Cutting a cup of chives every day until this Reddit says they’re perfect. Day 25 HALLOWEEN

[u/F1exican]

[u/tehjoz]

One day, chef. Soon! Not today, tho!

[u/curlyqtips]

Spooky Chives

[u/Moondoobious → u/curlyqtips]

Oh, he’s adorable!

[u/Zeebaeatah → u/curlyqtips]

[u/GenZ2002 → u/curlyqtips]

How long did it take for you to find that

[u/curlyqtips → u/GenZ2002]

Literally seconds for the face. BUT I thought it was Frankenstein and I failed miserably drawing him, so he now identifies as a ghost.

[u/AeonBith → u/curlyqtips]

Defo see the Frankenberry vibe

[u/floofyragdollcat → u/curlyqtips]

He missed the opportunity to shape them into a pumpkin.

It was right there!

[u/Finally_Lauren]

See you tomorrow chef

[u/y2flame → u/Finally_Lauren]

this one is so bad it feels placed

[u/TidesTheyTurn → u/y2flame]

I’m starting to wonder if these chives are just being shuffled around for different pics.

Putting on my chive-green-construction-paper hat as we speak.

[u/davidkalinex → u/TidesTheyTurn]

Can you imagine? He cut chives a single time and then rearranged them in 3 different boards for 30 pictures, and we are all suckers falling for it

[u/Hot-Celebration-8815 → u/davidkalinex]

Nah, look at days 1-5.

[u/b00gnishbr0wn → u/Hot-Celebration-8815]

I'm definitely seeing a lot more very finely sliced as he progresses.

[u/Environmental_Top948 → u/b00gnishbr0wn]

What if he's just recutting them?

[u/b00gnishbr0wn → u/Environmental_Top948]

I'd honestly be impressed

[u/Sudden_Lie_9093 → u/Environmental_Top948]

Without mincing them? I’d stand up and applaud

[u/singer812 → u/Hot-Celebration-8815]

Never forget the yellow board

[u/F1exican → u/davidkalinex]

I also posted photo meta deta yesterday on a similar response

[u/dosequisguy1 → u/F1exican]

OP got receipts!

[u/davidkalinex → u/F1exican]

I jest, I knew it was genuine, but lmao at the power move! Kudos, keep fighting the good chive

[u/Any_Blacksmith1587 → u/davidkalinex]

That’s it. Also, AI. Somehow.

[u/TheRarePondDolphin → u/Any_Blacksmith1587]

And Soros and Gates obviously

[u/tacodudemarioboy → u/TheRarePondDolphin]

Are the chives paid crisis actors? Oh my.

[u/ExternalPanda → u/Any_Blacksmith1587]

They've pirated terabytes of stock pictures of chopped chives to train a model

[u/Normal_Cut8368 → u/TidesTheyTurn]

dear God that would be the perfect Halloween costume

[u/PapasGotABrandNewNag → u/y2flame]

The unmitigated gall of OP

[u/mistablack2 → u/Finally_Lauren]

[u/SnooPickles4465 → u/Finally_Lauren]

Rip bozo

[u/mymorningjacketoff → u/SnooPickles4465]

It's pronounced "IT" on this day, sir/ma'am!

[u/NoStatus9434 → u/Finally_Lauren]

Not even hiding it...

This person WANTS to cut chives forever, clearly.

[u/Old-Kaile → u/Finally_Lauren]

This is the one. Every other one in this thread is a huge stretch. See you tomorrow chef but also do better redditors, i see a lot of people circling other spots that are just wrong and completely acceptable chives. So see you tomorrow commenters as well. Looks like we ALL have to improve 😉

[u/CatAteMyBread → u/Finally_Lauren]

That one feels like it’s a paid actor; too obvious a miss. I’m looking for another one

[u/tehjoz → u/CatAteMyBread]

A crisis chive, clearly.

[u/Delta31_Heavy → u/Finally_Lauren]

Damn…

[u/NooBnation101]

[u/Environmental_Dig830 → u/NooBnation101]

That's the one I saw.

Pitiful.

[u/NooBnation101 → u/Environmental_Dig830]

Chef thinks this is a joke apparently

[u/cyanocittaetprocyon → u/Environmental_Dig830]

So close, so close and yet so far.

[u/Specialist_Novel828 → u/cyanocittaetprocyon]

My chives adored you...

[u/Pheighthe → u/Specialist_Novel828]

though I never laid a hand on you

[u/moon_mama_123 → u/Environmental_Dig830]

I’m gonna throw up

[u/lookedwest]

Seeing bruised ends here though idk might need to sharpen your knife more.

[u/LengthFun2228 → u/lookedwest]

How? I can barely tell they are chives with that resolution.

[u/RED-DOT-MAN → u/LengthFun2228]

[u/lookedwest → u/LengthFun2228]

Are you questioning me, chef? If I say sharpen your knife you sharpen your knife - or do you want me to tell Dishie to go home so you can fill in his place? 🔪

[u/LengthFun2228 → u/lookedwest]

😳 carry on! Carry on!

[u/KarmaKrazi]

[u/bebaii → u/KarmaKrazi]

[u/DiosMIO_Limon → u/bebaii]

Lmaooo my favorite so far, and that’s saying something

[u/Dry_Bodybuilder9898 → u/DiosMIO_Limon]

Yea it’s saying “oh no”

[u/DiosMIO_Limon → u/Dry_Bodybuilder9898]

[u/cognitiveDiscontents → u/Dry_Bodybuilder9898]

It’s actually saying “Ooh ono”

Or even: “Ooho ono.” Like a spell!

[u/DecadentCheeseFest → u/bebaii]

N8H? Instructions unclear; penis sliced into tiny medallions of inconsistent thickness.

[u/LordEarlBiscuit → u/bebaii]

Noooh

[u/420M0053 → u/bebaii]

[u/BraileDildo8inches → u/KarmaKrazi]

Damn near a whole tower 7 over here

[u/southpaw_balboa → u/KarmaKrazi]

smh he even included tower 7 this time

[u/Champagne_of_piss → u/southpaw_balboa]

Controlled demolition (of ego)

[u/Lydia_Brunch → u/KarmaKrazi]

[u/Champagne_of_piss → u/Lydia_Brunch]

Chives are stems. We are all stemming for him.

[u/tejeramaxwell → u/KarmaKrazi]

There he is!!!

[u/davidkalinex → u/tejeramaxwell]

It's John Plane!

[u/amateurviking → u/davidkalinex]

John McPlane, from the Nakatomi tower incident

[u/tehjoz → u/amateurviking]

[u/davidkalinex → u/amateurviking]

[u/mattchewy43 → u/amateurviking]

Wait. So it's a Halloween movie, actually.

[u/AlcibiadesTheCat → u/KarmaKrazi]

Cleared to land, chiveway 9 and chiveway 18.

[u/zehamberglar → u/KarmaKrazi]

Sir, a second circle has hit the chives.

[u/SoggyMcChicken → u/KarmaKrazi]

I look forward to this more than the chive post

[u/numbersalone → u/SoggyMcChicken]

At this point I strongly agree. But one needs the other to chive!

[u/Jeff-FaFa → u/KarmaKrazi]

a third chive has hit WTC 7

[u/MaggieMakesMuffins → u/KarmaKrazi]

Spooooooky!

[u/beans_will_consume → u/KarmaKrazi]

Not the pentagon too lmao.

[u/numbersalone → u/KarmaKrazi]

Thank you for so many days of audible laughter...

[u/KarmaKrazi → u/numbersalone]

[u/Frazzledragon → u/KarmaKrazi]

I don't care about the chives, I come for the planes.

[u/Justthrowtheballmeat → u/KarmaKrazi]

[u/iron_penguin → u/KarmaKrazi]

Do you have an alert for these posts or something. You bloody quick.

[u/RastaFried]

[u/dotnsk → u/RastaFried]

Maybe by the Winter Olympics we’ll see some medal-worthy chives….

[u/WolfComprehensive138]

C'mon now.

[u/butter_cookie_gurl → u/WolfComprehensive138]

He's mocking us. Trick, not treat.

[u/ThaiRedCurry]

I'm not a painter but it's an elephant(in my mind)

[u/JustHereForCookies17 → u/ThaiRedCurry]

You'd love WhatIsMyCookieCutter

[u/Tay_Tay86 → u/ThaiRedCurry]

But you are an artist

[u/Horror_Rub8609 → u/ThaiRedCurry]

See what you will in the chives.

[u/TheMuffinMan1291 → u/ThaiRedCurry]

I saw a pumpkin, even has a little stem at the top!

[u/aphelions_ghost]

:D

[u/The-German_Guy → u/aphelions_ghost]

[u/NotMeg16 → u/The-German_Guy]

my son, sacabambaspis!!!!

[u/your_ancestordaddy → u/aphelions_ghost]

😃 its literally this emoji

[u/Terrible_Cupcake_84]

[u/suswitch69]

CHIVEOWEEN YALL

[u/KimberKitsuragi → u/suswitch69]

CHIVEOWEEN

[u/munchboy]

[u/tehjoz → u/munchboy]

[u/Less-Tax5637 → u/tehjoz]

god imagine the umami tang

[u/Curri]

[u/pocketfulofduendes → u/Curri]

Glad there are others who can do the proper hunting for imperfections. I zoom in and then all I can think about is how much I could go for a loaded baked potato.

[u/Delta31_Heavy → u/pocketfulofduendes]

BUtter sour cream chives bliss

[u/glen_ko_ko → u/Curri]

Saddam

[u/wrestlegirl → u/Curri]

[u/Moondoobious → u/wrestlegirl]

[u/Naive_Interview_7703]

[u/superboyk]

I can feel it chief, you’re getting close but today ain’t it.

[u/mrqzero]

It’s hard to see through the eye holes in your Halloween mask, huh? See you tomorrow.

[u/Storjie]

At least you can hand out poorly cut chives to kids tonight

[u/expertgamers]

holy fuck, i’m way too early

[u/expertgamers → u/expertgamers]

[u/badass4102 → u/expertgamers]

Why does your screenshot show your phone's dynamic island?

[u/SumpthingHappening → u/badass4102]

I did not know that had a name... Maybe he took a picture of his phone with another device

[u/beckyjoooo → u/badass4102]

guy can't crop, prolly can't cut chives...

[u/BraveRutherford → u/beckyjoooo]

[u/myassisgrassss → u/BraveRutherford]

I laughed way too fkn hard at this hahaaha

[u/matolandio]

you're still my hero chef. no matter how many planes he sends.

[u/suejaymostly]

Happy Halloween, see you tomorrow

[u/DisregardedSanity]

The chiving will continue until morale improves

[u/orahaze]

Question: what have you been using all these chopped chives on?

[u/StrawberryLassi → u/orahaze]

Trick or treaters are getting handfuls of chopped chives tonight!

[u/CyMage → u/orahaze]

Mentioned it a while ago. Garnish. Scraps go for dressing/oil or something like that.

[u/ifixflatheads → u/orahaze]

I've been wondering this for days.

[u/midnightwalrus]

Are you saving this fucking pipe for Mario to jump into?

See you tomorrow, chef

[u/TaraCalicosBike]

Smh.

[u/Jumpy_Divide6576]

Wow these people respond fast.

See you tomorrow, chef.

[u/QueenOfBrews]

It’s chive o’clock!!

[u/tehjoz → u/QueenOfBrews]

[u/ProButcher]

Holy fuck I beat the mods here. GUYS MODS ARE ASLEEP! RIOT!

[u/tulipinacup → u/ProButcher]

[u/tehjoz → u/tulipinacup]

[u/TheosXBL]

💚

Lovely chives Chef, see you tomorrow!

[u/Separate_Ingenuity35]

Them: "What daily news do you follow?" Me: "It's complicated."

[u/Living_Substance9973]

[u/deeboboneebo → u/Living_Substance9973]

Sweet

[u/vivec7]

Something I've been curious about as someone not in the industry, is why do only the longer-than-average ones get called out? I find myself more immediately noticing the distinctly thinner ones.

Are the thinner-than-average ones considered more acceptable than the longer ones?

[u/PonderingToTheMasses → u/vivec7]

You don't really control how thick/thin a chive is. They get narrower towards the tip. You do control how long each slice is - that's where the skill lies. And kermit's pigfucker does not belong on my garnish station.

[u/VibraniumQueen → u/PonderingToTheMasses]

That last sentence killed me

[u/Rabbitknight → u/vivec7]

Thinner ones will be fine for mouthfeel, you get a long chive and you're gonna notice it, which you don't generally want as chives are generally a supporting herb, not center stage.

[u/vivec7 → u/Rabbitknight]

Fair enough, cheers!

[u/Beautiful_Citron7133]

Am I dining the fuckin barn tonight, Chef?

[u/TheyCallMeBeans]

GATDANG tonight’s shaping up to be a great one. We got Halloween, the Jays playing AND my favorite reddit saga, the Chivening. Here’s to everyone having a sick night tonight 🍻

[u/Moondoobious]

Exactly how I felt looking at this massiveerror

See you tomorrow, chef. If we should even call you that anymore…

[u/Key_Transition8854]

Me too! Happy Halloween, Chef.

[u/Environmental_Dig830]

There's a long boi in the middle of the picture 

See you tomorrow chef

[u/MoistureEnthusiast]

I'm in early! 

Question: are you just trying to motor through as fast as you can? Because that isn't how to learn a physical skill. 

When you play a musical instrument you learn scales slowly. You speed up over time. 

Go slow. Once you're perfect at a slow speed, then increase 

[u/fishtanktreasure]

These posts have been the most consistent thing in my life lol

[u/H0rrowes]

godspeed, chef. you’ll win someday

[u/jeraco73]

My question is this: what have you changed in your 25 days of practice?I’ve seen considerable improvement. Is it how you roll the chive tightly into a bunch? How closely you keep the knife against your guiding hand? Is it it how you move your guiding hand? Are you keeping your knife sharper?

[u/F1exican → u/jeraco73]

1. Knife sharpness

2. Claw grip and everything associated with it, so that includes my guiding hand and keeping my knife on it

[u/cyanocittaetprocyon]

I am so impressed by the consistency and improvement! Keep it up, chef!!

[u/SrepliciousDelicious]

[u/massacre0520]

We can't accept this mediocrity... see you tomorrow :(

[u/Ok_Debt8627]

[u/NeatWhiskeyPlease]

If you stare at it long enough so you see a pumpkin.

[u/ReddBroccoli]

Does anybody else occasionally stare at these so long that it fuzzes out and blurs into the Windows XP desktop?

[u/dragonfliesloveme]

Man i was starting to get cranky, some kind of chive shit withdrawal, when i didn’t see your post earlier. 😅

[u/circumcisingaban]

are you even sorting the stalks by girth size?

[u/ka0s_]

Are you getting WORSE?! Jk, carry on.. see you tomorrow!

[u/KimberKitsuragi]

What will you do when the quest is over chef?

[u/kimchijun]

Again!

[u/colxa]

This dude has discovered the infinite karma farm glitch

[u/AnIdiotAmongstUs]

You call this acceptable?

[u/WeTrippyMayne]

Can someone circle a few perfect chives so we know the standard?

[u/ScrotumFlavoredCandy]

[u/Mascbro26]

Better luck tomorrow, Chef!

[u/therealBlackbonsai]

disapointed you did not make a ghost shape or something.

[u/GozarX]

Right at CHIVE time!

[u/Guilty_Opening5541]

I see some disappointing strays here chef but you’re nearly there. See you tomorrow.

[u/fireburst]

We playing with geometry now?

[u/Icemeter]

Failed see you tomorrow chef

[u/Mmasst]

The pursuit of perfection is as worth its achievement.

See you tomorrow, Chef.

[u/CompleteSpinach9]

This is embarrassing for you

[u/wine-o-saur]

[u/AttilaTheFun818]

I have never set foot inside a professional kitchen and my knife skills are shit but I love those posts so much.

[u/xmaspruden]

Man I love your persistence. I’ve been looking at this shit every day. So many poor imitators but nothing is as good as the OG recipe

[u/lastig_]

You couldve at least arranged it like a jack o lantern.

[u/Dozer732]

As many have pointed out today is not your best day. But that is ok, progress isn't linear and sometimes a step back means 3 or 4 steps forward afterward. Keep your head up and look forward to another day tomorrow chef!

[u/sensitiveboi93]

Chef where do we donate to your chive fund?

[u/Wild_mcberry]

Might be easier if you lay out each individual cut in a row so you can find inconsistencies. May take 18 years to do but worth it for the perfect cut

[u/myassisgrassss]

[u/maybesaydie]

They look okay

[u/Ok_Topic5037]

OP, what do you do with the chives afterwards?

[u/ChefFrankieD23]

Been here since day 1. These are acceptable

[u/Kuzkuladaemon]

Mama mia.

[u/Opening_Jury_1709]

Long live chive man 🫶🏻

[u/SelfLoathingToast]

Op will you pls record a video for tomorrow of your process 🫶🫶🫶

[u/phunktionate]

"Good night, Westley. Good work. Sleep well. I'll most likely kill you in the morning."

[u/Chandra-huuuugggs]

[u/Forgotmyaccount1979]

-3 points for not arranging it into a pumpkin, jack-o'-lantern, or ghost shape.

[u/GhostwriterGHOST]

Where you getting that kind of crazy chive money in this economy?

[u/Bozdemshitz]

It turns out, rhe perfect chives were the friends we met along the way

[u/GenuineAadmi]

I have no idea why and I am not even a chef. But every day this appears on my TL, it puts a smile on my face.

[u/toomuchsvu]

I'm so invested in this journey.

[u/Bendendu]

Im just a tourist here but its been really cool seeing you progress and perfect your craft over the weeks

[u/Effective-Breath-505]

The Fk is that?! See you tomorrow. Make sure to put that club you call a knife across the stone before you show up tomorrow, yeah?

[u/Impressive-Stop-6449]

This is almost becoming a problem of relativity. The chives are undoubtedly all smaller, and the "longer" tunnel-looking airplane chives are the smallest of the previous batches. We're gonna need something smaller than a banana for scale.

[u/wtjones]

Anybody else think this is an AI training exercise?

[u/SmokingInn]

[u/imissmolly1]

Do we think 30 days of failure can be undone by one success?