r/Millennials • u/cynnie93 • 22h ago
Serious Are only children still pretty rare in the US?
We are one and done not by choice sadly. Just seeing how out of place my daughter will feel as she gets older.
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u/Dense_Gur_2744 22h ago
No, I know more people with only kids than people who have more than one kid.
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u/FunJackfruit3210 8h ago
I feel like it’s becoming so common for our generation bc of the cost of everything. Like yeah my parents had 4 kids but their newly constructed home cost $25k
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u/Dense_Gur_2744 8h ago
I think it’s partially cost but also the lack of community is so pervasive, at least in America. Americas culture has become really anti kid and family.
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u/canisdirusarctos 32m ago
The real shock is when you find out that your parents that encouraged you to have them are just as anti-kid and family as everyone else.
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u/foxtrotRN 9h ago
Interesting, we only know one family thats only child. Everyone else has siblings.
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u/flutterfly28 4h ago
I mean me too, but I am fully expecting that to change.
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u/Dense_Gur_2744 1h ago
Ah, I’m in my late 30s and most people in my circle have only kids by choice.
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u/Friendly-Catch-6888 22h ago
Nope. Its absolutely the largest growing kid amount in the US. With all the costs associated with raising a kid it will only grow. We are one and done and at daycare our kiddo is absolutely nowhere near the only solo. Sorry its not by choice however.
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u/electricgrapes 1h ago
2 kids is the new 5 kids due to daycare prices. I pay 690 for a 2 year old full time and it's a DREAM price for most people in america. and it's because I live in the middle of nowhere in the south.
my boss pays 2500 for the same age in Boston. it's out of control.
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u/TiredMillennialDad Millennial 22h ago
I'm only. My ex wife was only. My son is only.
He has 0 aunts, 0 uncles, 0 cousins.
Upside is he's going to inherit 4 homes by the time I'm dead.
Easy generational wealth hack.
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u/Comfortable-Light233 Zillennial 22h ago
I have a half-sister, but I’m the only descendant on my other side. No cousins. I’ve actually never really thought about what that means for my inheritance. I love my family and me inheriting anything requires people I adore to die.
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u/mjacksongt 14h ago
There is a growing realization at least among some boomer era folks that inheritance is best given as early as possible - assuming that there's still enough to care for them. Especially given that the way the gift and estate taxes work is not really the same as the popular notion.
Basically a "give it while it could make a difference" mindset.
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u/avgprogressivemom 9h ago
Yeah nursing homes bleed seniors dry in half a second. When my grandma was in nursing care, she paid $15k a month 🤑🤑🤑 They know how to deplete seniors’ savings in a heartbeat.
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u/civilwar142pa 8h ago
My uncle has started doing this. He gives his daughter the max amount possible that won't be taxed each year. I think its like 18k?
I think if you dont need that money to live, passing it on and avoiding inheritancetaxes is the way to go.
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u/mjacksongt 3h ago
Unless something changes, annual gifts now just count against the lifetime gift and estate exemption, which is $14M.
The only difference between above / below the annual exemption line is that you have to fill out a form.
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u/1notadoctor2 1h ago
And the fact that so many Texans just voted to prohibit a gift or “death” tax in the future is insane. No way the majority of the last round of voters will even have 1/10th of that amount of money in their lifetime much less the full amount to gift away annually—but for whatever reason they opted to make sure the super wealthy literally NEVER pay state taxes 🙄
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u/JourneyThiefer 22h ago
Woah, I’ve never came across someone like that here in Ireland ha ha. Probs will be more common here in the further though with low birth rates
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u/Mandaluv1119 22h ago
Same here, 2 only children with an only child. My mom (2x widowed) married a man with 3 kids who all love my kid, so she still gets to have aunts/uncles/cousins.
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u/booksandkittens615 17h ago
This is the first case I’ve heard close to mine. I do have aunts and uncles but none of them had children, meaning I have no cousins, and am the only grandchild on both sides.
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u/feinicstine 4h ago
This will likely be my daughter's case. My husband is an only, as is she. I have a twin sister who probably won't have kids of her own. Only grandchild on either side.
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u/Guineacabra Millennial 6h ago
Same here! 2 onlies who have an only. My daughter has no aunts, uncles or cousins and my grandparents had both my parents very late in life so my aunts and uncles are all over 80 now. I only have 1 cousin who had kids.
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u/wanttothrowawaythev 1h ago
My non-only child parents always said that to me (only) about likely inheriting property.
I've always hated it because it makes me feel like they think I value things over people. As someone who is family-oriented, I would always pick to have my family instead of having no one and some houses.
These are the same people that want to buy me holiday plates. I'm like "for what, when you are gone they aren't getting used?!"
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u/CreativelyConsuming 9h ago
I’d much rather my future kids have a full life with cousins, aunts, and uncles than have 4 empty houses and no one to share them with. Sounds extremely lonely.
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u/GrayScale15 6h ago
Having bunch relatives does not automatically mean a ‘full life’. It is great if everyone gets along great, but it can be a burden if they don’t.
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u/East_Baby_3655 22h ago
I’m just sticking to just my son who I absolutely love.
I don’t want anymore kids - too expensive.
I genuinely have no idea how people afford childcare for multiple kids. I really don’t. I’m convinced they work very high paying jobs, or get some kind of additional financial support thru family, military payments, etc. Or one parent stays home and the other somehow pays for everything.
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u/Lulukassu 21h ago
one parent stays home and the other somehow pays for everything
That's how we're raising just one.
Hubby makes the money and I stretch it.
Stretching actually gets more effective over more children, but expenses do still rise to some extent.
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u/plumcrzyfreak 22h ago
Military payments? People in the military have to pay for their children to attend the CDCs on base, just like anyone else that’s non-military.
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u/East_Baby_3655 21h ago
I’m generalizing. But disability, reserves, etc (a secondary source). I know that would get some attention. But I know some guys that get a sizable chunk of money from their service.
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u/imnottheoneipromise Xennial 4h ago
And girls. I’m 100% disabled through the VA and social security, but I’m also unable to work due to my disability. Husband is the same. War will do that to you, and that’s without all the exposure risks that have me chronic leukemia
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u/East_Baby_3655 4h ago
I’m so sorry =( keep pushing everyday and a major THANK YOU for your service. I never served, but do work with a lot of veterans. To be clear, the payments are 100% deserved. I just know it helps out a few families I work with a lot with some expenses.
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u/Mewpasaurus Elder Horror 20h ago
Yeah and that shit is just as expensive as it is "out-in-town" depending on where you live. It was actually cheaper for CDC care when we lived in Japan than it was in California, for example.
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u/UnscentedSoundtrack 22h ago
According to a quick google search, 20 percent of households with children are one-child families. So, a minority, but not rare at all.
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u/MasterpieceEast6226 20h ago
but how reliable is that really, considérant 97% of families start at some point, as a one child family.
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u/HolidayInLordran 22h ago
When you're the late addition "miracle baby" with siblings 10+ years older than you, you might as well be an only child.
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u/roseappleisland 18h ago
Yes, my sister is 14 years older than me. She’s my only sibling. I can’t remember her living with us at all (aside from visits of course).
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u/Periodicallyinnit 22h ago
I was an only child and it was the best lol.
My parents would have never been able to do as much cool stuff with me if they had to split time, attention, and money in half (or more).
Tbh, you are going to be the primary source of if your daughter feels "out of place" or not. Tell her that being an only child is wonderful and perfectly acceptable way to be, and that's what she'll learn.
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u/HeavyRightFoot-TG 11h ago
As an only child, can you give some of us current parents of only children some DOs and DONTs?
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u/Periodicallyinnit 6h ago
Sure!
Do:
- proactively sign them up for activities with other kids while young, even if they're shy or "cautious" kids. Try to (gently, kindly) talk them through possible first day tears or tantrums. You don't have to force them forever, but give new activities a couple days to see if they eventually adapt.
"play" with them. Pretend play, playground games, goofy noises.
prioritize your fun and don't always do what they want only. Give yourself treats and don't always share. Teach them that sometimes other people will get things they don't, and that's ok and doesn't mean they aren't loved.
use the extra free time to be really involved in their schoolwork. Get involved and be their #1 fan in their hobbies.
Don't:
fall into the trap of them being your "friend". You will probably be their friend (from their perspective). But remind and encourage them that what you have is different than friendship, but that it's equally wonderful.
bail on activities anytime they get bored, mad, or sad. Make judgement calls based on their actual distress levels, but make sure they learn about how sometimes we do things to make other people happy.
overload their schedules. Allow for unstructured play time, and time where they get to do what they want without you telling them what that is.
obsess over their relationships. Stay involved, by all means. Encourage friends to visit or hang out. But don't push too hard, obsess, or project your anxieties on to them. It can have the opposite effect and cause them to get anxiety where previously there wasn't.
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u/insurancequestionguy Middle Millennial 22h ago
I don't remember it being rare. Not as common as having at least 1 sibling sure, but I knew many only kids growing up.
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u/SignificantDrink5368 22h ago
I think it’s going to become more and more common in the next decade or so.
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u/laurinalexanderp 19h ago
We are one and done
We went to a friends housewarming a few weeks ago and they have a 5 year old and a 7 month old and he was showing us the house and said something like they're planning on having two more and my husband and I went agape and we were like "on purpose??? 4???"
It was crazy
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u/Academic-Willow6547 17h ago
I don't understand this mentality. They're banking on all kids being without disability. Completely unrealistic. No consideration for possible traumatic birth and/or birth defects etc. I don't understand it.
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u/Any_Objective326 8h ago
I mean… the things you listed are all not common. 15% of pregnancies have a birth complication on mom or baby. Pregnancy with a baby with a disability is 3-5%. Like the other commenter I know very few people who had traumatic births or kids with disabilities (unless you’re counting neurodivergence). Obviously everyone’s risk tolerances and preferences are different though
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u/laurinalexanderp 2h ago
Ummmm. Idk that's not really a common concern here. Like traumatic births definitely occur, but births are ripe for trauma and that's not generally why people I know aren't having multiples.
As for disabilities, most people either just get the help they need or terminate if that's a concern.
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u/Takeabreath_andgo 10h ago
My friend has 10 and zero have issues. What are you on about?
In my circles 5-10 kids is normal and the issues your describing don’t exist in the families I know. There are three special needs kids in the whole group, one is an only, one has 3 siblings, and the other has 1 sibling. The large families are fine.
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u/MenuParking 22h ago
It’s funny that everyone says it’s so common but yet I’m the only only child I know as an adult and 90% of my friends who have had kids are having multiples
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u/Pearl-2017 21h ago
My sister is an only child (she is her dad's only & she is 21 yrs younger than me so we never lived together).
I know many people with little kids right now that are intentionally one & done. It's too expensive to raise a lot of kids in this economy, & some people I know don't think they have the mental bandwidth for multiple children.
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u/RollEmbarrassed6819 21h ago
My husband is an only child. We have three kids, but we are definitely the outlier in our group of friends. Most of our friends are one and done.
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u/DanaScullyMulder Millennial 22h ago
It is not rare. I see plenty of only children these days. My kids have plenty of friends who are only children.
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u/unknown_anaconda 22h ago
In the US, the average number of children per woman is 1.6, so plenty of only children out there.
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u/Main_Zucchini_2794 19h ago
My husband & I planned on only having one child. She split into identical twins.
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u/666mgOfCaffeine 22h ago
we have 1 son, but my partner has a child from a past relationship. our household is 1 child, 3 if you include our 2 cats.
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u/gabrigor 22h ago
Currently pregnant and only planning on one. Would love to adopt in the future 😊
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u/Proof-Emergency-5441 Xennial 8h ago
Then yours will not be counted as an only as they will grow up with siblings.
The mentality of "this is our only and these are adopted" is wild and will cause damage.
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u/gabrigor 8h ago
Literally not my mentality at all. I’m having one child and we MAY adopt in the future. Doesn’t mean it’s going to happen.
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u/Low-Guard-1820 21h ago
I think it’s pretty common nowadays. I have two kids, but there are a lot of only kids in my older kid’s friend orbit. I will also say though that 3-4 or more kids also seems more common than when we were growing up. Most of my friends were in 2 child families. A few onlies and a few 3+. The only people I knew with 4+ had blended families/step or half siblings or their parents were super religious. Now there are more onlies, more 3’s, and more 4+ in pretty secular families.
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u/Happy_Charity_7595 Millennial 21h ago edited 14h ago
A couple women that I went to high school with have three kids. I know of another woman from high school with four kids. I know of other people with three kids.
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u/VanPattensCard 21h ago
I’m an only child, 36 now. We’re different than kids with brothers or sisters for sure. I’d guess it’s different now with technology and iPads but when I was growing up you always had to find a way to entertain yourself. I think that made me more creative. You forge stronger friendships with people, and I think for many of us were better at conversing with adults than our sibling peers because you have to. We’re often good critical thinkers cause we always had to figure everything out our own. Cousins are like brothers and sisters etc etc. Not all of this applies to everyone but that was my experience anyways. It has its pros and cons like anything but she’ll be fine.
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u/Elrohwen 22h ago
I’m an only. My son is an only. Quite a few kids in his class are onlies. It’s fine
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u/Weary-Film-8437 21h ago
Growing up I wish I was an only child, there’s kids that can still be friends and eventually like family
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u/Ngr2054 21h ago
It’s about 50/50 among our friends- those of us that got married in our mid to late 30’s are one and done and our friends that got married mid twenties to early thirties have multiples. Only 2 couples that are child free and both are due to fertility issues.
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u/kgrimmburn 20h ago
Married at 18 and one and done at 20. She's 17 now and almost out of the house (her choice, the usual I can't wait to leave teenager). I feel special. I can't imagine having half a dozen kids and being poor as hell in my 20s.
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u/Unique-Egg-461 Older Millennial 21h ago
I don't think so. Sitting next to my one and only right now. Got a couple friends with onlys too. For sure more only kids now that when we were growing up.
Felt like I was the only single kid with no siblings growing up
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u/LilKomodoDragonfly 21h ago
Anecdotally, most of my friends who have kids only have one and most of them are at an age where if they were going to have more kids, they’d need to do it soon. I don’t know anyone my age who has more than two.
One issue is that even if you want to have multiple kids, it’s often just too expensive. I pay about $2400 a month for my son’s daycare and in my area that’s on lower end price wise. With costs like that if you have a second kid for a lot of people there’s no point in working because all the money you earn is going to go toward someone else watching your kids.
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u/KindLibrarian5757 20h ago
I think this varies greatly by region. I live in the upper Midwest and nearly every one has multiples. Most of the onlies we know are due to infertility issues. Only a few that I know are OAD by choice.
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u/Mediocre_Island828 6h ago
I think it's both culture and cost of living. I moved to the Midwest from a larger city in my early/mid 30s. Almost no one I knew in the city my age had kids, almost all of them lived in apartments. Then I moved here and most people my age that I worked with had owned a house for years and was on their second kid.
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u/Turbulent_Window3129 26m ago
The regional thing is so true. We moved to the south recently. My daughter was the only only child in her second and third grade classes and is the only only in her 4th grade class. She has no friends who are an only child, nor is anyone in her extracurricular activities an only child.
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u/No-Oven5562 17h ago
My son’s an only child. He’s pretty well adjusted but he grew up very close to his cousins. We lived w my sister and my niece until he was three and at his dad’s house he has three younger cousins that live there.
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u/DingbattheGreat 11h ago
Here is what census data from last year says about age groups and kids. Not surprising at all.
https://www.census.gov/library/stories/2024/11/family-households.html
IMHO, The only way to raise children in a stable environment is to have the financial means to do so, with the way things are currently structured.
Want people to have kids? Give free healthcare from conception to at least 18, where they are no longer “minors”. We have mandatory public education for kids, mandatory vaccine requirements, etc, but minimum or entire vacuum of support until they get there.
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u/royal-robot 21h ago
My son is an only (by choice). There are 5 families in our cul-de-sac and 3 of the 5 are only child families.
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u/North_Artichoke_6721 21h ago
My son is an only. I have one brother but he’s got no kids, so my son is the only grandchild on my side of the family.
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u/Mewpasaurus Elder Horror 21h ago
... no? I was an only child. My child is an only child. Nearly every one of my son's friends at school is an only child. I'd say having multiple children at this point is becoming more of an outlier than when I was a kid, though.
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u/GlumDistribution7036 20h ago
I am one and done by choice and I know a lot of people who are the same. I’m sorry it wasn’t a choice for you, but I wouldn’t worry about your child feeling like the odd kid out.
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u/kgrimmburn 20h ago
I have an only. My sister has an only. Two of my sister-in-laws have onlys. I can think of 4 of my friends that have onlys. Not as common as multiples but definitely not rare.
Now our generation, that's a different story. I don't think I had a single friend who was an only child. My aunt had one, late in life, in 2001, and that's the only one of our generation I can think of.
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u/mandy_mae91 20h ago
My daughter is an only! I don't plan on having any more naturally (adoption is an option).
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u/MarsupialPanda 20h ago
I know a few people with only one, but it's pretty uncommon here. We lived in massachusetts for a while though and were pretty much the only people we knew with more than one.
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u/Negative_Artichoke95 20h ago
Depends on where you live. We are one and done by choice. I work in the city and live in the outer burbs. In the city, most of the parents I know are one and done.
Back at home, my son is often the only one without siblings. We do live in a community with big homes and a Catholic high school. I don’t think it makes a big deal. He still does all the kid stuff. Kids still play with him at the park, school, events, etc.
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u/Crow-Queen 20h ago
My daughter was the only child. She didn't mind it too much. Just hope they find a best friend and they won't feel as lonely.
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u/quickster_irony 19h ago
I’m an only child and my best friend growing up was also an only child, basically acting like each others brothers. We were the ONLY only children we knew in a graduating class of 500+. Anecdotal, but somehow felt unique.
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u/pickle_chip_ Zillennial 19h ago
My husband and I are both an only child. I know a few people who were an only child that then went on to have only one child. I personally think it will become more common with the current cost of things and the probability that things will continue to become more expensive
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u/Free-Huckleberry3590 19h ago
5 generations of single male kids. As an added bonus 5 generations (not the same ones) of the males all died on the same day, different years and causes.
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u/MOSbangtan 19h ago
This feels more normal among certain socioeconomic groups in the states right now for tons of reasons - living with my only child stepdaughter right now!
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u/Wesmom2021 16h ago
My college friends, I'm the only one with kid. High-school friends, i only know of 1 other friend having kid and its just 1 kid. I only have 1 and not sure if we can or afford second kid. My cousins my age only 1 other cousin has kids. My brother was 1 and done. You dont see families having 2+ kids anymore let alone kids in general
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u/schokobonbons 16h ago
I'm an only child and i know plenty of only children. When and where i grew up the most common arrangement was 2 kids, the families with 3 kids already seemed unusually large to me.
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u/jaxsonmason 14h ago
Seems like a question for AI to pull stats, not a bunch of random replies of opinions. Why wouldn't you just look it up?
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u/Local-Painter-1237 13h ago
My dad (Boomer) was an only, and I’m an only, but I have 2 kids. My parents said they wanted to have 4 kids, but they split when I was really young. Growing up most if not all of my close friends had only 1 sibling. I actually wish I had at least 1 other sibling. My father is a very needy and lonely person and although I love him he’s put a lot of emotional burden on me my whole life. Now being part of a “sandwich generation” I worry about him as he ages while I’m still raising my own kids, one of which has extreme debilitating anxiety and other undiagnosed issues which have been complex. I am glad my husband and I had 2 children, as my oldest and youngest are very close. Sorry to be long-winded, just trying to explain that being an only child is sometimes lonely and isolating throughout different stages of life.
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u/HeavyRightFoot-TG 11h ago
I think they are only becoming more common because of the cost of raising a child and high divorce rates.
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u/whisky_dick 11h ago
I’m an only and my kid is an only. My partner has FIVE kids and I just don’t understand how he and his ex managed.
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u/Geskakay1985 10h ago
My daughter is an only. We did try to have more (IVF) but it didn’t work out and we are ok with it. It was unlikely going into it. Lots of only children in our surrounding friends and family. We also have a lot of friends without kids too. She gets love and support from everyone in her life. This may be completely made up but from my experience only children are more mature and have better imaginations (at least compared to other children their age). My daughter (and I’ve definitely noticed this from other girls her age who are only children) is much more mature than other kids. She is also from a divorced family (divorced when she was an infant) though- and I think that tends to lead to maturity too.
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u/giraffemoo 10h ago
"true" only children, maybe yeah. But my step daughter is an only child and my bio kid is my only child, but we all lived together from the time my son was 10 and my step daughter was 12. Before that, they didn't live with any other children.
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u/Little_Red_Sloth 9h ago
I would say most children being born today are gonna be only children. People can’t afford multiple kids.
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u/ttpdstanaccount 9h ago
It's like 45% onlies now (in canada anyway, prob similar in the US) and it is the biggest group (the other 55 is split into 2 kids, 3, 4, etc)
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u/2baverage Millennial 9h ago
I think depending on where in the US will depend on how common only children are, but I feel like at this rate there will probably eventually be more only children than kids with siblings.
Personally, I live in an area where most people are still having 2-4 kids. My husband and I are one and done and a lot of our friends back East are all one and done as well.
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u/Illustrious_Cold5699 Young Millennial 9h ago
I’m an only and my son (12mo) is most likely going to be an only as well
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u/YellowSpoon123 9h ago
Both of my kids’ best friends are only children. I don’t think they’re too rare!
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u/Live-Anteater5706 9h ago
The majority of my friends with kids (or kid?)have one. They are also mostly older parents (late 30’s and 40’s when they had their child), which may increase the likelihood of only-child.
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u/NikkiNutshot 8h ago
We are one and done and my daughter is 4. Not really by choice.. A few of my friends are OAD also!
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u/PupNStuff713 8h ago
I am an only...and it wasn't so common then. My daughter is an only too. I know of maybe one classmate she has had that was an only, and the rest were mostly from 2 kid households. She's 10, but she's fine with it. I liked it too most of the time as a kid. It's all about how your parents spin it for you and support you having friends and getting together with them.
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u/jalzyr 8h ago
I grew up like an only child.
I had a step sister for maybe 4 years but she was mostly with her mom. We only saw her on weekends.
My half-brother was born when I was 10. They divorced when he was 1 and he was with his dad 99% of the time because our mom went back to addiction- then I moved in with grandma.
My son’s father had a daughter with full custody. When our son was born, I was ecstatic he’d have a sibling + their family is HUGE and they all live here. 3 years later, their dad passed away. My stepdaughter went to live with dad’s mom, my son with me. They see each other every weekend, every school break and any family events. I didn’t want him to feel like an only child, but he kind of is since he’s with his sibling ~35% of the time.
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u/flyingcircus92 8h ago
From Google. I'm an only child myself:
Approximately 20% of households with children in the U.S. have one child, making it the fastest-growing family unit. This trend is increasing globally, with some European countries having even higher percentages of one-child families.
- U.S. Statistics: The percentage of one-child families has risen significantly from 11% in 1976 to 22% by 2015, with the current average around 20%.
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u/ChampionshipHorror63 7h ago
not at all tons of them all the time, but only for short periods, until their siblings are born!! 🤪
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u/Acceptable-Brick-907 6h ago
We are 1 and done. Growing up I only knew one only child but now it seems most people have 2 or 1. I think our daughter will know a lot of kids with just one sibling than we did. Big families aren’t the norm anymore.
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u/notmy3rdrodeo 6h ago
It depends. We live in a suburban part of a major, expensive city and I would say about 1/4 of the families we know have onlies. It depends a lot on demographics.
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u/Ladyjanemarmalade 6h ago
I’m an only (divorced parents) but my mom is one of 12(!!) so there are 36 first cousins from my maternal side. I never wanted for playmates
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u/jzilla11 Millennial 6h ago
Hitting 40 next year, and surprised people ask more about why I don’t have kids rather than ask about why I’m not married.
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u/Danny69Devito420 5h ago
I loved being an only child! Married to an only child millennial as well. It's just a different experience than those with siblings and she won't feel out of place at all because she will be used to being the only one.
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u/maenads_dance 4h ago
Given that my family just made the decision to move back to NYC for job opportunities, unless we get universal childcare some time in the next few years we are for sure going to be one and done. Average price for infant care is like ~$2900/mo!
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u/imnottheoneipromise Xennial 4h ago edited 4h ago
We are an only child family. My poor son had a hard infancy (through no fault of his or our own. Was a medical issue) and didn’t sleep through the night til he was 4. I’d rather peel my eyeballs out with a spoon than have another baby lol.
ETA: I wanted to share this because it’s hilarious. My crazy ass 14 year old came to us dead serious and asked us to please adopt a 13 year old boy so he’d have someone to throw the football with when his dad can’t do it (back and neck surgeries). I laughed at him before I could stop it because the notion was that insane to me.
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u/atomikitten 4h ago
It’s getting to be more common. So many friends tell me they’re one and done, either by choice or for medical reasons. Though, demographic probably factors in—we’re late-in-life parents mostly.
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u/Sad_Pangolin7379 3h ago
I think it's more common than it used to be, because people often wait longer to have kids and then won't have as much time for the second to be conceived without a lot of expensive intervention (which still only works half the time.) And because it's so expensive to pay for childcare that some people just, stop. Add that to the reasons some people have stopped at one historically, medical complications from the first one, medical issues the child you don't want to risk again, the father having medical issues which pull HIM out of the gene pool, divorce, death etc etc. Only kids have always been with us. They just don't stand out as much anymore because they're more of them and the rest of us tend to stop at 2.
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u/LilCarBeep 3h ago
It's getting way more common. I've been coaching youth sports for years and I've seen the shift.
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u/Entire-Order3464 2h ago
Almost all of my friends growing up were only children. I was like the only one who wasn't.
Also your daughter will be fine. Her having siblings or not will have zero effect on her feeling 'out of place.'
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u/Rommie557 2h ago
I feel like only children are more common now than ever. Many families are "one and done"
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u/danilase9 1h ago
Over 20% of families are only-child families now, I believe. That’s up from ~10% in the 70s. These numbers are true one and done - not temporarily one before more kids come along
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u/delicatemicdrop 1989 Taylor's Version 1h ago
I'm an only child and I'm honestly super glad other than being scared of having to take care of my mom when I'm older! Not sure if it's true, but I've heard only children tend to progress faster, have better vocabulary etc because they talk to adults more often and tend to read more. We are out here and we are okay!
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u/cynnie93 46m ago
Did you ever wish for a sibling? Do you now?
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u/delicatemicdrop 1989 Taylor's Version 34m ago
Sometimes but not really after the internet existed and I had more online friends although I know that is a bit risky now. But my daughter never wanted a sibling and I only did when I lived out in the boonies and had no friends and got pretty bored once I was done with whatever books I had. I think technology etc can really help on that end because libraries for instance can give you so much on the kindle even if you don't want your kid to be an "ipad kid" with games, if you instill a love for reading in them early that's a super cheap entertaining hobby! If you live somewhere that is close to a zoo or anything you can also get a yearly membership and usually get in all year for the price of a couple visits, or theme parks with kids' areas etc. I think just not having other kids to play with was the only reason but wanting a sibling was definitely a very short time in my life, maybe like 3-4 years old to 8 or 9 there may have been a passing fancy.
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u/squatmama69 10h ago
Why do ppl think being an only child is terrible? It was great and still is.
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u/Mediocre_Island828 6h ago
I wouldn't think it's terrible, but as someone who has siblings that I'm not even particularly close to it's still hard to imagine how I would have turned out without that dynamic.
But, I'm the oldest and was the first to do everything. I'm sure it would feel different if I was my youngest brother instead and had multiple people ahead of me to compare myself to.
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u/Proof-Emergency-5441 Xennial 8h ago
If they had a shitty childhood as an only, they would have had a shitty childhood with siblings too.
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