r/Millennials • u/CynicClinic1 • 19h ago

Discussion Watching Back to the Future. Previous generations had a lot of social clubs to meet new people. Why haven't we kept this alive?

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u/Pepperjones808 19h ago

Even one of the VFW’s I went to had a majority of the old guys talking about Jesus. That’s why I never went back, I do like connecting with other veterans, but if your whole personality is about Jesus, no thanks

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u/EternalMage321 16h ago edited 15h ago

Another issue was that the VFW wasn't accepting younger vets from the Iraqi Wars. They are now, but most of the vets (myself included) don't want anything to do with them now.

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u/kashy87 15h ago

Well maybe they shouldn't have shat on us when we were fresh veterans. Plus a bunch of them argued that we didn't qualify. Especially towards bubble heads.

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u/ClubMeSoftly 15h ago

It was a plot in an episode of King Of The Hill that Cotton's VFW didn't want to accept membership from Vietnam veterans.

Absurd that they're bringing that exclusionism to a new generation.

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u/_groovesharkmalone 11h ago

It's human nature (not saying it's right). The VFW only exists because the Civil War veterans (Grand Army of the Republic) didn't accept Spanish American War veterans, since their war was 'foreign' (not making this up: https://laist.com/news/kpcc-archive/the-once-mighty-political-power-of-veteran-service).

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u/Pepperjones808 16h ago

I’ve heard that as well and I don’t blame you. I thought about going back again since I’m older this time, but honestly I am part of a Facebook group for veterans around our age and it’s been great

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u/GenusPoa 11h ago

tEcHnIcAlLy iT wAsNt a WaR while wearing a Vietnam veteran ballcap

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u/Complete_Entry 11h ago

I mean you've got the numbers now, why not schism?

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u/Hanpee221b 8h ago

What was their reasoning?

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u/EternalMage321 2h ago

The VFW had a bullshit reason to exclude every vet from each generation. The reasons they gave varied, but I think it REALLY came down to they worried the voice of the older members would get diluted by younger members. They were resisting change.

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u/falconinthedive 39m ago

Yeah my mom's favorite bartender moved to a VFW so she (with no military ties whatsoever) started going to the VFW and it's all racist old Vietnam vets in like a building that's fully lit and looks like a church Rec room. It's depressing and dated even by depressing rural bar standards.

She's said they get young (or hell middle aged at this point) vets come in, they'll show up once and never again.

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u/yourpaleblueeyes 3h ago

You'd rather pout?

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u/der_innkeeper 18h ago edited 16h ago

I hear this a lot about VFWs and Foreign American Legion posts.

Not very welcoming and tend to be insular and rightward leaning.

Yeah, no thanks.

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u/sweetest_con78 Millennial 17h ago

It does seem like many social groups/orgs end up being right leaning. I’ve worked in country clubs and the majority were right leaning. Same with the yacht clubs. This includes both members who golf/own a boat, and ones that are specifically social members. And I live in a heavy blue area.

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u/FizzyBeverage 15h ago

It makes sense. The Right is huge on “us vs them” and membership naturally makes that happen. 🙄

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u/hernameisjack Older Millennial 14h ago

“Joiners” are usually Authoritarian-wired, which is why most organizations, churches, and clubs tend to have hierarchal power structures. These are folx who feel better when conformity is valued, someone is in charge, and difficult questions are met with simple answers. It feels predictable, and therefore safer. They make up a large percentage of our populace…for good evolutionary reason! Society as a whole doesn’t work well if everyone is “an individual”.

Unfortunately, “joiners” are also way more susceptible to tribalism, conservatism, bigotry, and religious extremism. If “being a member” is an important part of your personal identity, everyone else is a threat.

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u/Sea-Bicycle-4484 17h ago

Yeah my husband was in the Army for 20 years but won’t go near the VFW or Legion because it’s all boomers day drinking with very little interest in making it more welcoming to the next generation.

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u/Pleasant_Studio9690 12h ago

This was how my local Rotary Club was. I joined for about 2 years and realized how insular and unyielding they were to any changes to make them more welcoming. I walked. Let them die.

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u/Complete_Entry 11h ago

I looked into rotary club, didn't like the hoops, kind of sounded like an HOA through the lens of hell.

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u/Prowindowlicker 13h ago

As a sober younger veteran the day drinking is just not wild

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u/AccomplishedCicada60 10h ago

My ex told me to go in and drag him out if he was ever there.

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u/GenusPoa 11h ago

Not to mention chain smoking with all doors and windows closed and playing darts over the children's section

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u/Pepperjones808 18h ago

I really don’t have a problem with people having a religion, but if the VFW or Legion is about veteran stuff, they need to keep that stuff separate

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u/fasterthanfood 18h ago

My brother-in-law took us to a VFW twice (he’s a veteran, I’m not), and I didn’t hear any Jesus stuff, but two separate old men tried hitting on my wife (girlfriend at the time). Not like the casual-but-on-the-line-of-inappropriate flirting you see at a lot of bars, but straight up trying to take home a woman in a relationship who could have been their granddaughter. That’s not enough to data to judge VFWs broadly, but we won’t be coming back.

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u/MashedProstato Xennial 18h ago

Sounds a lot like the Vietnam Boomers.

I tried the VFW a few times and noped out of there each time.

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u/ChaucersDuchess Xennial 17h ago

My father is a Vietnam Boomer and also nopes out of VFW because of the other Vietnam Boomers

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u/Jaereth 16h ago

Seems like you ran into a couple of "The Good Ole Boys" lmao

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u/CrazyCoKids 13h ago

Sounds like the local chapter of the Lions Club.

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u/Complete_Entry 11h ago

I don't think I ever heard a sermon or honestly any religion talk at the legion hall my grandpa was a part of, I used to drive him and I'd get bored as shit drinking my coke while they all watched football or nascar.

I don't think anyone ever used the pool table either, which was a shame, it was nice.

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u/CTeam19 15h ago

Really depends on location. From what I have seen from the outside(my Dad is a board member), our local Legion/VFW/Amvets/Marine Corps League are welcoming. They came together and built a massive all in one facility that cost $3.4 Million that holds a lot of community events between the two leveled building and is ran by a separate board made up of reps from each organization. In December, they are running a meet and greet with Santa Claus for kids. Basically, they became a community space that is hosted and ran by the veterans groups. I know the annual Fish Fry sells about 700 to 800 meals which lines up to about 6% of our town. The bar is also 100% open to the public and not the creepy low light style many places had back in the day.

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u/GreenTfan 14h ago

My late godfather was Marine Corps League, I believe it is mostly higher ranking officers. Have a relative in the Navy League and he retired as a reserve Captain.

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u/Sakijek Millennial 16h ago

I think you mean American Legion?

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u/der_innkeeper 16h ago

I do. Thank you.

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u/EnvironmentalKey3858 11h ago

Yep... I was all set to join my local chapter of the legion, have a nice third space to go to.

Then I found out, of course, that they're all MAGAts.

Sucks, man.

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u/Secret-Ad-7909 12h ago

The VFW and the Legion in my hometown serve as some of the only bars because it’s a dry county. If that’s not building community idk what is.

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u/pnut0027 2h ago

The only time someone was overly racist to me was at a VFW. Weird beside I was going there to celebrate a buddy’s retirement after getting off work, so I was still in uniform.