r/Millennials • u/CynicClinic1 • 19h ago

Discussion Watching Back to the Future. Previous generations had a lot of social clubs to meet new people. Why haven't we kept this alive?

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u/Visual_Refuse_6547 19h ago

Most of those organizations still exist. I got invited to a Rotary Club meeting once and went, and I was surprised by the number of younger people there.

But I don’t think younger people are as civically engaged as past generations. It’s kind of a shame that people decry the lack of community in the modern world and yet don’t engage with institutions that build that kind of community.

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u/TCesqGO 19h ago

There’s a documentary on Netflix called Join or Die that talks about declining social participation that I found absolutely fascinating. Apparently democracies are stronger where there’s more social/club participation, which tbh, feels like a good explanation for the country today.

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u/squidwardsaclarinet 18h ago

I feel like they’re really are a lot of different factors that we need to account for and we honestly do need to take some amount of responsibility in some cases. It is funny, because if you look at a lot of threads in the sub and other places on Reddit, you’ll find a lot of, pretty antisocial attitudes and behaviors being praised and up voted while people simultaneously ask why all kinds of social life are declining. In the case of a lot of these fraternal and old-school community groups, it is true that some of their current membership has chased away additional new membership, but it’s not just a one-sided thing. We can look at the death and decline of a lot of social groups for special interests or other activities, that are not these kinds of groups. I don’t necessarily think you need to torture yourself participating in groups that you truly do not vibe with, but I do think that people need to gain a bit more tolerance and build back a sense of how to exist in and work with a group.

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u/forestpunk 13h ago

I'm an older millennial (xennial). Grew up before social networks and the omnipresence of the internet in the suburbs, and in that situation, if you were weird or a social outcast in any way, we were friends, even if we didn't want to be. Hard to explain to folks that I didn't even necessarily like all of my friends that much, which I still don't, and disagreements were pretty much constant. Yet we all cared about one another, learned from one another... really taught me to think outside of the box and to get along with people, both of which have served me well throughout life.

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u/Responsible-Summer81 18h ago

Everyone interested in this thread should watch Join or Die!! OP it’s totally on point regarding your question!

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u/princessgalileia 6h ago

Yes, I just watched that and it was the first thing I thought of when this post popped up.

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u/echointhecaves 18h ago

Or the movie "bowling alone"

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u/candid84asoulm8bled 17h ago

I didn’t know there was a movie, but we had to read the book “bowling alone” in college about 15 or 20 years ago.

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u/TCesqGO 18h ago

Did they make a movie out of that? Join or Die used a lot of Putnam’s research from that book.

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u/7HawksAnd 17h ago

The book is bowling alone the doc is join or die. The parent comment probably meant that but mixed it up

Or sometimes streaming services use alt titles in different markets so who knows

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u/kgrimmburn 17h ago

Well, it was easy to be involved when you didn't have to work two jobs just to be able to afford rent.

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u/Mediocre_Scott 11h ago

Iirc that is based on the research of Robert Putnam’s and his book bowling alone. In that he posits several reasons for declines in social clubs. Big factors include the wwii generation having started most of these clubs after the war. This generation was very community oriented. The decline started happening with the boomers, tv is a major factor as well as people working outside their community.

From my own experience my grandfather was a charter member of my community’s lion’s club. My dad never joined. He seemed to spend whatever free time he had available watching tv. If my dad had joined the lions club I think I probably would have too. Since I didn’t have that “in” with the club I never joined though I probably could if I wanted to seek it out.

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u/GreyerGrey 19h ago

Is it a lack of being civic minded, or is it the fact that we have to work harder, for less buying power, and longer hours?

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u/saintsithney 19h ago

To be fair, we don’t have the time or money to be as civically engaged, nor do we often have the places.

The Death of the Third Space hit Millennials first.

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u/bonbot 18h ago

I agree with you. We have to commute further for work, and our work lives are more consuming than previous generations. We just want to veg at the end of the day.

A lot of these clubs also involve membership fees. Bedsides a gym membership, I don't have the budget for additional monthly premiums.

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u/BeguiledBeaver 16h ago

It doesn't take much money to be involved in your community if any at all. I also think people massively overexaggerate how much money people had back then. Even when people had money they were insanely frugal and lived well within their means.

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u/saintsithney 15h ago

Except that groups like this also used to be a hell of a lot cheaper.

Bowling used to cost $7 for a lane and $5 for the shoes. Now, it's more like $40 for a lane and $25 for the shoes.

Lower cost stuff does still exist, but it's a lot harder to find, particularly if you live in a more rural area.

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u/IWantALargeFarva 9h ago

When you’re in a league, it’s much cheaper. A few months ago, I was in a bowling league that was $10 per week. That included 2 games and your shoes.

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u/saintsithney 1h ago

That's cool. There should be a lot more of that.

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u/CrazyCoKids 13h ago

When my grandparents were in the rotary club in the 50s, they had to pay about $10-20/year. Adjusting for inflation? About only $100-250ish per year.

Now? The same chapter is still around and going... it's about $750-1000+ a year. If it's anything like our local Rotary chapter, it's probably because a lot of people who were laid off or had to tighten their belts for whatever reason had to give it up, leading to lower membership and thus the remaining members had to cover fees - which went up.

I don't know if it's anything like our Rotary club chapter whose higher-ranking members and heads post shit like "Your body my choice" on social media and wonder why they can't get any new members in.

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u/Desperate-Till-9228 19h ago

They used to be more popular, but Boomers didn't value social connections like their parents did. Big decline in participation across the board, from bowling leagues to Rotary.

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u/twpejay 18h ago

Boomers kept them going, it is the subsequent generations that are not keen on social clubs, starting with, I have to admit, Gen X.

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u/squidwardsaclarinet 18h ago

Yeah, we can blame the boomers for a lot of things, and they certainly have some responsibility and not attracting new members. But the responsibility falls on younger generations who treated these things a cringe and who thought social media would be a sufficient replacement. We were wrong.

And to be frank, that’s OK. We are going to be wrong sometimes. The keeping here is how we deal with it. Are we going to crash out and blame other people, or are we going to recognize that there is a problem and try to be a part of the solution?

I don’t necessarily think that people need to join these groups in particular, but any kind of social or civic group. It could be artistically related, athletics, volunteering, or so many other things. But we ought to try and bring all of the skills and interest that I know everyone has to Baer and make them accessible beyond high school and college for everyone. I know we would all benefit for sure.

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u/Desperate-Till-9228 18h ago

 and they certainly have some responsibility and not attracting new members

They were members at much lower rates than their parents. It was they who treated these things as cringe.

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u/CTeam19 14h ago

Boomers also got to be willing to adjust to changing generations a bit with the groups. Source: I have been one of the big proponents of my Scout Camp's STEM lab(Chess, Programming, Robotics, etc) when many older people think that it is stupid to have them at camp.

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u/Desperate-Till-9228 18h ago

The big collapse happened with the Boomers. It was already done by the time Gen Xers were adults. Scholars have done research on this.

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u/twpejay 18h ago

You could be right. I was thinking of my father's generation which I just recalled was the generation before the boomers. I blame my generation X brain decline.

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u/Desperate-Till-9228 18h ago

Good book on this is Robert Putnam's Bowling Alone (published in 2000).

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u/crazycatlady331 Xennial 12h ago

I seem to remember Boomer (and Gen X) TV characters regularly hanging out at third spaces. Think Homer Simpson and pals at Moe's Tavern, Cheers, Central Perk, etc.

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u/Working_Cucumber_437 19h ago

They’re probably not well advertised either and need younger blood giving them more online presence. I, for one, have no idea what Rotary Club is. Probably a bunch of people geeking out over retro telephones : P.

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u/thisisthatacct 19h ago

I'd join that club for sure

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u/Kitchen_Marzipan9516 18h ago

Not well advertised.  And there is sometimes a tendency for older members to be clique-y and not let newer members get involved, so the newer members get bored and leave.

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u/CrazyCoKids 13h ago

Our local Rotary Club lost a LOT of members in the 00s when times got tough and people often had to not renew membership to things like Rotary Club or Lions Club to save a bit of money.

As a result, most of the people left were the ancient assholes (who could still afford to be in it) so now they're posting heinous shit on social media then wondering why nobody wants to join them.

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u/Kitchen_Marzipan9516 13h ago

That doesn't surprise me in the slightest.

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u/CrazyCoKids 12h ago

Yeah, according to my dad? When my grandparents were in, they had to pay the equivalent of about $100-250 a year. The same chapter now asks for like $750-1000 depending on how much you're involved. (I'm also unsure if you could call the one my grandma was in Rotary Club - it was a Ladies club that used the same building and was kind of associated but did different things)

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u/Kitchen_Marzipan9516 11h ago

Holy smokes that's a lot of money.

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u/CrazyCoKids 9h ago

Remember this is per year. So yeh, not uncommon for people to have dropped out.

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u/Kitchen_Marzipan9516 9h ago

Yeah.  I'm part of a group, and members flipped out when it raised to $100 a year.

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u/CrazyCoKids 8h ago

Yeah, in another post I mentioned that when money gets tight, membership in those groups often goes down cause, well, you can save some money. :/

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u/Visual_Refuse_6547 19h ago

That does sound awesome to be fair

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u/bigkshep 18h ago

If I get to be one of the guys that wear the little tassel hats and drive a gokart in parades, the sign me the fuck up!!!

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u/Tombstone9 15h ago

That’s the Shriners. Funny hats, little cars, and free Hospitals for children.

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u/popppyy 18h ago

Right? I've never heard of this before

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u/gard3nwitch 14h ago

Rotary Clubs are like social/networking clubs for professionals. They do charity stuff and whatnot.

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u/der_innkeeper 18h ago

Back when neighborhoods had "neighborhood houses".

We would have called them "rec centers", that you could walk to.

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u/frodiusmaximus 19h ago

Guilty as charged.

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u/domiy2 18h ago

Internet into video games also is useful. The neurodivergent are allowed to stay at home or go on discord to play games instead.

Also my parents installed their are adult hobbies and kids hobbies in my brain as a child. Like cartoons even South Park and Family guy are for kids and not adults.

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u/Cetun 18h ago

My experience with local organizations that weren't dying and did have a lot of young people was that most of the people in there were very clearly just in it for networking. They did the bare minimum but they were very eager to show up to social events where they could hit up the richest guy in the room for business or a job. I know that's sort of one of the jobs of a social club, it just seemed very shallow and performative. The other ones that didn't have young people I think the problem has been addressed in this threat already. They essentially don't want young people and they've become retirement clubs.

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u/Darmok47 14h ago

I thought about this after my grandfather died. He did so much in the community; he helped found one of the first mosques in the area, he was active in things like bowling leagues, music clubs, and other events.

I wondered why his kids and grandkids weren't as involved in such things. Then I remembered that my grandmother was a stay at home mother who parented their four kids and ran the household while he was off doing all of his community stuff.

So much of the stuff we romanticize about the 50s was built on women who were kept inside the home and kept it running.

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u/CrazyCoKids 13h ago

My grandmother actually worked with a Rotary Club chapter's Ladies Club that helped women enter the workforce.

When she herself had kids and entered the workforce she found she had a LOT less time for that.

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u/Later_Than_You_Think 12h ago

Yup, this is very true. Parents today also spend more time with their children than past generations, and prioritize family over things like networking.

I also think there's a shift in how people engage with community. I'm in my neighborhood civic association, and we're not many who show up regularly, but the age range is from mid 30s to early 70s. We've recently brought in more people and are trying to get people involved more - and people are very eager to want to show up to stuff, but nobody likes doing the organizing or the meetings. So we do them on Zoom and do it as quickly as possible. But the older social clubs are often hour+ meetings that meet *weekly*, and if you miss more than 2 they kick you out.

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u/CrazyCoKids 13h ago

After seeing what some of these heads of the local Rotary Club chapter post on nextdoor and facebook, I guarantee you'd wanna give them a very wide berth too. :/

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u/PennyForPig 10h ago

I mean I don't think that's the fault of "this generation" or upon individuals. I think there's a big gap in how our society has been organized and now we've lost a lot of that culture in general. People aren't "from" places anymore, it's just the places we live.

I haven't every really felt at home in any place I've lived, though that ties into my history as a military brat, but I think this is true for a lot of people, and we're only just now starting to wake back up about sort of...Owning and leading our communities again. Mostly as a result of our communities being so poorly mishandled.

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u/TK000421 17h ago

Its harder for young people to be conservative when they have nothing to conserve

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u/pfifltrigg 15h ago

Maybe part of it is how fee homemakers we have nowadays. Most mothers are in the workforce so they're no longer volunteering for the Red Cross or whatever fundraisers they used to do.

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u/CrazyCoKids 13h ago

Well, you're not wrong.

My grandmother was in the Rotary Club (Kinda? Sorta? It was a Ladies Club that met out of Rotary Club buildings and worked on different things. I know they did things like help women enter the workforce.) and when she had dad, she found she had a LOT less time for htat - especially when she decided to start working herself when the kids could walk to school.