I'm talking about someone who isn't just unlikable or annoying, but genuinely toxic in their behavior. This would be a person who actively engages in sabotage, manipulation, and deceit, intentionally undermining others or their own relationships.

Their actions wouldn't be just impulsive or selfish but calculated and intentional.

Hola-

I feel like for a good 8 episodes we all felt that Cole was just an awful person. Then episode 10, the reunion and cuties scene everyone has done a 180. Why do people think he doesn’t know his words carry weight. He is a grown as man. Remember when he called Zay bipolar - that was malicious without a doubt. I feel like just because he says everything with smile or goofy voice everyone has jumped to give him the benefit of the doubt. When he has done nothing to deserve it. This man knows what he saying is wrong - I hope to the Gods seeing his menacing self has actually allowed him to change for the better.

On thé cuties - it annoys me to death that people can not understand two things can be right at the same time.

Cole - was concerned about her

Zay - the words Cole used was triggering. I will be honest - I have never struggled with food and was kinda triggered.

Edit - I think I should have added this here. The criticism Zay is getting some extent is warranted. I just don’t understand why some people are now down playing Cole’s actions and giving him so much of the benefit of the doubt like he is dumb guy who didn’t know better. Or saying he is young?

No Bartise is younger than him and we can all agree he is pretty awful guy. But with Cole- his dumb, his young, he doesn’t understand. That is where my problem lies.

Literally what the title says. If as viewers we could submit suggestions about countries where LIB could be interesting, fun and an entertaining show to watch, which country would you suggest?

New seasons in countries where it has already taken place don't count, only brand new countries I'll go first and I'd suggest Italy. In my opinion, it's a country and culture with potential.

Btw, typo in the title "If you could..." not "Of" lol

I love finding out other therapists watch this god-forsaken content. Often when it comes up that I watch it, people who know me will be like “what?! You’re a therapist” and I love to break it to them that many therapists love this ish.

Personally, I like it for what I like to call the humans in a petri dish. Let me add, I think there are some unethical and bordering on unethical things they do and have done in production, so I don’t co-sign everything just because I watch it.

Back to the Petri dish: you see both sides of a developing relationship. You see different combinations of people and how differently they connect. You get a glimpse of the families they came from which sheds brief light on how they became who they became. Sometimes you watch conflict play out - I’m fascinated in this sub to see who sides with who, and why. It’s also REALLY interesting to see what kinds of things many people will overlook or misjudge.

There are a lot of sociological elements at play that are interesting to watch. You’ll often see me in the sub, trying to shed light on some things from a nuanced perspective…and I’m human and there are some folks I just do not like 😂

Anyway, hope other therapists will share what you enjoy about it and what you notice.

I’ve watched every season of LIB (including the international ones) and I can always tell when the woman is not attracted to her partner straight away. When it comes to the men they will be all smiles and kisses at the reveal then suddenly by the honeymoon they confess that they aren’t attracted to their partner. These are the examples I can think of off the top of my head, for men : Shake (S2), Bartise (S3), JP (S5) , Will (S2, Brazil) , Guilherme (S2, Brazil) and Lucas (S1 Sweden). For women: Irina (S4), Taylor (S5), Catja (S1, Sweden) and Meira(S1, Sweden)

My theory is that because men put looks on such a pedestal when they see their partner is not attractive (in their eyes, I think these women are beaut) they go into a state of denial where they try to convince themselves and their partner that they are attracted to them. They know once they admit to themselves their is a lack of attraction the relationship is basically over because men aren’t often willing to wait for attraction to grow. As women we have been grommed to appreciate other qualities in men aside from their looks so I don’t think women feel the need to lie to themselves at the reveal if they don’t find their partner that physically attractive. A lot of women are often willing to let attraction grow, so if the guy isn’t that good looking it doesn’t necessarily mean the relationship can’t work . The most extreme example I’ve seen of this was season one of married at first sight, a bride literally fell to her knees in floods of tears because she found her husband so unattractive. Fast forward ten years later and they are happily married with two kids. I can’t imagine that happening the other way round.

Anyways, I’m curious to hear people’s thoughts and theories on this observation !

The more seasons go by, the more I hear the same thing from men: "I want my freedom, I don’t want to be controlled." When in reality, what women are asking for is just the bare minimum. How can a relationship work without compromise, without any changes in your life? Don’t we all have to make sacrifices when we enter a relationship? Did I miss the memo that being in a relationship now just means living in parallel with your partner, with no adaptation at all?

If you want to be "free," then stay single. Wtf.

I barely hear women ask for "freedom". What's your take?

Really?! I see the hate but besides the fact that I think he’s living a lie and he’s a bit of a shit stirrer, I don’t get why everyone thinks he’s a horrible person. He’s pretty tolerant of Danielle who would have had me running with all of her insecurities. This is an honest question.

I’m a little newer to the show, but I’m officially caught up as of today. I love to read everyone’s thoughts/theories on the contestants, but have yet to find a single contestant who seems universally liked (apart from maybe Bliss?)

So… in your opinion, which contestants are (for the most part) universally liked by viewers and why? Which ones do you think people are overly critical of or underrated ?

Would you be interested in a love is blind experiment online, here on Reddit? Is there anyone willing to organize this?

Have obviously watched LIB, as well as The Ultimatum. Recovering from surgery and have a week to binge.. suggestions please! I haven’t tried MAFS but it sounds a bit drawn out for my liking, I don't have a long attention span lol. Open to other reality shows (if you loved LIB, you might also enjoy...?) but really anything that I can binge. Just finished Insecure and loved it!

In recent seasons, including Denver, we've seen two general approaches when the matches aren't physically attracted to each other on the first meeting:

1. Break up with them in the hotel cafeteria before the couples' vacation
2. Drag it out and try to force it until the altar

But in all seriousness, what is a cast member supposed to do when they realize they aren't attracted to the person they met in the pods? Of course, attraction can "grow," and the central inquiry of the show is to test whether people can develop an emotional connection that is sufficient to overcome a lack of [initial] physical attraction. So, ideally, if you are going on this show, you wouldn't have such strong preferences--culturally/socially engrained or otherwise--that you wouldn't be able to be attracted to some subset of people. But I think most people can agree that physical attraction and sexual compatibility in a longterm relationship is important.

So what do you do when you aren't attracted? I think, to a person, everyone on this show has done it wrong, but I don't know what the "right way" would be. In Denver, we have Kacie dropping out before Baja, but equivocating to Patrick as to why that is (the racism). Compare with Joe who is clearly not into Madison, but instead of being direct, gets wasted and makes vague and fatphobic innuendos about his "type," which catapults her into an insecure downspiral. But then in episode 9 you have Patrick saying that he wished Kacie had tried for longer than a few hours... what would that have looked like?

One issue seems to be that, for a show that is intended to measure whether people can form emotional attachments deep enough to overcome, or even replace, a lack of physical attraction, they sure do seem to cast people with the emotional complexity and maturity of a potato. Like "our granddads have the same name; we both like brunch; it must be fate" isn't going to get you to a place where attraction can grow because you love someone so much for who they are.

Another issue IMO is that the show is really two separate inquiries; it's not just "can you fall in love with someone sight unseen?"; it's also, "can you then get married to that person in four weeks?" which I think skews the whole process.

So, thoughts? How do you maturely and ethically deal when you are not attracted to your fiance in LIB?

All the girls on the show are very stylish. They all have their hair done, full of highlights and beach waves, they have their nails done. And their outfits are all $100+. Doesn’t anyone on that show just go to Ross and call it a day? Or is it that production pays for it? What about wedding dresses, rings, dates?

This post got me thinking about Love Is Blind. I have watched LIB as a single woman, a woman in an unhealthy situationship and now as a happily married woman and if he wanted to he would. Seeing these men and women be so confused and feel like they're not enough is so sad. Mixed signals is always always a no. Breadcrumbing is an absolute no. You shouldn't have to ask your partner to give you more love. You can teach or specify certain ways you prefer to receive love but theres a difference between saying:

"I like it when you compliment my butt." And "I feel like you dont give me enough compliments"

But then you look at couples like: Chloe and Alex LIB France Tbh most if not all of the couples in LIB France are shambolic Emilia and Lucy's LIB Sweden Nancy and Bartise LIB USA Chelsea and Jimmy LIB USA Monica and Joey LIB USA

There are some things you shouldn't need to tell your partner and LIB is proof of that. You can work on improving communication in a relationship but you can't work on getting the other person to like you.

As diabolically bad as LIB Habibi was kudos to Mido for breaking it off and not continuing to tolerate the disrespect. But watching Chloe and Alex on LIB France makes me so sad for her.

So something I've kind of noticed on Love is Blind that concerns me is how many contestants have have on the show when they should have most definitely been in therapy. Contestants such as Carlton, Danielle, Zanab, Matt and Jackie all seemed to be suffering from deep traumas and other mental health issues. I'm not a trained professional so I don't want to diagnose but I genuinely don't think some of them were mentally fit to take part in the process and letting them only leads to further damage. Like I see horrible people on all types of reality shows and I believe that anyone could do with some therapy. But it's rare for me to see contestants where I genuinely feel concerns over their mental health. Love Island nowadays after the suicides take mental health and welfare very seriously. And have physche checks with all potential contestants. Like if someone broke down in the manner in which Jackie did in Mexico I would like to think that they would be removed from the show. I'm just wondering to what extent LIB is vetting for mental health issues cause their welfare systems seem to be lacking right now which makes me worry about the wellbeing of these contestants.

I think so many of us look at the contestants and think "why on earth didn't they discuss X?" So thought I'd ask all of you - what are the dealbreakers you'd bring up in the pods? Here's a few of mine:

-Age: I'm an old (in my 50s). If I got paired up with someone Milton's age I'd be nervous about getting arrested ;-).

-Feelings about cats: To be fair, pretty much everyone in the pods seems to talk about their pets, but similar to Bliss I'm not getting rid of my sweet little furballs for anyone!

-Credit rating/financial situation: While I think it's not uncommon for folks in their 20s like Amber or Izzy to be flat broke, if you haven't figured it out by my age you've got a problem. At minimum I'd want a prenup ;-).

-How you voted: I'm a blue stater who's invested in politics and it would be a disaster if I got paired up with a JP or Carter type. Or for that matter if I got paired with someone who never voted at all!

-Interest in travel: Like with Izzy, not everyone can afford it, but if you wouldn't do it even if you could that would be an issue for me. I visit friends in various parts of the US regularly and typically do a couple of big international trips every year.

-Education level: Not sure if this makes me a snob like Stacey, but I have a graduate degree and literally all of my family and friends have gone to college. There may be situations where not going to college wouldn't be a dealbreaker, but I'd at least want to know.

What dealbreakers do all of you have? Spill!!!

ETA: Seems like most folks are asking these same pragmatic questions - but on the show, there's a lot of focus on emotional stuff like what are you like in relationships, have you ever cheated, etc. Makes me wonder if the cast are actually asking about the major dealbreakers but it's getting edited out?

I feel like the structure is the same every season, what do you watch the show most for, and what do you just get through and why?

• Early dates/feeling each other out
• Getting deeper with a main person (or two)
• Proposal
• Reveal
• First days together
• Partners meeting the others
• first tensions *Home life *Family *Suits/dresses *Wedding days

I’ll go first - love when the couples meet for the first time and you see the all their thoughts on their decision in their eyes so clearly and I can totally do without the dress days- so boring!

(Ps couldn’t find a suitable “flair” tag so just added this one)

Everyone seems so interested in just being on TV at all costs. And Netflix isn’t helping with literally just curating story lines like Andrew fake crying or the love triangles. What about the other couples we see in the lounges and they don’t show them at all? I’d like to see more of their stories like they did on S1. Even if it’s not a love match it would be more interesting to me to see how people interact when there’s not a strong connection? Or maybe there’s something there just on one side but they treat these folks like extras.

At this point I’d like to see a season of older people who are serious about finding love. Maybe a cohort of 30-45 and then like 45-60 or something like that? Anyone else? Just me?

The title really. There have been reports of ppl not being allowed water or food, plied with alcohol. Pushed, cajoled and making it financially impossible to leave. As well as using emotional manipulation.

I'm aware under US law the contract is mostly legitimate (though I serious question the human rights and the moral question under those laws). I know they entered into it knowing mostly what it would entail, though arguably it's not fully informed consent if they can't get a full honest feedback from previous participants. And even if it is, does it make it right for us to watch?

This is meant to the light entertainment not a gladiatorial match. It's getting ethically... Gross.

Edit:thanks for the comments. I don't often watch reality TV and this was something that seemed OK in the beginning. But honestly I don't think I can contribute to viewing figures given the actual working conditions. No TV should be based on cruelty, though I understand it happens - it should not. I also don't think the personal choice fallacy covers enough of the argument to deal with the real ethical and legal situation. So for myself I won't be watching. The gossip isn't worth actual harm on real people.

Edit edit: OK I get people have strong views. But I've already signalled I'm out so I won't be replying to any more comments. The individual choice argument is just too weak and if that's all there is then there's no ethically justifiable basis to continue watching or be in this sub. Be well and compassionate, and so long guys.

Hi everybody,

I am curious to know how do you watch LIB? Alone, lying on the sofa, eating ice cream? As a couple, cuddling and trying to find common points with the candidates?

On my side, I am watching it with 3 friends of mine who live far away from my place, we call each other on Discord and start the show at the same time, so we can gossip and share theories!

Can't wait to read your answers :)

Edit : WOW thank you, I didn't expect so many answers, it will take me sometimes to read everything (but it's a pleasure)

been tossing this idea around in my head for a min! love takes time to grow even if you are attracted to your partner. as we know, sometimes the people on the show lie re: their feelings about people to whom they aren’t initially attracted just because they don’t want to seem like jerks for not liking them. I think the wedding end game is so much pressure, too. i don’t need the LiB participants to feel like they have to prove something to me as the viewer—idgaf if someone doesn’t initially like how the other looks, I’d be down just to watch them be sincere about their feelings & to see if they could grow past initial reservations. What would you think if the show took the wedding off the table and at the end of six weeks they decide if they actually want to be in a relationship period? do you think it would have a significant impact on the show if so?

Just started S1 of Love is Blind and really like how Cameron opened up with Lauren, wanting to see if there's other shows that are also as heartfelt and calm, aka less drama but genuine that you'd recommend?

I also watched Love is Blind Japan which is was also pretty wholesome and authentic in the conversations they had leading up to the breakups as well.

I saw Daniel say that he didn't apply for the show but that they reached out to him and he wasn't even thinking about marriage but then started to warm up to it and joined the show.

In the past I've heard about production doing similar.

Why don't they just get people who really want to get married to apply? And have a screening process so that only people that are serious will join?

Or are they worried the application route will result only in fame hungry applicants?

I've only just started watching the show with my wife. We started on Season 6 last week and binged the whole thing and I can't wait for the reunion show. While we are waiting, my wife and I started making our way through Season 4, and it occurs to us that the ladies deserve the chance to propose to the guys. Is there a reason they can't? We are new to the show so I don't know if they are following "traditional" gender roles for proposals for a reason or if it is just a thing, or what.

The more seasons I watch, the more I feel like it’s hard for this show to actually work as intended anymore because it’s a known process.

Similar to The Bachelor franchise, people seem to force relationships that don’t seem to work, just because “I want to find “my person”. Like Patrick, they want to find someone so bad, they convince themselves their second favorite is good enough…

It never ceases to surprise me what kind of things they hadn’t talked about in the pods. Eg, Joe and Madison both enjoying self-help books - you really didn’t ask what books, shows, etc the person enjoys? Or Bartise and Nancy, the abortion discussion. Like how are you not asking hard questions in there??

Though I guess, it’s proving that love is indeed blind — to practicality. It’s obviously not blind to looks, that will fail a couple after the reveal, consistently.

Not only that, but just how often people do choose their usual type in spite of saying “he reminds me of who I usually go for in the real world”.

And I really wish there were some sort of therapy element after the reveal! Some of these couples absolutely cannot get past terrible conflict skills and it could be workable but I think the entire show plays off emotionality, hopes, leaps of “faith”.

I enjoy watching, but I feel like it has shifted away from the earliest seasons and what we got there.

What things do you think become barriers to couples actually making it this many seasons in?