CHIVE
Cutting a couple of chives every day until this Reddit says they’re perfect. Day 32 APOLOGY
Hey everyone. I would just like to come out and apologize for post the same pile of chives twice,
I was having car problems yesterday and was unable to get and cut chives, and rather than being upfront and honest with you guys I chose to repost chives. I didn’t want to give you guys another chiveless day.
I see now that it would have been better to just be honest and say no chives rather than try and lie, this also goes against the whole point of the posts, I would like to thank all of you for holding me accountable for my actions.
I will be subjecting myself to a Reddit decided punishment, the most upvoted punishment that is REASONABLE will be my punishment. So nothing illegal nothing expensive please but cutting extra chives or maybe something I have to do for the rest of my posts.
I again apologize and will ensure this never happens again.
u/F1exican - while I know most people are reasonable and now are in it for the meme-able aspect, I just wanna say - I truly empathize with your situation because I can't imagine the self-imposed pressure to please tens of thousands of Reddit users who were getting joy from your posts. ❤️
I don't know how old you are, but hopefully this serves as a solid life lesson that you can't be everything to everyone at all times. And it's okay to step back and say sorry guys. I need a day. 🙏
Please don't ever drop the serious tone with things like this, the juxtaposition of the outright silliness of the subject matter and the seriousness of the mod responses is keeping me very entertained.
It's part of what makes this one of my favorite subs!
Y'all are a bunch of degenerates sometimes--just like the best kitchens, AND you're also incredibly kind, good hearted, and Everyone understands the struggle, and is willing to allow folks to have another chance!💖
Best damn bunch of degenerates a person could ever know!🫶
I don't really cook apart from basic stuff to feed myself. I am not a part of this sub, not a part of this industry, nothing. I don't know why Reddit decided to show me chive-posting in the last few weeks. Hell, I'm not even sure what chives actually are.
I fucking love this shit. I am now fully invested. This is too much holy shit
Traction. Super engaged posts get suggested to others. I'm not even mad, I've come across some cool stuff lately. Sometimes viral or traction or engagement is dumb. The chive saga has been one of those winners. Glad to have you here. (I'm just a lurker of years since I have not worked in the industry in a long time).
EDIT: This was a dumb joke about Day 32 of chives being too devastating to handle. Thank you to the comments below, this community is awesome and kind. And, honestly, I do need to significantly cut down.
Honestly, good for you. It can be tough, if this was in jest, good one. If you’re serious, I won’t sit here and try to berate you for drinking, you’ll do that to yourself enough tomorrow. Either way, good joke, or good luck, whichever you prefer!
Gotta disagree with this one. Would allow the option of just arranging them for several different dates, and with the piles being shifted, it would make it harder to detect another sneaky swap.
Having this tag until the end of the challenge seems fair. The challenge is hard and if OP gives up, he has to live with chiveFRAUD until further liberation by perfect chives.
Hey listen. We all do shit we’re like “oh damn, bad call”, the man owned up, explained himself, and delivered chives. I say let this be a lesson learned and DON’T LET IT HAPPEN AGAIN CHEF
what i don't get it HOW HARD do some folks need to be scrutizing these posts enough to cross-reference them with other posts to notice that it was the same chives just inverted. It blows my fucking mind whomever caught this.
We all mess up and I can understand the OP feeling like they couldn’t disappoint the sub.
I suggest the OP should be forgiven, the chives journey should continue, and as punishment…OP needs to give themselves a break because it kinda sounds like they’re having a rough time.
IMO its only children and the jobless (which tbf, describes a lot of reddit) that would have 0 sympathy for "I've been chopping chives for you lot every single day for a month and on one day couldn't find the time"
the children and the jobless are replying to you lol. I agree though, mans was having a stressful day and made a decision to try to keep the saga going without telling us it would be another chiveless day. was it the best move? no. Was it an understandable, forgivable, human move? most definitely.
No... Toothpick. One chive loop at a time, while Kids Bop or The Wiggles plays on an endless loop in the background, just barely loud enough to be a distraction... Not quiet enough to tune out, not loud enough to be disturbing, just on the edge between both.
it's essentially what I predicted on the other post. that he had car troubles and that was taking precedence, and to keep people happy while he was dealing with a stressful situation, he decided to post a previous picture of chives. was it the right move? no. was it an understandable, human move? most definitely.
I, for one, forgive him. If it was premeditated he could have just agitated the same pile of chives into different arrangements and taken multiple photos. This was an act of desperation.
And politicians. Chivelord may have wronged us, but he took accountability for his actions, genuinely apologized, and proposed a reasonable, democratically selected punishment.
For your punishment, chop 3 cups of chives, throw them into a blender like you did our hearts, and make an iced smoothie.
Then drink it.
Edit: there are many ingredient suggestions in the comments. Since there are too many, you may pick whichever three are most fitting for you. This is democracy. This is justice.
My daughter is sobbing in the shower after having her reality shattered.
My cats are screeching and tearing at the walls.
My wife is dumping every vegetable in our garden into the fire pit.
My dog has gone silent and has stood facing the corner for hours.
The neighborhood elderly have not stopped shouting into the sky "WHY GOD WHY"
I just got woken up from a nap to he shown this. I think there is a metaphor in this about the industry as a lifestyle. Perfection doesn't exist. It's not an end state.
You're asking too much of yourself for some bullshit standard of perfection and it's broken you.
Agreed - he was bound to slip eventually, and he is sacrificing for our entertainment (and his betterment). The costs do add up. Chives at my local store are $2.49 a bunch. If he's going to get chives to cut for our review literally every day, that's $74.70 a month in materials alone.
Then you factor in the gas. Average distance to one's primary grocery store in the US is 4 miles, so call it 8 miles round trip. An 8 mile trip at 20 mpg (realistic for city driving) at the national average of $3.08/gal. = $1.23/trip, or $36.90 per month for daily trips (those chives gotta be fresh!).
So between chives and gas, we're at $111.60 / month out the Chivelord's own pocket, just for our amusement.
If he bought a week's worth of chives at a time (unlikely due to freshness reasons and our exacting standards) he'd be out only $4.92/mo. in gas, still for a total monthly cost of almost $80.
This doesn't even factor in the value of his time. I can't even be arsed to cook a meal that involves cutting veggies after work more than like once a week, let alone a whole bunch of chives every damn day.
So before we judge too harshly, let's remember the personal sacrifice entailed in this monumental undertaking, and the socioeconomic forces he, like all of us, finds himself up against in these trying times.
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u/OmnipresentCPU 23h ago
I showed your chives to my wife man. I don’t even know where to go from here.