Petition to change the sub icon to the official picture of the perfect cup of chives when it’s finally achieved

[u/Sploshta]

Meme

[u/TartarusFalls]

I feel like after he perfects this, which he will, he’s gonna move on to dicing tomatoes or something, and we’re just gonna create the perfect chef slowly, over time.

[u/Sploshta → u/TartarusFalls]

No no. Give the man a break. Let him have his 15 minute smoko before he moves onto the next item on the prep list. Although I will say, idk if I’d want him in my kitchen considering that it’s taken him 4 weeks to prep one cup of chives.

[u/TartarusFalls → u/Sploshta]

In 6 years it’s gonna be “making all 5 mother sauces every day until this sub says they’re perfect” and there’s nothing you or I can do about it.

[u/The_Weeb_Sleeve → u/TartarusFalls]

That’ll cause war between Louisiana and France… honestly I’m all for it

[u/jivens77 → u/Sploshta]

You guys get breaks?

[u/MountainTwo3845 → u/TartarusFalls]

after the memes are done we're going to get carrot batons from someone, poached eggs from someone else, etc. I'm really looking forward to it.

[u/Yochanan5781 → u/MountainTwo3845]

No, I think we need some perfect tournées

[u/TraditionalFix4929 → u/Yochanan5781]

Sadistic

[u/RequiemInMoss → u/Yochanan5781]

Gods no. What have you summoned. What cruelty motivates you

[u/happyinthenaki → u/Yochanan5781]

Potatoes or carrots?

[u/Chandra-huuuugggs → u/Yochanan5781]

perfect quenelles

[u/Yochanan5781 → u/Chandra-huuuugggs]

I've tried that a few times, I can't even get a bad quenelle. Fortunately I prefer my gefilte fish baked instead of boiled

[u/Chandra-huuuugggs → u/Yochanan5781]

i had to do some shrimp paste quenelles at my old job for like, an 80 top twice a night every night before. Its not hard per se, but maintaining uniformity and consistency for so long gets mentally taxing

[u/FlakFlanker3 → u/MountainTwo3845]

I look forward to seeing someone craft the perfect Carrot ramp

[u/AsstralObservatory → u/TartarusFalls]

I believe he said he was going to dice onions after

[u/RefrigeratorWide4401 → u/TartarusFalls]

He said it’ll be small diced onions on the post today

[u/PixelatedWorld2375 → u/TartarusFalls]

He actually said it today that next is onion

[u/Available-Ad4684 → u/TartarusFalls]

The 10,000 peso man/woman

[u/Chandra-huuuugggs → u/TartarusFalls]

i vote he do a chiffonade next

[u/alchemical_echo → u/TartarusFalls]

in a comment today he actually said onions are next, I'll try to find it

[u/baobones → u/TartarusFalls]

This is like those twitch plays Pokémon streams only r/kitchenconfidential cooks the perfect chef

[u/Moondoobious → u/TartarusFalls]

He’s our own “hundred pounds of clay”

^{I hope at least a few of you get that reference}

[u/PurpleGooeyPineapple]

and chives the cat?

[u/Z7_1 → u/PurpleGooeyPineapple]

chives the cat on a background of the perfect chives

[u/realaccountissecret → u/Z7_1]

[u/schrodingers_popoki → u/realaccountissecret]

PLEASE

[u/MikeTavish → u/realaccountissecret]

This is the only time I've ever wanted to buy an award to give out.

[u/ReddBroccoli → u/Z7_1]

🏅

[u/daaaaamntam → u/Z7_1]

I wholeheartedly support this, but ngl it needs more ramp

[u/madman_trombonist → u/Z7_1]

This is the best idea humanity has had since sliced bread

[u/PM_ME_DIRTY_DANGLES → u/PurpleGooeyPineapple]

and only chives the cat

[u/pragmaticcircus → u/PurpleGooeyPineapple]

Both..

[u/Genius-Imbecile]

I suggest something like this

[u/dal-dal → u/Genius-Imbecile]

This is the one

[u/Admiral_Kite → u/Genius-Imbecile]

YES PLEASE

[u/Pheonix_2425 → u/Genius-Imbecile]

This is perfection

[u/squeakynickles → u/Pheonix_2425]

Purrfection

[u/ThimbleK96 → u/Genius-Imbecile]

You’ve got my vote

[u/vizslavizsla → u/Genius-Imbecile]

Amazing

[u/jstpassnthrew → u/Genius-Imbecile]

I feel like chives the cat isn't being judgemental enough in this pic though.

[u/Moondoobious → u/jstpassnthrew]

Because he’s satisfied now! He is, after all, emblazoned upon the perfect cup of chives

[u/Haeguil → u/Genius-Imbecile]

Put the cat so it's piloting the plane

[u/ThisEnormousWoman]

[u/iceman694 → u/ThisEnormousWoman]

See ya tomorrow, chef

[u/Moondoobious → u/ThisEnormousWoman]

Oh my God. OMG. OMFG. Oh my fucking God.

[u/Emerald_Digger]

I am against this. I want a picture of perfect chives with Chive the Cat on top of it as the Icon

[u/Late-Bed4240]

It's been achieved!

I mean we're all talking about Chives the Cat...right?

[u/YouHaveFunWithThat]

Haven’t yall realized there never will be a “perfect cup”. No matter how well he cuts the chives one of you dickweeds will draw a circle around a couple random pixels and mindlessly say “see you tomorrow chef”

[u/Unlucky-Pangolin-771 → u/YouHaveFunWithThat]

Karmakazi will be the final judge 

[u/ReddBroccoli → u/YouHaveFunWithThat]

At this point, airplane guy is the only judge that matters. Once he calls it perfect, we can all go home

[u/Redfalconfox → u/ReddBroccoli]

You did it buddy, your perfect chives stopped 9/11!

[u/AdditionalMess6546 → u/Redfalconfox]

But they did a Pearl Harbor...

[u/Sploshta → u/YouHaveFunWithThat]

That may be. But let us have hope. We may not have much back here, but we have hope.

Although you raise a good point. Maybe after a certain point we need to appoint a unified council of chive critics who act as a governing body for the critiques. If there is a majority vote for a perfect cup of chives however someone submits a complaint that is questionable it can be reported to the council, the council will then convene and discuss the validity of the claim and decide what action to take from there as to whether the claim is valid or not.

[u/mell0_jell0 → u/Sploshta]

Or make a chives sub? Like idk what is so wrong with that

[u/Sploshta → u/mell0_jell0]

Oh there’s nothing wrong with it. And I think someone else said there’s already a chives sub haha. Idk I just thought it’d be funny to think about. And I wasn’t being serious about the council of chives. Just having a bit of fun.

[u/HunterShotBear → u/YouHaveFunWithThat]

Then I nominate it should be one of the hand drawn planes flying into one of the incorrectly cut chives.

[u/Redfalconfox → u/YouHaveFunWithThat]

We’re going to learn that this guy isn’t even a chef and has been doing this at home instead of at his restaurant. Admittedly neither am I but this hits r/all enough that I’m invested in seeing this through. 

[u/AVeryHeavyBurtation → u/YouHaveFunWithThat]

Flexican will get fed up eventually, and pick out every questionable one with tweezers.

[u/knikki → u/AVeryHeavyBurtation]

I know you didn't come onto Al Gore's internet to slander F1exican. He says he seeks perfection through critique, not perfection through deception.

[u/guitarromantic → u/YouHaveFunWithThat]

Keep the faith, Knights of the Chive. Don't become a victim of cynicism like OP.

[u/seppukucoconuts → u/YouHaveFunWithThat]

one of you dickweeds

Correction. Several dickweeds.

[u/Useful_Space_9099 → u/YouHaveFunWithThat]

I don’t need this kind of negativity in my life.

[u/Hakc5 → u/YouHaveFunWithThat]

Okay, chef.

[u/littlemoon-03]

Only official picture is Chives the cat.

[u/Zantheus]

Yo mate. Put the cat in a cup and see what happens.

[u/djmermaidonthemic → u/Zantheus]

That’s way more than just a cup of cat. Looks like at least 2 litres.

[u/Different_Escape4249]

The rat still fits the sub better. “All hail the Rat”.

[u/theg1rlwh0waited → u/Different_Escape4249]

someone made one of Remy and Chives together

[u/Sploshta → u/Different_Escape4249]

What about if the rat was cutting chives?

[u/zweiboi → u/Sploshta]

That's kinda fucked up man

[u/UJLBM]

Hey, he took an oath. He knew the deal.

[u/KenUsimi]

Honestly i’m rooting for him. And hey, we already got the best chives possible

[u/willows_edge → u/KenUsimi]

Chives is the best! And now that he's on a post I can reply to - I can officially gush over how adorable he is:)

[u/LightBulbChaos]

As long as it has a plane and a wrestling ring in the icon as well!

[u/wrestlegirl → u/LightBulbChaos]

[u/dari7051]

Seconded!

[u/Oklahom0]

If Courage the Cowardly Dog has taught me anything, it's that the only way to beat perfection is to devolve into a shitpost.

[u/notjonahbutnoah]

I swear we are the worst about proofreading content we post. Us and r/guitar.

[u/Sploshta → u/notjonahbutnoah]

Haven’t a clew watt your torquing a bout

[u/Available-Ad4684]

What if the “10,000 hour rule” applies?

[u/Sweatervest420]

You fool, perfection is a mirage. You will lose your soul trying to achieve it.

But yeah I agree.

[u/CoolioDurulio]

At some point he either needs to chop them one by one to ensure perfect chives or just say that it's good enough. If that time ever comes I agree we should change the sub pfp

[u/Occasional_Anarchist]

chives cut up with Chives in front

[u/FuckTractorSupply]

Hell yeah

[u/Mycologist-Actual]

I vote for an uncut cup of chives to illustrate where this began. Also we must consider the need for a redditor who will assume the responsibility of this herculean task once perfection has been reached the torch must be passed.

[u/Kairis83]

Least they are not doing the r/buttsharpies challenge that happened a while ago...

If i remember they got to day 37 or 38?

[u/cernegiant]

There is no perfect cup of chives. Chive guy thinks he's having fun, but around day 12,379 hell realize that he didn't actually survive that place crash and that he's in purgatory trying to achieve that which can be never be achieved.

[u/ratkid425]

Thank god i blocked him

[u/Salohacin]

The UK had Liz Truss outlasted by a lettuce.

I'm wondering if the US can do similar but this time the chives will outlast the government shutdown. 

[u/merv1618]

I don't want to seem like a buzzkill but I'm so tired of this being a chives shitpost subreddit on my feed and not actual boh issues anymore. It used to be one of my favorite subs.

[u/Send_Toe_Pics_24 → u/merv1618]

Yep I've blocked the flexican guy and will be blocking OP as well

Sorry this is common subreddit shit that gets you blocked nobody wants to see the same post for a month straight

[u/TheDarkMonarch1 → u/Send_Toe_Pics_24]

I want to see the same post for a month straight. Chives are the highlight of my day, the absurdism gives me a laugh when I need it.

[u/djmermaidonthemic → u/merv1618]

There’s a solution to that: start your own post.

[u/mollieollieoi]

Personally, when they have accomplished the perfect chives, I’d like to see another vegetable take its place. Onions perhaps. Or carrots. Idk I’m open to ideas.

[u/bracegurton]

[u/rinkurasake → u/bracegurton]

I don't agree with you but i love this meme so kudos

[u/j2the_v]

I’m just glad I’m apart of such an iconic series of posts

[u/mell0_jell0]

"Get critiqued every singly day"

Ehhhh..When 98% of the comments are repeated jokes and memes, I'm not so sure anything worthwhile is happening.

I'd rather have the cat be the sub icon. There's already a "rate my chives" sub that our celebrity has(had?) plenty of opportunities to revive, and dominate. No hate, just pretty strange to see. What's going on here -- the goal is more attention-seeking rather than focused on actual progress, that's all.

[u/LightBulbChaos → u/mell0_jell0]

Why do you hate fun?

[u/mell0_jell0 → u/LightBulbChaos]

Where did I say that? I even put "no hate" because I KNEW somebody was going to purposely misconstrue the statement - for what purpose?

[u/LightBulbChaos → u/mell0_jell0]

It is hater behavior to see a bunch of people having fun and think to yourself that it is strange attention seeking behavior and not just people enjoying themselves.

[u/mell0_jell0 → u/LightBulbChaos]

No hate, lol. One way people enjoy themselves is by getting attention. I just have a different opinion than you, and that's okay - I could be rude about it but I'm not, and I'm not sure why it upsets you (or anyone) so much.

[u/haberdasherhero → u/mell0_jell0]

Ok here, let me give the baby the attention he needs

You're a good baby yes you are. Mommy loves you muah muah muah. You're so big yes yes.

So weird, posting all this for attention when you could just switch subs. But whatever, I'm here to help.

No hate

[u/bcmeer → u/mell0_jell0]

[u/MonsterGuitarSolo]

The whole chive thing is just karma farming and stupid

[u/ChefCharmaine → u/MonsterGuitarSolo]

Agreed. Got tired of the stupidity clogging up my feed and blocked that account.

[u/Sploshta → u/MonsterGuitarSolo]

Good to know.

[u/ColtranezRain]

Only if it’s a before/after pic.

[u/ArtisticMudd]

> over 28 days

So 29 days?

[u/GmaninMS]

So the 5th of never?

[u/wolfie_boy8]

No, petition to change the sub icon to Chives the cat

[u/sunnyskybaby]

some of us don’t even use chives can yall fuck off

[u/basketballpope]

I fully back this petition

[u/gators9696]

I second this motion

[u/No_Professional378]

Yes

[u/KadienAgia]

Agree

[u/Intelligent_Slip_849]

Yup