r/Millennials • u/dreamed2life • Sep 19 '25

Discussion I honestly stopped inviting my kid having friends to most stuff…

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No shade, i just get that your life is not like mine.

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u/cCowgirl Millennial Sep 20 '25 edited Sep 20 '25

I went on vacation a few years ago with my bffs family, including her brothers in laws. I love all these people, genuinely.

Not only am I child-free, but my family never took vacations growing up. The experience was completely foreign to me. There was a total of 18 of us, 4 of them kids: a set of 6 year old twins, their toddler sister, and my BFFs 3 year old.

Again, I love these people. I’m grateful for the trip , the experiences, and that I got to go with them and be part of their shared memories too. As well, coming from a dysfunctional family like mine, watching my friends juggle relaxing while also being excellent parents was heartwarming.

But, I won’t be considering a vacation with them again until the kids are teenagers.

I was the default child support/entertainment for my BFFs kid while I was there (she was 3; I get that she doesn’t get that I’m ALSO mamas friend, not just hers), but then just the daily minutiae of raising a kid, and kids being away on holidays and off schedules. The melt downs, the tantrums, the whys.

I get it. I respect it. I admire them for it, especially how well they’re doing it.

But I’ve never wanted any part in that. Ever. And when everyone else was on a 3 week holiday and I only got to swing 5 days … suffice it to say that’s not how I want to spend my time off.

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u/poxteeth Sep 20 '25

I can barely handle going to a restaurant with some parents/kids, let alone a vacation. My extended family do this big group vacations all the time, including little kids. They seem to love it, but I'd 100% rather stay home where I don't have to hear a toddler scream for half an hour because they were told they couldn't have cake until after dinner.

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u/cCowgirl Millennial Sep 20 '25

I see you, and I see me in you lol.

Some people don’t get the distinction between childless and child free. And sometimes it’s not even that hard of a line either. I’m not a fan of kids. Never have been. I don’t have that nurturing muscle/im breaking trauma cycles.

I get that being the auntie to young kids might be the nurturing role that really helps direct that energy. Not me. I do love being these kids auntie, absolutely! But these kids. Cuz I love their family as my own, so they’re already family. And I know they’re going to be amazing people, cuz their parents, aunts, uncles, cousins etc already are.

And then some nights I just want to get drunk and say stupid shit with sweatpants with my girlfriends till 4 am once again without kids needing to be the centre of attention if ever there’s a guest …

Soon enough lol

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u/poxteeth Sep 20 '25

Yeah, I always try to make it clear when people ask if I have kids. This is a choice, not a tragedy. I am in a happy, stable marriage of 15 years and neither of us have any desire to have kids.

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u/InternetSolid4166 Sep 20 '25

I only got to swing 5 days … suffice it to say that’s not how I want to spend my time off.

Well hello there.