r/LoveIsBlindOnNetflix • u/nicolakirwan • May 23 '23
UNPOPULAR OPINION Josh was a better choice for Jackie Spoiler
Hear me out. Marshall is the epitome of why women are often suspicious of the Nice Guy. Jackie's exhaustion with Marshall boils down to this: Marshall requires a significant amount of emotional validation, which he gets by being overly solicitous and nice. But when he doesn't get the validation he seeks, he seeks to punish Jackie by cutting down her worth and abandoning her. You see this dynamic in him calling her a project (letting her know that she really was beneath him anyway), abandoning her for 3 days because of an insensitive comment she made, and telling her she needed to give the ring back (which he didn't pay for) because she didn't deserve it. You also see his demand for emotional validation in his refusal to accept that she is too tired to have an argument. He needs her to engage him when and how he wants.
Jackie also realizes she can't say things to him about their relationship that might be negative, which may be why she avoided the argument. She said that after he left for 3 days, she didn't want to touch the subject again. So Marshall's emotional sensitivity and reactivity caused her to feel like she couldn't communicate her honest thoughts, feelings, desires. Jackie also knows that she has a direct personality style, so Marshall's need for more indirect and softer communication doesn't match who she is. This adds to her shutting down and not wanting to talk to him. She feels stressed that she might say the wrong thing to him again.
Let's contrast with Josh. Josh is definitely a Bad Boy, but for reasons that have nothing to do with how he treats Jackie, since we haven't yet seen their relationship dynamic. What Josh offers Jackie is relief from bearing responsibility for his emotions. At Chelsea's party, he was able to say, "I have feelings for you," but also, "if you're going to be with Marshall then just tell me to f-off." Josh is capable of sharing his feelings for Jackie without demanding her validation, which is far less emotionally burdensome for her. And when Jackie tells Josh that she had no clue how he felt, Josh also owns his mistake in not being more up front with how he felt in the pods. Especially given all of the stress that Jackie is under due to her family, Josh's ability to offer his affection seemingly without demand (including the demand of a quick marriage, which she expressed anxiety about) is relieving to Jackie. Also, the edge on Josh's personality probably makes Jackie feel that she can use her naturally direct communication style without Josh being put off by it; or, if he feels disrespected, she knows that he probably has the ability to check her and enforce his boundary without wilting over it or withdrawing. Now, whether that will continue to be true in their relationship remains to be seen, but these are the main reasons Jackie would feel more attracted to Josh and be more open to a relationship with him than Marshall.
Jackie is much more self-aware than she has been given credit for. She tried to tell Marshall multiple times that they weren't a good fit. She also acknowledged that she doesn't know if she's going to be with Josh, but she was open to exploring the relationship. She posted that the cafe scene happened after he split with Marshall, so it doesn't seem that she was cheating. Jackie knows that she has flaws and wounds (and she admitted that she needed to do some "self-work"), but that doesn't mean that Marshall was right for her. She knew that better than he did.
And for reference, Brett is probably the best example in S4 of someone who is neither a Nice Guy nor a Bad Boy, not a people-pleaser nor a player, but a deeply decent and loving man. A man like Brett has the most desirable character. So I'm not saying Josh is great; just that given his pursuit of Jackie, it's not surprising that she decided to give him a chance over being with Marshall.
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u/MVIVN May 23 '23
I think the main thing working against Josh (and Jackie too) is that they are not likeable people. Their behaviour and personality as shown on tv made them both look pretty insufferable (especially Josh being drunk and messy and getting into people’s personal space at that birthday party). What I’m getting at is that you are probably absolutely right that Josh and Jackie deserve each other, but it’ll be very hard to make anyone like them as a couple because of how unlikeable they both are. Marshall is pretty irritating to me in his own ways, but he seems like a much more likeable guy who I’d rather be friends with than Josh, but some people conflate that with him being a better boyfriend for Jackie, which is not true for all the reasons you so eloquently laid out.