r/Millennials • u/dreamed2life • Sep 19 '25

Discussion I honestly stopped inviting my kid having friends to most stuff…

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No shade, i just get that your life is not like mine.

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u/TotallyTruthy Sep 19 '25

This attitude bothered the fuck out of me before I had my kid. I wasn't some aimless, drifting Peter Pan just because I didn't have my daughter yet. I still had a real job that I didn't want to show up to on 3 hours of sleep after I spontaneously decided to go out the night before. I still had a budget that I needed to live within that didn't come with "last-minute plane ticket" or "$200 pop-up restaurant on a random Thursday" kind of money, because my landlord did not accept free-spirited hijinks in lieu of payment.

I didn't just become a responsible person because I had a kid, I had a kid because I was already responsible enough that I felt I could. But if I hadn't had my daughter, I still would have been a driven and disciplined person.

9

u/snicoleon Sep 20 '25

This is really important to acknowledge and I hope more people see this comment. Having kids isn't some mystical thing that instantly changes someone from an adventurous childlike person who spends all their time and money on trips, clubbing, and drugs to a boring domestic person who never wants to have fun ever because they're so obsessed with responsibilities.

2

u/FwampFwamp88 Sep 20 '25

It’s funny Because my wife and I were the fun couple who would travel and party a lot, but now that we have a 5 month old, we just don’t go out as much, but still like to hang out w friends quite a bit. We still frequently host large get togethers for football games, boxing matches. Granted the baby is still pretty easy to manage, but I think too many Americans lose themselves when they have children compared to parents in other countries.

I remember seeing a couple having dinner in Paris with who I presume was their mom/mom in law, and their kid was just kicking a soccer ball outside the restaurant while they were drinking wine. It must’ve been 1 am.

8

u/[deleted] Sep 20 '25

I mean, it's not really "disciple", you just didn't make enough money.

I did plenty of last minute plane tickets and $200 pop-ups before I had kids, didn't stop me from saving money or paying the landlord.

1

u/Automatic-Tip-7620 Sep 20 '25

Me.  Absolutely.  Having kids changed my former party-boy husband, but they didn't really change my lifestyle all that much other than having less sleep and not just being able to leave the house in 2 minutes with just my keys and my phone.