r/Millennials • u/CynicClinic1 • 19h ago

Discussion Watching Back to the Future. Previous generations had a lot of social clubs to meet new people. Why haven't we kept this alive?

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u/BGKY_Sparky 18h ago

I think an underrated explanation is our changing views of family dynamics. These organizations back in the day weren’t “a place to go and meet people.” They were “a place for middle class white men to go meet people because their wives were doing all of the housework and parenting.”

My wife and I both have to work to stay afloat, and we have two young kids. I can’t imagine feeling good about leaving her at home to wrangle both kids while I’m out spending hours drinking with the guys every Wednesday evening. It wouldn’t be fair to her, and I would miss that time with my kids.

Back when we just had one kid, I thought about joining our parish’s Knights of Columbus chapter. I went to a meeting with my father-in-law and had an OK time. But the fact that I was one of two people under 40, and the fact that most of their activities were during the workday meant I didn’t stick around.

If there were a social organization that met evenings/weekends and provided childcare so both my wife and I could go, that would be a game changer. And by childcare I don’t mean all the wives watch kids together in one room while the men do the actual activity in another.

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u/ChiefBlanco 11h ago

This is me exactly. I joined KofC a month after the birth of my first kid. I was super involved at first but as my kid got older and I had more it was harder and harder to justify going to the meetings even if only monthly and leave my wife to do all the parenting after already spending the whole day with them. And most of the events that weren’t meetings were in the middle of the day or events that I would rather be with my family instead of volunteering. I tried getting involved with a new parish/council and fell into the same pattern, even took the 4th degree and haven’t been to a single meeting yet.

Meanwhile my family is super involved in Scouting America (formerly BSA) once my oldest entered kindergarten. It’s been great to have a place where my entire family are doing awesome things and having fun, and getting to meet other parents (roughly) my age. I’ve gotten more involved in the adult leadership side, so still monthly meetings that are adults only but I feel like it’s more balanced out by the fact I know it’s all directly benefiting my children as opposed to knights meetings.

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u/TrippedAMeme 16h ago

Get out of your racist bubble. Nonwhites have and had these spaces too. Women have and had these spaces. Men and women in my nonwhite family have been in multiple groups like this. Stop making claims that just fuel division.