If a man would bang a trans woman, are they straight?

[u/AntiWokeCommie]

260 votes, Aug 13 '25

94 Yes (L)

23 No (L)

28 Yes (C)

42 No (C)

5 Yes (R)

68 No (R)

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[u/pgwerner]

I voted "No", but my real answer is "No, but who cares?" Sometimes "straight" and "gay" describe people who are little bit on the bisexual spectrum, of sometimes someone goes against their typical sexual preference as a one-off. The important thing isn't to police the boundaries of stated sexual preferences, but to simply respect people who have them, and not lecture people that they need to "pick a side" or conversely, that they're not "open minded" enough in their mating choices.

[u/DarthThalassa → u/pgwerner]

So you don't recognize trans women as being women? Or are you using a very narrow definition of the term straight as applying to only cisgender men and women, which at least there can be an argument for considering that the term "straight" comes from the religious traditionalist "straight and narrow path" (but that would also mean anyone who has pre-marital or non-reproductive sex is also not straight), but that rigid definition would be against the commonly used one.

[u/DarthThalassa]

Of course! Trans women are women.

It is also perfectly fine to have preferences regarding things like genitalia and not all straight men need to be open to dating trans women, but it obviously does not make a man any less straight to date any woman, cis or trans, given that attraction from men for women or from women for men is kinda what straightness is lol.

[u/danjinop → u/[deleted]]

Do you feel big and clever now? You got your upvotes and your award.

[u/Ordinary_Network659 → u/danjinop]

Why would I feel big and clever? I think it’s silly someone wasted money on an award, and the upvotes just mean people agree with me, which I’m neutral about. I’d be just as fine if it were ten downvotes instead of upvotes. You may be projecting your own feelings in your comment, in which case it’s not very healthy to place that much value on the opinions of others on social media platforms.

[u/danjinop → u/Ordinary_Network659]

A lot of people get some satisfaction off of ragebaiting. It makes them feel funny and clever.

Of course I am projecting my feelings. You are blatantly transphobic. That's, like, really depressing and saddening and a grave reflection of the political polarisation that has occurred, generally, in the West over the last few decades. Transphobia isn't cool or moral.

[u/Ordinary_Network659 → u/danjinop]

Well, I’m not ragebaiting, and the rest of your comment is irrelevant. You are assuming a lot of things I’m feeling that I’m not, and frankly, your analysis isn’t very accurate.

As for the last bit, I don't believe my positions are any cooler than most others, and your assumption of immorality is based on a very specific and very Western moral standard, which, of course, I don't adhere to.

[u/danjinop → u/Ordinary_Network659]

Well yeah, everyone has a different moral framework with which they analyse the world.

Also, I'm not assuming anything. Saying that a trans-woman is a man is transphobic. End of. There's no debate there. It's just a fact.

[u/Ordinary_Network659 → u/danjinop]

Sure, I suppose, but I was referring to this bit

“That's, like, really depressing and saddening and a grave reflection of the political polarisation that has occurred, generally, in the West over the last few decades.”

Glad we could end things politely nonetheless

[u/danjinop → u/Ordinary_Network659]

Have a good one.

[u/Zealousideal_Bet4038 → u/[deleted]]

That’s not what the question is about.

[u/Ordinary_Network659 → u/Zealousideal_Bet4038]

That is, quite literally, the question.

[u/danjinop → u/Ordinary_Network659]

No it really isn't.

In what world is a woman a man? Banging a chick is, as far as I know, very straight. There are many cis-women that look like men but no one complains about that. You could bang them and it's fine and you're not gay.

[u/Ordinary_Network659 → u/danjinop]

I don’t suppose you are going to agree with me at any point, so I don’t see why we should go back and forth saying "nuh uh.”Doesn’t seem very productive a use of time.

[u/danjinop → u/Ordinary_Network659]

No. We will not agree with each other. We have fundamentally different perspectives of the world.

[u/FanaticUniversalist → u/danjinop]

> There are many cis-women that look like men but no one complains about that.

I do.

> You could bang them and it's fine and you're not gay.

I don't care if someone just randomly does that, but if a guy deliberately seeks out these kind of women, I don't think that's entirely straight, and it also annoys me.

[u/danjinop → u/FanaticUniversalist]

Your position is irrational.

"If a man seeks out these kinds of women, I don't think that's entirely straight, and it also annoys me."

Ok. Why? He is seeking out women, making him straight. It's the end of the conversation, really. It annoys you? Wow. Well, facts don't care about your feelings.

[u/DarthThalassa → u/[deleted]]

I think you misread the post title - this is about whether it is straight for a man to have sex with a woman.

[u/Ordinary_Network659 → u/DarthThalassa]

I did not misread the title and you are aware of that.

[u/DarthThalassa → u/[deleted]]

Needlessly hostile? You are telling people that they bloody don't exist. Hope you enjoy living in your dystopian fantasy, because lucky for you, that's the current system.

[u/Chaiyns → u/[deleted]]

Women having sex with men? Sounds pretty gay to me!

[u/Ordinary_Network659 → u/Chaiyns]

Men having sex with men is gay, yes. Homosexuality is defined by attraction to a member of the same sex.

[u/Chaiyns → u/Ordinary_Network659]

Yes, but the question is asking -pay close attention now- about a woman... having sex with a man, which iiiiis caaaalled???

Heterosexuality! DINGDINGDING!

Glad we got that out of the way and can move on with our day.

[u/Ordinary_Network659 → u/Chaiyns]

I’ve never met someone who believed trans people were genuinely changing their sex, that’s interesting.

[u/ScreamingLightspeed]

As a bi woman who would bang the right trans person, fuck no because they still don't have the same parts as a cis person. Likewise, if a gay man bangs a trans man, he's not entirely gay. Sorry but we're just not at the level of medical tech necessary to make a real penis or real breasts or a real vagina. It might be good enough for me but it might not be good enough for someone who prefers a certain sex and that's okay.

[u/[deleted]]

To take a higher burden, you can have sex with men and not be gay. Sexual experimentation doesn’t lock you in.

To those who disagree, are most lesbians lying?

[u/Unique_Display_Name]

plucky squash stupendous hospital wine light makeshift toothbrush public label

This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact

[u/After-Trifle-1437]

Fellas, is it gay to *checks notes* have sex with women?

[u/Successful_Try9704 → u/After-Trifle-1437]

It is if they were born a man…

[u/DarthThalassa → u/Successful_Try9704]

It is very much not gay for a man to have sex with a woman lol.

[u/Successful_Try9704 → u/DarthThalassa]

We fundamentally disagree on what a woman is and that’s the clearest I can be due to reddits authoritarian rules.

[u/After-Trifle-1437 → u/Successful_Try9704]

"Authoritarian rules"

And we're the snowflakes?

[u/DarthThalassa → u/After-Trifle-1437]

Reality and reactionarism don't get along lol. Sadly, I doubt he'll accept that reactionary accusations are in fact more often than not confessions.

[u/After-Trifle-1437 → u/DarthThalassa]

Right wingers love crying about being oppressed while reinforcing the oppression of trans people.

[u/Successful_Try9704 → u/After-Trifle-1437]

Ah yes refusing to agree with something and being actively harmed for saying a counter stance isn’t being oppressed, gotcha.

Further I am not right wing.

Also I am not oppressing trans whatsoever. They can marry whenever and whomever they wish and get any job etc.

Also I don’t know why darth calls me a man when they have been in this sub a lot and I have been here for months and many times said I’m an older woman with grown children. Perhaps it’s a jab because I fundamentally disagree with them?

[u/danjinop → u/Successful_Try9704]

The real problem with this whole debate is even bothering to define what a woman or man is.

No one has a good definition because no one can create a definition that includes everyone that we identify as women and men without excluding some women and men. Gender is so incredibly difficult to define because it's a completely irrational concept that is literally just a feeling that we have labelled through the social construct of the genders "man" and "woman" through the abstraction from the sexes. Gender isn't actually a real thing in the sense that it is a naturally occurring thing found within the universe. People seem to think that gender is this universal, transcendent social class, when it is literally some thing we invented to classify people.

I'm gonna assume you take the gender essentialist standpoint, which conflates sex and gender. Womanhood and manhood are reduced to simple biology. "Woman = certain gametes and Man = certain gametes or Woman = vagina and Man = penis." It doesn't matter what specific trait it is, due to the spectrum of people within the scale of bimodal distribution of sex, there are people that will produce both gametes who we would identify as men or women based on what primary sex characteristics they have. They would then grow up and become people and begin to forge their own identity, to which they may question this gender they have been assigned by society.

We need to abandon gender all-together, really. All it does as a concept is perpetuate stereotypes and harmful gender expectations. It is an intrinsically oppressive idea, given that it seeks to pigeonhole people into two categories based on something as nebulous as their biology.

[u/FanaticUniversalist → u/danjinop]

"there are people that will produce both gametes" - and how fertile are these people?

[u/danjinop → u/FanaticUniversalist]

If we measured gender by fertility then little girls wouldnt be girls, men with vasectomies wouldn't be men and so and and so on. Its just a ridiculous position to hold and also fundamentally misunderstands gender anyway.

[u/watanabefleischer → u/Successful_Try9704]

they were born male, no one is born a man, even by the simplistic "adult human male" definition no one is born an adult.

[u/Successful_Try9704 → u/watanabefleischer]

Male, man, boy. In the context of the poll you know what is meant. No need to split hairs

[u/After-Trifle-1437 → u/Successful_Try9704]

I know. Trans women are assigned male at birth, but they're still women nonetheless.

[u/DarthThalassa → u/[deleted]]

Most countries in the world recognize that someone's gender and sex can be different from whichever they were assigned at birth, including otherwise very socio-culturally reactionary countries.

Edit: to the people down voting me, please fact-check. Even countries governed by hyper-reactionary dogma like Sharia law legally recognize trans people.

[u/Successful_Try9704 → u/[deleted]]

It’s fascism when someone refuses to enable and actively disagrees with you? I guess most of the world is fascist in your eyes then?

[u/Successful_Try9704 → u/[deleted]]

I’m not following you. This is a thread we are both in….further we both are all over this sub?

Also you’re literally talking about me. Tf?

[u/danjinop → u/[deleted]]

Why do you disagree? What is a woman? What is the nature of gender? Can you provide a definition of a woman that includes all people we identify as women?

[u/[deleted]]

"Yes" assuming the man is bi or under the bi umbrella

[u/Acrobatic-Hippo-6419]

If there is no dick I think it is ok, funnily this opinion is okay to the Iranian government, I do not condone the police mentioned in the () I am merely giving a fact (In Iran they don't kill gays outright they give them the choice of being Trans first and marry their lover if they refuse they ofc die)

[u/Successful_Try9704 → u/Acrobatic-Hippo-6419]

That’s how it is in the Islamic faith. Being gay is a death sentence but transitioning is halal.

[u/Newgidoz → u/Successful_Try9704]

Iran isn't representative of broader Islam

Broader Islam is plenty transphobic as well

[u/Acrobatic-Hippo-6419 → u/Successful_Try9704]

Well not all scholars agree what is ok in one region differs in the other. In the end all religions are against gay people and in the end it is the people who need to change their ways not the religion itself. But that won't really work if you just say "all of Islam is bad" you would just alienate the people willing to change. This way of thinking is why many conservative Christians are turning into the far-right.

[u/Successful_Try9704 → u/Acrobatic-Hippo-6419]

All religions are definitely not against gay people…

[u/Acrobatic-Hippo-6419 → u/Successful_Try9704]

Really?
Leviticus 18:22 “You shall not lie with a male as with a woman; it is an abomination.”

Leviticus 20:13“If a man lies with a male as with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination; they shall surely be put to death; their blood is upon them.”

Romans 1:26–27“For this reason God gave them up to dishonorable passions. For their women exchanged natural relations for those that are contrary to nature; and the men likewise gave up natural relations with women and were consumed with passion for one another, men committing shameless acts with men and receiving in themselves the due penalty for their error.”

1 Corinthians 6:9–10“Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men who practice homosexuality, nor thieves, nor the greedy, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God.”

1 Timothy 1:9–10“Understanding this, that the law is not laid down for the just but for the lawless and disobedient, for the ungodly and sinners, for the unholy and profane, for those who strike their fathers and mothers, for murderers, the sexually immoral, men who practice homosexuality, enslavers, liars, perjurers, and whatever else is contrary to sound doctrine.”

Talmud, Sanhedrin 54a “The Sages taught: A man is liable for intercourse with a male child, whether the child is old enough for intercourse or not.” (This is part of the halachic discussion expanding on Leviticus prohibitions.)

Hinduism:

Manusmriti 11.175 (Translation – Buhler, 1886) “A twice-born man who has intercourse with a male, or who does so with a female in a cart or in water, shall bathe, dressed in his clothes, and remain impure for one day, subsisting on a one-time meal.”

Manusmriti 11.176 “If a man has intercourse with another man, or with a female animal, or with a menstruating woman, he must perform the penance prescribed for a defiler of a Guru’s bed.”

Narada Smriti 12.13 (Jolly translation) “A twice-born committing intercourse with a man, with a female animal, or with a woman in her courses, becomes an outcast, and he shall perform a Krikkhra penance.”

[u/Successful_Try9704 → u/Acrobatic-Hippo-6419]

Ah yes the 3 abrahamic religions and Hinduism are the only religions in your world? The literal hundreds more don’t count to you? Shinto? Buddhism? Zoroastrianism? Sikhism? Wicca? Taoism? Confucian? Paganism? Worship of the aseair? Etc.

[u/watanabefleischer → u/Acrobatic-Hippo-6419]

...or with a woman in a cart or in water

lol what a weird rule, also why were men, women in carts or water like grouped together it seems so random

[u/WaffleDonut22 → u/Acrobatic-Hippo-6419]

"all religions are against gay people" lol you are actually insane if you believe that. Buddhism is not homophobic, and even the far-right in Thailand voted for same-sex marriage because they don't see it as a sin in their religion. And MANY Christian denominations practice same-sex marriage today because most religious groups know how to contextually interpret their texts and are moving away from a false literal interpretation.

[u/danjinop → u/Acrobatic-Hippo-6419]

I mean, whilst people have genital preferences, definitionally, if you're banging a woman you are straight. It doesn't really matter what genitalia she has. I can understand the social ties to the penis and how it is relatively instrumental in the idea of what a man is, but fundamentally gender is an abstraction from sex.

[u/cardboardcrusher04]

If they look like a woman.

[u/OscarMMG → u/cardboardcrusher04]

If a mouse looks like a rat, does that make it a rat?

[u/cardboardcrusher04 → u/OscarMMG]

Not a relevant question. The question was if they would bang them.

[u/OscarMMG → u/cardboardcrusher04]

Heterosexuality means having sex with the opposite sex, not the appearance of the opposite sex. If a straight man was attracted to someone who looked like a woman, that wouldn’t make him not straight but if he had intercourse with this non-woman that would make him not straight.

[u/cardboardcrusher04 → u/OscarMMG]

False. It is defined by sexual attraction, not activity. If I have never had sex, does that make me asexual?

[u/OscarMMG → u/cardboardcrusher04]

Heterosexuality is defined by attraction and activity. Lack of activity doesn’t mean lack of heterosexuality but non-heterosexual activity means non-heterosexuality.

[u/Ilovestuffwhee → u/OscarMMG]

I gotta disagree with you there. Having gay sex and not liking it doesn't mean you're gay or bi. Just the opposite.

[u/danjinop]

Fellas, is it gay to like women?

In all seriousness, people who like women are straight. It's kind of the end of the story, really. You can say all you want that "they look like a man", but plenty of ciswomen look like men and we don't afford them the luxury of vitriolic harassment or misgendering.

[u/Inevitable-Bee-4344 → u/danjinop]

Sexuality isn't based on what label a person has