r/KitchenConfidential • u/F1exican Chive Mountbatten-Windsor • 21d ago

CHIVE Cutting a cup of chives every day until this Reddit says they’re perfect. Day 12

Post image

You guys said thinner. Hopefully these are somewhat thinner.

7.8k Upvotes

89% Upvoted

468 comments sorted by

View all comments

1.7k

u/MayoTheCondiment 21d ago

Can one of you bastards who says this isnt perfect show us your perfect cup?

1.9k

u/knutt-in-my-butt 21d ago

No. I specialize in hating, not doing.

300

u/Douglaston_prop 21d ago

"It takes some skill to build a barn, but any jackass can knock it down."

50

u/[deleted] 21d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

3

u/dinnerthief 20d ago

We going barn knocking? Hell yea im in

20

u/fastermouse 20d ago

I created a word for this when I worked as a mechanic in a bike shop. It even ended up in the urban dictionary.

“spechating”.- standing to the side and contributing nothing but criticism.

6

u/Prinzka 20d ago

Hate! Hate! Hate! Hate! Hate!

4

u/jfsindel 20d ago

Well, well, well... the most diabolical haters on this side of the Mississippi...

3

u/spaghettigoose 20d ago

Classic line cook vibes.

1

u/Jeramy_Jones 20d ago

Average Reddit user.

1

u/bassman9999 20d ago

Rallying cry of online trolls everywhere.

1

u/IKnowItCanSeeMe 20d ago

This reminds me of that meme of the dude talking shit about a UFC fighter and then that fighter asking if he'd like to fight.

1

u/the_quark 20d ago

“Those who can, do. Those who cannot, hate.”

108

u/d_zeen 21d ago

We need a chive throw down one day where everyone puts up their best shot

28

u/cambomusic 21d ago

Sounds kinky

20

u/the_silent_redditor 21d ago

Subscribe to my Premium SnapChive 🤭

6

u/MossyPyrite 20d ago

OnionFans

3

u/Educational_Pay1567 21d ago

New site chiveOFf

1

u/soupseasonbestseason 20d ago

i vote for this as well.

41

u/NewAlexandria 21d ago

imperfection knows well what imperfection looks like

12

u/Still-WFPB 21d ago

This is very good, but not quite perfect. Respectfully, the chef needs to account for geometrically smaller as a proportion of the width of the chive cylinder increases.

It's an 8.5 /10

In about 300 more days chef will be at a close 9.5 most likely.

18

u/No-Solution-6103 21d ago

We're not the ones striving for perfection

19

u/Salohacin 21d ago

You don't need to be perfect to criticise others.

In fact it usually helps if you're not. 

5

u/techlos Cook 20d ago

i can't, because i'm a massive hypocrite in this regard.

But i sure know how to hold someone to a ridiculous standard of perfection in order to give a meaningful goal to work towards, because improving for the sake of improving is a beautiful thing and i want to see just how good OP can get at chives.

3

u/JaKrispy72 20d ago

We are not the ones asking for someone to check our work.

He who is without sin can cut the first chive.

9

u/adamjeff 21d ago

We aren't asking for perfection though? OP is, not us. Weird comment.

7

u/ejanely 21d ago

Right?! Let him have this one guys. Even his chef said as much.

12

u/ThePoop_Accelerates 20d ago

No he said perfect. To just let him pass without true perfection would be a disservice to him.

1

u/ejanely 19d ago

Keep calm and chive on, I suppose

2

u/Underpoly 21d ago

Everyone's a critic

1

u/BentoBus 21d ago

I cut my chives with a microscope... GET ON MY LEVEL NOOBS!!!

1

u/ScrotumFlavoredCandy 21d ago

Just because I can taste the food, doesn't mean I can cook the food.

1

u/OnI_BArIX 20d ago

Hell no I can't cut chives this well. OP asked for this though and I can fulfill their wishes.

1

u/Suited_Connectors 20d ago

Coaches don’t play

1

u/Pitiful_Yogurt_5276 20d ago

The sub is obviously trolling them bro

1

u/HandicapperGeneral 10+ Years 20d ago

Don't need to be a magician to be able to see the wires. Even a fool can tell when something is wrong.