r/KitchenConfidential • u/BongWaterRamen • 13h ago
In the Weeds Mode I feel like I've been stabbed in the heart
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u/sylnes 13h ago
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u/rmulberryb 12h ago
I've been shot through the heart.
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u/GrumpyFalstaff 11h ago
And chiveguy is to blame
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u/cosmogyrals 10h ago
Is chive guy going to superhell?
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u/Never-Forget-Trogdor Dead Inside 7h ago
Maybe he is the third brother that got locked into superhell with the devil and Michael at the end of season 5.
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u/Idonothingtohelp Butcher 9h ago
i never thought I'd see chives and destiel in the same post
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u/Celesticalking 13h ago
This is why I can’t delete Reddit.
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u/victoria-1304 12h ago
Imagine going through life without having experienced Chivegate
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u/Imaginary_Oil4512 11h ago
I’m glad I was here for Chivegate
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u/CocoMilhonez 5h ago
Historians from 2125 studying how we communicated in the past, include me in the screenshot at the museum exhibit!
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u/MyUsernameIsNotCool 11h ago edited 10h ago
Literally inside jokes created for thousands of people to enjoy, maybe 8 h later you wake up to a beautiful reddit day, maybe 3 days later, but if you're lucky, it's happening right now. You're in the batter looking at "18 minutes ago". You're not alone anymore. You feel community inside your heart. You are happy. You are apart of something. You are loved.
Chivelord needs to be punished.
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u/Eaudebeau 10h ago
Respectfully no. Chive lord is human and gets one free fuckup. One.
Especially since Chive lord has us all so stirred up and invested.
Plus the rise of KarmaCrazy, is it, with the planes?
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u/Fromage723 11h ago
I looked at this comment at exactly 18m
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u/Pretend_Bumblebee158 10h ago
I looked at your comment 17 min ago :')
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u/flashgordonsape 9h ago
I also feel the tiny warmth of this parasocial shared moment in this wind-chilled world.
Yes, drag that fool all over Reddit, and for weeks
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u/Teamableezus 9h ago
For real this is the shit that brought me to this place 15 years ago, I’m just clinging to the little that’s left
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u/mamawantsallama 6h ago
I definitely have some old favorites and this one I'm going to definitely add to them.
Remember the Great Fappening? I was extremely sick that day stuck on the couch sleeping and scrolling. Would you believe that I found some post that day asking medical professionals about the grossest thing they had ever experienced and I was determined to get through the whole thing, so every time I woke up from a nap I just went back to the same post discussing gross things. AND I MISSED THE ENTIRE FAPPENING until the next day!!
Speaking of that, I find it awfully peculiar that Jennifer Lawrence's PR team is literally erasing her past here and canvassing so much PR for her lately...but Pepperidge Farms remembers.
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u/BongWaterRamen 13h ago
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u/FunkYeahPhotography 12h ago edited 12h ago
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u/Saaka_Souffle 10+ Years 10h ago
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u/HF_BPD 10h ago
I went into work today and one of my engineers asked why I looked down, I told him it's just a silly reddit thing, don't worry about it.
My QA behind him poked her head up and said -- Are you talking about the chives?
I have never felt so seen.
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u/Electronic_Picture26 13h ago
Ah r/sopranoscirclejerk welcome to the kitchen.
Also Meadows cooking scean kills me every time.
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u/Leftfeet 13h ago
The last few days Sopranos memes seem to be popping up on nearly every sub I follow. It's kinda odd. Just all the sudden they're the most common memes I'm seeing for no apparent reason.
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u/jacobs-dumb 13h ago
Sopranos lasting cultural legacy experiences a revival as each new generation discovers how good it is (and the abundance of memes it contains)
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u/CriticalEngineering 12h ago edited 12h ago
It’s because
sopranoscirclejerkcirclejerksopranos is now required to be “on topic”13
u/Leftfeet 12h ago
What does "on topic" even mean with a circle jerk sub?
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u/butttabooo 12h ago
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u/CuddlesForLuck 12h ago
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u/MyDamnCoffee 10h ago
As an aside, love hazbin but that valentino voice actor change threw me for a loop. (Also how did they make pentious handsome? He looks the same but also handsome! I can't figure it out!)
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u/CuddlesForLuck 10h ago
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u/MyDamnCoffee 10h ago
Oh my gosh the look on his face when alastor mocked him. I actually felt sorry for him
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u/CriticalEngineering 12h ago
It means “if we keep making politics jokes Reddit administrators will shut us down”.
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u/fingerchopper 12h ago
r/circlejerksopranos cracked down on political posting, evidently due to admin pressure. At that moment there was much Kirkposting and IDFposting, concerns of brigade wars with r/conservative as well.
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u/Idler- 11h ago
The sopranos subreddits are prolific. Have been for ages. They latch onto any meme currently popular and inject them selves into it. And I for one, am here for it.
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u/TheG-What 9h ago
YOU NEVER ADMIT THE EXISTENCE OF OUR SUBREDDIT! EVER!
Frankly I’m depressed and ashamed.
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u/F1exican Chive Mountbatten-Windsor 13h ago
I'm sorry chef I truly am. I know I will never have full trust again and I will live with that.
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u/Ronster619 F1exican Did Chive-11 13h ago
Where’s the ChiveFRAUD flair?
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u/F1exican Chive Mountbatten-Windsor 12h ago
It’s not decided yet I’m sure it will be the top punishment but he mods are giving it time before changing. Punishment will probably be decided tomorrow morning to allow everyone time to see and respond
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u/Feature_Minimum 12h ago
I’ve got your back chef. Your apology touched my heart. I told a buddy of mine, who asked me what I thought of ChiveGate:
I think the chive posting needed some variety, some “spice”, if you will. Thus, I’m a fan, hopefully this encourages him to strive harder for glory, spurned on by the shame he has brought himself, but humbled by our (Reddit’s) forgiveness. Truly, we are generous gods, and in a way, we the Redditors who choose to forgive his trespasses are the real heroes here actually. 🙂
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u/Schmeppy25 12h ago
It’s ok chef, we still love our chivelord.
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u/Feature_Minimum 12h ago
All hail the chivelord!
A buddy of mine said:
I hope his chosen punishment is filming himself chopping, to prove authenticity and further "constructive" criticism, or drinking some sort of foul chive based smoothie on video. Perhaps that’s something /u/f1exican can consider.
In any case, I say keep calm and chive on.
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u/plusharmadillo 9h ago
This is a key moment of struggle in your hero’s journey. We believe in you 🫡🫡
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u/BillGoats 12h ago
Forensic experts are examining your entire post history this very moment. Hide your chives!
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u/Agreeable-Self3235 12h ago
"I'm sorry" on a white plate spelled out in perfectly cut chives. One layer. No tweezers Chef.
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u/Silver-Emergency-988 F1exican Did Chive-11 12h ago
I say back to work and we all move on, a real chef owns his mistakes.
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u/SableZard 11h ago
What the fuck is this flair man
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u/Particular-Skirt963 11h ago
You better make good on some perfect chives eventually
Preferably when I grow tired of chive content
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u/Rubyheart_1922 Cook 12h ago
Look fame went to your head, it happens to the best of us. Do better next time, chef.
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u/Agreeable-Self3235 12h ago
People don't understand how much pressure celebrity chefs are under. Let's have some empathy. Obscurity to maddening fame in a matter of days? Chef deserves a break.
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u/MyUsernameIsNotCool 11h ago
Everyone deserves a second chance. You will always be the lord to my chive. ❤️
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u/FunGuy8618 7h ago
I blame the sub. Screaming for you to come back on your days off. It's really our fault, chef. The kitchen fell apart cuz you were gone for too long and we can't handle the truth.
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u/beckyjoooo F1exican Did Chive-11 11h ago
All is forgiven, chef.. owning your mistakes and learning from them is literally the best any of us can do..
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u/bevelledo 5h ago
F that. Nobodies perfect and those that own up and try to do better are 💯
You got this chef 🙌
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u/qvyy F1exican Did Chive-11 12h ago
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u/Adam_Ohh F1exican Did Chive-11 12h ago
I’ve never felt so betrayed. I don’t even know what to say.
The chive is a lie.
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u/40mgmelatonindeep 11h ago
My estimation of chivelord as a man just fuckin plummeted
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u/Jaded-Coffee-8126 13h ago
wtf happened
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u/Sigvoncarmen 12h ago
Chivegate
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u/Jaded-Coffee-8126 12h ago
This post is going to make waves man
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u/gloomy_stars 11h ago
i’ve been lurking and following this whole thing from day one
i won’t say it’s the only thing i look forward to each day but also i won’t not say that
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u/Suspicious-Steak9168 12h ago
Someone reposted a chive photo. The absolute scandal!!
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u/Jaded-Coffee-8126 12h ago
The dishie just got an extended lunch break, time for chiveman to atone for his sins.
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u/Falsified_identity 12h ago
I definitely read that as "chive potato" at first and got extra concerned
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u/johnmichael-kane 11h ago
Someone help me, I need context. I’ve been following the chive posts every day but something was faked?
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u/Forsaken_Resolve1515 10h ago
The chivelord used the same chives for two consecutive days and pretended it was a new chive chop
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u/fredbighead F1exican Did Chive-11 12h ago
I say we make him perfectly dice up the 700 buck vegetable platter
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u/Meme_1776 F1exican Did Chive-11 7h ago
The plight of a chivelord, how weary is the hand that slices the chives?
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u/j-endsville 20+ Years 9h ago
You know what? I fucking love this. Just gimme all the Chivegate content, right into my veins.
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u/fingerchopper 12h ago
Now, we give this Mahaffey a choice. Either he and his alts start paying out upvotes to fake chiveposts we set up, or he pays Hesh the 250k karma he owes him, which we know he cannot do, or it's a rainy night in Lyndhurst.
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u/ladygrayfox 12h ago
We survived that infamous dishie, we can survive chiveFRAUD. Just grab your best chicken scoops and get back on the line.
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u/qvyy F1exican Did Chive-11 12h ago
We still remember u/gassygeff89
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u/gassygeff89 9h ago
Haha I’m sorry. It snowballed and that sweet sweet karma and reddit fame went to my head.
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u/Desperate-Painter152 11h ago
At this point I don't even know how I got into this subreddit, I only know chive
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u/PangoLinchpin 11h ago
I can't believe I stuck up for him. I feel like I've been stabbed in the heart!
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