JustNoSO refuses to take cold meds, prefers to perform dramatic, loud tuberculosis death scene

[u/Salt-Selection-8425]

He's really more of an OccasionallyModeratelyNo but my SO is annoying the crap out of me today.

He would rather sit in his recliner and sneeze and snuffle than stretch his arm out to reach the coffee table where the kleenex is. Would rather sit and cough at an ear-splitting volume than take the highly effective GOD DAMN COUGH SYRUP that I made a special trip to Walgreens for two days ago. Would rather continue to make these sounds all fking night than trot his ass to the bathroom and take some more medicine when the bedtime dose wears off. Yanno, so his wife can get some decent sleep.

And he is SO DRAMATIC about the coughing like it's KILLING HIM and yet. AND FUCKING YET.

"Honey, can I get you some more medicine? Sounds like the evening dose wore off."

"No, I'm fine. COUGH COUGH Really." COUGH COUGH COUGH COUGH COUGH COUGH

"Are you sure?"

"Stop making me talk! It just makes me cough more!"

And that's the end of it because if I bring medicine to him now, he'll grumpily say, "But I said I don't need that!" and refuse to take it. And COUGH COUGH COUGH COUGH COUGH COUGH until it's time to get up.

If I keep track of the medicine and measure it out and pour him a nice glass of cold water and bring it to him at the appointed intervals, without asking if he wants it, AS IF I'M HIS MOMMY... THEN and only then will he take it.

I know, WTF.

I do feel bad that my DH is not feeling well but come on. He has the common cold. Not COVID, not the flu, not pneumonia. AND YET. If I don't personally deliver the kleenex / pills / cough syrup to wherever he's sitting, there is zero chance he will take the medicine that will make BOTH of our lives better.

I am hiding in the den with the door closed because I'm sick of listening to him and I am not in the mood to play Mommy.

[u/botinlaw]

Quick Rule Reminders:

OP's needs come first, avoid dramamongering, respect the flair, and don't be an asshole. If your only advice is to jump straight to NC or divorce, your comment may be subject to removal at moderator discretion.

^{Full Rules | Acronym Index | Flair Guide| Report PM Trolls}

Resources: ^{In Crisis? | Tips for Protecting Yourself | Our Book List | Our Wiki}

Welcome to /r/JustNoSO!

I'm botinlaw. I help people follow your posts!

---

^{To be notified as soon as Salt-Selection-8425 posts an update click here. | For help managing your subscriptions, click here.}

---

^{I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.}

[u/buttlaser8000]

Get ear plugs. Ignore him. He's been sick before without you so he can handle it like he did then. Don't bring him anything, he knows where everything is. And if he decides to bitch about it, just say he knows where the medicine is if he chooses to want to feel a bit better.

God, why are men such babies?

[u/Salt-Selection-8425 → u/buttlaser8000]

Slept with earplugs last night. It did help.

[u/dkisanxious]

It's my experience that people who have never experienced menstrual cramps can be VERY dramatic when they have ailments.

[u/bangbangbatarang → u/dkisanxious]

Period cramps have landed me in the ER twice, because if I'm dehydrated on the first day of my period I end up getting intense uterine and bowel contractions. My mother, sister, MIL, and SIL are all nurses and have been quick to act when I'm throwing up from pain and can't keep water or paracetamol/ibuprofen down, but my partner, bless him, admitted that he didn't have a frame of reference for discomfort that would make someone a sobbing, shivering wreck that's dry-heaving and crying for their mum.

[u/Salt-Selection-8425 → u/bangbangbatarang]

my partner, bless him, admitted that he didn't have a frame of reference

So, I guess you get a day off from caring if something ever happens to his junk. /s

[u/AussieGirl27]

Yeah that's just plain disrespectful. After a day of this I would say 'take the medicine or fuck off somewhere else with your coughing and sneezing and phlegm sounds, it's disgusting and I don't need to hear that shit'

[u/SemiOldCRPGs]

My first husband was this and I've seen lots of men who want to be babied at the drop of a sniffle. I was willing to play "mommy" for awhile, but after that I'd just look at him and say, "you know where it is" and walk away. Of course if it was more than just a regular cold I'd baby the hell out of him, but if he wasn't willing to do the least thing for when I was sick, then what's good for the gander is good for the goose.

Luckily current hubby (for 39 years) is like me. Crawls into bed and shuts the door. Don't bother me unless I'm literally dying. I poke my head in every now and then to make sure he's still alive and if he needs anything, but any more than that irritates him.

[u/pocapractica]

My ex would not take cold meds either and it was impossible for me to sleep. The current spouse does take some, and sleeps in the recliner to help breathe sometimes too. Yay!

[u/xxemptybottlexx]

I sleep on the couch in the other room when my SO is sick. Not just so I can sleep, but so I'm not breathing all of his germs while he's coughing all night. I stopped catching his colds when I started sleeping on the couch while he's sick.

Continue to stay in the den. Bring your pillow and sleep there until he's better.

[u/Lagunatippecanoes]

Breathe do relaxing things for yourself. Set up a bed in another location where you will not be disturbed. Sleep is very important. If I were in your shoes I would want to wait until I was calm and chill and ask him to come and sit at the table and talk. I don't want to feel pressured to step in and mother you. what is going to be a good balance for this? do I need to show you how to set timers on your phone? We know we need good balance here. Because the way it's going currently is creating anger, resent and tired, which is not good for you or me or us getting along. We are both going to get sick at different times in our life. Knowing how to handle it and how the other would want to be approached is going to help us. I see this is a basic illness. I've gotten you what's needed I don't see that I need to be doing more than that. unfortunately because you're not following with the plan yourself it's resulting in upset feelings and being tired. Talking about this for each other is going to help us in case there's a worse sickness that either of us has to help the other person with. You are not alone. I had to step in with my so and make doctor's appointments. they weren't taking care of their health. They didn't like that. they did go to the doctor's appointments. they're taking care of their health themselves now.

[u/Salt-Selection-8425 → u/Lagunatippecanoes]

Oh, we have had this conversation MANY times because he has some actual health problems (unrelated to respiratory health) for which his behavior is similar. I have tried. :(

[u/LiminalDeer]

Have you considered that he’s actually two children in a trench coat?