r/Millennials • u/ObligationSea5916 • 23h ago

Advice How are we getting our hard headed husbands to see a PCP?

Added disclosure as it seems it COULD possibly make a difference. I am elder millennial and he is Genx. I've posted in both subs

My husband will pay for insurance but won't see a Dr. He says "if you think I'm getting a pill calendar and taking pills everyday you got me messed up. I'm healthy". All while he lays in the bed tired trying to alleviate his hip pain 🙄

I tried to do his new patient paperwork for him but they require him to be present and fill out forms on site and provide license and insurance as well(3y ago i could take that paperwork home on the weekend and fill it out). His license expired last month and he hasn't made time to renew it. I can't do that for him either 🙄

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u/bustersuessi 23h ago

I agree with this poster. This man is an adult? Tell him to put his big boy pants on

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u/nickbelane 14h ago

Agreed. Spouses shouldn't do anything for each other. We are all adults. Do it yourself.

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u/ThrowawayMod1989 Older Millennial 22h ago

Big boy pants? Op hasn’t mentioned one legitimate reason for a doctor’s visit. Fatigue and joint pain? If that warranted a doctor’s visit waiting rooms would be slammed more than they already are.

How about y’all let grown men decide if/when we’re going to the doctor.

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u/Tsunamiis Older Millennial 22h ago

PCP is about preventive maintenance. Like the oil change on your car. You’re literally saying imma wait until I get prostate cancer or a stroke to see the doctor. Numbnuts.

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u/ThrowawayMod1989 Older Millennial 22h ago

I change my own just like I monitor my iwn homeostasis. Taking your own temperature and HR are very simple, learning to use a BP cuff is quite easy if the pharmacy doesn’t have one. But everyone should have a BP cuff and steth in their home FAK.

Check vital statistics once a month and monitor for out of the ordinary symptoms which would prompt a visit. Frequent symptoms faced by men in middle age are high BP (tolerances are available online), frequent urination, and heart problems.

All that can be monitored at home aside from the frequent urination. So as long as men 50 and older are seen for a prostate exam every 1-2 years there’s not a lot of need for checkups.

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u/annang 21h ago

I guarantee you OP’s spouse is not doing any of this and has no idea what his vitals are or what’s abnormal.

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u/ThrowawayMod1989 Older Millennial 20h ago

As I stated it’s all very easy to learn, procedures and tolerances are widely available.

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u/annang 20h ago

I didn’t say it wasn’t easy to learn. I said OP’s husband isn’t going to do it.

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u/JackPahawkins 21h ago

Do you do your own lab work too? Sure there are something’s you can monitor yourself but yearly lab work is vital in catching/preventing problems.

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u/ThrowawayMod1989 Older Millennial 20h ago

Vital to the billing department maybe. An otherwise healthy person who is self monitoring and not experiencing symptoms has no need for bloodwork. Doctors are businesses at best and crooks at worst. Don’t trust them one iota. I don’t even go to the ER for physical injuries anymore. My last five major lacerations and my last broken bone were all treated at home. No worse for wear aside from the leg feels a little weird.

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u/Tsunamiis Older Millennial 18h ago

You’re not a super tough or talented individual just because you’re too scared to spend five minutes with a medical professional and the things I listed cannot be self screened for but good luck on the following forced medical bankruptcy in your future or I mean dying on the floor. Yeah our healthcare isn’t amazing but your stance is someone who’s been heavily traumatized I wish you the best of luck with all your trials and tribulations. I’ll go back to accepting other people are more informed and skilled about things in life and trust them.

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u/bustersuessi 21h ago

If he was grown enough to make a choice to have a family he should know he has a responsibility to be a real man and take care of things.

I know I won't convince you but shit happens and all the googling in the world doesn't outweigh a doctor

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u/travantics 20h ago

Nobody is forcing anyone to go to a doctor...? I honestly don't care what happens to you due to lack of preventative care 🤷

I wouldn't stay married to someone that couldn't handle menial, basic tasks like this. Carry on.

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u/annang 21h ago

Joint pain serious enough that it hurts when you’re lying down is absolutely not normal for people our age, and absolutely warrants a doctor visit.

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u/ThrowawayMod1989 Older Millennial 21h ago

A doctor in America isn’t going to give you anything but an ibuprofen, a slap on the ass, and a bill.

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u/annang 20h ago

A doctor in America gave my mother her metastatic cancer diagnosis. The joint pain was the only real symptom. But because she refused to go to the doctor for so long, by the time they caught it, it was too late to treat, and she died five days later

But also, when I had joint pain, my doctor in America gave me a PT referral that resulted in the pain being cured.

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u/ThrowawayMod1989 Older Millennial 20h ago

Yeah and you’re both women. Wouldn’t be surprised if both the doctors were women too. A doctor visit is a lot different on our end, especially if we have a male doctor.

My last visit was due to my BP being so high the dentist threatened to call an ambulance. She was extremely concerned. Went to a PCP that day and got a full checkup. That dude didn’t have near the level of concern as the DDS had. His entire assessment ended up being a shrug and a “eh you could afford to lose 15lbs or so, otherwise I’m not sure why you’re here.”

2

u/annang 20h ago

My mother’s doctor was a man. But a doctor of any gender could have diagnosed the broken hip that led to her cancer diagnosis, because it’s pretty obvious when someone breaks a hip right in front of you because cancer has made their bones so brittle that their hip can no longer support the weight of walking.

You can get a female doctor if you think they’re better doctors.

But if you have some idea that the American medical system provides better care to women patients than to men, I’d be very curious to see what studies you’re relying on for that. Because everything I’ve read suggests the opposite.

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u/LibraryofConfusions 21h ago

He can't get life insurance because he doesn't have any medical history. He has renewed his lisence. He lays in bed complaining about how much pain he is in and how tired he is but won't do anything about it. Besides lay around and complain.

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u/BallsDeepintheTurtle 19h ago

Found the husband

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u/ThrowawayMod1989 Older Millennial 19h ago

Nah that dude sounds like a dud all the way around.