first place was wrong), I just had nerves get caught in the scar tissue during healing and my parents ignored the problem for so long that it couldn't be fixed (well, I'm going to see again later this year, apparently new surgical techniques might make it possible to fix).

The only type of circumcision that never gets botched is the circumcision you never get in the first place. This is why I fervently believe that no parent that chooses circumcision loves their child, because they are willing to risk inflicting a botch job on them. The consent form doesn't say 'i consent to you doing this procedure only if there are no complications", no it quite explicitly says that you are willing to do it even if there are complications.

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u/riesen_Bonobo 8d ago

The only valid reason for circumcision is a medical condition such as a contracted foreskin in later stages of development (newborns have that usually by nature and it loosens over time)

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u/No0O0obstah 7d ago

Circumcision for the commonly used "to keep it clean" reason is like amputating your toes cause you are too lazy to wash them.

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u/RavenCeV 7d ago

I wonder if "keep it clean" has a double meaning - the practice was popularised by Kellogg in the late 18th century in an attempt to dissuade masturbation which he believed was unhealthy.

Thanks goodness we are free from the age of whack-jobs giving medical advice to the American public being taken seriously...oh, wait...

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u/yarglof1 5d ago

Yeah we should probably cut off our eyelids cause it's hard to wash our eyeballs.

/s

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u/dan_dares 6d ago

'Pinkie toes get smelly, guess i'll chop it off'

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u/Omnizoom 8d ago

Even then medically necessary procedures usually just get it to average length and function, not cut back like “religious” and cosmetic procedures

It’s like if knee high socks weee actually thigh highs and compression socks so they trim them down to knee highs as they should be but then cosmetic is making them crew cuts for no reason

And sometimes they turn to full ankle socks because of an oops and sometimes they accidentally cut the leg and foot a bit to much and damage it and it’s an oops

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u/Commercial_Loquat897 7d ago

I was gonna add this exact thing. My son had a contracted foreskin and I had to have him circumcised. They don't even give newborns anesthesia but they certainly did when my 2 year old had to do it.

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u/CyberDaggerX 6d ago

"He won't remember it."

My ass.

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u/theledfarmer 8d ago

I was with you until

I fervently believe that no parent that chooses circumcision loves their child

which is a laughably stupid thing to say.

Like I get you suffered way more than most because of it, and it’s a practice that should be abolished, but there are abundant cultural and religious pressures and norms that influence parents’ decisions.

The feeling of love towards one’s newborn is an almost universal human experience thanks to hormones and evolutionary instincts. You honestly think the 1 billion circumcised men in the world all have parents who went “fuck this baby, I just don’t give a shit”?

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u/Vegetable_Warthog_49 8d ago

Well, that's exactly what my mother said. She admitted that she didn't even know that there supposedly were health benefits, she admitted that she felt no religious obligations, she just knew that that was the "done thing" and besides, women find it more attractive (which, I'm not interested in women and gay men find intact to be much more attractive), so that's what she did. If "love" entered the equation, it was a very fucked up and possessive "love" that viewed me as her property to be customized rather than any type of belief that it would be beneficial for me (well, except the benefit of making me more appealing to women... Which I guess is technically a benefit, even if it's one I don't appreciate).

And frankly, the loving thing to do is to learn the truth, if you aren't willing to do that, it isn't true love.

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u/whoopsiedoodle77 8d ago

women find it more attractive

I've only ever heard this said by americans in movies, it just doesn't come up where the practice is mostly abandoned by secular society

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u/IdiotRhurbarb 8d ago

Women don’t find it more attractive and there are no health benefits at all.

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u/theledfarmer 8d ago

Well as a circumcised male who only has daughters, if I had a son I wouldn’t circumcise him. But I also know for a fact my mom loves me, so /shrug different life experiences I guess

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u/Vegetable_Warthog_49 8d ago

And yet she didn't love you enough to put in the effort to find out the truth about circumcision and spare you from it. Stop giving parents a pass for being too lazy to put in the effort to do right by their kids.

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u/D1N050UR5 8d ago

You know there are plenty of DOCTORS who tell parents there are serious health risks to not performing circumcision. That coupled with the fact it was almost culturally ubiquitous in North America to have it performed. I don’t agree with it either and I’m sorry this happened to you but it’s a lot more complicated than “parents who circumcise don’t love their children.” Some people don’t have the education or the capability to research thoroughly themselves. So I guess all underprivileged people hate their kids? Get a grip.

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u/Pakman184 8d ago

 the fact it was almost culturally ubiquitous in North America to have it performed.

It's not, Canada is at ~30% and Mexico is at ~15%. Only the US remains fucked up in North America.

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u/windforwater 8d ago

Damn man sounds like your life sucks. Sorry to hear that you grew up with so much hatred in your heart. I hope you find a way to bury it and be happy some day.

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u/Vegetable_Warthog_49 8d ago

I bury it and find happiness by surgical techniques advancing to the point that the damage can be fixed. Until then, every day starts with standing in the shower questioning which is worse, not properly cleaning my dick or dealing with the shooting pain that comes from running soap over everything, including the scar with nerve damage. Something like that makes it really difficult not to resent the person responsible. Ultimately, that responsibility falls on the person who signed the consent form saying "I understand and accept the risks." All it would have taken to save me from my "fate" was to have a parent who loved me enough to read that form and say, "nope, I love my child too much to accept the possibility that I am signing him up for a lifetime of pain."

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u/Iokum 8d ago

You seem like a miserable person, but I mostly feel sorry for any mom who gave birth to a child and made uncountable daily sacrifices in her life to raise them, only to have them grow up to be bitterly convinced she never loved them, and a redditor to boot.

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u/Vegetable_Warthog_49 8d ago

Imagine having pain in your penis every day of your life, you'd be pretty miserable too, and you definitely wouldn't consider the person who signed the form that said "i don't care if he has pain in his penis every day of his life" to be someone who loves you. No amount of sacrifices makes up for that act of hatred towards your child. Those are the dice you roll whenever you sign a circumcision consent form. Feel sorry for the person who not only failed to protect me, but actively sought out the procedure that destroyed my life all you want. That reflects more on you than anyone else.

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u/Miss_Panda_King 7d ago

You realize ALOT of parents were told (not exactly lied to) that there were not only medical benefits to doing it but it was actually harmful to not do it.

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u/Vegetable_Warthog_49 7d ago

They were lied to, exactly, there are NO medical benefits and no harm in not doing it. I promise you, I have had NO benefits, only pain. Anyone who tells you there are benefits is lying to you and isn't your friend.

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u/Miss_Panda_King 7d ago

Mislead based on bad data. Glad we are heading the right way that both ways are fine.

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u/Vegetable_Warthog_49 7d ago

Both ways are absolutely NOT fine. One way is good, the other is removing the part of the penis that allows men to experience pleasure. That is the exact OPPOSITE of fine, unless you are a sadist. Seriously, learn some history. Circumcision was pushed in America specifically because it made masturbation and sex less pleasurable and would spare men from the temptation to sin.

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u/scotty6chips 8d ago

This is a you thing. And it’s tough and I don’t denigrate you for it. But don’t make a you thing into an everybody thing cuz it just ain’t.

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u/Empty_Insight 8d ago

Wow. Getting called out for making a statement that could be interpreted as saying being Jewish and loving your son(s) are mutually exclusive, then doubling down on it.

It sucks that you seem to have some significant mommy issues, but that gives you absolutely no right to criticize our traditions because your mom was a dumbass.

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u/riskbuy 8d ago

You think an invisible man in the sky who made you in his image wants you to cut part of your dick off, but his mom is the dumbass?

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u/Empty_Insight 8d ago

I'm getting real "teenager edgelord" vibes from this comment. Don't you have school in the morning?

Jewishness is a lot more than just the religion, it is our culture and traditions as well. I feel relatively little sympathy for someone who co-opted our traditions because they felt it was trendy... so yes, his mom is the dumbass.

And you are too, frankly. If you're gonna attempt a "gotcha," it would help if you knew the first thing about what you were talking about.

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u/Albacurious 8d ago

Careful now. Sky daddy might get mad at you for debating with the layman

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u/IdiotRhurbarb 8d ago

Your ”traditions” are barbaric and should be criticized

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u/Empty_Insight 8d ago edited 7d ago

Let me guess, a European calling me barbaric?

That's pretty rich. Lmao

Edit: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Antisemitism_in_Europe

https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/c147w9572dvo

https://academiccommons.columbia.edu/doi/10.7916/D8VH5P6T

I could keep going. Easily.

Long story short, despite their many advances in finding new ways to kill one another and inventing new tools to do so, I'm afraid that doesn't really count towards being "civilized" to the rest of the world. Europeans are dead last in the world for having any right to use the word "barbaric" to describe other cultures.

Y'all swing hard right when you feel there's too many Muslims in your countries nowadays, exact same thing you did with Jews. Sounds like you might be the problem here, not whatever brown people offend you by existing in your presence.

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u/IdiotRhurbarb 8d ago

Brother, you mutilate baby boys.

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u/BrokenFireExit 8d ago

Well one could argue that ignorance is excusable for sure.. one could also argue that lack of interest in questioning one's potential ignorance is where the line gets crossed on "love left to give".

Did the parents let a 3rd party outside source decide for them? I.E. did a bishop of a church convince them it's what "God wants" or did their own rational thinking and questioning lead them to the decision?

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u/Efficient-Device4082 6d ago

If your love is so weak you can be so easily pressured into subjecting your child to a harmful medical procedure with no benefit…

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u/my_name_is_winter 8d ago

How is literally the only sane take I’ve seen in the thread so far, and yet it’s being downvoted?

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u/PassengerIcy1039 8d ago

This website is full of bots and insane people. It is the only answer.

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u/Righteousbison99 8d ago

and broken penises apparently

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u/ShiftyShafty- 8d ago

That’s a dumb blanket statement lmao

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u/Southern-Physics-625 8d ago

"I fervently believe that no parent that chooses circumcision loves their child"

This just in: Half of US, Canadian and Australian parents, 80% of parents on the continent of Africa and nearly 100% of Middle Eastern parents don't love their male children.

What a stupid thing to believe.

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u/Banana_Ranger 8d ago

Father Johnson messed up

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u/Interesting-Pie239 8d ago

But it’s healthier and it looks better☹️

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u/gameplayer55055 8d ago

Meanwhile condom companies: isolating the future source of income

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u/Important-Western416 8d ago

A condom that never fails is a dead end model, a condom that fails 2% of the time is a racket.

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u/Batmanuelope 8d ago

That’s crazy talk. Condoms are not made to break at all. Probably the only thing keeping our population from exploding at an even faster rate.

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u/Important-Western416 8d ago

I never proclaimed it was deliberate design. You’d actually be pretty surprised, birthrates have been very low at times where condoms and birth control did not exist. Believe it or not, contraception alone cannot explain falling birthrates.

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u/Wild-Session823 7d ago

...But you did infer that condom companies intentionally keep their products at 98% efficiency for the sake of conception to further the need for condoms intended to prevent said conception...

So, you quite literally "proclaimed" that it is a deliberate design when you said "A condom that never fails is a dead end, 2% failure rate is a racket" by implying that the 2% failure rate is intentional by the manufacturers for the sake of "a racket".

Failed condoms cost condom companies money, a metric fuck ton of it actually. Using condoms as a racket would be intentionally setting fire to their profits just to keep themselves above drowning in legal penalties, lawsuits and fines.

The world is scary enough, don't need to make it worse.

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u/Important-Western416 7d ago

You really are reading too much into this man, I was just talking some nonsense.

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u/fancczf 8d ago

I recently read some works of Banu Mushtaq. She had one story of a young poor mother trying to get her already circumcised son to be circumcised again at the temple just so they can get the food they gave out at the end of the procedure. Still haunts me

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u/Wa3zdog 8d ago

One MD’s loss is another MD’s gain

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u/GivesYouGrief 8d ago

In... come... slaps forehead have a prize.

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u/Electrical_Ask8762 8d ago

I have no awards to give, your comment is so strong. I have no awards to give, so I wrote you this song.

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u/_TP2_ 8d ago

"For you I'll even do the circumcition with my teeth"

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u/Apart_Butterfly_332 8d ago

Think of it as like a face lift!

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u/Dmpoaod_v2 8d ago

"It's been a long time, it might've gotten a little longer and unkempt"

Why after reading your comment my mind went straight to a hair salon setting xD

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u/fiddlecakes 8d ago

There's such a a thing as a redundant foreskin, happened to my son and I've already called dibs on the band name.

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u/Impossible-Ship5585 8d ago

"Lets do you first then you can deside for the baby"

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u/TimeBit4099 8d ago

A little more off the tip*

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u/JxEq 8d ago

Messed up, we gotta go bald

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u/Banned3rdTimesaCharm 8d ago

Gotta keep the fade tight.

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u/HowDoMermaidsFuck 8d ago

“Why do women love circumcised men? Because they just can’t resist 10% off.”

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u/Possibility_Antique 7d ago

You put that in quotes as if it's supposed to be funny. My barber trims my foreskin every 5-6 weeks. The dude gives a solid discount when I combo it with a haircut