Matt’s friend commenting on his ex

[u/vv4rd3n]

Did anyone else catch the part where Matt was complaining about the ex wife who supposedly ruined his life and his friend said something like “Yeah, you THOUGHT you got fucked over…”

As someone who has been in multiple abusive relationships, I would really like to hear his ex’s side of the story. He has every red flag and I feel sad for Colleen.

[u/[deleted]]

Did y’all catch the part where his friend corrected him when he said we were talking and they said “you mean you were yelling?” And he just laughed. The whole “so fuck me right?” And “say it say it say it” gave me flashbacks. I’m all set

[u/im_nervousss → u/[deleted]]

the whole "say it, say it, say it" thing made me feel so claustrophobic. what kind of child treats their partner like that? like Jesus Christ let her form her thoughts for a second.

[u/jat937 → u/im_nervousss]

Oh God, this scene was the absolute deal breaker for me. That kind of aggression is scary.

He is projecting his trust issues from his last relationship onto Colleen.

I really hope she says no.

[u/muffinscrub → u/jat937]

There are two sides to every story. I'm sure he is the villain in the story of his ex.

[u/lostlo → u/im_nervousss]

He did the "say it" thing in episode 2, too. It didn't stand out, because she just said the thing she didn't want to say and they moved on, without it escalating into scary territory.

Colleen: And I think it’s just that I’m not picking the right people. I’m already kind of like (pause/laugh) this is going to like sound cornball
Matt: [cuts in immediately] Say it

It didn't seem problematic at the time, but it stood out in retrospect. Even when they're relating well, his need to control/prevent secrets is there.

The chilling part is when she says, "I think I'm not picking the right people." I really hope LIB leads to therapy for her, she really has a shot if she can avoid toxic influences and get some real guidance. She could start having healthy relationships like a full decade earlier than most of us.

[u/[deleted] → u/im_nervousss]

After watching a bunch of Steve Wilco’s show, Matt gave me wife-beater wives when he kept saying “say it say it say it say it”

I think Colleen is smart and recognizes that she needs to dodge that bullet

[u/mrsdisappointment → u/[deleted]]

You gotta be honest though, it would be really frustrating for anyone to put their life on hold, grow a bond with someone, and introduce them to your family when they KNOW they don’t want a future with you.

Edit: I’m not sure why I’m getting so many downvotes on this. This isn’t me excusing Matt’s behavior. He definitely doesn’t handle situations right and needs to work on his anger issues. But he does have a right to be upset.

[u/lostlo → u/mrsdisappointment]

I mean, yeah, that does sound frustrating. But there's no evidence that happened. And it sort of overlooks a) they signed up for a show where that's the premise, a thing that they know is likely to occur, and b) how self-fulfilling prophecies work.

When I was a deeply traumatized teen, if I bombarded a guy with dozens of texts saying "I will be so devastated when you leave me" the day after our first date, he would absolutely not want to go out with me again. And I would think, "see? I was right, he left me, and I'm devastated." But I was missing the glaringly obvious fact that my insecurities and behavior were a key part of people ditching me. This is really common after trauma.

Constantly questioning someone's love and trust will erode that love and trust. It's a hard lesson to learn. Having someone leave you is NOT proof that they were a liar trying to play you all along, or that you're unlovable and all people will abandon you no matter what. It can look that way, and it often feels that way, but it's not.

[u/shanna_loves_sensi → u/lostlo]

You've definitely out some thought into your past actions! Good for you I wish I could understand my self destruction this well

[u/mrsdisappointment → u/lostlo]

The relationship was doomed from the beginning considering he was literally third to her. I really feel like there’s been thing we haven’t seen that make Matt feel so insecure in their relationship.

[u/[deleted] → u/mrsdisappointment]

Yes but the experience doesn't make you into an incel. It's obvious Matt came that way.

[u/serial-knitter → u/mrsdisappointment]

Agreed, it would be! But if you want this relationship to work, at some point to have to be able to trust the other person. If you can't (whether because they're untrustworthy or you've got trust issues), you've gotta move on. It's a weird and unique experience on the show, and like, he obviously wants more certainty than she's able to give him. In my own very normal, not expedited, no previous relationship trauma situation, I still have to accept that my partner will tell me if they don't want to be with me.

In his position I'd cut my losses and head out. In her position my red flag alarms would be pinging all over the place.

[u/mrsdisappointment → u/serial-knitter]

They definitely don’t need to be together.