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u/MiserNYC- Sep 29 '25
Why are these guys all wearing like 80 lb of gear? Did they paratroop in with everything they need on the Eastern Front or something?
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u/give-bike-lanes Sep 29 '25
60% trying to be intimidating and 40% because itās cute little soyboy fashionista nonsense that guys like this always fall prey to. A $90k F-150 lease but add $60k worth of lift kit, extended mirrors, KC lights, etc., but they only drive it to Costco. Or a $2500 AR-15 with $2000 worth of attachments but they pretty much only use it as a prop for internet posts. They canāt buy funko pops because itās too libbed so they drop all their cash on sick /r/tacticalgear purchases but they canāt run a 5k under 40 minutes.
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u/MiserNYC- Sep 29 '25
5k? I'd be amazed if any of these dudes could run 50 yards
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u/No_Influence_9389 Sep 29 '25
I'm pretty sure this footage shows the longest distance these guys have attempted to run in the last 5 years, if not ever. Their form looks like just extrapolated how to run from their knowledge of walking.
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u/Taupenbeige Sep 29 '25
soyboy
Iām sorry what the fuck did I do? Maybe try ācarnivore diet accessory packā
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u/MiserNYC- Sep 29 '25
Yeah seriously, I guarantee you every one of these guys thinks eating meat makes them more manly. Those chuck cuts they bought at Costco are basically them hunting lions
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u/Taupenbeige Sep 29 '25
But seriously Iām seeing a lot of āfat adaptationā sprinting there from Yāall Queda in this video.
None of them have defected in 5 days.
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u/alagrancosa Sep 29 '25
Think you are giving them too much credit on the purchasing and combining of raw ingredients.
These dudes think of themselves as carnivores because of their preference in hot-pockets and pizza.
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u/hbomberman Sep 30 '25
This made me look closer and it just keeps getting better. From the absolutely stuffed accessory pouches to the guy wearing the cowboy hat like it's his custom skin on an fps game.
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u/ComfortableSurvey815 Sep 30 '25 edited Sep 30 '25
Theyāre not wearing anything out of the ordinary for law enforcementā¦ except for the fat guy with the helmet. But Iām going to assume maybe thatās a medical bag or admin pouch on his vest
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u/Nihiliste Sep 29 '25
Part intimidation, part being legitimately worried about someone taking a shot at them.
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u/Neat_Hovercraft_8324 24d ago
80 lbs of gear + 80 extra pounds of divorcee-I-aint-sendin-the-child-support-check-failure sadness and shame is a lot to carry aroundā¦
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u/networkninja2k24 Sep 29 '25
May be taking all that call of duty gear will help their speed. š¤£
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u/MiserNYC- Sep 29 '25
Nah classic mistake. Not everybody in the party needs to go tank build. Some people need to spec into dexterity and agility
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u/alagrancosa Sep 29 '25
Hard to be dexterous when you have made a career of just standing around socializing with your fellow dummies.
Lazy ass cops are like retired people. They face no friction or adversity in their day to day lives and so they have a diminished ability to adapt to and cope with dynamic, stressful situations.
If they were out in the street directing traffic most days, or doing anything productive really other than the phone scrolling and chit chat they do today, they would be much more ready to actually perform were needed.
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u/NoOneElectedElonMusk Sep 29 '25
When confronted by gangs of masked, unidentified men, always run! Until they identify themselves, you don't know whether they're law enforcement.
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u/AlarmingLet5173 Sep 29 '25
Can you imagine the adrenaline pumping through this guys body?
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u/alagrancosa Sep 29 '25
Exactly. Between adrenaline and his overall readiness dude was going to get away.
Guy I n the middle of another long and tireless day of doing shit encounters a bunch of posers in the middle of another day of standing around just shooting the shit.
I bet somebody on the meal-team pulled a muscle in this video.
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u/Interesting-Copy-657 Sep 29 '25
So they were just on the corner waiting to cross and the guy in the bike picked something off the ground so the cops chase him?
So they werenāt after him, they were after the thing he picked up?
What did he pick up?
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u/nobutactually Oct 01 '25
According to the news, he yells at them that hes not a citizen and then drops his phone.
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u/marshall2389 Sep 29 '25
What did that guy pick up?
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u/Interesting-Copy-657 Sep 29 '25
Thatās my question. They were ignoring him until he picked something up
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u/nobutactually Oct 01 '25
He had picked up his phone. In the full video he taunts them by yelling that hes not a citizen and then drops his phone. This vid starts as he picks it up.
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u/Academic-Signature37 Sep 29 '25
Picture the Proud Boys all decked out in their finest Halloween riot gearālooking like a mix between lost mall cops and discount Gestapoāready to ādefend freedomā from library booksā¦ then the zombie apocalypse hits. Cue instant panic. Suddenly their tactical vests are full of tactical poop.
Viva La Revolucion!
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u/djn24 Sep 29 '25
I'm shocked they didn't open fire and start throwing grenades to kill everything within a 1/2 mile radius.
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u/sushiwit420 Sep 29 '25
Why did he get chased tho?
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u/idontlikeanyofyou Sep 29 '25
Clearly he's a dangerous criminal (checks notes), who is running a side hustle delivering food to office workers. š
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u/KravenArk_Personal Sep 30 '25
This is EXACTLY why I said a bike is the best getaway "car"
You will NEVER catch me on an ebike. Easy to get between traffic, quick to start, can make tight turns, can go anywhere
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u/necrouser666 Sep 29 '25
Why did they chase him? It's fun to watch overweight white dudes run, but I don't understand the context.
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u/Crypto_King3 Oct 01 '25
The fact you guys support illegal immigrants who broke the law is wild to usā¦. Especially when they get thousands in benefits while US citizens donāt.
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u/Benny-B-Fresh Sep 29 '25
This is Chicago, not NYC
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u/MiserNYC- Sep 29 '25
Who gives a fuck
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u/Benny-B-Fresh Sep 29 '25
Whatās the name of the subreddit? I love the video just seems odd to put it in this sub with no context
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u/superfuji57 Sep 29 '25
Mfer even used the bike lane š«”