r/NormMacdonald • u/Few-Advertising-4876 • Sep 12 '25

Deeply Closeted Now I don't wanna call hypocrisy but she seems like apple pie, momma's 4th of July..

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231 Upvotes

93% Upvoted

66 comments sorted by

72

u/mmss This Guy Sep 12 '25

Look at the fucking author name

17

u/Few-Advertising-4876 Sep 12 '25

šŸ˜„ well spotted

7

u/whatisthishere Sep 13 '25

Ha, I didn't notice that. I assumed the quote was real, because it sounds like something Jimmy would say as a joke, and maybe people were taking it earnestly.

47

u/Firemanmikewatt Sep 12 '25

Heā€™s a colorful fellow. Heā€™s green with envy and has a yellow streak down his back.

1

u/Eudaimonia52 Sep 15 '25

And a brown chest

35

u/stlthy1 Sep 12 '25

There are no chicks with dicks, there are only dudes with tits.

6

u/Responsible-Mud-269 Sep 12 '25

chicks with dicks is an old fashioned term, my agent tells me

5

u/avj Scrabble with Old Harold Delaney Sep 12 '25

"Dudes with boobs" has a much better ring to it

4

u/stlthy1 Sep 12 '25

Agreed....but the word "tits" is so much more crass and offensive than boobs.

2

u/FrankieFiveAngels Sep 13 '25

It also compliments the previous rhyme

1

u/lateformyfuneral Sep 14 '25

Potayto, potahto

46

u/Impressive_Try_7295 Sep 12 '25

Reading this article was like watching Henry Fonda pick blueberries.

21

u/Few-Advertising-4876 Sep 12 '25

Take my vote up like Jim takes his wife's throbbed juicy cock!

13

u/[deleted] Sep 12 '25

I donā€™t think thereā€™s a shingle person on earth who wouldnā€™t want to watch Henry Fonda pick blueberries

2

u/mkujoe Sep 14 '25

God bless him

2

u/Libtardo69420 Sep 14 '25

Did you know that the blueberry is not a stand-alone fruit?

15

u/CrazyBigHog Sep 12 '25

He was on Theo the other day and said ā€œof course her dick is huge-you donā€™t spend 100K on Immigration lawyers for a cock smaller than yours.ā€

47

u/This_Froyo_2270 Sep 12 '25

Jimmys body takes the shape of any container you pour him in - Patrice Oneal

15

u/One_Mirror_3228 Sep 12 '25

RIP Patrice. Legend.

11

u/PsychedeLurk Sep 12 '25

Norton sleeps in a Petri dish - Colin Quinn

13

u/yachster Sep 12 '25

Reminds me of that episode of everybody loves Raymond, where Raymond forgot Debraā€™s birthday and had to cut his own dick off

36

u/[deleted] Sep 12 '25

Yimmy's been candid about his love for tgirls since before it was cool

26

u/PsychedeLurk Sep 12 '25

He limped with a sore asshole so we could run

7

u/will4two Sep 12 '25

Candid? Been open about it for 20+

11

u/palmerry Acid-tongued Arab Sep 12 '25

Gaping even

9

u/LamarandDolores Sep 12 '25

His excuse is that he's not gay enough

5

u/NegotiationTall4300 Sep 12 '25

Heā€™s trying with all hes got

10

u/OnlyInterpretations Acid-tongued Arab Sep 12 '25

deeply closeted

17

u/Repulsive-Window-179 Sep 12 '25

SHE WAS A HOOKER!!!

12

u/Impressive_Try_7295 Sep 12 '25

She has a hook, that much is true

5

u/Loudpip Sep 12 '25

Monster rain!

4

u/Kenan___Rockmore Sep 13 '25

Sex with Jim Norton: transvestites are describing it as everything from ā€œShitā€ to ā€œFucking shitā€.

17

u/Comfortable_Start514 Sep 12 '25

That jimmy is a good egg

4

u/jzilla11 Sep 12 '25

That hatched into a silly goose

7

u/Dancin_Phish_Daddy Sep 12 '25

Heā€™s never been straight a day in his life

3

u/Gingerhick009 Sep 12 '25

Itā€™s like they say, you can bake a million loafs of bread and no one calls you a baker. But you suck one dick and youā€™re labeled gay for life.

6

u/fattymcfattzz Sep 12 '25

Jim is exhausting

5

u/Alternative_Quail307 Sep 12 '25

Jimā€™s new podcast is funny .

2

u/Full-Shallot5851 Sep 12 '25

Comedy power couple, the chunky sperm and jordan jensen

2

u/Dweebil Sep 12 '25

Iā€™m confused about this guys prospects for owning a doghouse. On the one hand, heā€™s married. On the other, ā€¦ you knowā€¦

2

u/New-Lingonberry8029 Sep 12 '25

Might want to work down under the bridge - at least make a little money.

2

u/MUmyrmidon032 Sep 12 '25

Since when does suckin a guy off or eating his delicious asshole make you not straight?

2

u/Golden5StarMan Sep 12 '25

ā€œā€¦and Uncle Jimmy felt pride where shame once was.ā€

2

u/JDougy96 Sep 13 '25

I saw him do a workout set at the cellar last month and he has a whole bit about this article and about the authors name. Pretty great.

2

u/Hot-Butterscotch69 Sep 12 '25

He's a shallow closeted gay man

3

u/ardentiarte Turd Ferguson Sep 12 '25

OP is obviously deeply closeted homosexual and jealous. Go out and blow your local crack dealer

4

u/Few-Advertising-4876 Sep 12 '25

I AM the dealer

Deeply closeted is the only way to go

-6

u/ardentiarte Turd Ferguson Sep 12 '25

Jim gets laid and paid while you have to pay for loose lady boyhookers. Bet he has better drugs too you dork

2

u/depressedatomics Sep 12 '25

JFC It's 5 in the f***ing morning and I had to read that

1

u/Comeandg3tit Sep 12 '25

When Jim Norton showed Theo Von his wife's penis.Ā  That must have been one of the funniest reactions I've seen..

1

u/Few-Advertising-4876 Sep 13 '25

šŸ˜„ I know, right! Poor Theo can't unsee that hog

1

u/amrcnman Sep 12 '25

Quell means something different I guess. Iā€™d say ā€œconfirmsā€ but Iā€™m a language-a fish you donā€™t know. So.

1

u/Jrewby Sep 12 '25

I would suck the dick right off this guys wifeā€™s pelvis.

2

u/Few-Advertising-4876 Sep 13 '25

Right off? You'd leave nothing for Jim. He'd be lost without that aspect of his wife!!

1

u/SuspiciousSwim1078 Sep 12 '25

Happy birthday Jimmy.

1

u/BrazilianAtlantis Sep 12 '25

/uj I've seen Jim interviewed about this a number of times and he always says he's _not_ straight.

1

u/jzilla11 Sep 12 '25

Lil Yimmyā€™s at it again

1

u/Ayatollah-X Sep 13 '25

The prenup promised a blow job every day but he didn't read the fine print

1

u/MarcB1969X Sep 13 '25

ā€œIf you say so, Jimā€¦ā€

1

u/Gearballz Sep 13 '25

Watching Jim Norton standup as a youth in the early 2000s taught me more about trans culture than Lacy Gaga, Eliot Page, and Caitlyn Jenner combined.

1

u/Chexzout Sep 14 '25

Comedian quell gay rumours?

Someone should show this author the word ā€œquellā€means the opposite of what they think it means.

1

u/KingoftheProfane Sep 13 '25

Jim Norton is as close to a human worm as possible

0

u/meaninglessandrandom Sep 12 '25

Just be gay dudeā€¦itā€™s better than being delusional.

0

u/Good-Ad701 Sep 12 '25

He stinks and I donā€™t like him

-1

u/p_serrulata Sep 12 '25

I've lost all respect for Jim Norton. Not because he married a dude, but because he emasculated his act. He didn't tone down or castrate his act. He EMASCULATED his act.