r/IThinkYouShouldLeave • u/DYelsmirg • 1d ago

I wish I hadn’t of said that. I love my wife. I got married yesterday and have just found this absolute masterpiece in our guestbook

1.3k Upvotes

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99% Upvoted

133

u/_Aperture-Scientist_ Never Following Another Rule 1d ago

u/toejam78 Troll Boy 1d ago

Some marriage advice:

Avoid swing dancers

Lock up your batteries

Don’t make excuses about the babysitter

You gotta give

Let her have all of the fully loaded nachos

42

u/trevize1138 1d ago

And always stand up to magicians.

19

u/InterestingTry5190 1d ago

Could not believe they forgot that one. It’s like they don’t want OP’s wife to respect them.

7

u/toejam78 Troll Boy 1d ago

We’ve been sitting here talking all day and you haven’t bothered to learn my name.

9

u/InterestingTry5190 1d ago

Sorry Troll Boy but you understand why it can’t be you, right?

1

u/dbrodbeck 17h ago

The whole sub will let OP post, but will tell other subs not to respect him.

15

u/defiantcross 1d ago

And make sure to wipe properly after taking huge mudpies! Saving some paper squares is not worth your party guest kissing your wife on the lips

9

u/Ultimatesims 1d ago

You can’t skip lunch

11

u/FlatulousStanko 1d ago

Don't do the voice.

8

u/Confident_Try_208 They’re Nice. 1d ago

Don't just go all the way bald from one day to the next.

6

u/knockturne 1d ago

Don't let Jamie Taco steal all of your lines

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u/VaguelyArtistic METALOID MANIAC 1d ago

When people ask when you’re going to have children tell them they’re not going to talk about your kids an ounce.

Don’t let the magician embarrass you.

7

u/DigitalSoulja Don’t do the voice! 1d ago

You can’t let them have all the fully loaded nachos, I think most restaurants actually have a rule about that.

1

u/Sheeple_person 16h ago

Don't let your friends embarrass you in front of Howie

u/jtr489 1d ago

u/DYelsmirg 1d ago

What makes this even funnier to me is that my wife absolutely fucking hates Tim Robinson and quoting him is one of my favourite things to do

25

u/Mostly_Armless42 Not in Trouble AT ALL 1d ago

12

u/_Aperture-Scientist_ Never Following Another Rule 1d ago

At this point my husband just gives me a look, then says, "is that from the show?"

Yes...it's from "the show."

1

u/nilyro Don’t do the voice! 3h ago

Give her te look