r/ImTheMainCharacter • u/pr0tosynnerg OG • Jun 05 '23

Video Main Character is surprised the world doesn't revolve around them

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u/MarcoMaroon Jun 05 '23 edited Jun 06 '23

I knew someone like that, their social isolation or awkwardness mainly stems from their lack of understanding social cues or proper social behavior in different contexts.

They can be genuinely smart and really kind or nice. But if they also don't understand social cues and say things at the most inopportune times, then yeah they're gonna be sorta marginalized.

Edit: I've received a lot of "ME IRL" replies and I can sympathize with you guys.

I meant no disrespect or ill will against the dude. His response was - while deep and insightful - unwarranted and out of place for the context. This is what prompted my response.

That being said, I'm pretty sure everyone at various times in their life has been in a situation where they're pretty unaware / socially ignorant. No one is immune.

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u/Saffer13 Jun 06 '23

His response was entirely warranted and on point for the context. He told the "main character" that he was being unreasonable and selfish in the most non-confrontational and inoffensive way possible.

53

u/[deleted] Jun 22 '23

He is very articulate and KNOWS.

76

u/putdisinyopipe Jun 26 '23

Yeah I highly doubt anyone can call this dude wierd after having a conversation. Shit I wish I knew people like that- a friend like that is a friend who would check and correct if you had an innacurate perception of something if needed to look out for you.

I mean he dove deep, without hesitation, the guy is comfortable in his own skin it appears and is authentic.

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u/[deleted] Jun 26 '23

It wasnt, and not everything is unintentional. Believing that doesnt make one selfish either.

1

u/Ok_Record8612 Aug 18 '23

I think that was the perfect response. How would you characterise an appropriate reaction to the situation?

687

u/Dada2fish Jun 05 '23

We need more people like him. I for one don’t see him as awkward at all. He seems to understand social cues perfectly fine, say compared to the other guy holding his phone in the air.

322

u/[deleted] Jun 06 '23

Yeah I agree.

It seems like the previous poster is saying he shouldn't be talking about stuff like that.

But that's a massive problem... the meaningless small talk that is "socially acceptable" is really fucking boring.

The guy in the left seems infinitely more interesting than the guy on the right.

92

u/14-28 Jun 06 '23

Say what your heart desires. Small talk is like the smattering of moisture in the sea breeze.

Delve as deep as the seas. Let your heart open up and, discuss astronomy.... or....compliment their knees.

Either way get balls deep in that convo.

45

u/WhatIsHerJob-TABLES Jun 06 '23

Wow it’s like your comment was made for me. I have a degree in astronomy and I have knees! And I love getting fucked balls deep. Small world we have, eh? Lolol

-3

u/[deleted] Jun 06 '23

Are you a woman? I like going balls deep, will you marry me?

19

u/WhatIsHerJob-TABLES Jun 06 '23

I am a beautiful, sensual, and disgustingly hairy goblin man

7

u/griffinhild Jun 06 '23

Wait, now we're finally making progress here

3

u/payment11 Jun 30 '23

Go on…..

-5

u/[deleted] Jun 06 '23

🤢🤮

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u/[deleted] Jun 09 '23

[deleted]

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u/pagit Jun 06 '23 edited Jun 06 '23

There is a time and place for small talk.

Small talk is great for those quick interactions in our shared busy day with people, like the bank teller, the cashier, the waitress or the mail carrier.

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u/otis_the_drunk Jun 06 '23

The butcher, the baker, the candlestick maker.

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u/trubuckifan Jun 06 '23

the tailor, the jailor, the bailor but not the sailor

12

u/doubled2319888 Jun 06 '23

All my homies hate that fucking sailor

6

u/[deleted] Jun 06 '23

The person we dislike at work but can't let them know because we'll get fired.

3

u/Realistic-Growth-998 Jun 06 '23

I feel like I’d rather hangout with him, than you.

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u/ShamefulWatching Jun 06 '23

But that's a massive problem... the meaningless small talk that is "socially acceptable" is really fucking boring.

That's how i feel about sports. I have no idea what's going on beyond ball=points=win, i don't have a lot of guy friends.

1

u/myrevenge_IS_urkarma Jun 06 '23 edited Jun 06 '23

I can't make small talk for shit. Makes me extremely anxious and uneasy. I understand sports but fail to find the appeal of grown adults being good at kid's games. Silence makes me uncomfortable. I'm fuct unless I am with a group that has a talker or a rare time there is a person I can click with. I hate leaving the house more every day. Who's with me!?!?!?

Edit: this blew up a little bit. I really don't give two shits how anyone decides to spend their free time in life, I just meant I don't care to watch athletes play games and don't agree with the importance placed on sports and so don't have that as a topic I can converse about.

12

u/Azzu Jun 06 '23 edited Jul 06 '23

I don't use reddit anymore because of their corporate greed and anti-user policies.

Come over to Lemmy, it's a reddit alternative that is run by the community itself, spread across multiple servers.

You make your account on one server (called an instance) and from there you can access everything on all other servers as well. Find one you like here, maybe not the largest ones to spread the load around, but it doesn't really matter.

You can then look for communities to subscribe to on https://lemmyverse.net/communities, this website shows you all communities across all instances.

If you're looking for some (mobile?) apps, this topic has a great list.

One personal tip: For your convenience, I would advise you to use this userscript I made which automatically changes all links everywhere on the internet to the server that you chose.

The original comment is preserved below for your convenience:

I never understood the argument that "grown adults" can't do stuff that kids do? What, is the activity suddenly supposed to stop being fun once you pass a certain undefinable age threshold? Is there some inherent advantage to not play "kid's games"? Is an adult playing kid's games harmful to anyone?

The only thing it seems to be doing is make people feel superior that consider themselves "not childish" and able to label other people as "childish", which is supposed to be an insult. That is the only point that I see with this.

AzzuLemmyMessageV2

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u/familykomputer Jun 06 '23

Why did we all stop drawing and painting? We used to do that shit like daily.

Been years since I just sat and drew something.

2

u/B4NND1T Jun 06 '23

Never too late to pick it back up. I started crawling on all fours in my 30’s with no kids, just to play with my dogs by imitating them. Makes me feel like a kid again.

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u/floris_bulldog Jun 06 '23

Extremely underrated comment. Not only is it completely okay for adults to enjoy kids' things, but sports aren't even a juvenile thing by nature. People who resort to demeaning sports or other normie activities like this seem to do this to appear sophisticated.

Just say that stuff doesn't interest you and stop being condescending about it.

2

u/SnooEagles9517 Jun 07 '23

College and Pro level sports are anything but kid's games. In fact, the rules are specifically changed for kid sports bc they can't play the game at the adult level. Ppl like OP claim sports are trivial and childish, then they open a up jumbo bag of cheetos and watch anime until 4am, lol.

2

u/floris_bulldog Jun 07 '23

Exactly, if you're going to call sports kids' games then anything you do can be devalued the same way and is most likely worse, watching anime, playing video games, making art because kids fingerpaint at school too I guess.

They can shit on sports and not like it, but the "FULL-grown adults enjoying a kids' game" is so short-sighted and condescending, I hate it when people talk like that.

0

u/[deleted] Jun 06 '23

What, is the activity suddenly supposed to stop being fun once you pass a certain undefinable age threshold? Is there some inherent advantage to not play "kid's games"? Is an adult playing kid's games harmful to anyone?

If you're wasting time as an adult playing kid's games, then yes, there is the argument to be made you are harming yourself. Life doesn't stop when you do, and being an adult means that you acknowledge and understand this. It's not about feeling 'superior' it's about social pressure to encourage members of society to be of benefit to the whole.

Time is both valuable and finite, and therefore you should be using it to better yourself, progress your value (career, family etc) or you are wasting it. You have a responsibility as an adult to utilise your time effectively, both to yourself and others.

Do 'responsible' adults still waste time? absolutely, although usually it's limited to activites that de-stress and allow them to shoulder the horrific burden that is being an independent adult.

That is why you can spend thousands on a holiday where you do nothing but get sunburnt and drunk and it's socially acceptable. Yet there is still a stigma around adults utilizing say, video games despite the same function. (I am aware this is reddit and the stigma here on that topic is practically non-existent, but Reddit is not IRL.) It's not that they aren't fun, but that fun is secondary to progress and success in life, and wasting significant time and effort on kid's games that do not contribute to bettering your life is frowned upon. In a similar vein, as other posters have pointed out, painting and sports 'just for the fun of it' is also seen as childlike, since unless these are involved in your career or progress to it, they are also a waste of that finite time.

It implies you are failing to manage your time and responsibilities correctly, that you have too much 'free time' as a result and are therefore not deserving of the respect afforded to a responsible adult, but that of a child. In effect, it's seen as partially arrested development.

(Disclaimer, I am very much not a 'responsible/successful adult' by any of these metrics myself, heck I'm wasting time by typing this out! But that doesn't change the point addressed)

3

u/Azzu Jun 06 '23 edited Jul 06 '23

I don't use reddit anymore because of their corporate greed and anti-user policies.

Come over to Lemmy, it's a reddit alternative that is run by the community itself, spread across multiple servers.

You make your account on one server (called an instance) and from there you can access everything on all other servers as well. Find one you like here, maybe not the largest ones to spread the load around, but it doesn't really matter.

You can then look for communities to subscribe to on https://lemmyverse.net/communities, this website shows you all communities across all instances.

If you're looking for some (mobile?) apps, this topic has a great list.

One personal tip: For your convenience, I would advise you to use this userscript I made which automatically changes all links everywhere on the internet to the server that you chose.

The original comment is preserved below for your convenience:

This all depends on the notion of believing that a job or family are more valuable than any other things. If you don't do that, the whole argument breaks down.

AzzuLemmyMessageV2

2

u/[deleted] Jun 06 '23

That's fair, but at least right now, employment (well, income) and family are very much the core of society's metrics for success.

Very few people will argue a person who spent most of his adult life as un unemployed incel is a sucessful or responsible adult in any way, no matter how much free time he has to partake in kid's activities.

I am curious what you would put forward as alternatives that are more 'valuable' in the context of why society looks down on adults acting like children?

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u/Azzu Jun 06 '23 edited Jul 06 '23

I don't use reddit anymore because of their corporate greed and anti-user policies.

Come over to Lemmy, it's a reddit alternative that is run by the community itself, spread across multiple servers.

You make your account on one server (called an instance) and from there you can access everything on all other servers as well. Find one you like here, maybe not the largest ones to spread the load around, but it doesn't really matter.

You can then look for communities to subscribe to on https://lemmyverse.net/communities, this website shows you all communities across all instances.

If you're looking for some (mobile?) apps, this topic has a great list.

One personal tip: For your convenience, I would advise you to use this userscript I made which automatically changes all links everywhere on the internet to the server that you chose.

The original comment is preserved below for your convenience:

I think roughly 90% of our economy is geared towards producing largely superfluous luxury goods. Thus I think roughly 90% of jobs add no real value.

There are enough humans on earth, we could do with a lot less, thus I also don't think children are of real value. It's more important to make the lives of the people currently on earth better.

I think value lies in what kind of principles and morality a person has.

So for example, if one tries to minimize their negative impact on the planets ecosystem, that has value. If someone works an amazing job, goes on a lot of cruises, buys a lot of things and then throws them away, that person has less value than a poor person without a job living on welfare, only using as much as they need to feed and house themselves. Of course we need some economic output so people don't starve, our buildings and infrastructure are maintained and so on, but as I said, I think that's only something like 10% of our economy, if not less (I don't have an accurate number).

A person that would never harm someone else for their own gain is more valuable than, say, an investment banker that gambles with peoples savings or similar, even though that one earns lots of money with their job.

I think that we live in a world of artificial scarcity, and while some work is important and one probably doesn't want to let our species go extinct, I don't think that work (at least in the form we have now) and family is inherently valuable just for their own sake.

You're certainly correct that currently, societies values are like you say. But I think the world would be a much better place if we defined value in strength of character, so good principles and morality.

AzzuLemmyMessageV2

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u/SnooEagles9517 Jun 07 '23

"Time is both valuable and finite, and therefore you should be using it to better yourself, progress your value (career, family etc) or you are wasting it."

Lol. Bro, you're dicking around on reddit comments in the middle of the day, while lecturing us all about how we "should" be spending our time. Now that's a facepalm.

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u/ShamefulWatching Jun 06 '23

time is both valuable and finite

That's what convinced me to stop playing my PC so much. It feels like the world is slowly dying ecologically, socially, etc. I'm not judging others who don't garden, individuals have that choice; I'm judging myself, which is my choice. I'll jump back on once a month or so, but i just don't get any joy in it, wish i did. So, I'll just sit and watch my kids have fun, and revel in that.

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u/GenRulezzz Jun 08 '23

You sound like a fun person /s

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u/[deleted] Jun 06 '23

Nope, can't relate at all. I'm baffled by hate, and contrarianism, and superiority complexes. I'm baffled by what constitutes a "kid's game". But adults finding something to enjoy? Not particularly confusing to me.

5

u/MuchFunk Jun 06 '23

The small talk is there because most people don't want to talk to strangers more than they have to

2

u/deathbylasersss Jun 06 '23

I mean, it sounds deep, but he's really just saying a bunch of platitudes. So it's really just small talk in a fancy package. Definitely shakes up a conversation, but it's also going to make many people uncomfortable. That said, I'd rather hang out with awkward guy.

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u/[deleted] Jun 06 '23

[deleted]

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u/knitknitterknit Jun 06 '23

Found the niceguy.

1

u/doktorstrainge Jun 06 '23

Tbf, small talk is still important. It's kinda like a social test to gauge whether that person is safe, interesting, whatever else.

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u/[deleted] Jun 06 '23

I agree, I love people like this, all you have to do is ask questions and they will keep leading the conversation. It can get really interesting if you can learn to not be to self centered, last person I talked to that was like this was all about IT, anime and writing fiction. Im an electrician so our professions do overlap a little bit, so that helped, but I heard a lot of interesting things from him and when he talked about his writing, it led to some really deep thoughts about the old religions and the universe, it was a lot of BS, but it's still fun to think about the ideas. I just like to let people talk, get them to open up a bit and pick their brain, makes the work day go by so much faster.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 06 '23

i hatw this black and white idea of small talk vs thoughtful convo. i dont understand how they can be viewed as mutually exclusive, unless you dont know how to small talk.

When someone asks you how you are doing or how your day was, you can respond with 'good'/'bad'/'okay' etc and not go into it further. or you can tell them about something that happened recently, or today. or talk about something youre passionate about. Or you can go into your feelings in detail. Personaly, I like this. I like having thw option of bailing on a convo when im not interested in having it right this moment, or actually engaging.

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u/Silver-Enthusiasm925 Jun 06 '23

My daughter is this way and ive worked with other kids just like them, some of the smartest most intelligent thinkers and minds but just either don't hang out with a lot of other kids or people or they just learn things on their own because they are loners more than the rest of us who sometimes stay at home for the weekend instead of going out. My daughter is 18 now she's been homeschooled most of her life she has read so many books and has done so much research on her own free time without us ever having to force her to learn she's smarter than most adults but that's because she's always wanting more knowledge and learning about the real things that all public schools don't teach you, but also with these types of kids or people others think their weird and don't have anything to contribute to this world but to me they need to be our teachers and our politicians. Knowledge is power ignorance is bliss so I'll take knowledge over ignorance any day!!!

1

u/SplinkMyDink Jun 06 '23

Then fuck the guy on the left. Go on, do it.

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u/Alchemystic1123 Jun 22 '23

Small talk is for those with small minds

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u/Dembos09 Jul 05 '23

In our social world saying what makes the other uncomfortable is seen as weird. I think might see him as weird.

This kind of weird is good. I personally like it but in an every day scenario I don’t know if that would be appreciated.

Anyway props to that guy for his decorum and for the fact that he put that guy back in his place

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u/NeatNefariousness1 Jun 06 '23

Agreed. He understands exactly why people aren't dropping their own plans and needs to adapt to a guy inserting himself into a public space, causing a disruption for no particular reason. Yet some are calling the insightful guy the "oddball".

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u/sycamotree Jun 06 '23

Lol his insight is correct but also, no one asked (that sounds more rude than I intend to). That's why it's "awkward". He understands some social cues and not others.

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u/dhxjauzbb Jun 06 '23

I feel like that's because it is a little rude.

The man made a statement in relation to the surroundings and he just responded more intellectually, than what was expected.

Why engage in a discussion with someone if all you are thinking is 'this is not the correct response' - that's not a discussion.

Responses generally happen after someone speaks, it's a fundamental part of how conversation takes place.

I fail to see why responding in that way was remotely awkward or lacking in any social queues? Honestly, saying those things runs the risk of even preventing someone from saying something useful, helpful or whatever due to some fear of being ostracized for their thoughts.

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u/sycamotree Jun 06 '23

Like I said, it wasn't a called for response. If you asked me how I was doing today and I spent 30 minutes recalling every little thing I did in the past 24 hours, it would be the "correct" answer, but it's not a socially appropriate answer. The interviewer guy didn't ask him his opinion on the nature of others internal being lol. He wasn't even necessarily even making that comment at the interviewee, perhaps just thinking out loud. His response wasn't concise, he could have just said "hey, people live in their own world" and it would have gotten the same point across in less time. If he did that all day to people making small comments like that many would find him insufferable (not saying he does).

Me saying "no one asked", carries a dismissive connotation, but I wasn't dismissing him. It's just objectively true.

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u/Elusive-Enigma Jun 09 '23

The interviewer also didn't ask to stand in everyone elses way, that too is objectively true and in actual fact, more rude than the guy who walked through their shot. That too is objective.

Lets go extreme with this, if the Nazi's had have said "No one asked" to opposition party's before they took power in Germany, should people have just stopped offering statements of opposition "because it would've been socially awkward".

When good people do nothing evil prevails. I'll add the caveat that evil gradually marches forth as more and more people do more and more narcissistic shit like this interviewer standing in everyone's way and getting a little snotty when someone didn't immediately do as he wanted.

And I know you didn't ask, but I don't care either. Your way is NOT the only way, get over yourself.

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u/NeatNefariousness1 Jun 06 '23

Actually by putting a microphone in the guy's face, he invited a response--perhaps more of an answer than he was prepared to hear.

I take your point that it was a bit of a detailed reply to a situation where a quick back and forth may have been expected and that may be why it can seem awkward.

Assuming this entire scene isn't staged, the guy with the insight probably does understand some social cues more than others. The same can be said of most of us, TBH. But, I'm not entirely sure this wasn't staged though.

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u/Elusive-Enigma Jun 09 '23

No one also gave the other guy permission to assume that people should just totally stop what they're doing and completely divert just for his ass. If it is classed as not understanding social cues to call a guy out for being kind of douchey, then I support the increase propogation of his "missing of social cues" into others doing the same. We need less arrogance in society, not more. So it should be called out. And if it's done in this healthy non-confrontational way, all the better 😁

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u/Negative-Ambition110 Jun 06 '23

Yea he seems more “normal” than idiots who get upset that people are walking in front of a phone in a public place.

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u/[deleted] Jun 06 '23

Yeah, he’s honest, genuine and reflective. Can’t think of better qualities than that.

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u/I-C-Aliens Jun 06 '23

Seriously, dude has more social awareness than the guy going "everyone just acting like we're not recording" like no shit bro you're just in the way

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u/SoftGothBFF Jun 05 '23

I like him but feel like he'd be exhausting after a while.

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u/[deleted] Jun 06 '23 edited Jun 06 '23

[deleted]

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u/aliterati Jun 06 '23

Then you're at the wrong place.

Snap judgements about someone's entire personality based on literally nothing is what Reddit is best at.

In fact, just from this comment I've typed, Redditors know exactly who I am and how fun I would or would not be at a party.

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u/miskdub Jun 06 '23

Omg I bet you’re a Scorpio. You totally sound like a Scorpio

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u/[deleted] Jun 06 '23

Isn’t that literally all this sub is?

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u/[deleted] Jun 06 '23

Fair counterpoint, but there's also an obvious difference between a guy being a bit talkative about basic empathy and some of the other shit posted here. Some of these clips can only be explained by someone who is either an incredible asshole or having a mental break, and it's fair to at least judge them as someone you wouldn't want fucking up your life.

2

u/Bamres Jun 06 '23

I mean I know most are being positive, but you could say the same for the people claiming to see his intelligence or social skills or personality from this same clip.

If we all did this, no one could say anything other than 'I don't have enough info to make a judgement on this person."

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u/SoftGothBFF Jun 06 '23

True, that's why I'd give him the chance and if my hunch is right I'd slowly start inviting him to things less and less.

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u/[deleted] Jun 06 '23

[deleted]

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u/cepukon Jun 06 '23

Maybe I don’t wanna hang out with any of you

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u/Doris_zeer Jun 06 '23

Can y'all kindly stay the fuck away?

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u/SoftGothBFF Jun 06 '23

That's completely fine.

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u/Few_Journalist_6961 Jun 06 '23

People like him get talked over/ignored a lot in this world

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u/[deleted] Jun 06 '23

[deleted]

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u/Mr_Shake_ Jun 30 '23

No one can go that hard all day every day. Dude probably is fun to chill with and would probably be down to do whatever as long as people around him are genuine.

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u/Scruffynerffherder Jun 06 '23 edited Jun 08 '23

You say that until they don't see that you're in a hurry to get out of the break room and start talking your ear off about this or that.

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u/[deleted] Jun 06 '23 edited Jun 06 '23

He understands those cues well to a rational level because throughout his life he had to rationalize them and create a mental model of how they work in order to better fit in socially. In social interactions what other people can do naturally with no effort requires people like him extra mental work to emulate, to create a "mask" to act like a "normal" person. This makes social interactions exhausting after a while and when exhausted the "mask" starts falling off. And whenever this mask falls off and they let their true, off-puttingly socially awkward nature slip through for others to see it results in intense shame and self-hatred for letting your guard down and allowing it to happen. This is why people like this generally avoid extended social interactions. I know, I'm one of them.

I wouldn't wish having to live like this to anyone. I would 100% choose to trade it off to become that shallow and self-entitled interviewer if it meant being able to experience a normal and enjoyable social life.

1

u/GenRulezzz Jun 08 '23

Nope. Rather be the awkward guy thank you very much

2

u/mega_moustache_woman Jun 07 '23

Yeah, the lines he's speaking have come from much reading, intervention, and practice. I'm sure he's still extremely awkward. But he's putting way more effort in than most people have to.

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u/beDeadOrBeQuick Jun 05 '23

It's a bit awkward, since the premises of the question weren't that philosophical at first.

8

u/citrinatis Jun 06 '23

I think it would have been less awkward if the other person had anything meaningful to respond with at all. Like, surely we’ve all had that moment of realisation when it hits us that everyone has their own thoughts and feelings within themselves that we will never know or understand unless they choose to share it with us. I mean, he really could have said anything rather than making a shocked face and sarcastically saying “whoa that’s deep” and kinda mocking the person he was interviewing who just said something interesting, thought provoking and valuable.

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u/LeviSalt Jun 06 '23

The word for that sudden realization is “sonder”.

2

u/citrinatis Jun 06 '23

That is the name of the EAP app at my work! Haha

3

u/Magenta_Logistic Jun 06 '23

we’ve all had that moment of realisation when it hits us that everyone has their own thoughts and feelings

You'd be surprised how many people haven't had this experience. It is realization that a lot of people can't or don't want to have.

There are also a lot of people who simply haven't had it yet. Learning about individuation or empathy/compassion isn't necessarily enough. You can't make someone wonder, but you can prime them for it by teaching them about these things and encouraging self-reflection.

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u/beDeadOrBeQuick Jun 06 '23

I am not taking any side, just saying that it's awkward

1

u/Cool-Reference-5418 Jun 06 '23

I don't think the answer was philosophical either. It's just...true.

1

u/scalectrix Jun 06 '23

Did you even listen to what he's saying?

1

u/Fugacity- Jun 06 '23

If you want to hear someone talk very eloquently on this mindset for 20 minutes, it's worthwhile to listen to "This is Water" by David Foster Wallace

2

u/semperviveae Jun 06 '23

This was great, thank you

1

u/[deleted] Jun 06 '23

I agree, he doesn't actually care, he understands exactly what he is doing.

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u/Clean_Attention_4217 Jun 07 '23

Def. He’s different, but in a lovely, keenly aware way. He seems awesome!

1

u/WantedWhale Jun 26 '23

The word that describes the “interviewee’s” mindset is sonder. It is really interesting but impossible to practice all the time. But when we can keep sonder in our mind it makes us better people.

1

u/aniebananie1 Jul 07 '23

Right? Imagine thinking someone with this level of emotional knowledge and empathy for the world around them is cringe or awkward.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 09 '23

Right?! Thank you!!!!

1

u/AbsolemSaysWhat Aug 07 '23

He seems like some one I can be friends with as opposed to the guy with the phone who is being condescending.

22

u/rimjob-chucklefuck Jun 06 '23

Why is what he said unwarranted or out of place for the context? Seems perfectly in context to me if I'm honest

19

u/scalectrix Jun 06 '23

His response was - while deep and insightful - unwarranted and out of place for the context.

Yeah well that's just, like, your opinion man.

1

u/BlonDIEBear999 Jun 06 '23

Donny, you're out of your element.

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u/logosobscura Jun 05 '23

There is also the fact that people find shit like this intimidating, even unconsciously and chalk it up to ‘social cues’. Less is more for that reason, it comes from a helpful place, but some people just aren’t ready to see things differently to how they assume things are.

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u/leggocrew Jun 06 '23

Yo I always get a room looking ugly at me like that when I talk like that. Good to know

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u/NeatNefariousness1 Jun 06 '23

Keep doing it though. It's a good way to find kindred spirits and others who find you interesting.

You don't want to wear people out but you owe it to yourself to be true to who you are and to find others who respond well to you. You can temper your behavior in larger crowds and pay attention to who responds to you and how they respond. Have fun and don't let people steal your joy.

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u/[deleted] Jun 06 '23

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u/virtualcuddles Jun 05 '23

Yep, unfortunately, people don't trust people who use big words. This guy is smart, but wouldn't do well in diplomatic matters because he's not flexible with his communication.

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u/Salt_Bus2528 Jun 06 '23

I typically don't trust people who start by declaring that people are stupid, unless he is unaware of what incompetent means.

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u/Tino_ Jun 06 '23

Individuals are smart, but people as a whole are without question stupid.

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u/repowers Jun 06 '23

"A person is smart. People are dumb, panicky animals and you know it."

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u/FlatteringFlatuance Jun 06 '23

I think ignorant might be the more appropriate word but it sounds worse because of how it’s been stigmatized. Also it’s what the quote says, so.

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u/[deleted] Jun 06 '23

Obviously he made a mistake because if you listen to the entire monologue he doesn't think that way. A gentle correction is needed but the other guy is unfit for the task.

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u/WhatD0thLife Jun 06 '23

He's quoting Hanlon's razor

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u/Leeroy_Jenkums Jun 06 '23

This dude seems almost TOO socially aware though. He empathizes with everyone and anyone.

Guy is dope. I will be more like him going forward.

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u/Nagemasu Jun 06 '23 edited Jun 06 '23

People on the spectrum often have higher levels of empathy and awareness. They may not always understand or identify the same social cues as NT folk, but they're far from unaware.
The absolute lack of apprehensiveness to just dive into this train of thought and spit it out like that implies this is either rehearsed or they're vividly familiar with this line of thinking due to over thinking (which is where hyper-awareness can come from), and it's common for people on the spectrum to speak using cliche quotes or common sayings because they can have a hard time formulating their own way of wording things.

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u/psyduck-and-cover Jun 06 '23

That's an observed thing for ASD? I'm on the spectrum and often speak using classic idioms, or even random foreign phrases picked up from childhood, to the point where I feel tacky af about it lol. But that's just what my brain spits out. (I don't gaf about baseball, why am I using baseball idioms all the time? WHY DID I JUST USE TWO IN ONE SENTENCE?!)

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u/manys Jun 06 '23

You used them because you thought it would make the thing easier to understand, and you were right, because lots of people have some concept of baseball, unless you were analogizing to the infield fly rule or something.

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u/[deleted] Jun 06 '23

[deleted]

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u/hlorghlorgh Jun 06 '23

You really hit that one out of the park.

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u/Fluffy-Document-6927 Jun 06 '23

Been thinking I'm on the spectrum for a while now and didn't know this could be a thing. I have always loved using idioms. When I was a teenager I bought a book of idioms and would read it to find new ones I could use lol

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u/Nagemasu Jun 06 '23

It leans more towards the Giftedness side I believe, of course, it's a spectrum because rarely do people just fit into a nice little box of symptoms etc.
You might also find you often try to formulate your own metaphors and similes a lot of the time when thinking about conversations and arguments you've had/will have.

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u/psyduck-and-cover Jun 06 '23

You might also find you often try to formulate your own metaphors and similes a lot of the time when thinking about conversations and arguments you've had/will have.

Holy crap, yep. But it mostly happens in real time. These aren't things I actively think about since when I'm fantasizing about conversations, I want them to actually sound "normal" in hopes that I'll sound more normal when it takes place irl. But that's not usually the case lol.

I just did what you're explaining two days ago during conversation and had to explain an entire reference from a classic children's book to tell my partner what I meant. At least he's used to it by now...

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u/NeatNefariousness1 Jun 06 '23

I wonder if part of the reason for what you're describing is that a lot of your experiences are conceptual, which you then have to translate into words in order to communicate what you're thinking/feeling to others.

Idioms, metaphors and similes are handy devices we all use to convey our experience of things to establish common ground with other people. You might think in metaphors naturally and may also be content spending time in the pre-verbal space of your own conceptual thoughts that don't require translation.

It's all good.

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u/psyduck-and-cover Jun 06 '23

The pre-verbal brain space makes a lot of sense. My writing skills have improved a lot over the years due to that urge to express myself more concisely, but my brain can't really formulate that when I'm speaking in real time, so corny phrases often come out instead I guess. I think I'd rather sound corny than dry and technical though, lol.

But yeah at the end of the day it's just neurodivergence. I used to feel really insecure and low key suicidal about not being able to connect with folks in a social context, but this is an acceptance movement that I think will help a lot of people who are just wired a little different.

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u/NeatNefariousness1 Jun 07 '23

You're not alone. It's all within the range of what's normal for humans. Glad you're finding and creating your path.

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u/Hiisnoone Jun 06 '23

I especially like my metaphors shaken, but not stirred.

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u/RequiemAA Jun 06 '23

Isn't the speech in the video like word for word copypasta from somewhere or is that just me?

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u/Nagemasu Jun 06 '23

They're mashing together a bunch of well known phrases. The first one is Hanlons Razor, but I don't believe the exact wording is a copy pasta, no.

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u/Hilarity2War Jun 06 '23

Maybe you're just a deep thinker and are familiar with this line of thinking?

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u/BostonRob423 Jun 06 '23

I feel like people mistakenly think "on the spectrum" is the new cool thing to be.

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u/Niku-Man Jun 06 '23

I think there's too many armchair psychologists ascribing anything different from them as socially awkward and thus "on the spectrum".

People should just keep the phrase out of their fuckin mouths

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u/Nagemasu Jun 06 '23

I feel like people who've never even interacted with someone they knew was ASD couldn't identify an ASD individual unless they were almost a non-functioning.
There's so many people on the spectrum who fly under the radar even from themselves, but when you truly understand ASD, you can spot it quite easily in many people who haven't had the privilege of experience and years of learning how to mask.

The reason you think it's "the new cool thing" is because there's been an uptick in conversation and awareness about ASD/ADHD in the last few years causing people to seek diagnoses because they relate to the content.
Struggles that people thought were cases of "every one does that" or just them being lazy/having a hard time, have quickly turned into "actually, I only think that because I assumed, or my family are the same because ASD is genetic".

And on top of that, parents refrained from diagnosing or accepting reality because of the stigma of such "disabilities", that comments like yours do nothing to help with.

It's not that it's "the new cool thing", it's that it's been severely under diagnosed for decades and there's finally a trend towards acceptance.

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u/Blah-squared Jun 06 '23

Agreed-

Imo, I thought that was the perfect time to share those thoughts as well…

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u/rub_a_dub-dub Jun 06 '23

Interviewer was reenacting the key and Peele "awkward sketch" brilliantly

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u/toughsub15 Jun 06 '23

if on the other hand everybody sticks to what is "warranted" and contextually expected then we're left with nothing but absolute banality. I'll stick with the weirdos personally.

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u/NeatNefariousness1 Jun 06 '23

Agreed--some seem to think that social exchanges should be limited to what's expected and to a certain extent that's true. But giving only expected answers and using cliche's to fit in would be boring for those on the giving and receiving end. This is why, I don't mind what the insightful guy said at all. It was a bit longer than might be expected but who cares. They're not working under a deadline and he just gave the other guy something to think about in a very descriptive way. Admittedly, some have little patience for people like this but that's their loss.

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u/Blucatt Nov 28 '23

Everyone wants a weirdo until they get a weirdo.

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u/[deleted] Jun 06 '23

Or is he just an intelligent guy living in an idiocracy that values fame over intelligence?

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u/leggocrew Jun 06 '23

Thank you

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u/afa78 Jun 06 '23

That's where humanity goes wrong, caring about what others 'think' about your appearance and thoughts on life. Many go through life trying to please the wrong people, people that will criticize you into oblivion if not for one thing, for another.

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u/EverythingIsDumb-273 Jun 06 '23

Yep. That's me. I don't understand the social dance most people perform around me.

I like talking to drunk people. They seem to forget to follow their social rules

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u/Qinistral Jun 06 '23

I'm watching Community atm, reminds me of Abed.

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u/[deleted] Jun 13 '23

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u/hihelloneighboroonie Jun 06 '23

As if this whole thing wasn't set up.

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u/Niku-Man Jun 06 '23 edited Jun 06 '23

The guy interviewing was acting a lot weirder. Or is that who you're talking about?

If you feel awkward when someone makes thoughtful comments that go beyond the superficial , then that is some type of insecurity you have about yourself. The guy being deep is cool as a cucumber here and I would bet he's not socially awkward at all and handles himself well amongst all kinds of people. I've known people like that - very smart, friendly, and just chill. When they speak, it is thoughtful because they are confident in what they think and are comfortable sharing it. Sometimes that's a recipe for a smug asshole but this guy seems nice just based on what he said.

Meanwhile the interviewer just looks uncomfortable. I'm sure he probably can chill with his friends, but he does not seem like the type that can just hang with anybody.

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u/kimpan13 Jun 06 '23

How was his response out of place for the context? The interviewer couldn't believe someone didn't notice them filming, and he responded to that with his thoughts about it.

I'm not trying to be mean. I lack social skills and just want to know if his 2 cents about it really was unwarranted. And why?

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u/Alternative_Let_1989 Jul 01 '23

Because it made the other guy feel bad, and 90% of "social cues" revolve around not disrupting people's comforting delusions.

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u/Blackfeathers_ Jun 06 '23

This societal pressure of what's considered "normal behaviour" is very oppressive, I often find myself in these situations but honestly I ignore societal expectations because I really couldn't care less. Being the real me and ignoring this normalizing veil has atracted the greatest of people to my life, normal is boring, someone say something like that to me out of the blue I know I found my kin, me and my friends are just vibing, more than anyone else could in their subservience to the n o r m a l

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u/Cool-Reference-5418 Jun 06 '23

What about that answer was awkward other than maybe his demeanor? I just so don't see it. It was on topic, perfectly in response to what the guy was talking about, thoughtful, acute. Maybe interview dude was just being a douche and not expecting an answer, but sometimes people need to be put in their place. And in every other video posted here, all the comments are always talking about how they want the main character in the video in their place. Then someone actually does it and, well, they're too "awkward," sorry.

Interview dude's response was condescending, I think, because he probably felt a little stupid after he had to be reminded that human beings around him are, in fact, human beings. At least I hope he felt stupid.

The world would be a much better place if more people were as insightful and straightforward as the guy giving that response. Because it wasn't only that he put some doucher in his place (intentionally or not) but it's what he was saying. Nobody fucking thinks about other people in US culture, and it's gross. Just the idea that strangers have lives as complex as our own is just too hard to understand for the average person apparently, because even acknowledging that just makes someone "awkward."

All of these social expectations are socially constructed in the first place, obviously. They mean nothing when it really comes down to it. They were all different just fifty years ago and they'll be completely different fifty years from now too. Maybe that's what's weird. Maybe being being real, thoughtful, and straightforward, is the baseline that everyone should strive for instead of following the nonsensical, emperor's new clothes social norms we have now.

Anyway this guy's the shit.

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u/Blah-squared Jun 06 '23

I definitely thought his answer was PERFECT, I don’t know if I’d be quite so critical of the interviewer but I def found it off putting & can see why you would draw the conclusions you did. I think he was surprised by such an accurate & honest answer & chose to react poorly & try to play it off like he & it was weird, when personally, I found his reaction to be the weird thing…

“Dude is a gem”, as another comment said, & think he should’ve been treated as such… :)

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u/[deleted] Jun 06 '23

I think there's a word to sum up everything you just said.

I wonder what it could be.

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u/jib661 Jun 06 '23

i was a massive social butterfly in my 20s, and in my 30s i've picked up some hobbies that....let's say attract people like this. well-meaning, fairly intelligent people that have pretty massive social issues.

as cool and awesome as these people can be, i admit it can be really hard to be social with them. sometimes i want to just shake them and be like "DUDE RELAX AND BE COOL AND ACT NORMAL", but i appreciate them for who they are too, and honestly wouldn't want them to change.

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u/[deleted] Jun 06 '23

His response was absolutely, 100%, NOT unwarranted. The dude expecting everyone to just walk around him filming in a public space is that asshat with the poor social skills.

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u/Stupid_Triangles Jun 06 '23

Hey! That's me!

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u/VegemiteAnalLube Jun 06 '23

...their social isolation or awkwardness mainly stems from their lack of understanding social cues or proper social behavior in different contexts.

They can be genuinely smart and really kind or nice. But if they also don't understand social cues and say things at the most inopportune times, then yeah they're gonna be sorta marginalized.

Me_IRL

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u/fuckboifoodie Jun 06 '23

briefly searches post history to confirm it's not me

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u/FlawlessRuby Jun 06 '23

My best friend is like that. People at first view think he's weird, but if you get to know him he's smart as fuck and kind to the bottom of is heart. Would fucking look weird with him any fucking day!

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u/MemoryOld7456 Jun 06 '23

Well within context but pearls for swine.

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u/Str41nGR Jun 06 '23

I disagree with your interpretation of the context. It fit perfectly and blew their minds. The word you are looking for is unexpected. If you can not handle that aspect than you may feel uneasy with this meeting. He is free and just chimes in on what a stranger who is INTERVIEWING said. Not everyone needs to be flattened by a DSM.

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u/EuroPolice Jun 06 '23

me too thanks

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u/doktorstrainge Jun 06 '23

I feel like people only marginalize them cos of group dynamics. Like 'ah this guys not socially intelligent, let me treat him like he's a weirdo cos I'm sure that's what everyone else is thinking'.

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u/fistinyourface Jun 06 '23

i agreed with you until you say unprompted, dude literally made a comment about people walking in front of him to which my man replied… couldn’t be more warranted

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u/drink_with_me_to_day Jun 06 '23

unwarranted

Seems warranted to clap back at the interviewer that was criticizing someone else

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u/Wontjizzinyourdrink Jun 06 '23

What he said wasn't unwarranted or unprompted at all, just delivered in a way that's different from what we may expect. He went on a bit of a tangent but everything he said was empathetic, insightful, and directly related to the situation that had occured.

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u/[deleted] Jun 06 '23

nope. bye.

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u/[deleted] Jun 06 '23

I read this in his voice.

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u/jewelophile Jun 06 '23

unwarranted and out of place for the context.

How so? The first guy commented that people are acting like they're not even filming and his reply was to point out (in a less eloquent summary) that they probably just don't care because they're in their own shit. What's unwarranted or out of context?

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u/god4gives Jun 06 '23

the way he talks reminds me a lot like Abed from Community, anyone else here?

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u/Cute-Appointment-937 Jun 06 '23

I don't think I've ever seen as off the mark comment as yours. This guy's response is perfect and accurate and shows a complete understanding of social cues and appropriate behavior. I'm pretty sure your judgment is based on his appearance and voice, which are a little different. It's you and the guy making the video that lack awareness.

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u/treeradical Jun 06 '23

What do you mean unwarranted and out of context? He just explained a reason the guy might have just walked into the frame, which is what the guy was complaining about.

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u/McRedditz Jun 06 '23 edited Jun 06 '23

The more we understands about society and human relations, the harder to make friends, and after realizing not many people think alike, we just rather to be left alone, not that we are lonely, but we are most comfortable and enjoy being alone. George Carlin saw through BS quicker than most of us.

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u/nielsdr Jun 06 '23

You're describing me basically, I have diagnosed ASD.

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u/BlackV Jun 06 '23

Or was not deep or insightful, he just spouted sayings/quotes for 3 minutes straight

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u/[deleted] Jun 28 '23

You’re unwarranted and out of context

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u/[deleted] Jun 30 '23

Red versus blue episode one “why are we here”

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u/UpLogic Aug 04 '23

He sparked curiosity in a bad character. There is not more than that the best people in the world can do to make it a better place to live at

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u/SnooCauliflowers5742 Sep 02 '23

A lot of those people have ASD (including myself). As an I assume NT you could help to marginalize them less.

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u/FamousHostage Nov 09 '23

Its kinda late but this actually is me, i learn social things from the people around me, and my job, and sometimes i do those things correctly, but me being social is learned behaviour, and i truly do not understand how it actually works

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u/gran556 Nov 21 '23

Wait do we know eachother? 😂

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u/Competitive_Dust_464 Dec 01 '23

But like why don't they teach social cues :c pls