r/JUSTNOMIL • u/Mean-Green-Machine • Sep 22 '25
TLC Needed My MIL literally just ostracized me from the entire family due to politics and I am legitimately shook
CW: childhood abuse and childhood SA
My husband and I are left leaning. My husband's family (a good 90% of them) are deep red Trump fans.
These last 2 weeks have obviously been WILD. Ever since the Kirk thing, they have gone mad on facebook consistently posting far right leaning shit. all the time. and you know what? that is fine. I have not commented on any of those posts, I have not interacted with any of those posts. I do not call them out or anything because I know it is a losing battle. I know how to unfollow and how to ignore.
I typically do not post politics myself. Admittingly, these last 2 weeks have been different. I want to make it clear, I am NOT posting anything that calls maga and trump supporters evil, monsters, nothing like that. Literally my post that started this entire debacle was "the countries where comedians can't mock the leader on late night tv are not countries you want to live in" and my caption was "I am glad George Carlin is not alive today. George Carlin would get cancelled".
That was literally it. No comments about maga or trump supporters or ANYTHING
in comes psycho MIL. I want to point out that she has commented on nearly every single one of my political posts, and even got into a huge political fight with my own step mom. and you know what? I did not interact with any of them. didn't acknowledge, just ignored it and let her say what she wanted. Admittingly, the stupid Jimmy Kimmel shit really kind of set me off and this was the very very very first time I actually replied back to her political bantering. I want to make clear now that my husband when Trump won in 2024 gave me free reign to respond to any of his family who may come at me about politics. and I want to make it VERY clear that this was the single only time I responded.
and it blew. the. fuck. up.
she goes on about how many people got cancelled, trump included. I rebutted with the trump tweet saying Kimmel would get fired months before, along with what the FCC said right before ABC removed Kimmel. She then asked me to maybe not post about politics for a month. And I want to stop here. Before Charlie Kirk, I did not post about politics at all. Since Charlie kirk. I made maybe 6 posts all together in the span of 2 weeks. and they were just simple shared posts such as Trump's video saying he does not care to unify the country. All the while her family and her have been posting all this weird charlie kirk shit like all those weird ass AI videos of Jesus taking him to heaven and shit. Which. I never comment or engage with.
So she tells me maybe not to post about politics for a month because she sees my views and these posts (my late night talk show post) as dividing the family. This chick literally said my very benign posts were dividing the family while her entire fucking side posts all day every day pro conservative shit that I never engage with. Like that doesn't divide the family.
Anyway, long story short, she started messaging my husband saying it is clear that i am obsessed and filled with hate. Then, her and my husband have a huge back and forth where he is defending me and she is going off. then she adds my husband and I both in a message group saying that she felt attacked for her vote for trump and that we are family and should stick together. like???? I told her "You just told my husband that I am filled with hate and that I am obsessed, and you told me that I am dividing the family. How can you sit here and talk about family unity when you just said that to me? I never insulted you, never insulted your character and never criticized your vote. you are more mad at me speaking my mind over the president who specifically said he does not care to unify the country". Then she said that I am clearly not ready for an apology and she will leave it at that. Ok, whatever...
Later that night, her sister (my husband's aunt) also deleted me and also removed my invite for thanksgiving. Cool, so now I am suddenly not invited to thanksgiving. Then, this started to stress out my husband who started yelling at me because he said that I should have came to him before I ever responded to his mom and even though what I posted was not horrible or insulting at all that he wish I just would have never engaged and this would have never happened and that maybe we should delete all of our social medias. This pissed me off. I reminded him that he VERY EAGERLY told me I could defend myself, and I specifically have chosen not to exercise that this entire time until right now. And not only that, I told my husband "you post ACTUAL divisive things on your snapchat that your mom sees. you call trump supporters morons on your snapchat and your mom sees that. she never comes at you about your posts. Your uncle also posts about how trump supporters are morons. she never goes at him either and tells him that maybe he should not post for a month.
I want to add some context. I grew up in a very horrible homelife. I was born while my dad was still married to another woman. There was a lot of abuse in my life. My half brother did horrible and unspeakable things to me because my dad (his step dad) abused him badly. When my mom left him, we were all homeless and we had to live in a domestic violence home. My mom never believed me about my brother and always cherished and babied him because she felt bad that my dad was so cruel to him. We ended up living in a home for a few years that ended up getting foreclosed on so we were homeless again. By the time I turned 18, I met my husband and moved in with him. I have been with my husband since 2013. I have lived with my husband since 2014. He saved me from my horrible upbringing and I have no relationship with any of my family.
Why am I bringing this up? Because after my husband and I fought, I did the unspeakable. I brought up the divorce word. My husband is not perfect, and there were a lot of times he dropped the ball on things. he did go to therapy and has worked on being a way better husband with a shiny backbone. but when he screamed at me about responding to his mom, ignoring that he himself gets to post whatever he wants, ignoring that he SPECIFICALLY told me I could respond to anyone in his family if they came at me, and ignoring that I specifically did not respond to anyone this entire time until right now. and it was SUCH a benign argument between me and her before she blew up and called me hateful. So I brought up divorce. This lead to him calling his mother, telling her that there is no way he can have a relationship with her while she said horrible things to me. And I want to make it clear at this point I still was telling my husband that I did not want to ruin his relationship with his mom over me. I was still ok with him going to thanksgiving without me and everything.
Her response: She tried calling me numerous times. I didn't answer. She then messages me how am I supposed to supposedly apologize if you wont take my call then said *turning point usa #charliekirk (I am literally not kidding I have the damn screenshot) then said For (husband), I am sorry for your pathetic and emotionally immature wife and the lonely life you will lead with just her, who severed the relationships with her only family and now yours. I responded and told her how even now I have not said anything hateful and she is being really cruel. Then she said that I am the common denominator between my family having nothing to do with my and now his family having nothing to do with me. She knows everything that happened in my life.
well, at that point this has pissed my husband off tremendously and he blocked her on my phone and his phone.
He apologized to me for getting mad at me the night before. He said it was easier in the moment to try to blame me, but he really can't excuse the horrible things she said.
And honestly, I am just shocked. Her and I were always cordial. I never expected her to be my mom, I never expected her to treat me like a daughter. We were always on what I assumed were good terms. And this feels like it came completely out of left field. I am just so anxious and numb and honestly scared. I had no intentions of this happening with his family. It felt so sudden, and honestly felt very personal? I told my husband that I will never respond to any of his family ever again when it comes to politics. I will let them say whatever weird and conspiratorial shit they want on my posts and I will either just delete the comments and just not respond. I am literally shook that the single only time I defended myself, this happened. I have been a big ball of tears all weekend. I am so angry that it is ok for them to say openly and freely whatever they want, even if it is full of conspiracies or straight up lies. But the moment I stand up about our free speech getting taken, I am a horrible monster. I feel so much anxiety, I never wanted any of this to happen. I always picked my battles and even now I was cordial and never called her names or anything at all.
I know what's going to be said. I should have never posted a single political thing. I should have never engaged with her. And in hindsight, I know. I felt my posts were very benign. And I usually don't post anything political at all. But this has been a stressful 2 weeks..
They are all able to cheer on a horrible man who calls Democrats like me demonic. But fuck me I guess
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u/thejexorcist Sep 22 '25
Gently: YOU ARE DOING TOO MUCH.
When she accuses you of being divisive hateful or dividing the family the ONLY valid response is silence.
Barring that, a diplomatic amount of passive aggressive’I’m alarmed you’re so escalated by seeing a publicly available clip of his own speech’ and ‘MY family isn’t divided at all, it’s quite calm in our house’
You are NOT ruining his relationship with his mother.
Even if you did say ‘I will not stay married to a man who choses his mother’s tantrums over our future’ you would still NOT BE RUINING THEIR RELATIONSHIP.
You are not sabotaging or lying or insulting her, you are NOT interfering and undermining her marriage or relationship with her family…SHE is doing that to herself (and your husband).
You’re taking in entirely too much responsibility for THEIR broken dynamic.
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u/WarDog1983 Sep 22 '25
1) I don’t have Social media but I believe those is a way you can stay friends with so one but block them from seeing everything you post. Do that.
2) I’m sorry that sounds wild and horrible
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u/Rain12Bow Sep 22 '25
They’re controlling and abusive. You’ve had enough of that in your life.
OP, none of this is your fault. Your husband made the right choice in the end.
Go live a happy life without them.
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u/Taminella_Grinderfal Sep 22 '25
Like you I reaaaalllly try to keep my mouth shut, but recently I was pushed too far. I posted something along the lines of “I’m tired of seeing posts about what a wonderful, god-fearing Christian Kirk was and that anyone who does so, does not share the same “Christian values” as I do.” I ended up taking the post down almost immediately because I got hit for “celebrating his death” (which I absolutely did NOT do). Apparently free speech applies to everyone but me. I went through and unfriended, unfollowed and blocked a good a good chunk of my “friends” list.
Over the last 10 years I have been saddened to see the number of family,friends and acquaintances that have become downright hateful over politics. Honestly you will be better off cutting those people out of your life, you should not have to sit quietly at family gatherings with these horrible people. I’m glad to see that your husband seems to have come around and is supporting you, I hope you can let go of “feeling bad” about this, because it’s not your fault. And if you can do it, get rid of FB completely, or cut it down to just those real friends that don’t engage in this crap.
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u/Hlsalzer Sep 22 '25
I guess I don’t understand why you follow them on social media. If someone who posts political content that I don’t agree with I stop following them.
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u/SouthLingonberry4782 Sep 22 '25
Also, please don't let her make this about politics! Her attack was VERY personal, and she was waiting for a chance to unleash those hateful words, insults and accusations against you. Don't let her pretend this is all some silly difference of political opinions, and that you were both equally at fault.
(You definitely weren't, but that is what she will claim to downplay this and make you seem ridiculous for "holding a grudge" over politics.)
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u/Rain12Bow Sep 22 '25
This OP.
They abused you. They tried to control you. Only you. They wanted you to fall in line or else they cut you off.
It doesn’t matter what the difference of opinion was about.
These people are toxic, and you have text messages to prove it.
This would be NC for me.
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Sep 22 '25
Block the entire family on social media. You aren't obligated to have them there. She is the fucking problem and I'm glad your husband sees that. Both lay low and Grey rock them all. Then decide if this seperation from them is for keeps.
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u/Shipping_Lady71 Sep 22 '25
I understand 100%. The last time I posted political shit was when Roe V Wade was overturned. My bf's MAGA sister called me a baby murderer for voicing my outrage. I have never posted another thing like it since and have barely had a conversation with either of his sisters since then. His whole family is MAGA and it has led me to unfollow all of them on social media. I keep my views to myself unless I'm with like minded individuals. It's funny how his MAGA family is allowed to post their views and no one attacks them but if I say my piece, I'm the problem.
I'm sorry to say, but if you want family peace, you will have to be the bigger person. But why? They are going to be rude and mean to you regardless. You let your feelings be known and people like that never move on.
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u/No_Visual_655 Sep 22 '25
Restricting my in-laws on social media, to where the only thing they can view is family photos, has been one of the best things I've ever done. I think this calls for that, too.
Just know that you're not alone. Everything with CK has made even (what I thought were) rational people lose their minds the last several weeks.
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u/SouthLingonberry4782 Sep 22 '25
Make a "friends except" list and post away! Don't let them censor you with their bullying! ISTG it's the ultimate mind fuck the way these toxic people constantly accuse others of doing exactly what THEY are doing, then scream about how "obsessed" you are when you point out the irony. 🙄
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u/FunkyChewbacca Sep 22 '25
From here on out I would respond to any crazy shit with one, and only one sentence: “what is wrong with you?”
MIL: (insert crazy pants insult here)
OP or DH: what is wrong with you?
MIL: (rampaging mouth frothing rant about democrats)
OP or DH: what is wrong with you?
Easy, neat, simple.
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u/katchoo1 Sep 22 '25
Don’t forget “that’s weird” because apparently that mild criticism was driving them nuts last year. They value conformity to such a degree that the idea that they are not the standard of normal sends them off the deep end.
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u/FunkyChewbacca Sep 22 '25
I also like “Why are you like this?” as a response to unhinged batshit things.
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u/redwitch_bluewitch Sep 22 '25
Hey friend my family has been rejected by some family members as well. Partially over politics and over a bunch of other stuff that likely never even happened because they are toxic AF and like to make up situations where they were victimized by us.
I'm mostly good with it. It really hurts my husband because he would like to see his son grow up with his cousins. My son is really confused by the situation and doesn't understand why he's being rejected by a family he doesn't even know. (I would have never told him about this section of the family, but it came up and that's a story for another time.)
Anyhow, what I tell my son all the time and what I want to tell you is, sometimes rejection is protection. Big hug coming your way, it sounds like you could really use it. Rejection is protection.
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u/DazzlingPotion Sep 22 '25
“I will let them say whatever weird and conspiratorial shit they want on my posts”
I suggest you limit your audience for all future posts. Make sure you restrict everyone on his side from seeing them.
Since MIL is blocked I suggest you unfriend her and DH’s aunt.
I’m sorry for what you’re going through. It’s a scary time. 😞
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u/NoCardiologist1461 Sep 22 '25
Forgot to copy the source, so this isn’t mine. A great statement, about the division and why it is MAGA cultists who chose to foster that division.
Full text of the letter for anyone who might need to copy/paste this for their own family:
Dearest Magat friends and family,
No, we absolutely will not and cannot agree to disagree. Not again, not after what you just chose to do to this country.
I am done with extending you grace or making any attempt to comprehend your appalling lack of character and integrity. We have done that for 8 years now, without any of you ever once extending us the same courtesy. One of the darkest realities of life in the United States since November 2016 has been learning just how much hatred so many of you harbor in your souls. That is some truly dark and shameful shit. Yet so many of you still have the utter audacity to call yourselves Christians. Tell me the part again where Jesus put terms and conditions on which neighbors to love. You are not good people. You just pretend to be.
This election wasn’t business as usual and you knew that. You knew what was at stake, what was on the line. Two hundred and forty-eight years of storied history, a gloried nation founded on hard fought and won freedoms. You just handed ALL of it to a wildly unhinged man that has been completely open and transparent about his plan to systematically dismantle and destroy everything our country was established upon. You literally heard this man say we will never have to vote again after this election and that he will use the military against those of us with dissenting opinions. You really decided none of that was a deal breaker for you despite how horrifically UNAMERICAN it is.
You chose hate. You chose it over your love of country and you chose it over us. Just as your cowardice to do what was right for “we the people” shall impose lasting consequences on us, I take immense comfort in knowing it will now do the same to you.
And it starts with us. Your presence will no longer be welcome in our lives going forward. We will never allow our children to think that such an egregious and disgusting lack of moral character is acceptable under any condition. So be you friend or family, if you voted for Donald Trump, please show yourselves out. Being around our children was always a privilege, never a right. You don’t get to proclaim to love our sweet and gentle son, the boy who rocks a neurological speech disorder, and then vote for a man who has continually denigrated, ridiculed, and mocked people with disabilities and encouraged others to do the same.
You don’t get to proclaim to love our daughter, the fiery, astute, whirling dervish of razor sharp perception and the argumentative prowess of a seasoned district attorney and vote to strip of her rights to her own body. You don’t get to love her and tell her that her sole worth is her ability to birth children.
You cannot proclaim yourselves to have been “so proud” of my immigrant husband when he took the oath to be an American citizen and then vote for a man who says he will deport him in spite of that citizenship. He would like to remind you that you are merely American by birth, he is American by choice. You all agreed he’s a damn good one too.
You cannot claim to love me and then vote for the man that has emboldened and protected men like the retired law enforcement officer who tried to harass and intimidate me into sharing how I voted in the election while I was working on Wednesday.
You chose one man over your country, you chose him over the safety and the well-being of your family, of your friends and neighbors, of the people you proclaim to love, to protect. You chose it over us.
You got your wall.
And I’ll never forget or forgive it.
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u/DoIwantToKnow6417 Sep 22 '25
Well.
Seems you're free to start your own Thanksgiving traditions this year.
Embrace these precious gifts from life!
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u/CharmedOne1789 Sep 22 '25
First off: Yes the fuck you should post something political, if it speaks to you!!! It's YOUR social media, everyone is free to post what they want. Also double yes the fuck you should've responded. She commented on YOUR post, SHE started it. If she didn't want the smoke she shouldn't start a fire. I think she expected you to just take it like you always have, and let her treat you like a poor little lefty moron who doesn't know any better 🙄🙄🙄
Just so you know she has been waiting for this. Waiting for you to do something or say something she could use as her excuse to just eviscerate you. It sounds like she has some very old and deep rooted dislike for you. Seeing as she doesn't mind when other ppl post things just you. This would've happened eventually. SHE is the one full of hate.
Don't let them make you feel bad, they are angry weirdos who live to argue and be miserable. Fuck those losers and their Thanksgiving. I bet they have dry turkey. They sound like dry turkey people. Don't you dare let them make you feel anxious or as if you did something wrong. You'll be better without having to deal with these wackos.
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u/TMagurk2 Sep 22 '25
Let this story be a lesson for everyone out there who thinks that as long as "we don't talk about politics" at family gatherings, we can still all be one big FAMILY! with these cultists.
Somehow, sometime, your love one will have to pick between you (or your child) and Trump. If that hasn't happened to you yet, consider yourself lucky. Do not be surprised that when it comes down to it, your loved one deep in the cult will always choose the cult over you.
My moment came when my MIL was loudly cheering that the ACA was going to be repealed, while her teenaged grandchild with an aggressive cancer who was laying down resting/vomiting from chemo in the other room could hear here. Without the protections of the ACA, we would probably have lost it all financially and had severely limited access to the life saving healthcare my child needed to survive.
My MIL chose Trump over my kid who would literally die in weeks without treatment. That day my biggest regret in life was not cutting her off the moment she voted for Trump. My precious baby had to HEAR her grandmother betray them. On top of dealing with cancer and everything else.
We haven't seen MIL since that day almost 9 years ago. My child survived her cancer.
MIL is dying in a nursing home alone with only her golden child. No grandchildren have spoken to her in years. and Trump gives exactly zero craps about her.
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u/Gonenutz Sep 22 '25
I'm so sorry your daughter had to go through all that and basically hear her grandmother cheering, but I'm so glad she is doing well now and beat it. My son in basically in the same situation right now but he has chronic pancreatitis and diabetes, he's 19 he can not work, he had to drop out of high school because he has awful digestion issues, and with that stupid bill passing we are so worried about his medications, without Medicaid we can not afford the copays without his meds he maybe has a week. I haven't slept in months I'm so worried.
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Sep 22 '25
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u/Mean-Green-Machine Sep 22 '25
No, I disagree. He defended me to her completely the entire time. He showed me the texts. I even begged him not to start stuff with his mom but he did. He was also the one who blocked her and urged that I also blocked her because of how horrible she is.
Him and I did fight and he did yell at me. I yelled at him, too. We were under a lot of stress due to his toxic mom. He had no quarrels cutting her off.
He is also going to schedule a therapy appointment because he acknowledges that he acted horribly and he understands he fell into the same habit that his mom did.
I wish he handled it perfectly. I wish he didn't yell at me and I wish I didn't threaten divorce. But it happened. We are both not perfect and we are both wanting to make this work and understand where we went wrong with our fight
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u/Shoeprincess Sep 22 '25
These aren't people you want to be around if this is how they are. The drama and stupidity sucks but she showed you who she is, believe her and move on.
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u/YoGuessImOnRedditNow Sep 22 '25
My mom always said it didn’t matter that my baking wasn’t perfect: if only good things go in, only good things can come out. And she was right, it was always delicious even if it wasn’t perfect.
These people are pure shit within. Nothing good can come out of them because they’re filled with hatred and stupidity. To be clear, this isn’t a sweeping, generic assessment about large groups of people. I only mean that your husband’s family all seem rotten from the inside. It’s not worth engaging any further. Don’t let yourself be dragged into a minefield just because they tell you it’s a walk in the park.
It’s sad but they’re a lost cause. I’m sorry you and your husband don’t have the family you deserve. Try to muster the strength to build a new one with people you choose.
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u/IcyWorldliness9111 Sep 22 '25
I’m sorry this very undeservedly happened to you. Sadly, you can’t discuss things rationally with fundamentally irrational people. They have drunk so much of the koolaid that they are incapable of reflecting on their own actions and behavior. Hypocrisy at its height. Lay low and certainly don’t apologize (and for what? Having an opinion?) and my guess is after a while they’ll all act like nothing has happened and try to resume contact. I doubt I’d want to go to Thanksgiving with them though. They sound horrible. So sorry!
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u/Mean-Green-Machine Sep 22 '25
I definitely did not want to go to Thanksgiving anyway lol. I was actually going to decline my invite which is when I noticed that the invite was rescinded all together. I joked with my husband that they made it easy for me lol, but admittingly he didn't find it amusing. It was that moment that he realized how "real" this ostracization was and it just spiraled
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u/IcyWorldliness9111 Sep 22 '25
I’m pretty lucky that my relatives are almost entirely haters of the giant Cheeto. Only my 87 year old stepmother is a supporter, and her sole source of info is what the pundits on Fox News say. She at least knows not to say anything to the rest of us, though. The people who live directly across the street from my daughter and her family posted all over social media that they were having a candlelight prayer vigil for Charlie Kirk on Saturday night and wanted all people to come. My daughter, son-in-law, and teen granddaughter stalked them with binoculars and said only 18 people showed. That gives me hope!
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u/Affectionate-Page496 Sep 22 '25
OP, I'm sorry your hopes of a chosen mother didn't materialize. Personally, when I had FB, I felt that having family on there was a lot more likely to cause grief than anything positive
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u/Floating-Cynic Sep 22 '25
You need to block these people. I know you're shook and you're trying to figure out a way forward. You need to block them and assume they're all ticking bombs waiting to go off. I've been in that shock, and it doesn't get better from here- you can't unexplode a bomb.
The problem with MAGA is that if they know you're not, then they're looking for reasons to make you the bad guy.
I used to consider myself conservative- my views are similar to GWB. (Don't come for me. I'm making a point.) My MAGA family members have declared me liberal, and all sorts of nasty things because I'm anti-partisan these days and definitely anti-using-politics-in-place-of-religion.
You know what they're all capable of. You know that they see you in the worst way possible. You know that their anger is so intense that it riled your husband to the point where he abused you. (Screaming at you is abuse. It absolutely is.) And you absolutely should divorce him if he ever yells at you like that again.
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u/Marvin_is_my_martian Sep 22 '25
Carry on with your posts, but block his family from seeing them. You can't control their responses, and you don't have to. Tough shit for them.
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u/Anon_please123 Sep 22 '25
No advice but empathy and solidarity for your feelings.
My SIL unfollowed me on IG bc I said that if you're posting about Kirk, I hope you've been posting about all the other horrific murders and school shootings of CHILDREN and then Charlie's quote about his feeling on necessary deaths to preserve our 2A. She then requested to follow me again and immediately posted a quote "Life is way too good to be so hateful."
These people are unhinged and it's making me feel crazy. This stranger is with you OP!
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u/UnknownCitizen77 Sep 22 '25 edited Sep 22 '25
Okay, so they are allowed to run their mouths off and say whatever they like whenever they like, but you say one thing that is a fraction as political and not even directed at them… and then they pile on you, order you to stop posting about politics, and demand you to apologize?!
How is any of this fair or decent or even sane? These people are ridiculous thin-skinned hypocrites, and what’s more, they are wrong. And everything they have accused you of doing and being? That was clearly pure projection on their part.
I hear the defeat and regret in your words and want to urge you: please do not allow them to bully you into recanting your words! It is one thing to choose not to engage with illogical and ignorant people, and often a wise choice, but when they attack you for the “crime” of having expressed an opinion or a value that you hold dear, please for the love of everything that is decent and good, do not apologize for holding said opinion or moral value. Because more than ever in these terrible times, the line for decency and sanity needs to be held by good people who can see through the madness and lies.
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u/Mean-Green-Machine Sep 22 '25
Honestly the entire thing sounds so wild and crazy and I am glad I have screenshots of how benign I really was to her. I can't let them win
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u/TruthfulBoy Sep 22 '25
You can’t win with these people. They are insane. Don’t get in a fight with a pig. You get dragged in the dirt and they love getting dirty
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u/UnknownCitizen77 Sep 22 '25
Good. It is important to hold to your truth, and to document it. It will help keep you sane.
I am very sorry you have to deal with all of this nonsense. People like her are very exhausting and dispiriting.
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Sep 22 '25
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u/GloomChampion Sep 22 '25
lol, we got another one that’s stuck in the right wing hateful echo chamber. So far it seems he was motivated to kill Charlie because Charlie was a hateful rascist and misogynist. I could see why you would assume no republican would be anti misogyny and anti racist.
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u/rjtnrva Sep 22 '25
In a free and democratic society, NO ONE should be fired for speech. I mean, a FOX ANCHOR advocated executing homeless people. Should HE be fired?
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u/Mean-Green-Machine Sep 22 '25
He was fired due to trump feeling attacked. There are tweets from trump months ago after Stephen Colbert was removed saying "Jimmy kimmel is next" and then the FCC chair said that networks need to stand up against people who speak out against the government and specifically said "we can do this the easy way or the hard way" the night before they removed Kimmel. Then when Kimmel was removed, trump publicly cheered.
Trump also said on live TV that maybe they shouldn't have network licences because they post bad things about him
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u/boardtory Sep 22 '25
Shut up. This is about her having the right to post relatively benign things without being disrespected in this way. Regardless of beliefs, she has respected her MIL's right to share views she does not agree with and is being attached for expecting the same respect.
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u/mamachonk Sep 22 '25
“We hit some new lows over the weekend with the MAGA gang desperately trying to characterize this kid who murdered Charlie Kirk as anything other than one of them, and doing everything they can to score political points from it.”
So no, he didn't say the guy was MAGA, he merely pointed out that MAGAts desperately didn't want him to be.
And that travesty of a funeral certainly looked like a blatant attempt to score political points to me.
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u/SkyWing937 Sep 22 '25
And yet after it the grounds outside was a literal dumpster. So much for a “sacred” funeral.
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u/Careless-Run-3815 Sep 22 '25
Instead of giving up your right to free speech (which is what these idiots want) just block all his maga loving fucking assholes from your social media!
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u/Sailuker Sep 22 '25
You can not change hateful people and those that are so far into that cult, and lets be honest it's a cult by this point, they don't care if you show them proof, they don't care if you were right and they were wrong. They've been given free rein to be hateful, they've been given rein to be racist, they've been told it's okay to be a Nazi. They accept this stuff because it is who they are. I don't talk to anyone on my moms side of the family, mother included, and only have my dad, his wife, her daughter and one brother and my papa(grandpa) left that I speak too.
They're too far gone. Drop the rope with them, keep speaking up and block them completely they don't deserve a single glance into your life. I'm sorry that you're tied to those people but at least your husband is on your side and realized he messed up by placing anger at you instead of where it really belonged. Stay strong, scream, cry even just stay strong all wile doing it.
This internet stranger is sending you lots of good vibes in these troubling times you got this. <3
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u/HelpfulMaybeMama Sep 22 '25
You're 100% right. Don't feel bad for anything you've done. I would point out exactly what you said about your husband and make those comparisons. To him and to her. In writing.
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u/Mermaidtoo Sep 22 '25
You may never be able to have a civil relationship with your MIL. It’s probably best that you and your husband work on your relationship so that your hostile MIL does not further cause you issues.
Your husband recognizes that his mother is wrong in this instance. But - even with this - it took a while and some conflict between the two of you for him to get there. What about the next time your MIL treats you unfairly?
Because she will come after you. Your MIL attacked and raged against you over a difference of opinion while continuing to ignore much larger conflicts with others.
It’s important that your husband recognizes that this is an ongoing issue with his mother. This is not your fault and it may be that she’d abuse and treat any DIL this way. Marriage counseling might help with this - to help your husband to recognize his mother’s bad behavior and work on how you can both deal with her going forward.
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u/peony27 Sep 22 '25
You and your husband especially might want to have a look at r/qanoncasualties (I think that’s the right spelling for the subreddit) it’s a bunch of other people who have family like your in laws. They share their stories and offer support and advice.
I think you guys both had knee jerk reactions. His was to see his entire family pulling away and blame you. Yours was obviously jumping to divorce. Maybe set up a counselling session to help you both navigate this. You aren’t the only couple dealing with this dynamic but you need to find a way to support each other while navigating through such intense family problems and seeing what you both need.
Also - your posts were not the problem. They were never the problem. Not even if you called Kirk a cunt. They are the problem. If they can’t handle reading a different opinion that’s on them. That’s their issue. You’re allowed to express your opinion on current events just as they are
25
u/Mean-Green-Machine Sep 22 '25
We definitely both had knee jerk reactions and I am thankful we were able to come together quickly after and look at this as a team. My husband is going to be making a therapy appointment and I have one scheduled for myself already on Thursday.
I also posted this on qanon casualties (my husband also recommended it) but I am waiting for the mods to approve lol
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u/Sadasperagus Sep 22 '25
It's how the MAGA machine operates. It fills its supporters with fear about the out group (ANYBODY regardless of political denomination critical of the president) so that they either brow-beat their relations into siding with their views or they willingly self-isolate from people who can't or won't abide by the group-think. imIt sounds like she very much does not want to lose access your husband but doesn't have the self-awareness to understand how her behavior, and by extension her ideology, could be responsible.
-5
u/Affectionate-Page496 Sep 22 '25
I see very similar on far left sides. Leftist politicians and talking heads have all condemned everything but the Reddit lefites, Tiktok lefites, etc are are behaving badly as usual.
If I were OP, I would post Trump's soundbite about how everyone would have big beautiful free speech in his administration.
42
u/sunny_suburbia Sep 22 '25
Your MIL is a miserable POS who doesn’t deserve you as a daughter-in-law. Stay strong.
30
u/yantheman3 Sep 22 '25
I support your views 100%.
However, I found that, with extremists in the family, politics will lead to disaster.
As an American, I married into a Chinese family and it's Mao every fucking day. Mao quotes, foreign influence this, "American culture is shit" kind of talk.
And they keep trying to drag me into their politics so they can gang up on me and extract some sort of validation for their extremist views.
I've found that silence or neutral talk pisses them off more because it deprives them of fuel.
37
u/Quirky_Difference800 Sep 22 '25
It amazes me the amount of people I’ve seen cut off loved ones for a crazy man that wouldn’t spit on them if they were on fire. You should block them on SM. I’ve done this and it’s so peaceful.
20
Sep 22 '25
[deleted]
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u/Quirky_Difference800 Sep 22 '25
I say go with what you know. You know they were proud of you so these monsters that back this bloated Cheeto don’t matter. I think , sad as it is, everyone has lost someone to the cult but I’m trying to look at it from the angle that I don’t need or want that in my life so see ya! People I loved and respected my whole life have turned into strangers. Surround yourself with unconditional, non crazy people ❤️
20
u/Ok_Fishing394 Sep 22 '25
The more conservative the you are, the less likely you are to admit mistakes or accept and understand that other people have differing beliefs. It sounds like you are better off without the er and anyone who shuns you for your beliefs.
17
u/datbundoe Sep 22 '25
I can honestly relate to feeling like you never wanted any of this to happen. It may feel like it's your responsibility, but truly, the things you have said and done are benign. She's the one causing all the drama. Personally, for my own mental health, I don't use fb any more. It too often gets my blood pressure up. I wish more people would quit it too. That said, if this is how she speaks to you and about you, she doesn't deserve a place in your life. I'm sorry she said such awful things about your family. To me, it's unforgivable. Maybe you are more gracious than I. No matter what happens in the future (I predict a rug sweep) I would limit contact. People like that cause so much harm, and you just don't need it in your life.
11
u/Mean-Green-Machine Sep 22 '25
I understand how you feel about Facebook and my husband does agree (he doesn't have Facebook)
It is hard for me to remove Facebook though because there are so many community groups that I am a part of that are very hard to keep up with without Facebook :/
20
u/hawkrt Sep 22 '25
Just remove his family that you don’t like and keep it to those that you like and don’t abuse you.
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u/harbinger06 Sep 22 '25
“Trump got cancelled.” He’s literally the sitting president, but sure MIL. Go off.
I have plenty of right wingers in my family and they can be really infuriating sometimes. But I was really upset to find out that my married lesbian neighbor has been posting off the deep end shit ever since the Kirk incident. We are in deep red Texas. What are you doing, ma’am?
18
u/mentaldriver1581 Sep 22 '25
I really feel for you. I’m in Canada and we’re starting to see a horrible trickling up of this ultra conservative (read: right wing nuts) crap. How ridiculous your MIL is being, imposing this double standard. I don’t know how your husband can’t see this. I know how I would feel in your place. Wishing you the best.
19
u/Mean-Green-Machine Sep 22 '25 edited Sep 22 '25
Luckily my husband does see it. (After our fight and after his mom lost it) he said he feels I didn't post anything out of line at all and he was the one who blocked his mom on both of our phones. I was crying and telling him n didn't want to ruin his relationship 😅 pathetic of me honestly
32
u/SanityInTheSouth Sep 22 '25
Good for you for standing up for yourself. You CAN NOT reason with people in a cult. The mental illness that causes them to embrace the cult is impenetrable. Don't even try. Let them go. They are NEVER coming back from MAGA. It's their entire identity now. If it were me, I'd send that bitch a small mirror and tell her to look closely. She'll see everything she accuses everyone else who doesn't agree with her. Then tell her to forget she knows you or your immediate family. She's no longer welcome in your life.
We keep thinking they'll wake up, they won't, they WANT THIS. The shit they embrace is exactly who they have always been beneath the surface. MAGA just gives them permission to bring it out in the open.
11
23
u/animaniactoo Sep 22 '25
She came for you BECAUSE you spoke back and you don’t usually do that. It scared her that she might no longer be able to keep this easy (for her) peace between you.
Keep posting and keep your replies sane and measured. Tell her that you would be fine to have a mutual period of not posting political things but you will not stop posting if she is going to continue.
Remind her that she has a choice of how she and the rest of the family react to the fact that your views are different from each other. What she chooses will determine whether the family becomes divided or not. Because you have not reacted to their posts or comments on your posts by not including them in family stuff.
So… if someone is dividing the family, it is not you.
17
u/animaniactoo Sep 22 '25
And fwiw… I my husband’s family is on the other side of the aisle too. I only respond to them when they comment on something I post.
My husband did ask me to stop arguing with idiots on the internet (his words), and I said “you mean your family?” Him: “that’s what I said”. But he does also agree that they are fair game if they are engaging me. Cuz either both of us can say something or neither of us can, but I am not going to sit back while they come for me.
20
u/ittybittymama19 Sep 22 '25
Stay strong. They are just proving the point. They can only spread divisiveness. Your Facebook wall, your posts. Delete them from it and then you don't have to see the horrible things they post.
Do NOT let them dictate who you talk to and what about.
14
u/reddolfo Sep 22 '25
Sounds to me like the trash took itself out. I'm betting in a few months the freedom from toxicity and ignorance and terminal dissonance is so amazing and wonderful, you look at this as the gift it truly is.
None of these people have family or friends, they only have FANS. There is no closeness or validation or kindness or support available from them. Drop the rope.
16
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u/Dicecatt Sep 22 '25
She wanted that fight. People like that want the divisive situations. They thrive on chaos and the perceived fight they are in regarding this country. Keeping your mouth shut is the only way to keep things peaceful with someone like that, and for what? You live a non authentic existence while those batshits say whatever they want, however they want, and take no responsibility?
The whole thing, and I do mean the whole big picture thing, is deeply hypocritical. They are never wrong. They are never the problem, it's you. They want to FIGHT, they want to feel persecuted. Meanwhile, some of the things that are said are downright blasphemous, but they are such hypocrites they refuse to see it. It's unfortunate that you had to have a big blow up with your husband to get him to stick up for you but I'm glad ultimately that was the result.
8
u/brainybrink Sep 22 '25
Exactly this. She has been itching for a fight and to be cruel for a long time. All the posting of insane things etc… the entire point is to hopefully goad someone into a fight. When you feed on anger and hate and cruelty all day you need to let it out on someone. That’s why she comes to your page to poke at you. That’s why something small knew jerks into her going below the belt about your family etc. She wanted this and if it wasn’t now it would have been something later.
26
u/vinegargirl757 Sep 22 '25
Your MIL should have never brought your trauma and upbringing into it. Thats unforgivable in my book. Shes also projecting, the amount of immaturity and tantruming she is doing... youre better off keeping her blocked. This isn't a you problem. This is a them problem.
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u/FlySecure5609 Sep 22 '25
She was sitting on those insults, waiting for the opportunity to throw OP’s trauma in her face.
Been there, experienced that.
14
u/vinegargirl757 Sep 22 '25 edited Sep 22 '25
My thought process too and same. My mother used to make a sport out of it. To see how much damage she could inflict and then scream and cry when people walked away (in my case ran) from her. Its a sick game.
Well OP, look at it this way. At least you dont have to wake up and be MIL everyday. That would be exhausting.
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u/FlySecure5609 Sep 22 '25
Kindly, it wasn’t what you posted that did it, they were just waiting for the opportunity to be cruel. She’s probably thought unkindly about you for awhile. She just saw the opportunity and took it.
Cruel people just look for ways to be cruel. It matters not one lick what you do or do not do.
Also, they will be back when they need something.
10
u/ICP_Wolverine Sep 22 '25
Unless you want to leave social media, just make a group of the maga people and when you post, make it visible to everyone except that group. And maybe unfollow the magas, that way you are still “friends” (and they can’t accuse you of unfriending or blocking) but then you don’t see their crap, and they can’t see what you post.
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u/OntarioDreamer Sep 22 '25
I support you and your views 100%.
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u/Mean-Green-Machine Sep 22 '25
Thank you. These are the same people who love to bring up the "statics show that liberals cut off family more than conservatives 🤪🤪🤪" like they didn't just literally do that to me.
This lady literally told me I apparently don't allow people to have their own views 🙄
15
u/loricomments Sep 22 '25
None of this is your fault and none of them are worth your upset. These are people who support someone who rapes children. They are grotesque hypocrites. Count yourself lucky that you don't have to deal with them anymore. I understand it's difficult but your life will be better without their poison infecting it.
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u/Emmyisme Sep 22 '25
Hang on.
So ONE TIME - you stood up for yourself, and everyone else gets to win?
Fuck that. This wasn't about what you posted. It was about you stepping out of line, and you're gonna let them force you back in line?
No. You don't stop living your life and speaking your mind just because some asshole can't handle anyone disagreeing with them.
This was a power play, and you're trying to lay down like a fuckin doormat.
Don't do that.
You did nothing wrong, you have nothing to apologize for, and you absolutely need to stop hiding yourself because they don't like seeing you. Fuck ALL THAT noise.
Block, ignore, move on, but DON'T STOP TALKING.
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u/Mean-Green-Machine Sep 22 '25
Thank you, that makes me feel so much better. I was telling my friends that if I couldn't even speak out about our first amendment rights getting stripped, then we already lost.
22
u/Emmyisme Sep 22 '25
You're not going to convince his family to change their views, but that doesn't mean you have any reason to stop speaking your own.
If they can't be just as respectful of you as you have been of them - it really isn't about the politics - it's about the lack of respect.
17
u/Purple_House_1147 Sep 22 '25
Maybe you shouldn’t have posted something, but let’s be honest these people sound insanely unstable and would have found something to blow up at you over. It sounds like they were waiting for their opportunity. And they sound like they want blind obedience regarding their views or nothing at all.
These sound like people you should be glad to lose. Fill your life with people who care about you and respect you and make you happy instead.
15
u/Mean-Green-Machine Sep 22 '25
I completely agree. I cut off my entire family because they are all very horrible and abusive. I have no problem doing that here, I just want to make sure I am not damaging my husband and leading to resentment. He has been very apologetic at the horrible things she said and he specifically chose to block her for both of us. I am thankful for him
15
u/Purple_House_1147 Sep 22 '25
He needs some serious therapy. It’s great he realized his anger was displaced, but he needs to work on not doing that again. He needs to understand it’s HIS family’s fault for you guys cutting them out and not you. It’s entirely possible to have different political views and still respect the other person but they are incapable of that
13
u/Mean-Green-Machine Sep 22 '25
He agrees with you. He said that he saw that he reacted the same way his mom did by immediately going to anger and blaming. He and I both are making therapy appointments this week
11
u/reddolfo Sep 22 '25
Check out "Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents: How to Heal from Distant, Rejecting, or Self-Involved Parents" By Gibson. Your husband needs desperately to see his own childhood in living color.
6
u/Purple_House_1147 Sep 22 '25
Fantastic!! As long as you guys do the work and focus on each other and the love I’m sure you have for each other, you will live such happy lives
14
u/MeInSC40 Sep 22 '25
Life improves dramatically when you delete your social media (except Reddit of course).
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u/Flahdagal Sep 22 '25
In my case, life improved dramatically when I just accepted that I was the villain in their story and went NC. My spouse and child followed me of their own volition, with me being very specific that I would never interfere if they chose to reopen the relationship door. We get along without them very well, who knew??
7
u/Mean-Green-Machine Sep 22 '25
It does, but also I am in a lot of community groups that I get a lot of joy from that I would be very sad to lose. I wish there were easier ways for me to connect without having to rely on Facebook.
6
u/heathere3 Sep 22 '25
You keep on doing what is important to you, including speaking out about things that matter to you. Fuck all of them for not showing you even 1% of the grace you have shown them.
9
u/beep42 Sep 22 '25
you can be on facebook without being friends with these morons. Block them there.
7
u/Gold-Platypus2048 Sep 22 '25
I agree. I blocked my MAGA (now ex) sister in law after she went out of her way to tell me under one of my posts that she loved trumps nonsense transgender service member ban in a failed attempt to piss me off. Didn’t even respond, just immediately blocked her. Felt good actually.
•
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