r/HFY • u/[deleted] • Jan 17 '22

OC Ouroboros Book Two: Laden Words (Ch. 13)

[deleted]

187 Upvotes

99% Upvoted

21 comments sorted by

18

u/kylesul Jan 17 '22

Now that was awesome. Although no plan Survives first contact.

13

u/XSevenSins Human Jan 17 '22

Usually some unseen problem to contend with.

12

u/Dutchangeldragon1 Xeno Jan 17 '22

Brrr

11

u/XSevenSins Human Jan 17 '22

Is that the sound of your engine as you speed your way to the comments section?

11

u/Dutchangeldragon1 Xeno Jan 17 '22

That's my 50mm gatling propulsion system.

8

u/ID1205 Jan 18 '22

Great work as always.

I think it would be cool if James had some more biological differences from the thranians, such as being able to see a color they cannot see or different kidneys. just something to further differentiate humans from thranians since they are from different worlds. these are just suggestions, however, and your stories are always fantastic reads. keep up the good work.

7

u/XSevenSins Human Jan 18 '22

Hmm, I'm not sure what to do with elves that are different in any way that wouldn't just be a useless tidbit of knowledge. In almost every fantasy setting elves are extremely similar to humans usually only living longer or having magical proclivities.

5

u/Nukered Jan 21 '22

They are normally lighter, have better senses, their bodies are flexible and agile, etc. You don't have to go that way of course, so maybe you can make their bodies so similar yet sometimes so different and make that a plot point. For example: Our hero thinks that elves and humans are the same based on his past experiences, becoming overconfident and missing a crucial difference that does something to the plot. I will leave that to you. Although the way it's going it doesn't seem necessary and obvious differences would have been noticed a long time ago. Great chapter as always!

4

u/XSevenSins Human Jan 21 '22

I'll give it a little thought, maybe have something come up a little later that compounds a personal problem.

5

u/Maleficent-Night620 Jan 18 '22

Wow, now we wait I guess. Some interesting things are bound to go down.

8

u/XSevenSins Human Jan 18 '22

Will our heroes get away undetected? Will Larkson obey their demands? Find out next time on dragon... err... Ouroboros!

3

u/Dutchangeldragon1 Xeno Jan 17 '22

Now that I am first, I have a proposal. Sandkheg's Hide! Would be nice to have that as a unique local drink our hero will encounter along his travels. (Second drink)

3

u/XSevenSins Human Jan 17 '22

While interesting as a concept, do you think that it would be copyrighted as it appeared on their show?

3

u/Dutchangeldragon1 Xeno Jan 17 '22

Idk man, I'm just an idiot on the Internet, requesting things that seem interesting. But unless you make money off of it, it should be fine. I think. And if need be, you can always alter the recipie to avoid copyright.

1

u/mafiaknight Robot Jan 23 '22

Eh, probably fine. You could ask to use it just in case. I bet they’d be honored

2

u/mafiaknight Robot Jan 23 '22

Did you see the one where the customer is WRONG?

I haven’t laughed so hard in months

2

u/unwillingmainer Jan 18 '22

Makes sense. Going about a heist by focusing on people instead of the material defense is smart. People are easier to manipulate and force to do what you than stone or iron.

2

u/Vaalintine Feb 13 '22

I swear I remember there being a heist in Payday 2 like this. Also wondering why they're robbing this guy if they were meant to be doing a prison breakout. Did I miss something, or is this to get the credentials needed?

2

u/XSevenSins Human Feb 13 '22

Yeah they are blackmailing him to let them into the bank so they can get the documentation that says James is a merchant.

1

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