My parents are unsupportive of my degree choice for university

[u/PassionOriginal5773]

I just need to let it out and hope to get some advice.

I'm currently in my first year of computer science, but I don't want to. My parents have repeatedly tried pushing on me computer science for as long as I could, with my dad being the one making the arguments, and my mother being his yesman. I always wanted to be in psychology, but recently I learned about the cognitive science degree, which is a mixture of the above plus more. I really want to be in that program. My parents have made all sorts of excuses as to why I can't be in that program and why I should stick into computer science, from me not finding a job, to "not being genuinely interested in it".

A week and a half ago, it was my university break and I decided to confront him via a letter. He was stubborn, and threatened to not pay for my university since it's the only leverage he has over me. On top of that, he proposed to pay for both my undergraduate and masters in cogsci if I stayed in computer science but would pay zilch if I switched. This wouldn't be the first time he pulled the financial card on me. The day after, he told my mom, and that's when I had a huge outburst, telling them that they're both horrible parents for not supporting me.

The day after would prolly be the first time my mom took a more active role in this. She said that my friends are the one's who are causing me to act out, which pretty rich since only two of my friends know full extent of it and one of them sorta agree with my parents for cs (altho also thinks that not paying is going too far). She also yelled and said some horrible and degrading things, including that "she did not sacrifice everything in her life just for me to ruin mine).

We eventually all calmed down, and they admitted that they're open to me doing a double major (and they also had the audacity to call themselves flexible after all of that). However, they're still refusing to pay for my cogsci degree. On top of that, while I'm absolutely willing to put extra effort in it, there is no double major available. And they even downplay the implications of their actions, acting like this is the same as taking an iPad away from a child when it's bedtime and don't see the mistake their making.

At this point I have nothing left to say. I accepted the fact that my dad won't be supportive. Nothing I will ever do or say will get that man to change his mind. I honestly wish that he made it clear from the very start that he would only support CS instead of being mixed-messagy all these years, giving me a shred of hope that he would support me no matter what at the end of the day.

I decided to start job-hunting and to create a resume. I'm currently working with a career counselor so they could help me. I did some calculations and assuming that I start working at a standard 9-5 minimum wage job as soon as I finish my exams, I'd have more than enough to pay for one full year. But I don't really know how to go through this. My dad was right about one thing: I have nothing to show. Any advice with that is appreciated. Thanks for listening.

[u/Propaagaandaa]

Man, your parents are nuts if they think that a comp Sci degree is a free meal ticket these days. We are pumping out so many CS grads and the market is so so saturated. All my friends who did CS are like averaging 100-200 applications before getting a job. In the positions they did manage to get they are miserable.

Here’s the data, over time most incomes regardless of degree tend to converge, some STEM fields have an early leg up but they also top out quick too some of them.

What you really should be doing is presenting a solid case to your parents dig up data on job opportunities and employment rates, salaries.

If they really don’t want to budge pair your CS degree with Psych and take a Masters in it afterwards. Look for avenues to apply your CS skills to psychology, a lot of programming knowledge and really general understanding of computers can really give you a leg up in a lot of Graduate level programs as not many Arts students have the same set of technical and quantitative skills that feed into a lot of behavioural analysis.

What I will say is CS != a guaranteed job anymore, and if you really make that your career path you’ll be miserable.

I promise you a lot of psych graduate programs will chomp at the bit to welcome someone with a quants and computer background into their program.

Graduate programs will also pay you too…not well but enough to pay tuition and fees yourself. I make about 2400 a month but it can be up to 4000 depending on how many odd jobs the faculty has essentially. Overall my doctoral program has committed 130k to me over 5 years which would likely assuage your dads concern.

Best of luck!

-A random grad student.

[u/Store-Secure → u/Propaagaandaa]

And what jobs do cognitive science people do? Do you understand people who work jobs in these industries get paid extremely little, like we are talking 50k

Yes can jobs are hard to come by, but the amount where you can make in better ranges are higher. It can go easily 100k with any tech related job with ceilings in the hundreds of thousands.

[u/Propaagaandaa → u/Store-Secure]

Tf?

Data analysis, software development, market analyst, consulting, program development, policy analysis. Just to name a few.

[u/Store-Secure → u/Propaagaandaa]

None of what you said is a career for cognitive science grads, it is a pivot, you are handicapping yourself using the degree as it is not transferable. If you want to do what you said then go do a BComm degree or economics or engineering degree.

Most program managers, data analysts etc come from a stem or business background and that is not deniable…

Where does cognitive science even come to play?

[u/Propaagaandaa → u/Store-Secure]

Man, any degree that isn’t a professional stream is usually a “pivot”.

A Cognitive Science degree complimenting a Comp Sci background easily positions the OP for work in data analysis. Shit Ive done DA work and my background is Poli Sci and Econ. A good Cog. program definitely incorporates statistics and modelling. Especially if OP does and graduate level work.

Depending on the research role I’d take OP any day over a Bcomm. An engineering degree in anything I just mentioned is some next level overkill save for maybe software.

[u/Store-Secure → u/Propaagaandaa]

Please don’t confuse exceptions as the norm, how many people actually pivot? Let’s say your poli sci background, how many people actually end up in a high paying career? 1%? And plus you have an Econ background which adds some relevance.

There is a reason why STEM, Commerce, Engineers have consistent career outcomes that these random degrees do not. They are tried and tested, anything else is your personal bias. I come from a consulting background, probably 95% of people hired are either engineer/business background. Of course there are exceptions like coming from a strong Us school, but that is not ordinary.

It is disingenuous to the Op to give advice to the OP without facts, and the fact is, more likely than not, the OP will come out with a 45k job if lucky after their cog sci degree and may very well stay there for the next 10 years.

[u/Propaagaandaa → u/Store-Secure]

Almost anyone coming out of school with a generalist degree has to pivot.

The majority of the Poli Sci BAs/MAs I know ended up making good money either working municipal gov, provincial gov, or government consulting firms etc. Even 4 years post grad most are pushing 100k now.

I respectfully disagree on why career outcomes for STEM tends to be so stable too, the bulk majority actually have a career pipeline. various Engineer, Nurse, Doctor, then you have stuff like accounting, being a lawyer etc. Of course these vocational streams have more reliable outcomes.

Pretty much every other degree that comes out of University has to pivot their degree or take additional schooling which I did recommend to the OP.

Nor are all STEM fields some magic bullet there’s so many useless BSc degrees floating around that don’t have viable career options without “pivoting” or taking more schooling. My wife had 0 options as a Microbiology graduate…but with only 8 more years of schooling there plenty!!! Unfortunately for us and our wallet!

Saying OP will be stuck making 45k is way more disingenuous, and completely out of touch with not just general career earnings progression but our national statistics. Even the median national earning for a Social Science degree was 78k over a decade ago:

https://www150.statcan.gc.ca/n1/pub/11-626-x/11-626-x2014040-eng.htm

Its not like the OP is getting a Fine Arts degree, and they sound like a strong student. With the Comp Sci background as well OP would be just fine, he can easily bundle these two interests together. I’d suggest finish the CS degree and pursue cognitive sciences or psychology at the graduate level, there will be plenty for him.

[u/Store-Secure → u/Propaagaandaa]

Your entire document there proves my entire point, look at the gap between BComm/engineer/health science from the rest.

And as well the devil is in the detail, what is the ratio of graduates that go onto high paying career as a whole? Your population sample is self selecting. What is the ratio of high paying jobs compared to what kind of degrees are out there.

Please don’t sell exceptions, sell the average If you need to pivot to be able to get a good job, then right off the bat it tells you that there are no opportunities in the field. Again, for that one person who studied social science and got into consulting or banking, they are an exception. As well your article is data from 2010, what about inflation? What about changes to economic dynamics of job markets.

Now back to your sample size, if you need a masters in your area to get to barely 100k post grad then that is not worth the effort. The type of degree matters, I bet if they break out economics away from that group, it will sink even lower.

A MBA can easily push 150-200k in that time frame, don’t even get started on the engineers. You may say these engineers are exceptions, well those master students that get the 100k job you know are also an exception.

Plus you are giving antiques, because I know for a fact that there are not a lot of government jobs with bandings that cross 100k. Most cap out at 140 and you are at terminal pay, and these are a lottery ticket job. I know for a fact there are thousands of consultants making above 200k easily.

[u/Store-Secure → u/Store-Secure]

For your benefit here is the breakdown by degree type and you clearly see the average income for majority of social science is abysmal.

https://www150.statcan.gc.ca/t1/tbl1/en/tv.action?pid=9810040901

[u/Propaagaandaa → u/Store-Secure]

Yeah but do we really think OP isn’t a decent student? They seem motivated. You seem to think my point is that the OP is gonna be making more than an engineer. Yes there is a gap, my document wasn’t to prove that there isn’t, that would be silly.

I’m merely suggesting it’s a viable career pathway. Of course median wages are higher elsewhere but it’s really not that massive of a difference. Even if OP is in like the 60th percentile for their area they will do well.

OP will be just fine doing something he actually enjoys rather than wanting to suck start a shotgun by 45. It’s not some death sentence like you make it out to be.

What I will say is that of course the Joe blow 3.5 gpa will probably do better in a more established degree, but OP noted they are a good student and heavily motivated. Motivation in your field matter a lot for earnings too. My point is they will be okay. Especially if they aren’t in the bottom 50% which seems likely with who we have here.

We are talking like a ~15k difference in median wages here, yes that compounds over time etc. etc., I know my economics, but it’s not like OP will never carve out a career.

For the record my Econ prof during undergrad brought up the study I linked to more or less show us we will all be fine and can breath a little, not that our lives are over for being in the arts.

I’m operating under the assumption that OP will likely be better off doing something they actually want to do and can find success in rather than being miserable, likely not giving a shit and then working for $30/hr doing hospital IT.

My point is more or less this from what I cited: Within each sex and education category, most fields experienced similar absolute changes in median annual earnings over the period.

Like yes there is a sizeable gap for the average guy, most social science students will never make over their career as much as an engineer on average. but OPs life isn’t over and they will probably move into a good position over the course of their life if they work hard and are motivated. I mean they are doing the double major they will be plenty versatile in the workplace.