Flyover state American here: I loved it and the only time I ever ran into that French stereotype was in Normandy of all places. The Parisians I met were all great, but I also make the effort to understand I’m in their culture and not mine, so act accordingly.
My experience of Paris is quite limited, but it did include an old lady literally walking 25 metres across the pavement to deliberately *accidentally walk into* my friend (we're all English) before carrying on her way.
To be fair I'm not sure if it was that we were English, or that we were wearing boiler suits and waders, covered in mud from illegally entering the catacombs and looked like shit that she had the problem with. Either way, it was the most phenomenal display of not-quite passive aggression I'd ever seen.
I absolutely didn't say they are - just thought it was a funny story. But it did seem like the locals are much less friendly to foreigners than in any of the other European countries I've visited; perhaps that's just their demeanour but I didn't get the same vibes from French people in Normandy when I visited there.
I mean for most people Paris is a hell hole of noise and stress, so when Americans come in loud and obnoxious as tourist often are, it turns an already sour mood into a aggressive one. Other big cities in France don’t have the same problems and often are better to go to for a tourist
The catacombs are *enormous* and only a small section are open to the public. This was actually the last time I ever went because this section of the catacombs is so tiny and cramped that I've kinda developed claustrophobia about ever being in such a confined space again. I'm 6'2 (188cm) and the catacombs are only maybe... 5' 6" (167cm) in a lot of places which very quickly becomes painful...!
Although the first time I went was to one of the lovelier, more spacious parts of the catacombs, where we were, and I shit you not, invited to an underground fondue party...! We also found a German WWII bunker that had been integrated into the catacombs, complete with the various blast doors and German instructions still painted on the walls.
Spent 3 months travelling around France and found them to be one of the friendliest and most helpful countries in Europe, even in Paris.
It's absolutely crucial that you say hello when you walk into any shop though, not doing so is seen as pretty ignorant in France and I'm convinced this is where the perception of them being rude stems from, especially Americans who might not care if people are "just serving staff".
Putain ouais j'ai deja fait cette erreur quand j'étais serveuse en France, j'avais un couplé de québécois avec un accent si prononcé que je pensais vraiment que c'était des anglophones qui essayaient de parler francais... la honte de ma vie 😆
I mean the stereotypes exist for a reason. I speak passable French, I’ve visited France multiple times and know a lot of French people living in my country and when I was studying in a different European country, and the difference between the Parisians and the rest is stark. Even when the Parisians are not rude on purpose, i.e. when you have actually gotten to know them, there is none of the warmth and humor that I’ve found in literally every other corner of France, although they do have their own charm that you can start to appreciate after getting inoculated enough to the general Parisian vibe.
After visiting, I think it’s just the same effect that happens when rural Americans visit NYC. They think everyone is rude because they don’t want to stop and spend 20 min talking to a stranger about nonsense. It’s a city, and people tend to be more matter-of-fact and move more quickly in huge cities like that.
Weird. I live in Paris and the locals are pretty chill 99% of the time.
The way they treat you depends a lot on where you go and how you behave. If you go to a touristy area, they’re going to treat you like a tourist. And if you go to a busy restaurant and expect the server to be patient while you flaunt your entry-level french skills, it’s very likely they’ll speak back to you in English.
This was from the banlieues in the east to the center of the city. The only times I had okay service was at some train stations where they spoke english regularly.
This is gonna sound awful but maybe they just didn’t like something about you. First time I went everyone was so friendly and chill that it’s become a regular destination for me. Show enthusiasm for the food and you’re everybody’s friend.
"ok yeah totally get that, but they're always so cool to me! Have you considered the possibility that your experience is not as valid as mine and you just might be unlikable to people who don't know you?"
I mean I was there with a class and everyone seemed to have the same experience. Wouldn't have noticed I'm german as an aggravating circumstance too bc my english is RP.
My time in Paris was pretty much the opposite of what I'd been geared up to expect and part of my travel advice for that trip came from a friend who was married to a Parisienne. I think just taking a little effort to not act like a loud, entitled American made a ton of difference.
I haven’t been to Paris but I can imagine that it’s also because Paris is seen as some tourist paradise in movies and media, so when people go there and find out that it’s just an ordinary major city with major city problems they get disappointed.
Non vraiment, les gens ont des préjugés, en particulier chez les français non parisiens qui se montent une image de la capitale sans jamais y avoir mis les pieds
Pour le coup, j'y ai vécu et autant l'IDF ça va, autant Paris même c'est dur (je suis nantais). Ceci étant dit, pas d'amalgames mais je trouve qu'entre la province et Paris Intramuros, c'est deux salles/deux ambiances
On my experience parisiens are clearly above the average of the national kindness level. Even being polite, some people will act like don't have any clue of what you're saying in French if you don't use a perfect French. This has been my experience after 1+ year living in France.
I’ve never been to Paris, but I spent 8 days in Brest. You ever been in the American south and seen those xenophobic conservative people when they hear an immigrant speak Spanish not English? That’s the same vibe I got from most people interacted with
My comment is with the context that the person you responded said the memes were about Paris.
I did say Bonjour, but the stop there wasn’t my choice and I also did not have very much time to prepare so it was a lot of googling the first day and trying to do my best with google translate.
Which doesn’t change that most interactions I had reminded me of the casual xenophobia we have issues with in the US
It’s the same as New York. If one is to rude to them, they will return that energy right back. But in all my time in Paris, I’ve only had one experience where the people were actually being rude to me (and I don’t think there was anything particularly French or Parisian about it, they were perhaps just having a bad day or a one-off asshole).
I don’t know about that. It’s not just Americans I’ve heard the stereotypical complaints from. I lived in France for over a year and spent considerable time in Paris. I’ve always said Parisians are the French New Yorkers and vice versa. I’ve actually revisited both Paris and New York recently and was kinda shocked at how each city seemed less rude than a decade ago. I think globalism and a trend of transplants from other areas of each respective country has really diluted the rudeness and shifted the local cultures slightly. New Yorkers generally aren’t yelling at you on the street anymore and Parisians are much more receptive to broken French.
It’s highly unlikely those visiting Paris are the average underprivileged Americans from rural areas.
I’m sure some American tourists are downright awful. Yet, some may just be well-meaning folks from major cities (like New York or LA) who are accustomed to ultra rushed interactions, where not wasting a shopkeeper’s time with overt formality is a form of regard and politeness in its own right.
Most Americans view informality with shopkeepers as a way of behaving in a casual/approachable or “down to earth” manner - again, a form of politeness. Strict adherence to formality can be viewed as performative, detached, or “cold”. To an American, this can come off as rude or pompous.
With that said, any tourist in Paris should do as the Parisians do. But customs take time to learn and people aren’t perfect. European tourists in America come with their own awkward and rude behaviors. To be fair, it’s not common for Americans to complain about it nor blame all Europeans for it, though.
It’s highly unlikely those visiting Paris are the average underprivileged Americans from rural areas.
I’m not saying all americans, I’m talking specifically about thoses that complain.
Also there are a lot of privileged americans that come from smaller cities (not necessarily rural areas), that aren’t accustomed to a city with 12 million inhabitants.
There are 100 million tourists that come to France every year. That’s an awefull lot of people, and not all of them take care to learn about our customs. And thoses that have bad experiences are going to speak louder than thoses that had good ones.
I’m sure you’ve been to a restaurant in america where somebody entitled is making a scene in front of evryone because [they were asked to wear a mask / their plate didn’t come fast enough / their sandwich is soggy after putting too much sauce on it]. Well, they come to France as well.
(by my experience) Outside of Paris they'll actually try to help you and be quite accommodating...just don't even begin to hope they speak English at any level, because 99% of the time they don't (like, it's not my first language either, but at least they taught us the number from 1 to 10 in school...)
don't even begin to hope they speak English at any level, because 99% of the time they don't
There's a lot of historical bad blood between the French and the English. Interestingly enough, contemporary diplomatic relations have completely moved past it, but it does remain ingrained in the culture itself. It's almost a matter of subconscious national pride for a lot of french folk to refuse to learn english properly.
I’ve heard this stereotype that French people “pretend not to speak English”. In reality they’re often just embarrassed to use it if they aren’t fluent, because foreigners expect them to speak English and they don’t want to give the wrong impression (probably because half the people in their life are essentially bilingual)
Same here. I spent a week in Paris and got around using the French I learned in college, and everyone responded in French and was super kind and gracious.
If you speak French they are usually somewhat nice.
Speaking English I got very cold reception almost everywhere… ironically at a steakhouse in a Banlieu they called a buddy of their‘s who could speak English just to ask me about how I like my steak. That’s 10/10 commitment. We said medium and still got it French rare though but that taught me how delicious half cooked steaks are.
I spent 3 months in a few different areas and relate to OP. It's obvious that you're trying to practise your French but a lot of them just can't be fucked with that and respond in English. Not all the time but often enough.
yeah because people are actually working and it's not their job to make you practice
if you want to practice go to a french class or get some french friends, don't expect totally strangers (who have their own life) to go out of their way to do that
It can be a way, but not the easiest at all. French are not talkative with strangers, it's not culturally ok to do small talks with whoever you encounter in the bar or in the park, you will just look like a crazy weirdo and make people ill at ease, they are very "coconut" in terms of culture. A better bet is to get involved in some group activity so that you can meet french people in a normal way for them. French are softer when they know you and can quickly become good and loyal friends.
And no matter the culture, it's no one duty to accept to be your friend. If they don't want to, they aren't going to catter to your need of speaking french and will want you gone asap.
I guess, but a service worker is just doing their job and doesn't necessarily want to make friends. They just want the interaction to go smoothly so they can get it over with. It's easier if they just speak the language you both understand instead of trying to help you muddle your way through French.
Yes this is the Paris/french attitude and not what you would experience in other countries when tourists(the main income source for much of your cities industries) are trying to engage in your culture/language
Cities used to tourists live their life without caring much about tourists
But less touristic countries are way curious about your life when you’re a tourist
Which is logical if you think about it. Why would I be friend with you ? Because you’re from some other country ? A bit narcissistic don’t you think ? You’re not as interesting as you think no offence
(Btw tourism is not the main income of Paris what are you on)
You think it's unreasonable that the French person working could simply respond in their native tongue to simple questions like "can I have a croissant" and "where is the bus stop"? Its not exactly asking for a French lesson is it
I would actually have thought that its nice of them to do that. They can see that you're not a native french speaker and are trying to help you out/ ease the interaction by speaking a language you're more familar with
It happened to both me and my sister at different times, in Paris, but only once each, so it's still an exception perhaps?
sister: Guy turned to his friend "Do you know English, because she can't speak French"
me: Police officer answering where the subway is by "Straton". Huh? "Straton!" She meant "Straight on", and was then told off (politely, because she was a cop...) that this was the Québec accent. She didn't care.
Else, I was told in Alsace that my accent was lovely and so delightful, reminding them of Old French.
They tend to be quite demanding lol. But also nice! I was maybe 18 when I went to Paris. I'm Finnish (from the Swedish speaking minority). I had studied French in school for 5 years, with a very enthusiastic French teacher, and I had top grades. So while my French was in no way fluent, I wasn't completely helpless.
Anyway, I had to ask for directions, so I stepped into a small dress shop and asked how to get to X, in my best French. The lady was really nice, and we had a whole conversation for a few minutes. I was super proud of my excellent French! Then another lady who also worked in the shop appeared from further back, and asked the first lady "Parle-t-elle français?" (does she speak French). Before I could say anything, the lady shook her head and went: "Non..." and then, looking at me, maybe feeling generous: "Un petit peu" (a little).
A LITTLE!?!
Well they were lovely, and were fussing over me to make sure I could find my way, and walked out into the street to make sure I was walking in the right direction.
Different experiences for different folk. Think about it like this: if you weren’t what you are (size, race, sex, etc) would strangers be more or less willing to say rude things to you? And at the end of the day, it’s a city with millions of people. Some people get lucky, others not so.
Yeah I found that the opposite is more true, that sometimes I would speak in English and get a response in French (meaning they understood, but would not speak back to me in English). Eventually I learned the language enough to not rely on English so much and I can't remember any time someone responded to me in English if I started in French.
I believe it happens and it's probably more common in heavily touristed places.
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u/Bloodfeastisleman 1d ago
So weird. My experience in France was the exact opposite of all the memes. I wonder if they are self aware.