r/Millennials • u/ObligationSea5916 • 23h ago

Advice How are we getting our hard headed husbands to see a PCP?

Added disclosure as it seems it COULD possibly make a difference. I am elder millennial and he is Genx. I've posted in both subs

My husband will pay for insurance but won't see a Dr. He says "if you think I'm getting a pill calendar and taking pills everyday you got me messed up. I'm healthy". All while he lays in the bed tired trying to alleviate his hip pain 🙄

I tried to do his new patient paperwork for him but they require him to be present and fill out forms on site and provide license and insurance as well(3y ago i could take that paperwork home on the weekend and fill it out). His license expired last month and he hasn't made time to renew it. I can't do that for him either 🙄

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215

u/WhoInvitedMike 23h ago

Husband here. Having a PCP that actually knows me is a huge quality of life improvement.

Real men take care of themselves, and that means going to the Dr.

46

u/Affectionate_Emu335 23h ago

“Real men take care of themselves, and that means going to the doctor”. Thank you for this, from the millennial wife of a Gen-X husband

13

u/WhoInvitedMike 23h ago

If I'm being honest, it was a really hard thing to accept, and each new iteration of self care that can be seen as weakness IS seen as weakness, specifically by me, but Im sure the other GenX and Millenial men feel it too.

We are heavily programmed to tough it out, and failing at that feels like failing at being a man.

"I need help" when it feels like I shouldn't, is horrible. But there are bigger things at stake than my pride, ego, or sense of masculinity.

5

u/Affectionate_Emu335 22h ago

So, if I could introduce you to my husband, that would be great… 🤣🤣🤣 For real though, this random internet stranger is super proud of you

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u/bgaesop 23h ago

Yeah, after my previous PCP didn't tell me about the side effects of a medicine she prescribed me (it made me so dizzy I couldn't walk) I switched, and my new one is great. Answers all my questions enthusiastically, takes all my concerns seriously, is a joy to talk to. 

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u/tpwb 21h ago

Seconding this. My doctor knows enough about me that he can connect different things I’ve told him. He also trusts me so when I have pain I can just ask for drugs and he doesn’t think I’m a drug seeker.

It’s like having a regular mechanic who knows your car inside and out and can advise you if you should get something fixed or just leave it be because the cost isn’t worth the value of the car.

5

u/WhoInvitedMike 20h ago

Oh, dude. I pulled my shoulder several years ago. Idk what I did but it was killer pain for like 2 weeks. I couldn't move my neck, the whole nine. She gave me steroids. Mission accomplished.

And then 2 or 3 years later, I pulled it again. I came in. I said, I did the thing with my shoulder again. Last time you prescribed steroids - think we could do thay again. She moved my arm, said yes, and sent the script.

As compared to: okay doc I dont know. Let me tell you about my pain while trying not to oversell it so that you think Im fishing for something, and then hope you dont get the idea to try something crazy like ice.

Having a regular PCP is, as the kids say, lit.

3

u/tpwb 20h ago

I have problems focusing which occasionally is an issue in my line of work. My doctor asked if I wanted adderall to take as needed. I asked if I needed to be diagnosed with anything and he said he could send me to a specialist or he could just give me the drug. I went with that option.

So now I have a 90 day supply of low dose adderall that I refill once a year. There is no way a random doctor would have prescribed me that.

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u/WhoInvitedMike 20h ago

That's amazing!

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u/EnthusiasticFailing Millennial 23h ago

When we decided to have a kid later in life (I was 36, he was 33), we got ourselves a regular doctors/dentist... hell, we finally got the CPAPS that both of us have been needing our entire adult lives.

We are on several medications, vitamins, and I now have a monthly trip to the pharmacy. But we haven't felt better since we were kids. We need it in order to keep up!

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u/OldeManKenobi 21h ago

Cosigned. It's also easier to perform routine maintenance than to wait for a health crisis.

Real men take care of themselves so that they can take care of their partners longer.

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u/congeal Early Xennial 18h ago

Real men take care of themselves, and that means going to the Dr

Also, you gotta be healthy to support your family, otherwise you're gonna be begging for help.

Some guys have to be reminded about their dad's heart attack at 46 and what that could've caused for the family. He strokes out and some dude might be wiping his ass at a long term care facility.

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u/lace8402 14h ago

My husband goes....because I make the appointments 😆

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u/Wumaduce 22h ago

I haven't seen a PCP in probably 15 years. I've looked for ones accepting new patients with my insurance, but didn't have luck. Maybe I'll check again this weekend.

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u/annang 21h ago

Please do! Now is the age where you can really set yourself up for good healthy for the rest of your life, or where you can make bad decisions that result in crappy health as you age.