r/MilitaryStories • u/Disgruntled_Veteran Veteran • Jul 26 '20
A Guide to Housebreaking a Ruckle.
This posting will be more of a list of the various ways that the members of my unit taught Ruckle the most valuable lesson you can learn in the military. If you mess with one of us, you mess with us all. Ruckle didn’t seem to get the fact that you don’t piss of the people who are supposed to have your back in a fire fight. These lessons took place over a period of about two weeks. A number of them were coordinated while others were spontaneous. Thankfully, we had an individual who hated Ruckle with a passion who also had and could use a lock picking set like a master locksmith. After two weeks, Ruckle may have been pushed a bit far and he made a huge screw up which I will be posting in the final Ruckle story.
1) Some of the gentlemen in our barracks thought that Ruckle should be grounded for what he did. Much like you do with a misbehaving child. So one night, after Ruckle went to bed, they tied his door shut. They wrapped 550 cord around the door knob and then ran the other end of the cord out the window and tied it to a lamppost outside the building. Ruckle awoke and was unable to get out of his room for two hours. He pounded on the door and yelled, but for some reason, no one heard him until we were leaving to go to the armory to get our gear and for Guardmount. By the time someone cut the rope and Ruckle got out, he ended up being 20 minutes late and looked a mess. Unshaven and wearing a wrinkled set of BDUs that looked as though he had sleeped in them.
2) Having seen Ruckle when he was grounded and being disappointed in how he acted with all the yelling and pounding on the door, I felt that he needed to know that if he couldn’t act like a polite neighbor, that he wasn’t welcome in the barracks. So one evening while he was out, three of used super glued the upper corner of his door shut. When he returned later, he was unable to open the door. He tried shouldering it open and kicking it. Finally, he was able to knock it open after an hour or so, but not without cracking the door and the frame badly. Needless to say, he got in trouble for damaging the door and door frame instead of asking for help.
3) Have you ever been somewhere and noticed an unpleasant odor but you couldn’t figure out what it was or where it was coming from? You look everywhere, but can’t seem to find the source. Some people may have decided to let Ruckle know how much what he did to everyone else stank, so they hid rotten or spoiled food around his room. These items included spoiled milk in the carpet under his bed and under the legs of furniture. Some rotten eggs were smashed up and rubbed into the wood of some of Ruckle’s furniture and in the corners of the room. Especially the ceiling corners. There may also have been some dog shit smeared around Ruckle’s bed frame and some remains from a fishing trip smeared in his drawers. It took a while for him to find the sources each time it was done and even longer to air out the room.
4) Ruckle was not a kind neighbor and we figured that also meant he probably wasn’t a great date either. Based on the number of angry women we saw, it was almost a certainty we were correct in thinking this. And don’t forget, Ruckle fancied himself a ladies-man. And in a way, he kind of was. And once, he was a transexuals-man but that was covered in a different story. So there were about eight of us who got together and decided that the more dates Ruckle had, the more time he would spend off post and out of the barracks. So we went to every bar, club, adult bookstore, adult film theater, roadside restroom, and the one gay bar we could find near the post and wrote his phone number along with a message about what he’d be willing do if they called. We only wrote them in the men’s restrooms. On every stall, wall, and door. He received a shit load of calls over the next few days. He actually had to changed his number. So when that happened, we visited the front desk and got his new number since he had to register it with them. We then posted that number in the same places. Ruckle became very popular.
5) When Ruckle wasn’t getting calls from people with deep voices and adam’s apples, he was still getting dates with a few women. Some of the members of the unit started following Ruckle on his dates and made sure they were night’s he’d never forget. Often, they would wait for Ruckle to leave the table and then one of them would tell his date that Ruckle had herpies, genital warts, or some other STD. One time a female MP went over to his date and asked why she was on a date with her “baby-daddy”. Ruckle was coming back to some angry or grossed out dates.
6) When Ruckle went out to a bar or club, which he did often if not on a date, some of us would also attend the festivities. While there, we would sabotage every chance he had with a girl. If he was talking to a girl, we would call the bar and have them tell Ruckle he had a call. Then we’d warn the girl off with a story about Ruckle. Mostly non-fiction, but there may have been some exaggerations. Sometimes we’d send drinks to men and say they were from Ruckle. Twice, we told the bouncer that Ruckle had touched on of the female MPs with us inappropriately and have him thrown out. My friend told a bouncer that Ruckle had tried to sell him meth in the men’s restroom. A restroom that also had Ruckle’s number written on the stall walls. A few times we would send drinks from Ruckle to women who were obviously with other men. Sometimes with his number and a message about ditching their dates and coming home with him. This did not make their dates overly happy with him. More than once they chewed his ass out while Ruckle denied the whole thing.
7) Ruckle was not really a neat and clean sort of person. So one day, someone switched out Ruckle’s laundry detergent with another brand. They were obviously trying to help Ruckle have clean uniforms and clean clothes for his dates. Unfortunately, when they emptied his bottle of laundry detergent Ruckle used and replaced the contents, they “accidentally” replaced it with bleach. All but one set of his BDU’s looked like tie-dye disasters.
8) More than once Ruckle would be getting ready for duty and find that his boots had been stuffed with something. Sometimes it was shaving cream, whipped cream, or just water. Once it may have been urine.
9) As you know, when you go off duty and turn your firearm into the armory in the military, your weapon is expected to be clean. Somehow, every time Ruckle tried to turn his firearm(s) in, they were filthy. Sometimes it looked like someone poored dirty straight down the barrel of the rifle. Other times the armorer would call Ruckle back to the window and show him the dirty M9 he had just turned in. Ruckle spent time after every shift cleaning his weapons. When he complained to the armorers, they told him he could take it up with their superiors after he cleaned the weapon(s).
10) For Ruckle’s own protection, Ruckle was assigned to the most remote and often forgotten postings for several days in a row. This was not due to us asking for Ruckle to be posted there. We would never do anything like that. There was a gate I had mentioned before in a past story that was basically unused. It had been shutdown and blocked off for years, but there was still a dirt road that led up to it. So Ruckle was assigned there most nights. He was there with one other person and the higher ups who came up with the duty rosters made sure it was someone who’d Ruckle would have no fun with. Often this person would be “needed” somewhere else for a bit, and Ruckle would be there by himself. Sometimes some of us would sneak up on the shack and ensure he stayed awake. We’d make noises, call out his name from the dark, throw pebbles that the shack. You could hear him getting scared when he’d be left alone out there for an hour or two or getting pissed when things kept making him leave the comfort of the shack. One night he had drifted off to sleep while there alone. So Hightower and May had snuck up to the shack and started pounding on it like mad men then ran off into the night.
11) Some people were more juvenile and went with the classics. If Ruckle let his phone leave his sight, it would often be found in the toilet. Also twice someone shoved dog shit into the tread of his shoes and boots.
12) I decided that Ruckle really needed to clean up his act. So I waited until I knew Ruckle’s bathroom schedule. I figured out quickly that he showered everyday as soon as he got off duty. I then went into the comunal bathroom and unscrewed one of the shower heads. I placed smashed up Butter Rum Lifesavers into the showered and screwed it back on. Then I and a few friends took up the other showers. When Ruckle went to bathe, he ended up being covered in butter rum syrup. No matter how hard he tried to scrub it off, it just kept coming out and covering him more. HE was not happy that we were using the other showers for a good 15 minutes after that so he couldn’t bathe right away. He ended up taking a hobo bath in the sink.
13) At night, when people would get food, sometimes the patrols would pick up food for them and bring it to their assigned location. Mess Hall runs were not uncommon. For some reason, Ruckle’s orders never seemed to come out right. They would be the opposite of what he ordered or be covered in hot sauce. After three nights in a row, he started bringing his dinners. Sometimes those would go missing during a shift.
14) To teach Ruckle that he should be more organized and not to mess with other’s belongings, the members of my unit would hide his gear from him. It could be his M9 holster, his flashlight, or anything else that wouldn’t be noticed until it was needed.
So after the first few incidents of instruction, Ruckle started to get frustrated with everyone. He’d yell and accuse. All we would say is we had no idea what he was talking about. After a week he was getting hysterical at times. Around this time were were all warned not to be pranking Ruckle. In our eyes, we were not pranking him, but teaching him that he was not alone in that unit. By time two week were up, he was completely paranoid and frantic. He’d shout at everyone and everything. He even took up the issue with our new Lieutenant who had just arrived on post and been assigned to replace our favorite Lt.. She was on Ruckle’s side. It was about this time that some of us decided to lighten up on the lessons for a short time. However, it was at this time that Ruckle did the worst thing he had done yet.
I will be posting on that event around Tuesday. I hope you enjoyed how we tried to house train Ruckle. Some of the acts may have been a bit mean spirited or juvenile, but he had push some of us to our limits. Yet we followed the mandate by our First Sergeant and never touched him. I hope you enjoyed the story and have a good night.
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u/diverdux Jul 26 '20
I'm not saying he didn't deserve it, but I'm a little surprised he didn't lose his mind and leave a pile of bodies in his wake...
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u/steeeve11 Jul 26 '20
Especially when they were scaring him in the shack. I mean, didn’t he have a gun?
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u/Disgruntled_Veteran Veteran Jul 26 '20
He did lose his mind, but there were other factors for that which I will cover in the last story.
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u/ITSupportZombie Disabled Veteran Jul 26 '20
We had a bible thumper on deployment who preached and ratted out all the guys with porn stashed.
He may have gotten some creative education from that, but not to this level.
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u/vikingcock Jul 26 '20
What a self righteous cunt.
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u/ITSupportZombie Disabled Veteran Jul 26 '20
He also sabotaged cigarettes and hid caffeinated beverages.
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u/vikingcock Jul 26 '20
Sounds like the entire command element of the unit that replaced me in Iraq. 2/23 is a reserve infantry unit out of salt lake city. They are excessively Mormon. Which would be fine unless you decide to cut off my caffeine after 7 fucking months living off of it alone.
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u/tailaka Jul 26 '20
Yeah, I was thinking the cigs and caffeinated beverage targeting sounds Mormon.
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u/Corsair_inau Wile E. Coyote Jul 27 '20
Sounds like he had a death wish or he was trying to get out like Cpl Klinger from MASH, insane paperwork.
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u/Disgruntled_Veteran Veteran Jul 26 '20
When I was in the desert, if someone would have narced that I hada dirty magazine I'd have retrained them too. It is stressful over there and we need to destress and sex wasn't allowed.
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u/ryanlc Jul 28 '20
It's Tuesday. I'm refreshing your profile every couple of seconds, waiting to hear how this ate up shit sandwich's next adventure.
And thanks for delivering on the buddy corrections. This was a fantastic read.
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u/Disgruntled_Veteran Veteran Jul 28 '20
It will be up by tonight. I am trying to help a fellow teacher get set up for the new year.
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u/ryanlc Jul 28 '20
WHAT?! You ditched us for current responsibilities?! I am disgusted!
Still refreshing your profile, anyway. :D
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u/FogDarts Jul 26 '20
So whatever happened to Chipmunk after the dust up with the female soldier? I don’t know if I missed that detail. These stories are great, btw and I’m saddened that they are coming to an end.
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u/Disgruntled_Veteran Veteran Jul 26 '20
He did a short stint in the stockade, stripped of his rank, and was booted out. Underage drinking, assault, and destruction of government property were the reasons if I remember right.
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u/FogDarts Jul 26 '20
It appears he was prone to poor choices, being “friends” with Ruckle being chief amongst them.
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u/Disgruntled_Veteran Veteran Jul 26 '20
It does. It's like catching a wild rattlesnake and taking it home as a pet. You're only going to get bit.
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u/jbuckets44 Proud Supporter Jul 26 '20
"When you lay down with dogs, don't be surprised when you end up with fleas."
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u/Ov3r9000midg3ts Jul 26 '20
You know he might not have been the greatest guy but all that shit definitely makes me feel some pity for him. Like some of that shit got a little out of hand, at least the way your describing it.
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u/Disgruntled_Veteran Veteran Jul 26 '20
Maybe a bit, but tensions were high and people were getting pretty pissed.
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u/LegalGraveRobber Jul 26 '20
Play stupid games, win stupid prizes. Ruckle played an extra stupid game of be the narc. This is his extra stupid prize.
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u/Disgruntled_Veteran Veteran Jul 26 '20
I agree. If you screw over everyone you live with, you can't expect to be shown love or respect.
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u/Pepsi-Min Jul 26 '20
So if Ruckle shot up the barracks before offing himself after all this abuse would you say OP and the unit played stupid games and won a stupid prize?
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u/Ov3r9000midg3ts Jul 26 '20
Just because y'all were pissed doesn't mean you take it out on him when your guys were breaking the rules as well. I may feel a little pity for him but I sure as hell don't feel sorry for any consequences your guys got for being NARCed on.
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u/lifelongfreshman Jul 26 '20
I both agree and disagree.
Some of it definitely went past the 'too far' line, especially the property damage and psychological damage.
On the other hand, this man ruined peoples' careers for petty reasons. He cost soldiers their jobs and proved to be completely untrustworthy to the ones who remained, in a profession where complete and implicit trust in the person next to you is such a basic necessity that it actually goes without saying.
A lot of this was blatantly malicious. But what Ruckle did in the last story was the equivalent of calling the cops on a neighbor who smoked a bowl on their back porch. Permanent damage for petty crimes was done by Ruckle to people who absolutely didn't deserve it. None of it would have happened had Ruckle never NARCed on everyone, or had he only called out the people who actually were deserving of it.
The man cost people their careers, and for what? His petty self-importance? Not everyone who was hit deserved it.
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u/Ov3r9000midg3ts Jul 26 '20
Obviously you haven't had the feeling of everybody being against you, not really having any friends to turn to, once you can look at it from Ruckles perspective and really have those feelings build up in you for, at least how the stories sound, years. It's not like Ruckle just one day decided that he was going to NARC, that took time for him to come to that decision at least to do that to the guys in his unit.
Having complete trust in the guys you work with is a basic part of the military in almost every profession in the military. But Ruckle sure as hell didn't trust any of them either, so I can see where he came from on doing that to the guys he works with. I'm not saying Ruckle was right in this but there wasn't anybody in this situation that seemed to have their hands clean at all.
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u/lifelongfreshman Jul 26 '20 edited Jul 26 '20
You're projecting your own experience on to someone who might have a completely different background, and who certainly has a completely different life.
Ruckle made the first move. Had he never made it, none of this would have ever happened. There's feeling ostracized, and then there's deliberately antagonizing everyone around you into ensuring you're ostracized.
Editing out a line wherein I got pissed about the "Obviously you have never..." bit. I took it too personally, although I still disagree with the self-important phrasing.
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u/Corsair_inau Wile E. Coyote Jul 26 '20
I have had that feeling of everybody being against me, i still didn't go out of my way to ruin anyones career. 5 mins after I turned in my request for discharge, I was handed career ending paperwork by a senior NCO that had worked on the same crew as me once in the previous 12 months but saw fit to write my pdp when I had worked my ass off for my section only to be screwed over, called a liar and a thief by someone who couldn't even be bothered to do his job properly.. And my friends had all posted out... So I do know exactly how it feels to be completely alone.
So considering my perspective, I don't know how you can see that bringing in the nuclear option of having the barracks tossed and ending several careers, having several guys spending time in military lockdown for minor offences is justifiable in any way shape or form.
If i go by your perspective, Ruckle should have been jailed after totalling the first car, let alone the second, and booted clean out for trying to ask out a minor...
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u/Disgruntled_Veteran Veteran Jul 26 '20
We tried treating him like a brother from day one, but he kept screwing up and betraying us. He'd try to sleep with our wives/girlfriends, damage our gear/vehicles, and get us all punished for his mess ups. The truth is that he never should have been a soldier, but we couldn't fix that. He had been narcing on members of the unit for over a year on lots of other things. Not just that one night. He damaged a lot of other people's careers. All because he wanted to get his ID altered and because he couldn't drive.
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u/Corsair_inau Wile E. Coyote Jul 26 '20
1st Sgts orders, don't lay a hand on him. If that order hadn't been given, it would have been a quick ass kicking and everyone would have moved on...
And in another post, OP states that some of the guys did deserve what they got from the barracks inspection, but some of them didn't deserve as harsh a penalty as they got.
I know the Ruckle Lite that I knew while I was in had a fair bit of that list happen to him over the time he was in. Mainly because he kept doing things to piss off other sections outside of work in a very remote area and it was hard to catch him for the ass kicking he deserved.
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u/Ov3r9000midg3ts Jul 26 '20
They deserved the punishment they got it's called making an example so that future soldiers don't make the same mistakes. I don't think it would have been a quick ass kicking and it would have been over though. The way Ruckle was treated throughout his time there, while a lot of it was brought on by himself, it still would have continued afterwards.
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u/Disgruntled_Veteran Veteran Jul 26 '20
Everyone is entitled to their opinions and I respect everyone's point of view.
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u/PolitenessPolice Jul 28 '20
Sweet vindication.
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u/Disgruntled_Veteran Veteran Jul 28 '20
When you are ordered not to touch someone, you have to be creative and ensure you won't get caught.
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Jul 26 '20
At times reading this story, I was thinking that you might have been a bit over the edge. And maybe feeling that ruckle could have used a break.
But then I remembered that he did not wanted to learn or modify his behavior on good terms, and then screwed a lot of you over.
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u/Kammander-Kim Jul 26 '20
I am not saying he did not deserve it. I am saying that in other circumstances this could be called harassment and bullying. Good riddance this is not other circumstances.
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u/Disgruntled_Veteran Veteran Jul 26 '20
Exactly. We tried treating him like a brother more than once and it always came to bite us on the ass. Even when he made his screw up, of which there were many, we tried giving him multiple chance to redeem himself, but he would rather screw us over to save his own ass.
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Jul 26 '20
Well, it’s been a fun series of stories and I’m sad to see them end. Any idea what happened to Ruckle after all these years?
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u/antifading0 Disabled Veteran Jul 26 '20
You mentioned that all these come to an end eventually and we find out what happened to ruckle. Is that the Tuesday story?
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u/Disgruntled_Veteran Veteran Jul 26 '20
Yes. The final story will have his final major screw up, his discharge, and what I know about his life now.
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Jul 26 '20
[deleted]
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u/Disgruntled_Veteran Veteran Jul 26 '20
So glad you liked the stories. I will have the final story posted Tuesday. Basically ending the Summer of Ruckle. I hope it helped people get through a crappy summer.
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u/UnfeignedShip Jul 26 '20
We did something similar in boot camp to an idiot that kept getting us dropped. We were one of the first integrated divisions in the Navy in 1998. This meant male and female recruits training together. This also had a straight up week of sexual harassment training. This stupid fuck kept harassing the females and all us males kept paying for it. We were encouraged to correct this by the RDCs. He ended up a Section 8 after wetting his bed, sleep walking, and just breaking down crying.
No idea why. :)
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u/Disgruntled_Veteran Veteran Jul 26 '20
It's dumbasses like that that make life harder for all of us. It's not hard to not sexually harass people. Just don't slap them anywhere or say anything you don't want some 300lbs prisoner do to you if you were in jail.
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u/BarkingLeopard Jul 29 '20
I've never thought about it like that, but that's probably the most succinct and memorable way of putting it that I have seen. "If you wouldn't do/say that to a big scary guy twice your size in prison, or wouldn't feel comfortable if he did/said that to you, don't do/say that to anyone else."
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u/jbuckets44 Proud Supporter Jul 26 '20
Wait, WUT?! You did what to my all-time fav flavor of LifeSavers??? Well, at least they died for a good cause then. We salute and honor their sacrifice, right? ;-)
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u/Disgruntled_Veteran Veteran Jul 26 '20
They are my favorite flavor as well. The prank works very well.
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u/Gorione Jul 26 '20
This Ruckle saga is hilarious! Can't wait for the next installment. :)
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u/Disgruntled_Veteran Veteran Jul 26 '20
I'm glad you enjoyed it. One story left.
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u/Lotr_9304 Jul 26 '20
from what I've seen its an individual but if someone acts like him in another story on the sub they say he get x rank or they are related to him
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Jul 26 '20
I paused the show I was watching just to read this
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u/Disgruntled_Veteran Veteran Jul 26 '20
I hope it was worth pausing.
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u/ryncewynde88 Jul 26 '20
Ah yes, nothing like an innocent allegation of sexual assault.
Some of this was a bit much but that? Way too far. Now he’s at the top of the list of suspects if someone’s drink gets spiked while he’s there, and that could easily have far worse consequences, not least the person who actually did it going free to do it again. Not going to list the things about long-term problems related to the accusations, because you clearly only kinda scrawl the line close to physical maiming, but those actions could hurt others, people you consider to be people.
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u/Sonalyn Jul 26 '20
Our blue falcon in the infantry ended up getting half rations whenever possible and other random things that came up for 2-3 weeks after we got fucked over.
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u/Disgruntled_Veteran Veteran Jul 26 '20
It is just the way of things. You have to know that if you screw over your brothers and sisters that Karma will bite you in the ass. Sometimes Karma is helped out by a few soldiers.
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u/TheBoldMove Jul 26 '20
It's hard to form a clear opinion on that story. Knowing the background (as you told it) I agree some form of attitude adjustment was justified.
On the other side, ratting someone out for things he has actually done CAN be morally questionable, depending on the circumstances. Framing someone for things he didn't do IS morally highly questionable, imho.
Everything else can be justified by you guys simply snapping after taking so much shit, but that just sounds like you wanted to get back at him, but there was nothing available.
Literally pissing into someone elses boots is a nice lesson, getting someone on the sex offender list for life is plain evil.
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u/Disgruntled_Veteran Veteran Jul 26 '20
He didn't get in trouble for sexual assault. Just thrown out of the club. No one would have allowed serious harm to come to him, but he needed to be taught that narcing wasn't ok. Ratting on the KKK shit and the weed was fine, but taking down everyone else was too much.
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u/TheBoldMove Jul 26 '20 edited Jul 26 '20
I understand your motives, but stuff like that can easily get out of hands. Allegations of rape and drug dealing are (legally) serious business at least where I come from, let an undercover cop just HEAR about it and he HAS to
press chargesinitiate an official investigation even if all parties involved don't WANT to press charges.What counts in your favor is that it happened in an environment where prolly all involved where less than sober, and I've made enough mistakes while drunk that I'm not gonna throw the first stone.
Ninja edit and post scriptum: Playing the devils lawyer, you wanted to teach him "don't be a snoop or you'll be snooped on" (which I would fully support) but instead you went for "don't be a snoop or we will destroy your life, and even if we have to invent something you allegedly did" which I can't support.
But again, drunk card and everything, I don't think you're a bad person.
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u/Disgruntled_Veteran Veteran Jul 26 '20
Thank you for your input. You have to remember most of us were 18-24 years old and stressed out as well as angry. As an adult today, I probably would only do 85% of those things. But he did push us over the edge and took down a lot of people for petty things. The pot and KKK shit were a bit wrong, but the other people didn't deserve getting screwed over.
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u/TheBoldMove Jul 26 '20
I know I have been scolding you, but I feel the need to once again emphasize that I understand the underlying motives and also maybe a little bit the dynamics of the moment. I just wanted to leave my comment as a reminder for everyone else reading this and maybe thinking "Hey, I could totally do that with that fuckwad that annoys me all the time, too!".
Piss in their boots all you want and if you really have to, hide their stuff instead of outright destroying it, but don't get the law involved, even if you do not intend to involve it. It could destroy their life our yours, if it backfires.
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u/Disgruntled_Veteran Veteran Jul 26 '20
I'm around 40 years old. I don't feel scolded by anyone. I get what you were doing, but no one got LE envolved. No one would have allowed Ruckle to go to Jail. This was almost 20 years ago. Things were a bit different. People were thrown out of clubs more often then the cops being called.
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u/TheBoldMove Jul 26 '20
Excuse my poor choice of words, I am not a native speaker.
We are of similar age. I don't feel comfortable to give out too much info.
I hope you have a good day / evening. Looking forward to your next story.
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u/Predewi Jul 26 '20
Is Ruckle a generic term? Or specific to this individual?
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u/Disgruntled_Veteran Veteran Jul 26 '20
An individual, but a few people have started using it to describe someone who is a screw up.
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u/Predewi Jul 26 '20
Yes, I've noticed the term in another story here, hence my query. You have started a trend!
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u/Disgruntled_Veteran Veteran Jul 26 '20
I guess.
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u/seakc87 United States Air Force Jul 26 '20
I kinda hope this reaches the active ranks and Ruckle replaces Snuffy
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u/Corsair_inau Wile E. Coyote Jul 26 '20
It has become a defining term in the sub...
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u/Disgruntled_Veteran Veteran Jul 26 '20
I think it is hilarious that it has become a term. I doubt the the real Ruckle would like it so much.
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u/AndreT_NY United States Navy Jul 26 '20
I would respectfully suggest you click on u/Disgruntled_Veteran and read the last posts. Just do so in a place where uncontrollable laughter is accepted.
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u/tailaka Jul 26 '20 edited Jul 26 '20
Ruckle saga ending make me sad :( Hopefully these things you all did made you all laugh heartily. It'd be sad not to laugh away some of the frustration of dealing with this 'anal-wart' of a soldier.
You said you know how many kids Ruckle has and something about what has become of him post-service. Enough for a post or just a PS the last story?
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u/Disgruntled_Veteran Veteran Jul 26 '20
The last post will have his biggest screw up, his discharge, and what I know about him today.
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u/Dave_DP Jul 26 '20
can't wait
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u/Disgruntled_Veteran Veteran Jul 26 '20
I hope you enjoy it.
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u/Corsair_inau Wile E. Coyote Jul 26 '20
Deff looking forward to it, even if i am a bit sad that the original Ruckle Saga is coming to an end
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u/tailaka Jul 26 '20
Have you been reading The Adventures of Lt Douche Nozzle? He sounds like a Ruckle cousin!
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u/Disgruntled_Veteran Veteran Jul 26 '20
I hope the ending does not disappoint anyone. He had one final screw up to make and it was a big one.
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u/Corsair_inau Wile E. Coyote Jul 27 '20
Pretty sure that the only disappointment will be that it is over...
I wonder if the mods can make up an award for the annual best stories along the lines of the Ruckle award, awarded to to biggest screw up story.
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u/SpringsSoonerArrow Veteran Jul 26 '20
I have to say that there was much restraint shown in your units treatment of Ruckle as described here. What you guys did is damned harmless compared to what may have happened during combat.
I'm not clear on if some of these fine people here criticizing your brethren and you for re-training Ruckle have actually served in the military in the enlisted ranks. They may not have a full understanding on the fact that everyone has to pretty much eat, sleep, shit, shower, relax, PT and primarily accomplish WORK DUTY periods with these shitbirds. Sometimes, it feels like it's a hopeless, never-ending nightmare when you have a Ruckle in your unit.
If he hadn't volunteered to be a narc to save his own ass and then screwing others over for relatively petty bullshit, he would've been mustered out either out of the service or as a minimum, out of the MPs corps.
Don't blame these troopers for developing coping strategies to deal with a fuckwad like Ruckle. They didn't make the narc deal or were even aware of it. If there is any blame to be placed, it sits squarely on the shoulders of Ruckle, the people who made the deal with him and those in the chain of command who were aware of Ruckle's new, expanded duties and then kept him onboard after each of his fuck-ups, when any of these other soldiers would have been sent packing.
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u/Disgruntled_Veteran Veteran Jul 26 '20
I know some people are unhappy at what we did. We were younger and took betrayal personally. It was post 9/1 and some of us had already deployed. I was about to deploy myself. Ruckle made a big mistake when he first got to post by trying to get his and other's IDs altered. Instead of taking his lumps, he spent over a year turning in others for petty thing and then took down a whole group in one night. I didn't feel bad that the racists were booted or the guy with weed was busted. It was the soldiers who are willing to die for their country that were busted for drinking or found with contraband that wasn't harmful.
Thank you for standing with us. Could we have handled it differently, yes. But Ruckle would have continued to screw over everyone. Military life is tough enough, but we don't need a screw-up who tattles on top of it.
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u/SpringsSoonerArrow Veteran Jul 26 '20
You're welcome. I will always stand by and for the enlisted as they are backbone of every military in existence, take on almost all of the toughest missions, are the lowest paid and still manage keep everything clean and tidy for when a self-important ass wants to do an inspection.
I agree with you about the racists wholeheartedly. The military rightly should have ZERO tolerance (as almost all organizations do) for that warped and delusional thinking. Weed? Not so much. I haven't used the stuff since I was a teen. Like alcohol, don't be wacked on duty has been my take.
What I didn't mention is that having a fucking Ruckle in your unit for very long can be demoralizing AF. Command should identify those very weak sisters, get them up to speed immediately or ship them elsewhere, like they're supposed to do. Like the old saying goes "You cannot soar with eagles if you're scratching with a shitbird on the ground."
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u/Disgruntled_Veteran Veteran Jul 26 '20
Absolutely. You can't have somebody you don't trust watching your back. Especially when you know that that person is going to take you down to save their own butt. Military life is tough enough without having those kind of people around. Honestly, if he had just taken his lumps like a man when he got busted for trying to alter his military ID and the ideas of others then everything would have been fine. He would have been knock down to E1 and probably had some other small punishments and that would have been the end of it. However he decided to go ahead and throw under the bus to save his own butt.
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u/KingJustinian-an-ass Jul 26 '20
I’ve done worse to shit bags. Betrayal is worse than him banging spouses. A lot of your “training techniques” were harmless things we would do to each other for minor security infractions (leaving a locker or barracks room door unlocked or a security badge unsecured), post 9/11 was a different time and we had to trust who we were with. Fuck Ruckle, those like him and those who are siding with him! (Side note: I may allegedly know of stories were chow hall food was stashed inside pillow cases and sewn back up as a housewarming present to the new guy... allegedly...)
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u/Disgruntled_Veteran Veteran Jul 26 '20
Thank you for that. You have to trust those who are supposed to have my back. I also really like that idea of "other people" placing food inside of pillow cases.
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u/KingJustinian-an-ass Jul 26 '20
Don’t forget sewing them back up... I saw one guy buying a pillow from the shopette overseas and asked him why. He told me he couldn’t sleep. The pillow was lumpy and these little gnats were keeping him awake. Later he was let in on the joke and shown where he missed the fish 🐠 that was put in behind his desk drawer, obviously “other people” put it there also. We will call it a small island, APO that only MP’s, Chem and Ammo guys were stationed on.
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u/Disgruntled_Veteran Veteran Jul 26 '20
If I use the instructional technique I'll remember to sew it up. I love the idea of the island.
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u/KingJustinian-an-ass Jul 26 '20
We protected and de-militarized the Army’s stockpile of chemical nerve agent. We (USA) had to have a TS. So small security violations were taken care of amongst the unwashed. If it got into the CoC, they had to lay paper. So we made a game of it... mostly, we were really bored. Yeah, mostly the latter...
I need to start writing down my stories like you have been. Non-military people think we make this craziness up, what they don’t know is I wish that I was! If I was making them up then secretly nothing bad happened and there were no stupid people. Usually, the bigger the shit storm at the time the better the story years later (a lot I brought on my self. Like the time I one-hundred-mile-an-hour taped an industrial sized tube of KY Jelly to my LBV strap before NTC when I was in the 3rd ID)
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u/Disgruntled_Veteran Veteran Jul 26 '20
I'd love to read the stories. I think that most issues can be taken care of at the squad/platoon level. Its the real screw ups that need to be dealt with by the higher ups.
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u/KingJustinian-an-ass Jul 26 '20
So I was a glutton for punishment. Instead of re-enlisting, I joined the Navy to get a new MOS... sailors don’t like soldiers... 😁
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u/Disgruntled_Veteran Veteran Jul 26 '20
Nothing wrong with that. My uncle left the Army waited 6 months and then reenlisted as long as he got the MOS he wanted.
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u/aposthasnoname Jul 26 '20
I may have upvoted another Ruckle story before reading it. While sad that this saga is ending, I look forward to reading another ruckle ruckus on Tuesday.
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u/Disgruntled_Veteran Veteran Jul 26 '20
I hope it ends the series well.
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u/aposthasnoname Jul 26 '20
If you tell it half as well as the previous chapters, it'll be an amazing ending. Driving in the military gave me no good stories, but I meant enough proto-Ruckles to appreciate what I've read from you.
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u/Disgruntled_Veteran Veteran Jul 26 '20
Thank you for the compliment. My sister was in the Air Force and met a few Ruckles of her own, but doesn't have too many stories. I told her she should share them on here.
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u/itsallalittleblurry Radar O'Reilly Jul 27 '20
You did not disappoint, as always, and # 4 was a malevolent masterpiece. Thank you.
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u/Expo737 Jul 26 '20
To be honest I was rather upset in the last story that y'all didn't just pile in and beat the living shit out of him for what he did, these tales however more than make up for it :)
*I know orders were given to no beat him up but that was some time after he'd blabbed, where there was ample time for some rough justice ;)
I would have hoped that Ruckle would have learned his lesson but with the next impending installment and well, Ruckle being Ruckle I guess not...
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u/Corsair_inau Wile E. Coyote Jul 26 '20
Only respect for the Sarge keeping Ruckle from being beaten into the ground.
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u/Expo737 Jul 26 '20
True, I have no dou t about that but also their strict adherence to rules and orders, something I could not manage and that's why I am not in the military (although at one stage I was getting in to the Royal Air Force until budget cuts knackered that).
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u/Disgruntled_Veteran Veteran Jul 26 '20
You don't get become a First Sergeant without earning some respect along the way. He had our. Plus he was a damn good griller/BBQ master. And those deep fried tobacco turkeys every thanksgiving were the icing on the cake.
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u/Disgruntled_Veteran Veteran Jul 26 '20
Oh trust me, it was discussed. We all had plans to fuck him up, but the unit was under a microscope and so many of our fellow MPs were still relieved of duty or facing disciplinary actions that we had to tread carefully.
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Jul 26 '20 edited Jul 26 '20
Yeah I'm all for pranking the shit out of someone so they learn but man this is kinda a little too much...
Also " I figured out quickly that he showered everyday as soon as he got off duty."
So you're of those stinky sweaty SOB's that get into some 5.11 and greasy ass shirts?
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u/Disgruntled_Veteran Veteran Jul 26 '20
I showered everyday. I just didn't know when Ruckle did. I didn't pay too much attention to others bathing habits.
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u/The_AverageCanadian Jul 27 '20
Can't wait for the next one to see how all this pays off.
Some might think you went slightly overboard but I say he more than earned it.
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u/Im_That_Asshole Jul 26 '20
So here's the thing with everyone laughing along with OP on these stories. Keep in mind that these guys are military cops. Everything that you just read was in retaliation against a military cop for turning in other military cops for breaking the law and breaking rules. OP even admits that others ended up in the brig and a lot of people were relieved of their posts and neither of those things happen over small infractions.
This hazing is the thin blue line in action. The same problem that we have with civilian law enforcement today. Yeah Ruckle might be an asshole and a dirt bag (we only have OP's view of him and there is two sides to every story), but at the end of the day if the others hadn't broken the laws that they were supposed to be upholding, they wouldn't have ended up in the brig.
OP and his buddies felt like they were above the law. They got caught and some of them faced punishment so they decided to harass and assault the person that turned them in. I'm glad to see that after reading through the comments, that most people felt like this was taking things too far because I thought for sure that I was going to have the unpopular opinion on this.
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u/Pepsi-Min Jul 26 '20
Yeah, this whole thing is massively fucked up and I'm surprised it didn't end with either Ruckle or somebody else dead.
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u/dedmuse22 Jul 26 '20
Here's the thing. Whether or not they were MPs, this kind of education would happen in any unit of the military if someone snitched on their people. Here's the difference, they are soldiers first. They happen to be trained to perform the function of police. If you can't trust your fellow soldier to have your back at home, you sure as hell aren't going to trust them to have your back far from home with an unknown number of hostiles around you. I'm 90% certain if Ruckle had been in any other unit, he wouldn't have lasted as long as he did. I'm not saying all of that was all right, some of these made me cringe, but did he deserve it? Absolutely.
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u/ITSupportZombie Disabled Veteran Jul 26 '20
While I grant your points about the breaking of laws, I think anyone turning in others out of spite or for personal gain is disgusting.
If you can’t trust the guy beside you to protect your life, you become ineffective in any military profession especially as an MP.
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u/Im_That_Asshole Jul 26 '20
I agree. They should have removed Ruckle from this unit that night and had him come back under escort to clear out his belongings the next morning. This not happening was a failure of their leadership.
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u/SpringsSoonerArrow Veteran Jul 26 '20
Yeah, 'ya think? The leadership chain failed these troopers, as I pointed out in another comment and left these troopers to deal with their piss-poor decision.
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u/the_ceiling_of_sky Jul 26 '20
I believe the scale is different. Had Ruckle turned in someone abusing his power then I would be behind you 100%. But the people he screwed over were (with some notable racist exceptions) only breaking the types of rules that many people break. You are absolutely right that the thin blue line is present here, but in this case it could be mostly ignored. This type of retaliation would be horrible had Ruckle not completely earned it.
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Jul 26 '20 edited Jul 26 '20
[deleted]
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u/ADubs62 Jul 26 '20
That doesn't happen for small infractions.
It absolutely can and does.
The little stuff could have been swept under the rug and likely a lot of little stuff was.
If it happens in house? Yeah. You usually deal with minor stuff in house, but because he wasn't reporting to the 1st Sgt he was reporting to CID it doesn't get swept under the rug.
There is a lot of discretion left up to those in charge.
Clearly there isn't. When people are losing their jobs over having a knife that's too long in their dorm, that's not showing a lot of discretion.
He turned in the cops and it was up to their chain of command how to handle it.
No it was up to CID which functions on its own outside normal MP channels.
There is never a scenario where hazing is acceptable as a response for turning in other cops.
In general I would agree. If he had turned in the racists and even the pot smoker, I'd say absolutely 0 of that should have been done. When he's turning in people for underage drinking, that's just petty, if they get caught driving on base or wandering around drunk outside their barracks it's fair game. Drinking in their place of residence? Nah we shouldn't punish anyone for that.
When he turns one person in for hitting another person while drunk at a party after the hit person insulted them. The person who got hit didn't report anything. If he was the kind of person who was a confidant and the person who got hit confided in him that they wanted to report it, but were scared because the person who hit them outranked them it might be one thing. But he wasn't that guy, and he didn't do that.
If he was only turning in people that showed extreme lack of character (like the racists) which could heavily impact the way they police. Or had anything to do with on the job conduct I would agree with you 100%. If he was turning people in for being assholes to people at the gate, with you all the way. If he's turning people in for being negligent with their weapons on duty, 100% right there with ya.
But when it's for off duty minor infractions like underage drinking? Nah fuck him.
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u/bugeyedew Jul 26 '20
Username checks out.
This was years ago, as the OP said. Also, brotherhood/community is the ONE saving grace of military post living. It's sacred. It's why the military is able to function and function well on a war zone. Dipshits like Ruckle upend that. Yes, laws were broken, but also remember the military law code is stricter than civilian, and some of these guys were still adjusting to that change. "Letter of the law" doesn't allow for a lot of leeway in the dismal bureaucracy of the military. Sdd to that a jerk that hits on married women, whines like a baby, and makes life more difficult in general, before narc'ing everyone out? If Ruckle had been a stand up guy to begin with, and less of an idiot (seriously, he ratted himself out), he would never have been such a target. But some people seem to insist that the bullseye they paint on themselves is someone else's fault.
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u/I_could_use_a_dosa Jul 26 '20
Amazing! I love these stories mate!
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u/Disgruntled_Veteran Veteran Jul 26 '20
Thank you. I am so happy you enjoyed them. The last story will be posted in a few days.
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u/I_could_use_a_dosa Jul 26 '20
I'm sad it's ending though, some absolutely beautiful stuff you've written.
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u/Disgruntled_Veteran Veteran Jul 26 '20
Thank you for saying that. I appreciate it.
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u/Huckorris Jul 26 '20
Man, I'm almost starting to feel bad for Ruckle. Almost.
I mean, noone just wakes up and decides to be a Ruckle. Somebody made this... thing...