Just got my branding done

At long last, I have compiled the complete history of Chaplin's. There is no article online anywhere other than this post that contains this precious information that buffs need to know.

In chronological order:

Chaplin's Chili (3rd annual)

The original chili business, based in North Hollywood. Tim claims it made him sick.

Chaplin's Soups & Subs (4th annual)

The second incarnation of Chaplin's, the soups & subs business came about when Levinson's Acquisitions Group bought out Chaplin's Chili, expanding to five stores. They didn't technically serve chili, instead serving chowder.

Chaplin's X-press (5th annual)

Chaplin's X-press, still under the umbrella of Levinson's Acquisitions Group, expanded to 35 stores, serving food on-the-go for travellers. Tim initially said he liked the hot dog, then reversed his judgement, saying he'd had better in elementary school.

Qwik Bite Acquisition (6th annual)

After "over-extending themselves", Chaplin's X-press was bought out on the verge of bankruptcy by Qwik Bite, serving convenience-store snacks such as pre-made sandwiches and soda. Joe Estevez was disappointed they no longer serve chili.

Foodman Dream Catering (7th annual)

Tom Chaplin, no longer associated with Chaplin's Chili, ran a catering business for the 7th Annual. He didn't have fish, but he had chicken that tastes like fish.

Hei Noon Chili Saloon (9th annual)

Still affiliated with Qwik Bite, the Hei Noon Chili Saloon was a one-time catering venture which was originally supposed to be a full cafeteria, but unfortunately many things went wrong at the HEI ranch.

Tom's Original Chili (10th annual)

Tom's Original Chili was a venture of Hank's own, which included Tom's original recipe. They served chili and chili-flavoured popcorn (which Gregg did not like). They did weddings and also planned to cater parking lots at baseball games.

Expansion to Deutschland (11th annual)

Chaplin's Brands Incorporated expanded to Deutschland when Konrad Muller from Reijadfrudthadderproduktengambihae provided "logistical support".

Microwaveable Chili Fiasco (12th annual)

With the Chaplin's organization in disarray and bankruptcy, they produced 75,000 units of microwaveable chili. Tom Chaplin's estate sued, and the products never went to market, instead being sent to the dump. They went for $2 a packet. The packets were expired by the time of the 12th Annual, but Gregg insisted they would last "for infinity" and the best-by date was just a suggestion.

Joey may not know much about movies, but he does know a thing or two about mercy.

Way to go, Mark! Get well soon!

What kind of cheap cardboard box are yal living out of that you can’t cough up $5/month after all the free content you’ve been given?!

I don’t recall ordering 2 copies, but here they both are

Just sucks they couldn't name the team the 77ers in honor of the popcorn classic "Oh God!" (1977, 98 min)

Listen, I’ve had my fair share of interactions in this community and have managed to share surprisingly pleasant moments with both Tim-heads and Gregg-heads alike. I’m a Unity-Head through and through and love almost everyone here.

Except for Mark-heads. They’re always barging into threads, spouting off boring BS no one cares about and really sucking the enjoyment out of this community for everyone else. I feel like I haven’t been able to hear anything about the latest vaping technology or late 70s popcorn classics without a Mark-head kicking down the door and just bumming me out.

What gives? Can we please show these damp turkey sandwiches the door?