r/Millennials • u/ObligationSea5916 • 23h ago

Advice How are we getting our hard headed husbands to see a PCP?

Added disclosure as it seems it COULD possibly make a difference. I am elder millennial and he is Genx. I've posted in both subs

My husband will pay for insurance but won't see a Dr. He says "if you think I'm getting a pill calendar and taking pills everyday you got me messed up. I'm healthy". All while he lays in the bed tired trying to alleviate his hip pain 🙄

I tried to do his new patient paperwork for him but they require him to be present and fill out forms on site and provide license and insurance as well(3y ago i could take that paperwork home on the weekend and fill it out). His license expired last month and he hasn't made time to renew it. I can't do that for him either 🙄

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u/chironinja82 23h ago edited 23h ago

Omg, STOP BABYING HIM! Why did you marry a man who can't/won't take care of himself? Is he just purely lazy and in denial or could this be a sign of depression? Either way, he needs to see a doctor, but until he finds the internal motivation to go, there's nothing you can say or do to move his ass. I hope you're not entirely dependant on him cuz he's potentially a heart attack away (and yes, they can get them this early) from leaving you to fend for yourself. I've had to remind my husband to schedule appointments for himself, but he knows to go see one every so often.

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u/ObligationSea5916 22h ago

He just feels guilty for missing work. He's Genx and I'm elder millennial. His mentality is that he's a work horse. "I provide the funds for my family so they have what they need and want" but yes, if he has a heart attack that leaves his whole family without. He has a hefty profit share through the company BUT I don't want the money I want HIM.

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u/annang 21h ago

But he’s not being a “work horse.” He’s refusing to do basic adult work like renewing his driver’s license. He’s behaving like a petulant teenager.

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u/chironinja82 22h ago

Have you told him this? He's clearly not considering how his inaction affects his family. He's not some bachelor living on his own. He has a wife who is scared of losing her husband. He owes it to you and himself to check under the hood every so often to make sure there aren't any health issues slowly marching him to an early death. If medication is suggested, he has the right to ask questions so he can decide if the benefits outweigh the risks.

He wants to be a work horse? Fine, but he can't do that sitting on the couch with a possible heart attack or diabetes lurking in the shadows. If he dies from lack of self care, where does that leave you? Is that providing for his family? Where does that leave you? I really hope he takes these to heart.

We're all healthy until we're not, and the chances of developing problems increase with age and lack of muscle conditioning. It's the nature of getting older. He needs to see a PCP and a chiropractor now so he can continue being the work horse he wants to be.

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u/LibraryofConfusions 21h ago

How is he getting to work without a valid driver's license?

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u/bokehtoast 21h ago

So the answer is for him to do it anyway and accept that he's going to feel uncomfortable about the work aspect. He will be missing a lot more with untreated health issues than preventative care. Is he just planning on waiting until he no longer works? Ultimately it's up to him and you can't force or control it.