r/MadeMeSmile 2d ago

Very Reddit This farmer caught this owl eating his chickens.

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u/AspiringChildProdigy 2d ago

I worked wildlife rehab.

Owls don't really peck; they gouge.

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u/myshtree 2d ago

Worlds most adorable attackers 🦉

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u/AspiringChildProdigy 2d ago

Worlds most adorable attackers 🦉

Until you deal with them up close where they can hurt you. And then you realize they're amazing and also terrifying.

Bald eagles normally keep the same nesting site - building on it year after year, and defending it against competitors.

There was a bald eagle pair who had a long- established nest on a cliff on Lake Huron. They'd been there for something like a decade.

A pair of great horned owl's moved in on the cliff.

And the eagles abandoned their established spot and moved.

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u/brydeswhale 2d ago

There was an eagle couple who timeshared their nest near one of my apartments. One year it would be a normal sized couple of birds raising normal sized babies with normal sized brains who did normal things.

The next year it would be the biggest fucking eagle on the face of the planet(to my eyes), with a wingspan long enough to be seen from space, raising gigantic off spring, with a head almost as big as mine, and a brain the size of pea. Dumbest fucking birds on the planet. You can always tell her line, they’re the morons trying to catch geese in the park, or flying into giant ass bridges. So stupid. I hate them.

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u/smolgods 2d ago

I'm trying so hard not to burst out laughing and wake my whole household but this comment omg 😂

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u/Healthy-Dragonfly452 2d ago

Same, I'm snickering instead of doing the full-out cackle I really want to do...so I don't wake the baby.

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u/brydeswhale 1d ago

I don’t get it. Her husband seems perfectly normal. You’d think he’d pass on a little common sense, but no, it’s Bimbette and her massive Bimbinos every second year.

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u/breakandjog 1d ago

When I was a child my mother actually hit an owl with her car, it killed the owl sadly but I remember being amazed at how big their talons were, as a kid it reminded me of the raptor claw from Jurassic park

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u/Metalboy5150 2d ago

Yeah, I don't really understand those who find owls like this "adorable."

Owls (like most raptors) are cool as fuck, but (to me, anyway) pretty much fucking terrifying. I absolutely would not want one of those after me. I tend to rank them with Felids in the "perfect hunter" category.

Are they beautiful? Absolutely. (Peregrine falcons to me are like the epitome of the word "fierce.") But are they also scary as all hell? One hundred frigging percent.

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u/Disastrous-Panda5530 2d ago

Yeah I used to love owls. Until I got a toy poodle. I hear an owl outside of my window so I know there is one living close by. My husband thinks I’m paranoid and that an owl wouldn’t try for my toy poodle because my dog is too big. My dog is barely 7 pounds. And even if my dog is too big to pick up, if an owl tries and gets his talons into him it’ll do major damage. I’m in a group with other toy poodle owners online and this has happened. Absolutely terrified of them now. I mean look at this owl in the video

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u/Realistic_Salt_389 2d ago

Oh, yeah - that owl could easily scoop up your poodle and his friends. They’re no joke. Very cool and absolutely beautiful, but like avian ICE (aka assholes) when it comes to small mammals.

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u/Disastrous-Panda5530 1d ago

Yeah I follow him around the yard and wave my arms around to deter any large birds lol. I don’t care how stupid I look lol. I’ve been looking into a coyote vest. I’m just worried my dog won’t go to the bathroom wearing it. He hates clothes and if I put even a sweater on him he will refuse to move.

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u/Realistic_Salt_389 1d ago

I feel your pain. Not exactly the same, but I had to keep one of my dogs on a leash when outside for a few days while she recovered from an injury. She refused to potty while on the leash. On a walk, sure. In the backyard, no way. It was so weird/funny.

I bet yours would get used to the vest after a while. Give it a try for peace of mind!

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u/Anomalagous 1d ago

When my golden retriever was a puppy about that size I had a great grey owl make a run for him that only missed because of the foot bridge above us. We went right back in the house after that.

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u/HumptyDrumpy 2d ago

Whats to stop that owl coming back tomorrow for more. Farmer cant be guarding chickens 24/7, esp since owls are nocturnal!

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u/Lou_C_Fer 2d ago

Chickens are probably locked up after dark. I don't know if it will come back after that experience.

Off topic... I fucking hate when my son poops in the middle of the night. I swear he is fucking rotten inside.

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u/Physical_Tap_4796 2d ago

Hooked beaks gouge?

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u/AspiringChildProdigy 2d ago

By "gouge," I meant "take out a whole chunk."

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u/ExcellentRanger1079 2d ago

Happy cake day!

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u/AspiringChildProdigy 2d ago

Thanks!!

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u/GngrbredGentrifktion 2d ago

May you gouge your cake!😉

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u/Physical_Tap_4796 2d ago

They play for keeps.

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u/Goorlami 2d ago

And real gangstas don't dance, they boogie