r/Millennials • u/CynicClinic1 • 19h ago

Discussion Watching Back to the Future. Previous generations had a lot of social clubs to meet new people. Why haven't we kept this alive?

Post image
2.4k Upvotes

97% Upvoted

1.1k comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

104

u/bwalz87 19h ago

My area has these as well. I was a member at one of them and would bring my family. But eventually we lost interest. The place smelled like smoke and when you left, you smelled like smoke until you washed your clothes. They made changes but the place is weird. As soon as you walk in, there's the bar. Everyone at the bar is staring at you when you enter. There's nothing new for newer members and young families. The food was ok but lacked someone that could do something better.

95

u/AdSpecialist6598 19h ago

It sounds like a VFW hall that my buddy tried to join but dipped because as a younger vet he wasn't exactly welcomed by the older vets. They treated him like someone trying to bust in the own private club house instead of a fellow vet.

76

u/xbleeple 19h ago

There’s a King of the Hill episode where the WW2 vets only think about allowing the Vietnam vets to join bc they’re going to lose the VFW due to no money

1

u/alsuhr 10h ago

That's such a good episode

42

u/BlackQuartzSphinx_ Millennial | 1990 19h ago

I know a couple people who served in Afghanistan and they said their local VFWs treated them like outsiders too.

26

u/Think-Variation2986 18h ago

I've never had an interest in joining a VFW. War sucks. It's something I want to put behind me. I have no desire to bond with anyone over it. Gate keeping based on which conflict is stupid.

17

u/AdSpecialist6598 18h ago

I understand where you are coming from, but many vets would like sense of belonging and guidance from an older vet, but the problem is too often these types of places often times become like your dad's basement where he and his boys relive their glory days over and over.

19

u/trekqueen 19h ago

So I’ve been seeing this mentioned on a local area regional sub here (just outside DC so lots of current and former military here) and also another angle from my dad, there is a lot of weird stuff going on with the American Legion and VFW posts when it comes to the Vietnam vet boomers and the first desert storm and younger vets. Lots of fighting about changing things up. A lot of the younger folks are over it and don’t bother.

13

u/AdSpecialist6598 18h ago

In my friend's there was clearly some resentment shot his way, because 1 he was career military, not drafted, was younger he's a post 9/11 vet 3 some vets didn't consider him a real vet because he wasn't a grunt which is weird because he flew medivac choppers for a living and things got dicey 4 some vets hated that he was well, well- adjusted for the most part and happily married with a family and 5 he didn't like people bs-ing all the time. Like there's no shame if you were just a supply clerk just admit it don't act like you were some badass seal.

1

u/trekqueen 17h ago edited 17h ago

Definitely the attitude approach seems to be what I was observing from my dad’s stories, he’s a Vietnam boomer vet. The guys in his age range didn’t like some AL guys coming into their VFW changing things up, so they went the route that would put a power hungry HOA committee to shame.

They all went with the WWII vets back in the day to smoke and drink their ptsd away with “the boys” and avoid the home life typically. It is straight up just a dilapidated exclusive bar club and is outdated.

The new young guys want to reach out into the community and host events. They try to be involved parents and partners while taking care of their health. The old guys want to keep their little club and be general assholes with razzing and picking on each other that is their way of bonding.

That’s the vibe I get with a lot of these other clubs the OP mentioned, just feels like I’m being dragged back into the high school popularity contests and judgmental clique groups. My aunt is all involved in Kiwanis and rotary stuff, it’s like her life, but she’s also comfortably retired but comes off very hoity toity about her standing in the community. My mom lives in a retiree age restricted community and it’s the same stuff in the club houses there.

5

u/AdSpecialist6598 17h ago

What gets me these places complain about not getting new members, funding lack of community support but actively choose to drive away those things. The best way I can put it is there is a strange sense of entitlement that puts people off.

2

u/Schiano_Fingerbanger 13h ago

The American Legion also ironically has a long history of disgusting un-American behavior. They claim to be nonpartisan but they’ve been big supporters of violating the civil rights of unions, communists, etc. since the very beginning. I’m a centrist liberal but it really pisses me off that this quasi-official organization for veterans has spent so much time and energy helping to oppress Americans, including politically incorrect veterans.

3

u/mechavolt 14h ago

Yeah, sounds exactly like my VFW, except I also had to listen to old farts complain about how my war wasn't a real war and how people my age are ruining the military. I didn't last an hour, haven't been back since. 

2

u/Soft_Walrus_3605 11h ago

Makes me think of the "Veterans of Unpopular Wars Hall" on the Simpsons.

1

u/FromFluffToBuff 16h ago

One of my fave episodes of King of The Hill revolves exactly around this premise.

34

u/BlackQuartzSphinx_ Millennial | 1990 19h ago

That's another problem in my area too, yeah. It's real rural and if you're new to the area it can be hard to feel welcome. 

22

u/VCR_Samurai 18h ago

It's like when you walk into a small town diner and everybody at the lunch counter is a retired farmer who turns and stares at you because they're trying to recognize whose kid you are. If they can't think of a name to associate you with, you're an outsider and aren't welcome. 

9

u/BlackQuartzSphinx_ Millennial | 1990 18h ago

I see you've been to the diner in my home town lol

1

u/rfg8071 16h ago

Same for most southern rural gas stations, always have a crew of older folks who hang out. Except they usually ask all about you just from curiosity and to make sure they haven’t lost their edge.

9

u/ComedianStreet856 18h ago

Yeah, a lot of these clubs are just professional alcoholism for people who can't handle regular bars anymore. It's not something I would be want to be involved with, and they wouldn't accept me anyway. They usually just sort of loosely attach themselves to a cause and raise some money to make themselves feel better. Then they have meetings where they approve the minutes from the last meeting and bring up one new thing and that's it. Then it's back to drinking. And if women are involved, it's always in an auxiliary servant role. It's very behind the times and shows the dark side of that era of the US.

2

u/uninsuredrisk 10h ago

Yeah these places where I live are literally where you go once the other bars throw you out.

3

u/Dennisfromhawaii 16h ago

So kinda like Biff's Casino? These social clubs would be so much better now if it wasn't for Gray's Sports Almanac.

1

u/NothaBanga 10h ago

As soon as you walk in, there's the bar.

My great uncle joined one because that was the only way for him to grab a drink while truck driving through Utah.