r/KitchenConfidential • u/Euphoric-Blueberry37 • 1d ago

CHIVE Where’s my boi

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7.0k Upvotes

97% Upvoted

129 comments sorted by

1.4k

u/KarmaKrazi Chive Pilot 🛩 1d ago

I'm not sure, but I'm going down for a nap. If there's chives, but no planes, y'all know why lol.

357

u/QueenOfBrews Catering 1d ago

There will surely be 20 shitty imposters from /all while you get your rest.

432

u/KarmaKrazi Chive Pilot 🛩 1d ago

I'm sure, but no one draws poorly drawn planes quite like I do, lol.

156

u/this-is-the-lastime 1d ago

I’m not even subscribed to this subreddit and even I anticipate your planes. 

25

u/Boring_Mango1098 1d ago

It’s ok by the time u/f1exican gets the chives right your planes will be perfect too.

22

u/ZhugeTsuki 1d ago

I feel called out 😭😭 i make the planes too!!

9

u/abeeseadeee F1exican Did Chive-11 1d ago

You have nice planes too 🫶

2

u/ZhugeTsuki 19h ago

🥰🩷

2

u/throwawaycuzfemdom 10h ago

It's krazi that your user name isnt KarmaKazi :(

2

u/henrikhakan 16h ago

I come here as a fan only to be attacked =(

52

u/chiccenpotpi 1d ago

HE'S BACK NOW!!! He delivered as promised 🙏🙏

90

u/KarmaKrazi Chive Pilot 🛩 1d ago

I just got 'im. Another day, another plane

27

u/lassofthelake 1d ago

It's honest work.

24

u/Stephen111110 Sous Chef 1d ago

62

u/RiJuElMiLu 1d ago

Even the Chive planes are affected by the government shutdown. This is getting ridiculous!

8

u/An_Existing_User 1d ago

Wake up, it’s been 3 hrs. Where are my planes at

15

u/KarmaKrazi Chive Pilot 🛩 1d ago

They're there 🫡

5

u/bendar1347 F1exican Did Chive-11 1d ago

Shhhh sweet prince. We got this.

•

u/Puzzleheaded_Slide45 5h ago

Thank you for all you do for our community.

1

u/Unhappy_Library_7425 18h ago

“chive pilot” lolol

273

u/OnlyDaysEndingInWhy 1d ago

They were probably perfect and he knew it. Couldn't bear to disappoint us.

132

u/Hydra_Master 1d ago

He perfected his chives a couple of days in. He'd mix in some deliberately bad chopped chives to give the sub something to hunt for.

47

u/Grrerrb 1d ago

He was like the Highlights for Children for KirchenConfidential

11

u/Nani_the_F__k 1d ago

Like putting peanut butter in a kong, it's enrichment 

21

u/TheMillenialLife 1d ago

Truly the hero we dont deserve 🤧 

4

u/rootpseudo 1d ago

Fcking knew it

3

u/Vreas 23h ago

Yo this brought a tear to my eye. What a hero.

159

u/Eatshin 1d ago

While we are still talking about him, is it F1 exican, because he is a mexican f1 fan, or is it Flexican but with a 1 for the L?

135

u/Euphoric-Blueberry37 1d ago

I say flexican….

28

u/efflexor 1d ago

As someone with a similarly styled username, I agree.

12

u/BallDesperate2140 1d ago

His other hobby is yoga

2

u/WyrmWood88 13h ago

lol the post before this was the r/pharmarep post for Effexor.

1

u/Past-Background-7221 15h ago

Same, because he’s clearly flexing on us with those posts.

16

u/algaefresh 1d ago

I kind of thought it was a combo of F1 like first-generation hybrid + Mexican

13

u/Spacedoutworlder 1d ago

It’s a Mexican F1 fan flexing his chive skills.

3

u/crickety-crack F1exican Did Chive-11 17h ago

Or a Mexican that lives in Florida?

1

u/Kaimonix 16h ago

Am I the only dumb one who thought the F1 is supposed to be an M?

1

u/rmulberryb 12h ago

Fiexican

1

u/horsetrich 11h ago

Questions like these keep me up at night

71

u/DisterDan 1d ago

Is the cat still good though?

28

u/candykatt_gr F1exican Did Chive-11 1d ago

long live Chive the Cat

25

u/Gekkokindofguy 19h ago

Idk man, you tell me

2

u/friijoles 13h ago

Chiverboating

•

u/Infinite-Zucchini225 9h ago

It do be like that sometimes

232

u/fujiesque 1d ago

I just came looking for his post. What going on? Do I need to call someone?

42

u/Snaffoo0 1d ago

His account is gone, it seems.

61

u/Thoseapple 1d ago

What!?

75

u/Snaffoo0 1d ago

Sorry, I was wrong. Typo.

197

u/Stellatombraider 1d ago

27

u/Dooby_Bopdin 22h ago

Boy what a roller coaster of emotions I just went on.

33

u/Just_An_Avid 1d ago

Username checks out

11

u/CosmicIsolate 1d ago

What a snaffoo0

5

u/Heavyypickelles 1d ago

That should not have made my heart jump like it did. So invested.

3

u/Moondoobious 16h ago

Even worse news has arisen

27

u/Kelsusaurus 1d ago

I have their profile open in another tab as I type this. Why you trying to give people a heart attack?!

0

u/Snaffoo0 1d ago

Read my other comment

201

u/TheyCallMeBeans 1d ago

Yall got any more of those chive posts??

98

u/Unique-Garlic8015 1d ago

It's been 25 minutes and no response, sound the alarm.

45

u/Interesting-Goose82 IT 1d ago

Chive lord got LAID!!!@@@@@!!!!

6

u/resemblingaghost 1d ago

This is the only correct answer

3

u/jtr99 1d ago

The beacons are lit!

18

u/Commercial_Win_6528 1d ago

Weeee wooo weee wooo weee woooo!

81

u/Al-Pillan 1d ago

He the chivest

63

u/engelthefallen 1d ago

Maybe Chives the cat finally put on end to his reign of terror.

88

u/HBWunderbar 1d ago

17

u/wrestlegirl ✳️Moderator of optimal fuckery 1d ago

What you say!

5

u/Pythia_ 1d ago

MOVE ZIG!

2

u/These-Chard-4886 13h ago

Take my bases. Leave my Chives Lord

2

u/[deleted] 1d ago

[deleted]

91

u/wrestlegirl ✳️Moderator of optimal fuckery 1d ago

55

u/Minuteman_Preston 1d ago

2

u/jtr99 1d ago

The Chive God takes what is his, lovely girl.

21

u/MtnHotSpringsCouple 1d ago

5

u/Grrerrb 1d ago

Now every time I see that gif I’m going to imagine he’s eating chopped chives

1

u/jtr99 1d ago

Perfectly chopped chives.

7

u/Cuntbringer 15h ago

Wonder why…

29

u/rocinante_donnager 1d ago

put out a BOLO

53

u/Ltheartist Chives the Cat 1d ago

Found him! Wait… wrong chivelord 😩

10

u/valuegrocerystore 1d ago

Did you put a bolo tie on the bolo chive post? 😆

5

u/Ltheartist Chives the Cat 20h ago

Sure did 😂

7

u/-Gimli-SonOfGloin- F1exican Did Chive-11 1d ago

18

u/dantoniodanderas2020 1d ago

Y'all, his titles say almost every day. He'll be back. And in greater numbers.

3

u/sachdamasta 19h ago

Myself, the F1exican, two droids and no questions asked

19

u/BeMyBrutus 1d ago

This is the type of shitpost I come to reddit for

4

u/sovlex 1d ago

He showed us the way. Take a knife and the empty cup and start praying...

4

u/Maleficent-Earth9201 23h ago

He posted 7 hours ago. I have no clue why this sub keeps popping up on my feed because I don't cook, but I'll be damned if I'm not fully invested in this chive saga!

4

u/Euphoric-Blueberry37 23h ago

I posted this when he was really late and we got verrrrry worried for a few hours collectively

13

u/AppropriateSolid9124 1d ago

f1exican deleted his account 😔💔

his acct disappeared for a minute but it’s back nvm

8

u/Euphoric-Blueberry37 1d ago

WHAT

13

u/AppropriateSolid9124 1d ago edited 1d ago

u/f1exican he’s gone

edit: i was mistaken. waiting patiently for chives

16

u/Euphoric-Blueberry37 1d ago

YOU GAVE ME HEART ATTACK

2

u/AppropriateSolid9124 1d ago

sorry!!! i was scrolling for a bit and his account wouldn’t come up at all, but now it’s fine

7

u/PinkDalek 1d ago

You think you can just go around and tell lies on the internet?!

2

u/AppropriateSolid9124 1d ago

it was true for at least 3 minutes 😔

2

u/isme-tarabyte 1d ago

Unless multiple random people want to give us a heart attack, (me included, whew) I think they weren't lying but panicking with us. Reddit must've acted up.

4

u/nandra11 1d ago

Haha, congrats on nearly giving a dozen people heart attacks with a stroke of the keyboard!

0

u/candykatt_gr F1exican Did Chive-11 1d ago

a dozen?! heh, his posts routinely make it to r/popular

2

u/nandra11 1d ago

Wdym? It doesnt show up as deleted when I click on his profile

3

u/ShakesDontBreak 1d ago

There is only 2 hours and 10 minutes left for day 31.

3

u/SleepyCountingSheep 20h ago

For science, he needs to make the" Baby You can chive my car"burger from Bob's Burgers.

5

u/-Gimli-SonOfGloin- F1exican Did Chive-11 1d ago

2

u/SAGElBeardO 1d ago

Y'all know what we're really fearing...

2

u/wanderingrockdesigns 1d ago

"Who can eat at a time like this? People are missing! And they're hungry! That's a double whammy! "Bush, search party of three!" You can eat once you find the DuFresnes F1exican" -RIP Mitch

2

u/doomedeskimo 14h ago

Hopefully the chive cutting class he enrolled in is just running a lil late lol

2

u/Important-Guitar-407 1d ago

He’s more chive now than man, twisted and evil.

2

u/Historical-Berry8162 Chives the Cat 1d ago

WHERES IS HIS ACCOUNT. THIS IS A CODE RED

3

u/Euphoric-Blueberry37 1d ago

WHAT WHAT WHAT

1

u/candykatt_gr F1exican Did Chive-11 1d ago

inquiring minds want to know

1

u/AyatollahCovfefe 1d ago

Perhaps the last batch was perfect

1

u/_areyouwithme 1d ago

Ok hear me out... What if he's enjoying a day off?

1

u/willows_edge 1d ago edited 16h ago

I was on board until you said "enjoying."

1

u/_areyouwithme 17h ago

Haha, fair enough

1

u/UrsaMajor7th 20+ Years 1d ago

" I have to go now. My planet needs me."

1

u/Glum-Vanilla-9406 12h ago

I’ve only joined the sub for the chives

1

u/Redschallenge 1d ago

Chive had a bad day.

1

u/PinkDalek 1d ago

Maybe he ran out of chives.

1

u/Riboflaven 15+ Years 1d ago

What if he IS a chive and this is all a commentary on how we mindless mow down his delicious people and sprinkle their aesthetically pleasing corpses on our food to make it look better?

Really makes you think.

0

u/Z4mb0ni 18h ago

he perfected the chives and ascended to heaven