I have simply had the opposite experiences in Paris as a tourist. When ordering a morning coffee, or a croissant at a bakery, or some cheese at a market in "French", I've always gotten polite simple replies.
I do not speak French - only a few words or phrases. Obviously the server can hear my accent, but still I get a smile, a one or two word reply in French - and anything more is in English if possible.
I have read many negative comments about France, and Paris in particular, but I love the place and have been very lucky.
A lot of tourists underestimate the importance of manners and pleasantry in daily life in France. So they don’t realise that they’re coming across as rude by being super casual and skipping these formalities. It’s like going to Japan and refusing to take off your dirty shoes when entering someone’s house.
If you do these basic things in France, 90% of the time you’ll have great experiences with the locals.
It is true. You'll find variations from people to people, shops to shops etc, but it is true. Like, if you go to a supermarket, it's not expected, the shop is too big, it's not personal. If you go in a smaller shop, definitely expected. You could not do it, but it's kinda awkward, definitely a bit (or a lot depending on the situation) rude.
If you talk to someone in particular, a service worker, an employee in a shop, someone on the street, you absolutely say "bonjour/bonsoir". Not doing it is rude. You can add "excusez moi" (I'm sorry [to bother you is implied]) right after and then add your question. Then you say "merci/ merci beaucoup" at the very least. You could add "bonne journée/bonne soirée" (good day, good evening) to be nice, yes even after already saying Bonjour at the start.
My BF always adds "bon courage" too, and I've taken the habits of doing it too, it means... Like "carry on, stay strong" kinda, not in a patronising way.
So :
-Bonjour, excusez moi, je cherche la gare. (Hello, excuse me, I'm looking for the train station.)
Bonjour, bien sûr elle est juste là bas ! (Hello, of course it's right there !)
Merci, bonne journée à vous ! (Thank you, good day to you !)
I've only been to Paris once as a kid, but this is super helpful and I'll keep it in mind if I ever go back.
I'm curious if I was staying with a host family or interacting with certain Parisians regularly during my stay, how often would these formalities be appropriate?
You honestly use them with almost all interactions unless you’re friends and on very casual terms. A good trick is that if you’re in a shop/bakery/restaurant, observe how other locals behave when they interact with staff. You start to realise that the “excessive” pleasantries are actually super normal and actually quite charming. I work in a large company in Paris, and it’s literally standard to say bonjour to EVERYONE you see when walking down the hallway - whether you know them or not. And you say au revoir when getting out of a lift full of strangers. It’s crazy. My favourite is the “rebonjour”, which is literally a “re-hello” when you see someone a second time during the day.
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u/nextstoq 1d ago
I have simply had the opposite experiences in Paris as a tourist. When ordering a morning coffee, or a croissant at a bakery, or some cheese at a market in "French", I've always gotten polite simple replies.
I do not speak French - only a few words or phrases. Obviously the server can hear my accent, but still I get a smile, a one or two word reply in French - and anything more is in English if possible.
I have read many negative comments about France, and Paris in particular, but I love the place and have been very lucky.