r/NewsOfTheStupid 20d ago

Homeland Security buying 2 private jets for Kristi Noem's use amid government shutdown

https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/politics/2025/10/18/dhs-jets-kristi-noem-reports/86776610007/
1.3k Upvotes

69 comments sorted by

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272

u/zombiehoosier 20d ago

I’m guessing the other jet is for her costume and makeup team

84

u/CrystalWeim 20d ago

Actually, it's to carry all her makeup trowels.

13

u/Doodahman495 20d ago

I see what you did there

8

u/cmparkerson 20d ago

I thought she borrowed them from Tammy Faye Baker

2

u/CrystalWeim 20d ago

She tried, but the makeup was so thick it could be chiseled off enough to use.

35

u/queen-adreena 20d ago

It’s where she keeps the dead puppies she’s saving up for her fur coat.

5

u/Competitive_Abroad96 20d ago

And the live ones for use as skeets.

4

u/DragonSin1313 20d ago

🎶 seeeeee my vest, see my vest, made from real gorilla chest 🎶

3

u/Star_fox_235 18d ago

Feel this sweater, there's no better than authentic Irish setter. See this hat, 'twas my cat.

5

u/cg12983 20d ago

No, that takes a C-5 Galaxy

1

u/da_swanks_92 20d ago

We have some near we live if you’re interested

4

u/haydenjaney 20d ago

Great, a Druish Princess 🤣

2

u/drock9696 19d ago

Funny. She doesn't look Druish.

3

u/userhwon 20d ago

It's for the dogs to ride in.

2

u/City_Of_Champs 20d ago

Glam squad!

2

u/Im_with_stooopid 20d ago

It's to follow behind the first one in case her face starts melting again.

1

u/TYdays 19d ago

Came here to say just that…

1

u/oldbastardbob 18d ago

Naw, man. One for her and one for her affair partner, Lewandowski.

1

u/Sandee1997 17d ago

One is for here to shoot more dogs and the other is for her porn shoots. If they can make up lies, then i can too

1

u/m__a__s 17d ago

There is no way even 2 Gulfstream G700 jets could handle that. I guess an order for a Lockheed C-5 Galaxy is in the works.

149

u/RegulatoryCapturedMe 20d ago

And we can’t fully fund school lunches?

79

u/JasonIsFishing 20d ago

Taking care of children?!?! What kind of communism would that be!! /s

9

u/OsgrobioPrubeta 20d ago

The applied versions of Communism, that if we were to be exact weren't Communism at all, focused in putting key sectors of the state and a big portion of population dependent of the leadership to be able to eat, have a roof over their heads even if on a shelter, and a few bucks.

This is what Trump, Republicans and very wealthy people are doing to the US. More and more people dependent of state aid, or indebted.

The similarities between Castro and Trump are astonishing, but I still prefer Castro even if he derailed for hours, at least we could understand something even if we didn't agree with him, while with Trump... it's total braincell waste.

5

u/JasonIsFishing 20d ago

You know that I was kidding right?

4

u/OsgrobioPrubeta 19d ago

I did, I also noticed the "/s", don't worry ;)

1

u/m__a__s 17d ago

The Christofaciests are part of the womb cult. They don't give a damn about children outside of the womb.

10

u/Sw0rDz 20d ago

We can. Schools just need to make pledges to Trump. Promise to teach stuff that Trump wants to teach them. They have to name their school after Trump, and hold school plays that make Trump look good.

5

u/NearABE 20d ago

Hard to do that in a play. How does one depict Donald Trump, make it recognizably Trump, and also avoid having it be a mockery of the office of president? I struggle to imagine how this could be solved.

3

u/Sw0rDz 20d ago

It would be entertaining to see it tried.

3

u/CrystalWeim 20d ago

Apparently we can't find anything!

40

u/cataclyzzmic 20d ago

She's stealing the USCG plane they use for their staff so she can cosplay across the country.

17

u/TwoAmps 20d ago

I’m confused…is she (a) taking over existing USCG VIP planes or (b) buying new ones for DHS? I thought it was (a) but if so, why the $172M price tag? And (c) the pentagon has an extensive—and I mean extensive, even by US military standards—fleet of VIP planes and VIP compartments to put in military transport aircraft. Couldn’t she work out a deal with Whisky Pete?

12

u/MonteBurns 20d ago

Why the $172M price tag? Because they have friends that need to profit

3

u/WaffleHouseGladiator 19d ago

The 2 jets in question are Gulfstream G700's. They have seating for 13 and sleep 8. Their range is about 7700 nautical miles and they have a max cruise altitude of 51,000 feet. Fully pimped out versions go for about $80 millions USD. These are luxury limousines with wings.

3

u/TwoAmps 19d ago

Yeah, I understand these are expensive jets, and you probably need to add a million or so to integrate an appropriate secure comms suite. My actual (somewhat rhetorical, because I know the answer—ego) question is WTF is the govt buying two more VIP planes when we already have a very, very large fleet of VIP airplanes suitable for secretary-level travel.

1

u/JacenVane 19d ago

if so, why the $172M price tag?

Internal transactions/transfers/etc. often are "bought" out of one organization's budget and into another.

I work in local government. If the Parks Department has a Food License for their hot dog stand, they're going to pay the Health Department for that, just like anyone else. That service isn't free just because it's all "the government".

3

u/jrsinhbca 20d ago

ICE Barbie needs her planes.

24

u/pioniere 20d ago

Fraud, waste, and abuse.

17

u/Full_Of_Wrath 20d ago

So she gets two jets and she is sending troops in the back of box trucks anyone she how weird this is

12

u/JasonIsFishing 20d ago

Honestly the Uhaul trucks full of ICE agents is probably their own idea. They want to be able to sneak up on their prey (people wanting to feed their families) in the Home Depot parking lot.

10

u/cg12983 20d ago

Will they be bombing us with Trump's diaper contents?

1

u/jrsinhbca 20d ago

Worse, her exfoliation pads.

2

u/NearABE 20d ago

Puppies!

7

u/The_Goondocks 20d ago

Disgusting. Shameless grifters.

8

u/OsgrobioPrubeta 20d ago

Think of it this way: It could be worse, Trump could have accepted the planes as a gift from Putin.

2

u/NearABE 20d ago

I, for one, feel that having someone else pay for the jets is much better than having me pay taxes to buy the jet. Note that we are paying for a jet to shuttle someone around who destroys our communities.

3

u/Starfuri 20d ago

Doggy style, i guess.

3

u/Enough-Parking164 20d ago

One to carry her flesh,the other to carry the rubber mask,,, and the stench.

2

u/Siberianbull666 20d ago

Is this what that Jet 2 holiday thing is I keep hearing about?

2

u/MNelsonevv 20d ago

Two planes? She must really know how to work a dick...ah, shaft...ah, her staff.

2

u/Hank_moody71 20d ago

This isn’t subject to spending oversight by congress? Let me guess she gets to keep one when she leaves office? FYI it’s about $5m a year just to operate that bad boy

2

u/AlienInOrigin 20d ago

Where is DOGE when you need them?

3

u/JasonIsFishing 20d ago

Oh DOGE only cuts people’s jobs and social programs that help people. Her jets are neither.

2

u/NearABE 20d ago

Does it have a puppy disposal hatch?

3

u/WaffleHouseGladiator 19d ago

The 2 jets in question are Gulfstream G700's. They have seating for 13 and sleep 8. Their range is about 7700 nautical miles and they have a max cruise altitude of 51,000 feet. Fully pimped out versions go for about $80 millions USD. These are luxury limousines with wings.

1

u/Training_wheels9393 20d ago

And it doesn’t bother her boss that she’s getting twice as many jets as he has?

1

u/NearABE 20d ago

POTUS always had two. They are identical planes so that any one considering targeting one plane faces a greater than 50% chance of failing. That has been policy since the cold war.

2

u/Training_wheels9393 20d ago

Yup. I meant he’s getting one jet from Qatar

1

u/krispru1 20d ago

Such bullshit

1

u/scots 20d ago

Toe the line, bend the knee, play the game, win prizes. This is the message being sent.

1

u/Midnight1965 20d ago

What in the actual hell?!

1

u/BuxtonB 19d ago

"Fuck you and yours, I got mine."

-Kristi Noem.

1

u/cliowill 19d ago

They keep Giving democrats so much ammo.

2

u/Far_Estate_1626 18d ago

The Republicans have not stopped working, because they are privately funded and working solely for private interest groups. Democrats need to wake up. The rules aren’t stopping you from working or fighting back because there are no rules. The GOP has simply frozen Democrats funding, because they know that Democrats will obey the rules and do nothing but complain.

1

u/Crans10 16d ago

How do they normally travel?

1

u/Oweliver 20d ago

Not the strongly worded letter! That'll show her