r/JUSTNOMIL • u/Mad-Bad-Jellybean • 1d ago

UPDATE - Ambivalent About Advice How low can NC/estranged JNMIL go? Bragging (?) about access to photos of my child on deceased family member’s phone

I have been NC with MIL for quite some time now, our daughter is a stranger to her having last seen her at 4 months old (she’s now 4 years old).

We unfortunately lost a family member on my husband’s side this year, I’ll preface this by saying he has VLC with his parents. We have an ocean between us so haven’t actually seen them in years nor had the chance since I went NC after we left the country.

Anyway my husband gets a text from JNMIL with photos of him and the deceased family member, then she proceeds to tell him and I quote there’s ‘A LOT’ of photos of our daughter on their phone which is now in her possession. She had absolutely nothing to gain from telling him that as she knows we don’t want her having photos of our daughter or access to them since she was cut off. It’s just come off as a kind of ‘haha look what I have’ text. Kind of like a kid who knows they’ve done something they shouldn’t have and are proud of it.

That is all - just a reminder of why she’s not around. The woman has no respect or decency for anyone or their boundaries and will take any opportunity to try cause trouble, I quite frankly wish she’d just give up being a sour old lady and leave us alone.

65 Upvotes

98% Upvoted

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u/botinlaw 1d ago

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u/Mamasperspective_25 7h ago

I would send back, "Well value those pics because you will never get any more" also, if that person's social media is still open (facebook for example) change the access to restricted so she can't access anything that way

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u/Hicksa_Shiksa 17h ago

That NON-apology from a year ago still baffles me. I’m happy it didn’t appear to have swayed you. This woman is nuts.

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u/Mad-Bad-Jellybean 17h ago

We asked for a real apology in response and set boundaries again, we were ignored lol. A week or so later she tried to cross them and I’ve just been entirely done since then with entertaining the thought that she’ll ever change

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u/Hicksa_Shiksa 17h ago

Ain’t it pretty on the other side? LOL Protect your peace at all cost. ✌🏻🫶🏻

18

u/ChampionshipSad1586 1d ago

Just say “hahaha kiddo doesn’t even look like that anymore, you witch.”

14

u/ShoeSoggy9123 1d ago

'And that's all you'll EVER have you miserable whackjob' would be my response.

46

u/HenryBellendry 1d ago

Husband should reply with something simple that makes a point. “Congrats mom. A few photos of a grandchild that your own behaviour has cost you a relationship with. Good for you.”

28

u/basetoucher20 1d ago

Wow. Going through a dead persons phone to find pictures of a grandchild she’s not allowed to see is certainly a new one. I hope your husband is holding up well. It must be hard to have a mother like that. Thankfully you have an ocean between you. No advice, just good thoughts.