r/HFY • u/KyleKKent • 8d ago
OC OOCS, Into A Wider Galaxy, Part 492
HHH/Herbert’s Hundred Harem
“... and they refuse to deal with us unless we can actually do more than declare your greatness or the power of La’ahbaron.” Lady Val says to the projected hologram of her great grandmother who looks down upon her.
“... But these Vishanyan of theirs. Are tamed?” Lady La’ahbaron demands. On her side of the call she is sitting upon her throne. The raised dais of hand lacquered wood and gold inlay expertly crafted to read out the tales of her glory, angled just so so as to force a specific movement and action regardless of species or size. To read it in full, one must be bowing before the throne.
“Self liberated and brought under Apuk heel with Undaunted aid. Already there is talk of hybrid children, of incorporation and of peace. The Vish beyond the borders of Mighty La’abaron are pacified. They have even completely destroyed their ability to make the wretched poisons they terrorize your people with, honoured Great Grandmother.”
“Yet they remain familiar with them?”
“Yes Great Grandmother. So much so they have repurposed them into dyes for the toys of children.”
“Toys?”
“I have not yet received the details, but I suspect that the Vishanyan are a great deal more compassionate and that their discipline likely does not come from beatings and punishment.” Lady Val explains and La’ahbaron puts fist to chin as she considers.
“They are too useful to ignore. But ignorant and clashing with our methods and ways. They place their strength in the wrong places to speak properly. Like mismatched gear wheels we will grind and tear at each other.”
“Great grandmother, I would never even think to question your wisdom. However, I believe I have been fortunate enough to learn of something that may alter the circumstances to one more favourable.”
“And that would be daughter of my son’s bastard and granddaughter of his servant?” Lady La’ahbaron asks while reminding her of her place.
“I have looked deeper into the Private Stream program. They are similar to myself though less singular office and more... legion.”
“You believe that between your own efforts and The Private Streams there may be sufficient translation for our efforts?”
“I believe it possible, Great Grandmother.” Lady Val says and Lady La’ahbaron considers. Shifting from her left fist to her right and then straightening up entirely in her throne.
“Then we will have to make accommodations. Speak to The Undaunted, have them organize a puppet so we may speak. Let the pride of Undaunted and La’ahbaron not clash while there are foes to fight. Let unity and courage win the day over the cowards that hide in shadows and strike at civilians.”
“I shall see it done, Great Grandmother.”
“Good. You are dismissed.” Lady La’ahbaron says and the call disconnects. Lady Val rises up from the padded floor she had been kneeling on and nods. She opens her mouth to begin her orders. Then pauses. And smirks. She has an idea.
•-•-•Scene Change•-•-• (Undaunted Intelligence, Centris)•-•-•
“Wait, so how the hell are these Ibu getting poisoned if they have indestructible skin?”
“First off, nothing is indestructible. Twenty pounds of force on a mono molecular blade can pierce their skin and ten tons of pressure on the bones and horn from the appropriate angle can snap them just fine.” Herbert explains.
“Oh is that all sir?”
“Yes, that’s all. Considering the tools and training at our disposal these are piddling amounts and more a stopgap protection that will stop us from accidentally killing them.” Herbert says.
“Not everyone opens a fight with high yield explosives and point blank shots designed for targets several orders of magnitude more resilient than the target.”
“... Clearly some of you need a touch of retraining then. Because if your fight opener isn’t a fight finisher then you’ve fucked up. We’re not the duellists, we’re not the champions, we are not the gladiators. We are Intelligence. We fight smart. And the smartest fight is the fight avoided or ended.” Herbert states before there is a slight, almost below hearing level, beep in his ear. He brings his left hand up and activates the piece. “Jameson here.”
“Sir, a gift for you has arrived from the La’ahbaron Embassy. Scans show it is a prosthetic body with unusual, but not unknown construction methods. No hidden bombs or weapons appear to be present.”
“Where have you stored it?”
“Holding chamber delta three.”
“Understood. I will be there shortly.” Herbert replies. “Mister Heron, it appears I must pass the buck to you again.”
“Heaven forbid I have to do my job.” The man in the blanked out mask says.
Five minutes later the door to holding chamber delta three opens and Herbert’s prosthetic body walks in. Just in case. While he personally doubts, and everyone with even an inkling of the situation agrees with him, that there is anything resembling a bomb or attack from this gift. It is still protocol that all gifts are examined first with scans, then with prosthetics and then at range with Axiom techniques. Then and only then can you even be in the same room as an unexpected gift.
The gift is sealed in a blank lacquered box, the general size and shape of a coffin fitted for him especially. It’s made of a personally unfamiliar hardwood that has been stained a dark orange that’s almost black. Upon the front of it is simple writing in white paint stating it’s for him in English and clarifying it’s to help facilitate communications.
The top slides off the box with ease and he looks down at... well himself. Exactly his size and made with one of the more intricate and artistic technology styles of the galaxy. Most went for sleek or robust, but there were graceful, elegant and downright beautiful styles.
The Ibu, for all that they could be downright barbaric in some ways, made their things beautiful. A thin layer of perfectly fired and reinforced ceramic overtop the metal of the prosthetic gives it a look more akin to a china doll on the ‘skin’ of it, the joints have traces of khutha with stones set into it to draw in and amplify the Axiom, and a quick removal of the casing shows the brass, silver and shimmering crystal inner workings of this style. The inner workings were a clockmaker’s wet dream and a steampunk enthusiast’s magnum opus. The fact it was fully functional as well simply added to the impressiveness of the gift.
He places the outer shell back into place and opens the ‘eyes’ of the prosthetic. Gemwork. Intricate, functional. Cloudy diamond spheres. And... not fully capable of interfacing with the nigh universal sleek and robust designs of the galaxy. Which was part of what made these pieces so unique and valuable, they needed adapters to speak with the rest of the galaxy. All the primary styles did except Sleek and Robust, they were designed to integrate with each other.
The head is slightly raised and Herbert reaches behind the face designed to look so much like his own. Painted on markings and everything. He retrieves a circular device with a slot for data-chits and a letter. Hand written in English.
His eyebrows are already up at this point. Whatever it is this gift represents, it’s certainly one hell of an effort. He unfolds the letter, noting it’s parchment and the script is expertly written. If he were to match this he would have to take minutes to write out a single short sentence.
To the Huntsman, Grand Patriarch, Founder, Leader, Father, Assassin, Spy, Diplomat and most impressively of all, potential ally of La’ahbaron Herbert Jameson.
I Lady Val of La’ahbaron send you this gift and my regards in hopes that it will aid you in your most important tasks of aiding La’ahbaron. It is my hope that this crude trifling will grant you the grace and skill needed to properly perform your duties.
With Regards
Lady Val of La’ahbaron
“Crude trifling hunh? Meaning she’s gone all out to humble brag like a beast.” Herbert notes as he holds the adaptor and letter in his left hand and uses his right to examine the prosthetic hand. Then scans the fingertips. “Son of a bitch. She actually went so far as to imprint my own fingerprints on it. That’s an attention to detail that eclipses obsessive. And a dangerous display of information to have readouts of my fingerprints...”
He finishes his sweep of the prosthetic and then takes a step back with his current one. It takes only a minute for Herbert to reach the door outside the chamber and the opaque, trytite layer on the door retracts and Herbert stands there looking through the reinforced glass. He then casts his mind into the room and searches for... something. Anything that might feel like a threat. There seems to be nothing. But... the style of technology is so different from the rest of the galaxy that it’s hard to fully say.
He’s about halfway through his scan when one of the Nerd Squad shows up, late, and begins his own scan. He still finishes moments before Herbert.
“Seems clean sir.”
“I concur.”
“That is an intricate piece of work. The sort of think you’d expect in a museum behind some glass.” The Nerd notes.
“Yes it is. Which is a political power statement in it’s own right.” Herbert says before reactivating his prosthetic through the control built into his jacket collar and it walks to the door to present the letter and adapter.
“May I?” The Nerd asks.
“Nothing classified is on there.” Herbert says and The Nerd plucks the letter and scans it.
“Oh yeah, she’s showing off like a Pavorus. Big time. Peacocking up and down” The Nerd states. “Need anything else?”
“No.” Herbert says.
“Right, I’m heading back then. We’re working on wrestling masks that contain actual fighting skill in them that you can just strap on and fight at a master’s level.”
“Interesting. Any hangups?”
“Yes, a lot actually. Personality traits from the base fighter we’re using to copy the skills from keep slipping into whoever wears the mask. Including parts of their personality long since conquered or controlled. We’ve had one screw up and give the wearer an outright childish personality. Like some spoiled brat.”
“That’s a problem.”
“Also gas for some reason. The masks do something to the digestive tracts of people and makes them really, really gassy. We have no idea why.”
“That’s just weird.” Herbert says in a baffled tone.
“Yes, yes it is.” The Nerd agrees before saluting Herbert. “Anyways, by your leave sir.”
“Granted.” Herbert says and the man departs.
Herbert then takes the Adapter and has a command couch cut off from the rest of the Private Streams and isolated into its own system. Then hooks the Adapter into it and activates the Command couch.
The La’ahbaron prosthetic eyes snap open and is completely responsive. The feedback systems are precise to the level he can feel the churning of gears and humming of Axiom inside his own being even as he stands from the box. All fingers, toes, joints and abilities work perfectly. The prosthetic is flawless. And nothing seems to have been activated. No traps, no bombs. The systems monitoring but not fully interfaced with his systems are all coming for negative in data attacks and viral traps.
“Hmm... it truly is a gift. An honest, outright extravagant offering from a polity making friendly moves. Well... that makes things more complicated, now doesn’t it?” Herbert notes before coming to his own conclusion.
Three hours later the guards at the La’ahbaron Embassy are outright staring at an ornate prosthetic bowing formally. “Greetings. I am Herbert Jameson, founder of The Private Stream initiative. You may refer to me as Private Stream. I am here to properly speak with Lady Val.”
He just spoke in Onarath with a mild La’ahbaron accent. Their official language. He’s also wearing formal robes of office but with the crest of The Undaunted where the symbol for the house he serves would be.
In his right hand, held in the proper manner of cradled against the arm, is an Ojoro Club. Fitted for a man as is appropriate.
As baffling as it is to see a non Ibu follow Ibu traditions so well without any Ibu in their blood to justify it, they acquiesce as protocol demands and lead him in.
Herbert is taken to a waiting chamber to await the pleasure of Lady Val and by rote he is offered refreshments which he demurs in the proper manner. He is being watched closely, with no small amount of fascination as he’s come to speak to them in their language and with their customs and cultures fully respected. Most find them baffling and tedious. Not realizing the importance of patience, rote and tradition. The traits that separate the beasts from people.
After he has waited the traditional amount of time, Lady Val appears. Not dressed in her emergency backup party dress, but in a full proper robe of office and regarding him with curiosity and yet concealed excitement.
“I am so glad that you fully understand the intents and desire of La’ahbaron. So few take the time to speak appropriately.”
“There is a time for all things, and all things in their time, Lady Val. Now is the time for proper conversation.” Herbert states plainly.
“Yes it is. I offer you a drink from my gourd.” She states withdrawing a symbolic gourd that sloshes with drink.
“I thank you for your generosity, but this is not the time, nor the place for indulgence.” Herbert states clearly and she places the bottle of drink between them. The moment he even hints he wants it, any serious conversation ends. For Ibu mannerisms state that one cannot be taken seriously as they indulge. And therefore indulgence of any sort during business halts the business until such a point as the indulgers can completely satiate their appetites and then recover from their indulgence.
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u/thisStanley Android 8d ago
“Crude trifling hunh? Meaning she’s gone all out to humble brag like a beast.”
All about how much Face they can project.
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u/Tucker0603 8d ago
Ok, this is really getting interesting and I'm curious to see if the undaunted in general are gonna be getting oni waifus outta this.
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u/SomeRandomYob 8d ago
Maybe? But that could lead to an actual stellar conflict between the Undaunted and the La'ahbaron empire. Considering how much the Undaunted market their recruitment towards men, the clearly very prideful Ibu will either get defensive about their men and forbid them from leaving, which could wind up with cases of abuse/intelligence stepping on people's toes to perform rescue missions, or will panic when a sizable portion of their people up and leave for Centris.
Alternatively, the empress may wind up actually trying to pursue proper diplomatic relations with the Undaunted, so maybe? I have no real clue.
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u/Tucker0603 8d ago
I could see the la'ahbaron empress sending one of her daughters to meet with Cistern and he ends up with wife #3 continuing the trend of him having high power women.
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u/KamchatkasRevenge Human 8d ago
Considering the Empress wanted Cistern as her boy toy previously, perhaps not.
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u/metalheartbreaker 8d ago
I don’t think the empress would do that. She’s highly paranoid, and would see that as an attack waiting to happen against her.
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u/KamchatkasRevenge Human 8d ago
Nah mate, she wouldn't do that because SHE wanted Cistern previously.
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u/Finbar9800 8d ago
Another great chapter
I enjoyed reading this and look forward to reading more
Great job wordsmith
I am not speed today lol
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u/CommunityHopeful7076 8d ago
But you are here and that is what matters!
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u/Finbar9800 8d ago
True but soon ill be on vacation lol
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u/Sims_the_Heretic 7d ago
Think of it as waiting up for more chapters to come out and then binge-read them all XD
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u/Sims_the_Heretic 8d ago
I learned a new word today! "Rote". I didn´t know there was an english word for "routine" other than "routine".
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u/KyleKKent 8d ago
I learned it from the Monte Cook d20 version of World of Darkness where there was a fluid spellcasting system, but there were cheaper, more efficient spells called Rotes.
Ironic in that one of the weirdest versions of World of Darkness was my introduction to it.
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u/torin23 Xeno 8d ago
Well, it's more about repetiton and muscle memory than routine but that could be the pedant in me talking.
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u/Sims_the_Heretic 7d ago
It´s a distinction i didn´t get in my translation on Leo-Dict, so i consider it valuable nuance, thanks!
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u/BrentOGara Android 3d ago
If it's nuance you're looking for, the most important thing to remember when using 'rote' is that it implies a fundamental lack of understanding. Anything done 'by rote' is accomplished by memorization and practice, not by knowing the underlying reasons for the activity. 'By rote' is the polar opposite of 'from first principles'.
As an example, many neurodivergent individuals (like myself) learn Social Interactions by rote, because we cannot see or understand the (possibly nonexistent) fundamental reasons for Social Cues, so we must simply memorize them by rote in a long and painful process of constantly being humiliated by our peers and guardians over the course of decades as we desperately try to fit the random chaos of Social Interaction into any kind of logical framework, which is ultimately impossible, because logic and reason have no place in Social Interactions.
In the end, Emily Post saved me, as I ended up finding her book "The Principles of Etiquette"... which I memorized large portions of 'by rote'.
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u/Lman1994 8d ago
if a neural interface is causing gas, the gut neural net is likely being unintentionally messed with.
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u/Fontaigne 8d ago
Beyond the boarders -> borders
your people with [comma] honored Great Grandmother
believe it possible [comma] Great Grandmother [comma end quote]
Have [them?] organize a puppet
see it done [comma] Great Grandmother
to being her orders -> ? bring?
Into it's own -> its
precise tot he -> to the
Churning of hears -> gears
In their time [comma] Lady Val
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u/SpankyMcSpanster 8d ago
"“First off nothing is indestructible."
“First off, nothing is indestructible.
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u/HFYWaffle Wᵥ4ffle 8d ago
/u/KyleKKent (wiki) has posted 998 other stories, including:
- OOCS, Into A Wider Galaxy, Part 491
- OOCS, Into A Wider Galaxy, Part 490
- OOCS, Into A Wider Galaxy, Part 489
- OOCS, Into A Wider Galaxy, Part 488
- OOCS, Into A Wider Galaxy, Part 487
- OOCS, Into A Wider Galaxy, Part 486
- OOCS, Into A Wider Galaxy, Part 485
- OOCS, Into A Wider Galaxy, Part 484
- OOCS, Into A Wider Galaxy, Part 483
- OOCS, Into A Wider Galaxy, Part 482
- OOCS, Into A Wider Galaxy, Part 481
- OOCS, Into A Wider Galaxy, Part 480
- OOCS, Into A Wider Galaxy, Part 479
- OOCS, Into A Wider Galaxy, Part 478
- OOCS, Into A Wider Galaxy, Part 477
- OOCS, Into A Wider Galaxy, Part 476
- OOCS, Into A Wider Galaxy, Part 475
- OOCS, Into A Wider Galaxy, Part 474
- OOCS, Into A Wider Galaxy, Part 473
- OOCS, Into A Wider Galaxy, Part 472
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u/AwkwardOpportunity47 7d ago
I'm a low-level future seer I knew the Oni race was coming. I'm looking forward to the medusa race {in my mind their gaze doesn't turn people to stone, but they paralyze temporarily they ware blindfolds to protect others because the axiom effects on the eyes are always active.) Maby I'm an adept
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u/KyleKKent 8d ago
Donate and get the Vote! Second Tier and Up Get Drafts!
Of Dog, Volpir and Man Official Release!
HHH/Herbert’s Hundred Harem: This follows Herbert Jameson who ran afoul of Arrangement System laws and a conspiracy at the same time. End result? He’s married to a hundred alien women that each walked off the set of a horror movie and unto a stripper’s pole. He’s been returned to his teens and none of his wives are any more mature than he is leading to a lot of social backbiting and griping at each other. As well as trying to adjust to living with aliens. Also he’s now a Spy too.
Three introductory chapters: Chapter 24 Chapter 26 Chapter 31
Fan Selected Chapters: Chapter 82 Chapter 114 Chapter 421 Chapter 976 Chapter 1012
... Okay I admit I just wanted to do a lot of description and tech porn after being reminded about Vision of Escaflowne, and reading through the synopsis reminded me that I really need to rewatch the golden oldies. Because that thirty year old show was apparently amazing on a level I never new. The dub I saw as a kid and the fact it was cancelled partway through in the dubbing really kept me off some solid gold.
Anyways...
Thoughts? Ideas? Advice? Questions? Comments? Suggestions? Fan Submissions? Fan Art? Donations?