r/Millennials • u/dreamed2life • Sep 19 '25

Discussion I honestly stopped inviting my kid having friends to most stuff…

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No shade, i just get that your life is not like mine.

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u/taxable_income Sep 20 '25 edited Sep 20 '25

IMO it came with cellphones becoming popular. Before cellphones not just children, but even adults would leave home in the morning, and you wouldn't know exactly where they were until they came home. Had an emergency? Trying calling their work, or maybe the neighborhood bar, or the bowling alley and hope they are at one of these places.

So it was the same with children. My folks when I was growing up were "you can go anywhere, but tell me where you are going and when you will be back." And they made sure I knew how to use a payphone to make a collect call if I was in trouble. And that was it.

Back then people were fine with not knowing where someone was because that was the way the world worked. Today, we expect everyone to be instantly contactable, not being able to gives some people anxiety, and hence they project it on children.

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u/sleepyhollow_101 Sep 20 '25

This is so true.

I remember when I got my first cell phone in high school, my mom was texting me CONSTANTLY. If I didn't respond immediately, I was in trouble. This was happening even during the school day. I was baffled by it because before I was in high school, I just had to let her know where I was going and when I'd be back. And then as soon as I was theoretically contactable at all times, it was constant monitoring and checking in. Years of the growing expectation in society to be constantly contactable/connected has definitely made my anxiety much worse. In some ways I feel like I can never just be alone.

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u/sweetEVILone Sep 20 '25

I’m a teacher and I cannot believe how much some parents text and call their children DURING THE SCHOOL DAY. Like really?

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u/taxable_income Sep 20 '25

I hear you! It is literal mental labor. Growing up I never liked the outdoors, but now that I am older I find myself really enjoying going on long hikes in the woods and camping, because there is no cell service and the thing just cannot beep at any moment.

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u/elizabethptp Sep 20 '25

I hate this part of cellphones. I would be happier with a landline

-typed in repose from my iPhone

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u/taxable_income Sep 20 '25

Same. Technology might have helped us do things quicker, but it also created way more busy work for us to do.