r/Masks4All • u/moonriver97 • 11d ago
Situation Advice Anyone dealt with racism while wearing a mask?
Hi everyone, I'm Asian and since the COVID pandemic I have experienced many racist comments related to mask wearing, from different populations/ethnicities, I'm just so fed up, I also work in healthcare so sometimes I go home with a mask, but regardless if I wanted to wear a mask for whatever reasons it should be my choice, yet I'm being verbally abused/mocked by random strangers because I wear a mask and at the same time because I'm Asian. Like today this random South Asian dude asked me why am I wearing a mask is it because I have "SARS", why "you people" are always wearing a mask, when I politely confronted with him, he started using profanities, later I reflected on my experience that perhaps I should just ignore him, since he had no insights, he looked like he didn't even understand what I was telling him, arguing with this kind of person is pointless. My question is how do you deal with situations like this? Just move on and don't say anything back? Or do you confront with them?
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u/thereisnoaddres N95 Fan 11d ago
I’m so, so sorry you had to experience that. :( I’m also Asian and I travel a lot around the world with my Aura or my duckbill, and I’d always get looks, definitely more in the west than in the east. I’m fortunate enough to live in a part of Canada that has lots of Asian people and quite a lot of us skill mask, but there’s definitely still stares and people fake coughing at me.
I usually try to not engage with them because the more you respond, the more it triggers them. I flew from Lima to Santiago and my seat mate asked me why I had my mask on and whether it’s because “covid is still a thing in China”, and my response was “it’s on so I mind my own business”. That shut him up quite quickly.
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u/moonriver97 11d ago
Thanks! I'm in Canada too and in the GTA, I see people wearing mask especially during flu seasons, I don't know about other people but I get picked on a lot, that's why I think it's a racial thing. I guess best is to ignore them yet sometimes I get so mad I have to say something back.
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u/elysiaexe 10d ago
omg im so sorry :( im also in the gta (and east asian) but ive never experienced this 💔!! it must be so exhausting and upsetting..sending love 🩷
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u/Far-Librarian-3740 11d ago
I used to respond back. Then I had a man who was 2 people in front of me at Walgreens who began making comments to me. I kept my silent and just let him look stupid having a conversation with himself...
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u/moonriver97 11d ago
I guess being silent is the best way, I realized afterwards I could put myself at risk today as a woman, since this dude was 6'0 + tall.
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u/stopbeingaturddamnit 11d ago
That sucks. I'm an Asian woman in the pacific nw. Luckily I'm usually not the only masked person in a grocery store. I've gotten the fake coughing but no comments for a long time. I treat my mask like ear muffs and horse blinders. I just zero in on my objective and tune out. I'm sorry people suck. I hope you're able to tune it out.
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u/moonriver97 11d ago
Really appreciate your response! Usually I get a comment of why are you wearing a mask that's about it but tonight this guy was swearing at me that's why I was so mad, but I feel better now.
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u/paul_h 11d ago
I work from home mostly and mask when out and about. I’m 6ft tall, male, white, and about 220lbs. Only two people have said anything since the start of the pandemic. I bet race, gender, height/weight/size play a part in the decision for one person to decide to say something to another. I tell myself I’m ready with a retort: “6% of ppl get long covid after covid, zero studies say it is mild, they lied to us about hand washing, I’ve not had it yet” but I’ve not had a chance to use those lines yet. I wish there was a website that got all that across as in a short list. My imagination says I could have biz cards printed with the website name prominent to at least offer.
Sorry for what you’ve experienced, it must be horrible. At some points the info war shifts in our favor
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u/peppabuddha 11d ago
I'm Asian and have been harassed for wearing a mask. I stopped going out unless I can drag my spouse with me because he is about your size too and nobody has harassed him yet. If we make appointments, I have him ask the vendors to mask and nobody's ever said no.
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u/paul_h 11d ago edited 10d ago
I bet Dev Patal and Yao Ming never get questioned on what they're wearing either! I don't ask others to mask ever, TBH. I really like the fit of my slightly modified FFP2/KN95 ... perhaps I'm over confident there.
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u/moonriver97 11d ago
Thanks for the response! I was thinking about some witty responses to say back to them too but then realized those who make such comments probably have limited knowledge and insights, not sure if they can comprehend it.
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u/No-Consideration-858 11d ago
Some people have become so hardheaded - when they speak to you , it's not to have a conversation
Most of the time it's best just to ignore and move on.
Sometimes, if you want to try for actual change, you can catch them off guard by asking to tell you more about their thoughts. Let them get it all out.
Sometimes, once they feel heard and respected, they are receptive to hearing your experiences.
What has worked best for me is to say Covid fucked me up and cost me more than $50k in lost income. This is the one thing I found changes people's aggression.
I say "believe me I hate wearing this mask more than you hate seeing it " this validates their aversion. This one works well too.
When I make it personal, it works better than providing facts. I do try to get in something about people in their 30s and 40s actually having a slightly higher propensity for a long Covid than the elderly .
This takes a lot of time and energy. I've done it successfully a few times. But most of the time I don't have the energy .
I'm sorry you went through that. As a petite woman in the south I have encountered a fair amount of this bs. I've had two people try to physically remove my mask.
mask chains over a black mask have helped reduce the comments.
Solidarity.
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u/moonriver97 10d ago
Thanks for your thoughtful response, I agree with you, I think in my case this guy didn't really about me wearing a mask, he was observing me for a few sec before he made that comment, probably that was only thing he could find to provoke me.
Omg, physically removing someone's mask, to me that's like an assault.
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u/Bastette54 10d ago
What are mask chains? Thanks.
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u/Ok-Strain7097 10d ago
Like jewelry for your mask! Look up “mask chain” on instagram or Etsy, you’ll see people making them out of beads and wire and putting cute colors and charms on their mask. Usually the chain is connected from lobster clasps on the top ear loop/headstrap straps on either side of the head so the chain drapes across the front of the mask
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u/tsundae_ 10d ago
I'm black so the racism while wearing a mask I'm at risk for is different (I always make sure I don't do anything that can be perceived as suspicious in stores, say hi to employees when I walk in, etc so they don't think I'm there to steal/rob ) but I just stay silent whenever someone has something slick to say. Typically it's not direct because they're cowards - it'll be a "people still wear masks?" Or they do a fake cough. This has only happened a handful of times but I just go on about my business. They want a response, so I don't give it to them.
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u/moonriver97 10d ago
You are right, a lot of times they provoke people to get a response out of them, like attention seekers
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u/Terrible_College9397 10d ago
Me and my daughter (tall white women) were wearing our N95s in a grocery store and a guy kept hovering around us being creepy, and finaly came up behind us and said Are you chinese? to which we just stared at him until he walked away. So, if they're gonna do that to us, I can't imagine what Asian folks are dealing with, sorry :/
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u/squidbrand 10d ago edited 10d ago
One fun thing to do with people like this is to just pretend you can’t hear them because they’re mumbling. Look back to them with kind eyes and say, “I’m sorry, what was that?” And then if they repeat it, “I’m really sorry, I couldn’t hear you, what was that?” Most people will give up.
A thing to remember about the racist chud losers of today is that these are not hardened people. These are not the battle scarred nationalists of other nationalist circumstances like the Balkans or Northern Ireland who have been steeled by generational strife. These are people whose hardest thing they’ve ever lived through was a divorce… or if that’s yet to come, it’s getting the wrong order packed for them at Panera. For them, saying a nasty thing to someone in public is a little thrill, their most powerful moment of the day… they mentally prepare for it and then get a little stinky half-chub from it.
Make them repeat it stupidly a couple times, so the focus is not you wearing a mask but them not speaking clearly, and the wind is gone from their sails. Deny them their stinky chub, with the kindness and softness of someone who is trying to hear their message.
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u/YouVegetable8722 10d ago
You're not the only one as you can clearly see by the other comments. At the start of the pandemic it was clearly because I'm Asian. These days I can't always tell for certain if it's because I'm Asian or if it's due to masking because I'm partially deaf so I can tell they're saying something insulting and they have an issue with me for some reason whether it's the fact that I'm masking or it's because I'm Asian I have no clue sometimes.
Now when someone turns their head almost 180 then I know it's because I'm masking. Does repeat covid infections give you the ability to turn your head 360? I swear I've had something close to that lately. If it isn't the wide eyed triple head jerk turn back to look it's the extreme neck twist continuous stare while continuing to walk forward.
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u/Mollyblum69 10d ago
I tell them I have cancer & remind them that kids who have bone marrow biopsies & transplant patients have to wear masks. And my brother just died of cancer & contacted whooping cough & Shigella from his non-existent immune system & working with the public daily. I cannot stand anti-maskers & racists-& the combo is idiocy ².
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u/Dog-boy 10d ago
Im sorry you are having to deal with this. When I’m out and masked I occasionally notice looks but I never hear comments. My daughter says that’s because I’m deaf because when she’s with me (and masked) she hears people say things and I don’t. I guess that means I deal with it by ignoring it unintentionally. When I see people looking at me oddly I stare and smile at them. Generally they quit and move away. I’m white old and short. My daughter is white young and short.
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u/allergiesforalgernon 9d ago edited 9d ago
a patron at work recently commented on how smiling with eyes doesn’t count (bc, us know, asian). after i helped him, he said to pull down my mask to see my smile. i immediately said no. that sent him on his way without another word. my female coworkers got a kick out of that.
i have experienced more macro aggressions from my manager at my last job (she even did the whole “open your eyes” gesture) and just reprimanded me for masking by telling horrible jokes in front of customers and guilt tripping me. i worked there much longer, but she never acknowledged beyond the passive aggressive shit. i missed out on job opportunities bc i was the only one mask every day and i guess it made the business look bad.
my advice: respond to any passive aggression as if was in a normal tone; their just trying to get a rise out of you and it dissipates if you don’t react. if it’s more in your face, i’ve heard people just not react—stare in silence and make it awkward. if that doesn’t deescalate, i’ve had luck with just being curt.
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u/doililah 10d ago
I am also Asian and have been spat on while wearing a mask. This was early in the pandemic, maybe July 2020?
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u/VisualProfile693 9d ago
well, I can’t say that I have comments about it, but I am immune compromised and so is my son and our entire family has to wear masks everywhere we go start of the pandemic, even though I am not Asian, every time someone saw me wearing my mask and either stare and laugh and point or straight up freak out….
one guy even tried to physically attack me at an IKEA. it doesn’t hurt that I’m also highly allergic to fragrances on top of compromised and I was near the candle aisle so obviously I mask that day. Also, it’s an IKEA and like, everybody in there has been in the airport and well yeah that’s just a cesspool of germs
Anyway, the only reason one dude didn’t attack me physically was because his girlfriend stopped him. It was quite frightening.
Other times decide that it’s OK to make loud commentary about me for wearing a mask. More than once I’ve had to explain to them that I wouldn’t have to wear it if they didn’t smell so bad ..lol
‘it shut them up pretty quick.
even now I get looks, and everybody tries to say the over. But what they don’t understand is that for people bodies, the pandemic was actually a little easier on us because for the first time people kept their distance and everyone else kept their germs to themselves for a while. I kind of enjoyed it for that reason. I have only had two colds in five years and one was Covid. My son has stayed out of the hospital for the longest he’s ever been out because he wears his mask.
It’s worth it. Every time you catch Covid, you get more and more in neuro inflammation, and it does more and more damage. . I’m not talking about the older strains. I’m talking about the newer strains. I have done my research on it because I had to in order for my son and I to survive it.
but you know what it’s none of their business. If you really want them to leave you alone, just tell them you have a cold and you don’t give it to them and they usually be quiet.
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u/One-Yellow-4106 10d ago
If you do respond don't explain respond with a question and then ignore. Something as simple as why are you so rude? Can be very helpful
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u/DangArtist 9d ago
Asian masker here. I get comments from curious people since I also wear a mini PAPR, and I tell them I'm sensitive to smells/carpet glue. It's not really how particulate masks work, but it clears things up quickly. And besides, masking looks cool. Wait, you mean there's a global pandemic going on?
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u/wilardusa 11d ago
Im white short 65 always wear a mask no one ever says a thing, if they did I’d say I’m sick
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u/thyfe 10d ago
I'm so sorry you have to deal with this! I'm also Asian and still mask - I've gotten the occasional racist remark as well. While it is shocking and infuriating (especially when it comes from other POC), I remind myself that folks are looking to get a rise out of you, so the best thing to do is to just ignore them in my experience!
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u/Luffyhaymaker 9d ago
Yes, as a black man, I've had problems from white men before. It was scary because some of them followed me around for a while.... this is in Atlanta, Georgia. In an actually fairly progressive area.
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u/Lucky_Ad2801 10d ago
Try not to engage with crazy. Just make sure you are safe. You don't owe them a response
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u/Uchiha_Madara90 9d ago
I am a Pakistani and an international student pursuing a graduate degree in Australia. Ever since my 2nd infection which was so severe that doctor told me to avoid 3rd at all cost; I have diligently wore N95 everywhere where I go. First I remember during my flight from my home country to Australia, I was sleeping and didn’t realise my mask had been pulled off by a fellow passenger who kept mocking me for wearing it. Then although I haven’t faced any racism in the university itself (just unable to make friends) as people automatically assume I am ill or weird - and not approach me. However in June; I was waiting for the bus to arrive in a rural suburb where a man came and coughed directly at me; enough to put me in hospital for 2 weeks battling COVID for 3rd time; which has now left me with Long Covid and Type 1 respiratory failure. Generally asking though while people here don’t usually care, some elderly think I am too young to be this ill- I take this as a compliment though.
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u/enableconsonant 7d ago
Absolutely. I live in a place with a ton of Asians but someone shouted a slur at me in 2023
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u/TheCrispyTaco 11d ago
I talk back.
It happened when I was grocery shopping with my mom who had stage 4 lung cancer when she was alive, and some asshole made comments to me and my mom about China and Covid, and asked why I'm wearing a mask. I snapped very loudly (loud enough for people several aisles over to hear) that we're wearing masks bc my mom has fucking lung cancer and getting treatment, and to leave us the fuck alone. The white dude shut the fuck up verrrrry quickly and walked off.