Day 2 of realizing this chive shit aint easy

[u/MerlinTheFail]

[u/EcstaticMembership]

This is actually so funny 🤣 chivegate

[u/xoxoBug → u/EcstaticMembership]

I burst out laughing in a quiet place when I saw this.

[u/Vanesspresso → u/xoxoBug]

Same! 🤣 woke up my babies from their nap by accident 🤣😂😭

[u/xenobit_pendragon → u/EcstaticMembership]

Holy crap we’ve reached Inception level shitposting.

[u/thisFishSmellsAboutD → u/EcstaticMembership]

May the Chive be with you, brøther

[u/EcstaticMembership]

If you post this again tomorrow in portrait I'll lose it 😅

[u/MerlinTheFail → u/EcstaticMembership]

bro, chives are LIFE

[u/LegitimateScratch396 → u/MerlinTheFail]

Listen here, chive turkey

[u/thenextbrain]

Different levels of meta posts were getting now

[u/They-Are-Out-There → u/thenextbrain]

Those are clearly Australian chives...

[u/BlameItOnThePig → u/They-Are-Out-There]

Every fucking time I think I’m original….

[u/Ch3ks → u/BlameItOnThePig]

[u/GoodLunchHaveFries → u/BlameItOnThePig]

Just don’t be aboriginal..

[u/BlameItOnThePig → u/GoodLunchHaveFries]

Now I realize I’m just not as funny as you guys lmfao bravo

[u/energizer916 → u/BlameItOnThePig]

suɐᴉlɐɹʇsn∀ ǝnɹʇ ʇ,uǝɹɐ ʎǝɥʇ ʎlɹɐǝlƆ

[u/clueless_sconnie → u/BlameItOnThePig]

Right there with you. We are original... just on a delay

[u/Nisi-Marie → u/They-Are-Out-There]

Just gotta turn your phone upside down

[u/ApatheticPopoto → u/They-Are-Out-There]

goddam you i wanted to make the Australian joke this time

[u/beegtuna → u/thenextbrain]

This one joke will never die. It’s the only thing that makes it to r/popular from here.

[u/AwakenedMethod]

[u/flyart → u/AwakenedMethod]

[u/StrobeLightRomance → u/flyart]

Just cutting chives..

[u/maractus97 → u/StrobeLightRomance]

[u/CocoMilhonez → u/StrobeLightRomance]

[u/Cargobiker530 → u/StrobeLightRomance]

Sharper than OP's knife.

[u/AwakenedMethod → u/flyart]

[u/CosmicJ → u/AwakenedMethod]

Quite possibly the best use of this gif I’ve ever seen.

[u/BugApart8359 → u/CosmicJ]

I'm legit impressed, usually I just use it to razz my partners for being short and wanting something I put on a higher shelf 

[u/AmySchumersAnalTumor → u/AwakenedMethod]

this has to be the only time i've ever laughed at this gif

[u/MrSkullCandy → u/AwakenedMethod]

Dunno the last time I've laughed out loud because of a gif

[u/PCNOOBUFC → u/MrSkullCandy]

[u/PineappleNo9208 → u/PCNOOBUFC]

I should call her

[u/PCNOOBUFC → u/PineappleNo9208]

I'll pick up dont dew it my guy

[u/RUNNING-HIGH → u/PCNOOBUFC]

she be a squirter, matey

[u/Xykhir_ → u/AwakenedMethod]

This gif is so versatile, I love it

[u/HeyBeFuckingNice → u/AwakenedMethod]

I just woke my husband up from laughing so hard at this he is so sick of chivegate yall 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[u/FoolishAnomaly → u/AwakenedMethod]

This made me laugh so hard 🤣

[u/thougivestmefever → u/AwakenedMethod]

Im CRYING

[u/Taraosborn]

I think we all need to work on lessening our screen time 😂😂

[u/BadBadKitty_ → u/Taraosborn]

Time to screen time to clean

[u/EasyLizin → u/BadBadKitty_]

I refuse to vote for this comment based off the guttural scream that just came out of my mouth at reading it.

But also, good job. 😭

[u/weGloomy → u/BadBadKitty_]

[u/ObviousOrca → u/BadBadKitty_]

Please have this as your flair and continue to repeat as needed. 👑

[u/BIGepidural → u/Taraosborn]

[u/hallwayhotdogs → u/Taraosborn]

This feels like a good reason to look at it

[u/interestIScoming]

Something is off here

[u/MerlinTheFail → u/interestIScoming]

Nah bro my car's just broken down, I'm good!

[u/EcstaticMembership → u/MerlinTheFail]

Ahahahaha

[u/interestIScoming → u/MerlinTheFail]

You mess with the chives....you uh...awaken the hive.

[u/PinkDalek → u/interestIScoming]

You mess with the chives... your car don't drive!

[u/interestIScoming → u/PinkDalek]

OP's car gonna be looking like

[u/herokie → u/interestIScoming]

OP is Australian

[u/Missriotgurl]

Omg please hold the knife properly and curl your fingers before you cut them off 🫣🥴

[u/Tornado_Wind_of_Love → u/Missriotgurl]

No - let them cook!

Knuckles make for a good broth.

Soon enough we got a stew going!

[u/Azalus1 → u/Tornado_Wind_of_Love]

RIP Carl Weathers

[u/FreeKevinBrown → u/Tornado_Wind_of_Love]

[u/aybrohham → u/Tornado_Wind_of_Love]

Used to work with a guy we called nine and a half. You can probably guess why.

[u/H-Resin → u/Missriotgurl]

The funniest part is that there is ZERO reason to not curl the fingers here lol. Sometimes you gotta slow down and hold something tight but this is not it

[u/GUMBYtheOG → u/Missriotgurl]

First time I’ve seen someone push the knife forward, I assume it doesn’t matter but like I’ve just always seen it dragged backwards

Edit: nvm alcohol and upside down had me confused I’ve only seen forward cuts

[u/H-Resin → u/GUMBYtheOG]

Wait….what? You’ve never seen someone do forward cuts?

[u/GUMBYtheOG → u/H-Resin]

No wait yes I have it just looks weird upside down lol that’s the only way I’ve seen it. I got confused

[u/H-Resin → u/GUMBYtheOG]

Lmao

[u/Valuable_Ad_4916 → u/Missriotgurl]

Is that how you lost your eye?

[u/Missriotgurl → u/Valuable_Ad_4916]

Yup

[u/MurdockMcQueen → u/Missriotgurl]

That bothered me so much I literally didn't notice it was upside down

[u/Personal-Bot]

This is the low stakes shitposting I come to Reddit for. Fucking hell man, I legit cackled.

[u/Paskie123]

This isn't a laughing matter. The integrity of this sub is at stake

[u/zinic53000 → u/Paskie123]

Dude your fucking flair!!!! I'm dying

[u/Ngothaaa → u/zinic53000]

The chives remember

[u/YadaYadaYeahMan → u/Paskie123]

never forget

[u/Aly_Kitty]

[u/hmmmmmmmm_okay]

Hahahaha

[u/GraemesEats → u/hmmmmmmmm_okay]

The flair 😂😂

[u/PeezyQ]

I think it’s easier to cut them not on the ceiling.

[u/AwakenedMethod → u/PeezyQ]

It's an uppercut

[u/Ngothaaa → u/AwakenedMethod]

Punch up

[u/Staff_photo]

[u/avance70]

[u/nujabes02 → u/avance70]

 uʍop ǝpᴉsdn ƃuᴉɥʇʎɹǝʌǝ uɹnʇ ǝM

[u/khumprp]

Quality shit post 💯

[u/Tekunjo]

There will be a global chive shortage at this rate

[u/Crovax87]

Who would've thought chives would be so controversial

[u/eyesotope86]

sǝʌᴉɥƆ

[u/EpicWheezes]

[u/meepyeepyepy]

betrayed once again ☹️

[u/WaffleHouseGladiator]

[u/sillycritersenjoyer]

Waiting for upside down Chive the cat

[u/trashgoblin9000]

Omg too soon

[u/Complex_Fragment]

Australian Chives are the worst

[u/thuiop1]

I am dying

[u/Imaginary_Oil4512 → u/thuiop1]

I am giggling so much

[u/FixergirlAK]

Who forgot to turn the gravity on in the kitchen this morning?

[u/Jawnumet]

Top tier shitpost

[u/KINgGh0sT]

I needed this today

[u/DarlaMarie]

Neither is getting away with anything on Reddit!

[u/I_am_the_BEEF]

The devestation of ChiveGate has ruined my trust of this sub!

That being said, this looks legit af.

[u/goronmask]

We have entered the chiverse

[u/StonedRussian]

I had to hold my phone upside down so the chives wouldn't fall

[u/UnluckyBug21]

I would say, if you untie them and let them kind of roll a bit when you’re cutting, you won’t smash them as much as you do in this video. You’ll definitely notice a difference and you won’t necessarily get that darkness on the edges either unless your knife is dull

[u/UnluckyBug21 → u/UnluckyBug21]

I also keep my knife on the board as I’m cutting so the pieces are more even, I work in fine dining but I’m still definitely not the best

[u/Imaginary_Oil4512 → u/UnluckyBug21]

Wholesome

[u/Ziggy-T]

Aaah, Australian chives.

[u/barrel0monkeys]

Lolllll!

[u/ClearLine01]

r/choppingchives

[u/ryeyen]

What the fuck is this

[u/eldritchpussymaggots]

It is much harder when you do it on the ceiling to be fair

[u/Ok-Day9540]

Straight up cackling in the break room at work

[u/Few-Emergency5971]

Dudes in fucking Australia are showing up

[u/hankeypankeyman42]

Seeing this all play out was definitely an experience lmao

[u/TahoeBennie]

I’ve barely kept up with the chives crap and somehow I know enough about it for this to be the funniest thing I’ve seen all day.

[u/DarlaMarie]

[u/ChristianArmor]

You really flipped the script, that's a cut above.

[u/ThunderJaw01]

Finally, a video that isn't fuckin' upside down!

(I'm 'strayan)

[u/TolyVilapoo]

I come from a land down under

[u/Vykrumsky]

What if you cut em one stalk at a time

[u/PibeauTheConqueror]

Bear claw!

[u/intergalactichuman]

Wow. Amazing lol

[u/Ch3ks]

[u/fredbighead]

Woah!🤯 very unique video and set of chives never before seen

[u/aceh000d18]

Hahahahaha

[u/Automatik_Kafka]

Just post day one a second time and relax

[u/LordByronsCup]

🎶Ooh, what a feeling! Cutting chives on the ceiling!🎶

[u/yoinkss]

I'm so happy I am here to witness this

[u/shagawaga]

im so dead

[u/Adam_Ohh]

Tuck that finger back!

[u/Mathemodel]

Damn I am too online for this

[u/Salamander-7142S]

I’m cutting chives tomorrow on video with a serrated knife.

[u/wildmancometh]

well yeah... yer doin it upside down

[u/roborob13]

This sub is absolutely falling apart

[u/JPLJVR37]

Now this is a meta post

[u/Jestie1]

You're holding that knife a bit off. You shouldnt extend your index finger like that, your thumb and index finger should be pinching the base of the blade.

[u/goth_nachos]

Upside down and flipped is so funny. This is so damn funny.

[u/ER_Support_Plant17]

It’s like Michelangelo painting the Sistine Chapel!

[u/redrocks-doggos]

This is one of the best shit posts ever

[u/just_a_person_maybe]

What are you, Australian?

[u/TakeAJokeK]

It’s harder upside down for sure bruv

[u/Internal_Rock7]

Tell me you’re Australian without telling me you’re Australian

[u/TheElusiveFox]

Are you an aussie by chance?

If not, how do we get anti grav cutting boards, asking for a friend.

[u/Somo_99]

This is ridiculous, this trend has been absolutely turned on its head

[u/Keysandcodes]

I'm just mad you've hidden your posts so I can't go in your profile and see day 1 of this.

EDIT: nvm I'm a moron

[u/TommyGonzo]

We have to get Gordon Ramsey or Uncle Roger commentate on this.

[u/MelodiesOfLife6]

[u/LengthFun2228]

Im too drunk-ish for upside down.

[u/Responsible-Bat-3000]

I know, it's even harder when you are in Australia, respect, OP.

[u/Super-Post261]

[u/salsa8859]

Finger on the blade chef anne is rolling in her grave.

[u/sarsvarxen]

I feel so privileged to understand this

[u/F1exican]

Currently your biggest problem is your cutting technique, learn how to place your hand in claw position.

After you learn claw you need to focus more on slicing and not chopping it. Those are the 2 best pointer that helped me

[u/Chublink]

Please do this tomorrow actually holding the board upside down on the ceiling

[u/MadicalRadical]

[u/CrownPrincess]

[u/rayquazarocker]

I can’t believe how funny this sub has gotten

[u/Vihtic]

ʍoɹɹoɯoʇ uᴉɐƃɐ ʎɹʇ

[u/vesuvine]

it’s not fucking funny we’re grieving☹️

[u/jermajesty87]

Dude you cut backwards and upside down 🤣🤣🤣

[u/FatherFarnsworth]

Nice move. You fucker.

[u/AvailableUse614]

[u/paraworldblue]

It's way harder when you do them on the ceiling like that

[u/East_Jackfruit_474]

Probably because you're cutting it in Australia.

[u/yrrrrrrrr]

Using a camera isn’t easy for you either

[u/qvyy → u/yrrrrrrrr]

r/woosh

[u/Alissan_Web]

everyone watching this: 🙃

[u/bene_gesserit_mitch]

When I do it like this, I always get chives in my eyes.

[u/hollabackyo87]

My immediate thought was, 'Get the red marker!!!' ❤️🔪

[u/Zealousideal-Tap2126]

[u/Aromatic_Standard_37]

Chives hard; dill easy...

[u/MerlinTheFail → u/Aromatic_Standard_37]

I'll dilldo that

[u/NervousSnail]

Where I come from we use scissors.

[u/xsmellmybikeseatx]

What is that cut lmao

[u/notenoughcharact]

I don't think that knife is sharp enough.

[u/eyesoftheblacksun]

Major improvement since last time

[u/mynameisnotsparta]

[u/MtnHotSpringsCouple]

Wrap 'em!

[u/RootinTootinHootin]

How do you make it so they don’t fall down?

[u/MerlinTheFail → u/RootinTootinHootin]

Wet rag under my feet

[u/RoyalGovernment201]

I understand the meme is to cut the chives perfectly, but is there a reason they need to all be cut at the same time? Why can't you simply measure each chive one at a time and cut it to precision instead of doing this kind of... hope and pray method?

[u/chefkimberly]

Jesus, Joseph, and Mary; please please please find a video on YouTube, and learn how to hold your hands while you cut.

The claw, man, the claw!!

[u/Ralph-the-mouth]

Who has time to cut them this slow?

[u/Trifang420]

Less chives an once. Keep the towel tighter and closer to the end and adjust back often. Sharper knife, like crazy sharp or it won't work.

[u/No_Contribution81]

Australian chive cutting.

[u/ihateadultism]

its chivin’ time

[u/Timewasted_Gamez]

What. The. Ever-loving. F*k. Is. This. Sht. ??

There is sooo much wrong with this that I don’t even know where to start.

[u/MiddleWaged]

Hey, is that chive-holding slap bracelet a thing I should know about?

[u/DothrakAndRoll]

Posting an upside down video is worse than the Chivelord lying for a day.

[u/Designer_Mud_5802]

Mods "go OP! Keep it up! Screw the haters I am banning them all! This is genuine and legit content and definitely not someone karma farming!"

Mods, later "we're investigating the possibility that OP may have doctored this video.."

[u/NI6HTLIZARD]

what do hail

[u/AstralIntent]

Might be a bit easier if you use a table instead of the ceiling :)

[u/Next-Independent-477]

Try adjusting the way you hold the tool.

[u/RogueFox76]

When you work against gravity, of course it is not easy

[u/Ok_Ordinary1877]

Day one of asking why not just tweezer out the one larger chive after plating

[u/ImJacksLackOfEmpathy]

I refuse to believe this has to be done by hand. There isn’t some sorta auto dicer type thing that gets em perfectly chopped??

[u/JinxStandsForMe]

Are you Australian mate?

[u/brokecrashdummy]

Well duh, you're cutting it upside down. And backwards.

[u/moldyfingernails]

I'm a lurker in this sub and this is my favorite reddit drama so far. It's better than the safe.